Chapter 16
Loki surprised everybody by riding his own horse. They didn't know him if they thought he would come in a covered chariot as his new station required.He was a concubine ,yes but he had been a warrior all his life.Thor kept saying that he had loved Loki as he was, so he had no reason to oppose.
As the six horses rode out to forests, aesir stared at black horse and its pale rider. Loki was used to their staring by now, he just enjoyed feeling of winds on his face as he galloped his horse away from the palace, from place of his confinement, his cage . He carefully kept his memories of the place away, riding was one thing he really missed and he had never thought he would feel the thrill of it again.He let the golden sun warm him and let himself feel free as much as he could.
He had not asked too many questions after seeing Thor so excited about the hunt. Thor had not stopped smiling since they left palace in early morning, when horizon was still dark. He laughed and joked and clapped jovially on his friends' backs. Loki decided that he liked this Thor, so happy and lovely..so much like the Thor he had grown up with.
Thor didn't remain happy fot long time.As they started to lose game in wake of loud footsteps and booming comments of Volstag and Thor himself, constant bickering between Sif and Fandral even after her reluctance to argue. Overall stupidity that can be made only by Thor's friends. Only Loki and Hogun had the skill of remaining perfectly still.In past Loki would have helped with his seidr but today he stayed back and watched their antics uninterested.He was not part of their group, they were not his friends,he had accepted that truth finally and now he was under no obligation to help them.
They were walking through dense forest, holding reigns of their steeds.Loki gazed at Thor's face, now frowning in lack of previous excitement. He looked murderous when Volstag chased another game with his loudness.
" Stealth Volstag! you need to move silently." Fandral cheerfully commented.
" And you need to shut up" Sif turned back
to whisper at fandral.
" Yes. learn something from Loki here.He can move like a ghost" Volstag commented , though he controlled his voice it was still loud.Loki stiffened.Thor looked uncomfortable, but the red haired man was trying to include Loki good naturedly. So he kept silent , trying to catch Loki's eyes.
" Enough." ,Sif stopped halting the whole entourage."We have never had this problem before.Why everyone is being loud today?"
" I hope Loki has nothing to do with that!" Hogun muttered but was heard by all , over Sif-induced silence. Loki faltered...but not in shock.He had expected this from Hogun actually.He stared at Thor, whose eyes widened and then narrowed in anger.
" Hogun, take your words back and apologize" ,Thor said in calm authorative tone.
" Why? I am just speaking my mind. And Loki has given us enough reason to be suspicious." Hogun answered in equally calm voice. He was right, Loki realised. Thor could not harm him over this reasoning.It would seem wrong.It was time to fight his own battle,
" How kind of you to bravely voice your suspicion ,Hogun.Seeing our mutual distrust, I didnot want to come with you in first place. It was you and your merry band who begged me to come.But I assure you, I have nothing to do your failure today.In fact this would have been a regular happening had I not shielded your friends' noises in the past .Not that you will see the truth when you can find a reason to blame me." ,Loki answered and missed to feel the glee he would have felt seeing their faces. He only felt weary. Thor seemed understanding after he moved the stage of shock. Fandral opened his mouth first,
" Loki, it was you who made our hunts easy! Norn's! And here I thought animals came by themselves for the honour of swords of Asgard's best warriors."
"Of course, you would do that. fine trick if you ask me.Can't you do it today? You still have your magic right?" , Volstag asked, relieved to have a solution.
Loki looked around, studying their faces,savouring the moment.For once he was needed, his seidr was wanted, required. Even Thor looked hopeful. But using his seidr in such way for continued time would drain him.He was already feeling tired, though all he had done was ride into forests and walked some distance.Shielding six people will surely be too much now... and he did not want to appear pathetic or pass out in front of these people. Even if he did this, it was not like they would start to appreciate him suddenly. It would be brushed away as tricks, in favour of boisterous tales of hunt and other's bravery.No they were not his friends, he owed them nothing.
" Loki , will you..." Of course Thor will ask in his most pleading voice.But Loki could not let him... he cut him,
" I refuse!",Thor shut his mouth," I will not help them, Thor.They are not my friends.And they have shown enough ill