Chapter 28
" Dear Loki,
Congratulations! I understand that you are not happy about your condition ,as you call it in your letter.I can only imagine how confused and scared you must be feeling. But we jotuns are too much emotionally invested in next generation and expectant dams. So, while I will respect your right to reject the baby but I can't avoid the feeling of joy that comes with new child in the family.
Jotun pregnancies are not easy. and our harsh surrounding and scarcity of supplies make it more difficult to pull through for the newborns and their dams. Though we have higher fertility rate compared to Aesir, very little number of pregnancies can fullfill their cource and the infants are at higher risks here. Also the presence of both male and female harmones is difficult to balance.. so there are too many complications. That is the reason, we treat our expecting mothers very specially. Birthing a new life is a daunting task, and we as a community respect that. Also the children are considered precious here, so if you want you can come back home and we will assist you in every manner you need.
You have written that the baby will never be accepted in Asgard's court... for they might take a jotun appearance or for being born to you. But, my syskin, let me explain you something. In all of Jotunheim's history, whenever any jotun has coupled with any other race and borne a child, it has always been on other realm. As you know , beings from other realms are not capable of living in our weather. The cold would kill them sooner. In the distant past when we had communication, Whenever one of us finds love in other realm they would move to their partner's realm. And when they are blessed with children, they almost always got appearance of their native realm.We don't know the reason, maybe our genes are recessive or icy cold weather is necessary for the developing child to take proper jotun appearance. It is what it is. There are no recent examples of such couplings but you may know of Bor and Bestla, Odin's sire and bearer. Bestla was sibling to one of our forebearer.. Seti. They fell in love with Bor, second king of Asgard. The marriage was supposed to bring a peaceful relation between the realms but Bestla was not welcomed as a queen should be. Aesir always looked upon her with contempt and disdain. Along with the arrogant courtesans and the old fool Buri's suspicious gaze following their every movement... Bestla felt trapped. Still she chose to live there, in hope of making a place for jotun in aesir court. They had three children Villi, Ve and Odin, All of them aesir-skinned and all definitely male! After years of being mistreated by the brutish king and his court she came back to Jotunheim. Odin must be very small then.You have to understand that we Jotun don't cut familiy ties so easily. Bestla must have faced something horrible to leave the family they had built behind. Whatever may be the case, my point here is there are very little chances that your child may look Jotun. You are having a Aesir child , Sweskin.Trust me!
Also you wrote that you feel the child has been sapping your seidr, that maybe quite normal if the baby is to inherit your seidr. But I will inquire more about it. Anyways, whatever may be the cause , if you feel that my little nefew is not treated as the prince he is, you can send him here to your family. I promise you that we will cherish him and he will know happiness. Byleistr and I will ensure that he has a loving family! Or you can hide the pregnancy and send the child here immediately after birth. That way, those arrogant beasts will not harm you for being with child. I do not want to push you, but I just want you to know that whatever you choose ,I will support you in any way necessary. I would have loved to bring you home , so that we all can dote on you but we both know that can not be done. With your thunderer's committee visiting to decide our fate we can not take a single wrong step. But know that as soon as , the committee finalize their decision , Byleistr and I will be visiting you.
Your thunderer loves you and worries about you. He had sent another letter with yours telling me that you have not been well .I understand, the raging harmones might be making you sick and moody. I will be writing another letter to him to explain how to care for you as well as what to expect as the pregnancy furthers. I know that you are sick and scared , but think about all options before you decide.
Take care and write back soon.
Your Elder,
Helblindi Laufeyson.
Loki kept the letter back on the desk and held his head in his hands. Now , Fifteen days after he received his answer from Helblindi, he had read it so many times that he knew the each word by heart. Thor was sitting across him, penning a letter to Faradei inviting him to visit. The oaf had somehow convinced himself that the elf would uplift Loki's mood. It was absurd that Thor wanted the elven ambassador to meet Loki , even after knowing their past intimacy. The possessive brute who could not tolerate anybody looking wrong way on his beloved was ready to allow the shameless flirting of Faradei.
Also the king had been too thoughtful of late. Remembering Loki's food preferences, his medication, taking him to check-ups. He took the pregnant man's mood swings in stride... it was almost too much.But the day Thor moved a pillow under his feet, exactly when they were aching Loki had had enough. He asked Thor, how had he transformed so drastically... and did not let him leave until he accepted that he had some help. It seemed he was having his own private talks with Helblindi, Jotun healers and he asked a daily report from Eir on Loki's health.
Loki did not know if he wanted to be overwhelmed or overjoyed or plain angry. Thor was thrown out of bed that night.