Chapter 29
" And how is your appetite?"
" Well enough"
" The nausea?"
" Only in morning. I am fine during the day mostly."
" Any incidence of dizziness , weakness or pain?"
" wouldn't you like to know?", Loki smirked at the defeated expression of the old healer.
" Loki, behave!" , Sif warned, desperately wishing to be somewhere else.
" Why lady Sif, she is asking the questions only for her amusement.Its not like she can't poke inside me with her seidr and dissectp me to her knowledge. Why waste time, Lady Eir?"
Eir sighed and put he hads forward, howering on Loki's stomach silently asking permission. Loki raised his eyebrows..
" If I may ,prince Loki..." , she asked.
" You may!" , Loki answered primly and then winced as warm seidr entered his body, searching and engulfing his insides. He endured the breach with difficulty, his fists clenched bedcloths, body stiffened with lips and eyes shut tightly closed. He released the breath as soon as he felt the foreign seidr leave him. His eyes opened to Sif's concerned face.
He was about to assure her when she suddenly spoke, to Eir.
" Well.. how is everything?"
Loki laughed. He couldn't help himself. He answered Sif's confused frown ,still trying to contain his mirth...
" She is notgoing to tell us Sif, not to me at the least." , He allowed himself a satisfied smirk at the fallen face of aged healer.
" Lady Eir, Royal healer of Asgard serves only the throne and is loyal only to the King. She may care for my health as I am a property of the king and I carry his unborn bastard... I am not important enough to tell the intricacies of my own health. Isn't it so, Lady Eir?"
Eir sighed. She knew that Loki was not the forgiving type, " Prince Loki, I shall tell you about my assessment of your health. You seem to be fine to me, little weakened for my liking. But your appetite is improving and you are gaining weight. There are not any complications right now."
" And the child?" Loki asked ,a little hesitant.He had not thought he would be answered.
" I am sorry, my prince. I will tell you about the child once you decide it's fate, the King has prohibited me from talking to you about the child.He thinks you don't need the unnecessary attachment, should you choose to end the pregnancy. You would be wise to choose as early as possible. You are already at the end of first trimester, the later you abort the more complecated the procedure will be." , With that she collected her supplies and left. Loki's stared at the doorway long after she was gone.
_@_@_@_@_@_
"It was uncalled for !" , Sif admonished as soon as lady Eir was out. Loki leisurely turned his gaze back... amused smirk in place, the same smirk that irritated her everytime.
" She was just doing her work. Why do you despise her so! Don't you see that you are hurting her?" She asked, indignant.
" Despise? I don't despise her , Sif. I hate her. I hate her for keeping my origins secret from me, for never explaining why I am so different from Thor, from all my family. I hate her for being only royal healer, never the friend she claimed to be... I should not blame her I know! What do I expect from a healer when my own mother had been lying to me all my life? I am angry Sif, so very angry! Angered at Jotuns for not protecting me, at Odin for bringing me here and then treating me so despicably... always giving me hope that I could gain his favour some day while he revelled in smug knowledge of my truth! I am angry at Frigga, for aiding him , She loved me ,yes ,but not enough to stop the hate and scorn thrown in my way in allfather's lead. I am angry at you and your warriors for never being my friend, for always looking down at me with suspicion while you all used my skills and threw me away! I am angry at Thor for never standing up for me, for mocking me and my seidr,for treating me as dirt... I am angry at whole Asgard for following his lead. I am so angry that I can't breath sometimes ... I am angry at him for abandoning me to my fate untill he felt need for my skills. I am angry that I was thrown back into that cell after I fullfilled my role, I am angry that Thor had to go and make me his bitch! I hate him for ... for.. for raping me. I hate him for the spell that keeps me under his toe, for the pain and misery that has been my life, I hate him for putting this child in me and I hate this child for I can't protect him from his fate...I hate him ,Sif.I despise him and yet I can't even think of killing him!" , Loki did not know when he had started crying and he did not know when he was hugged by Sif who was whispering reassuring nonsense to his head while his face was pressed in her armoured bossom.
To say Sif was awkward was an understatement. She was a warrior... she had worked hard for that status. She faught and killed, she didn't deal with hysterical people. Had someone told her that she would ever try to console a sobbing Loki ,who was insanely harmonal and pregnant, she would have scoffed at the absurdity. Loki , the trickster god of mischief did not sob, not in front of Sif of all people. He laughed in front of impending doom, he plotted ,schemed and decieved.. even about his own pain.He would act indifferent in face of their hurtful mockery, not once did he showed how much he was hurt by their careless comments. And the same Loki was now crying hysterically in her harms, Sif did not know what to do.She prayed Thor would come back from wherever he had gone.
_@_@_@_@_@_
Thir entered back to silence. Loki was slumbering in bed. Sif was sitting awkwardly in a chair near staring in space. Two bowls of ice-cream on the table layed there, waiting to be cleared. Thor went straight to bed to plant a kiss on forehead of his pregnant lover. He kept a hand on oddly warm forhead as he removed the enchanted ring from Loki's finger. Loki turned his cheek into the king's palm unconsciously as Thor sat near him.
" How is he?" ,Thor asked Sif who was now standing to pay her respect.
" He is well.. as well as he can be. It's not easy for him."
" I understand. He has suffered..." and as he realised Sif was trying to convey something. , " Why do you say so? Has something happened?"
" You know that Eir was to check his condition today."
" Yes. I would never miss a healer's visit ! You know that Sif" ,Thor said holding his head in hands. He looked tired. Sif regarded him carefully,
" Are you well, Thor? What held you up? "
" I was called into Odin's office"
" You are the king, he has no right to summon you... that's what Loki would have said if he heard you."
" Yes. But he is still my father who have ruled the nine realms for a millenia. How do you think it would turn out for me if I defied him on such small matter?"
" So you don't mind defying in bigger matters?" , she quirked a brow.
Thor groaned . " You have been in Lokis company a little too much. Don't play word games with me." But then grinned at her smiling face.
" But seriously, my king. Why did he called you." Thor looked away, to Loki's pale face , running his fingers through raven hair, he asked,
" What did Eir say? Is Loki hale ? And the child... Is there any problem?"
" They both are doing well. The child is strong and you might have a seidrmadr coming... and Loki is also well physically. But I fear for his mind. He needs to come to terms with a lot of things. "
Thor's face had brightened at the mention of the child , which fell abruptly hearing Loki's condition.
" I know. Life has been so cruel to him, I don't know how to consol him. As I think he is ready to move further, something new is thrown his way. I don't know what to do,Sif. "
" Be with him. He knows you want the child, but he cannot imagine a realm where his children are safe and happy. Assure him of that. If he can trust you enough , he will take a good decision. It's not easy for one to kill their own child. He needs to decide soon."
Thor sighed , defeated. "How am I to assure him of his place when I am entertaining marriage proposals?"
" What?" Sif paled." Who..."
" Let's go outside ,my lady. Loki is a light sleeper... I don't want him to overhear and come to wrong conclusions."
_@_@_@_@_@_
After they were seated in receiving room,
Thor spoke.
" My father called me to discuss my marriage. Seeing I am not making any move myself , he thinks it's a good political match"
" Who?"
" Princess of Alfheim. Sigyn Freysdottir."
Sif opened and closed her mouth in shock. Thor stared at the pitcher of ale on the table. She finally found her voice,
" How can he do that. You marrying another is going to hurt him... but marrying her, it's.... "
" That is the reason he is never going to know about the proposal. Do you understand ,Sif?"
" Hmmm. Does Princess Sigyn knows? And What about Kimg Frey?"
" King Frey is the one who proposed the marriage. It seems he values a lucrative treaty with Asgard more than his daughter's happiness."
" Ah But I thought he likes Loki."
" Aye. I used to think he loves Loki more than me because mother favoured Loki. And Loki inherited his powers from our vanir blood. I was an ignorant fool" , he snorted at his conclusion ," Or Maybe he doesn't love Loki anymore. Everyone knows he is Jotun by now."
" Or maybe he still cares for him and want to send Sigyn here as a support to him and you also. Maybe it's her plan to ensure that Loki has someone to rely on and you don't marry someone worse. Thinking about her liaisons with Loki in past, I would not put it past her." , Sif said as if she to herself.
" Since when you are the voice of reason ,my lady" , Thor's eyebrows were raised.
" Since I learnt errors of my ways. We have broken enough things in our arrogance , my king. Let's not think worse of your uncle , He will not hurt his sister's sons in such way."
" Very well. I will try to talk to him or Sigyn about it. And let them both know that its not going to happen."
" And what about Allfather?"
" I declined the proposal. Though I assured him that I am available to suitable match, Seeing Sigyn and Loki had history together ,I will never hurt him in such a way! I am sure that I have deflected him for now... "
" That easily?" ,She was still sceptical.
" Norns! No Sif... We argued for hours. He was adamant that though Loki had courted her briefly centuries ago, they have parted on good terms and it will be good for him that his friend become a queen rather than some unknown woman... I may have accused him of planning this just to hurt Loki.. "
" But you are not marrying her!"
" No! And Father agreed to not bring it up again... "
" Good. Because Loki needs a break.
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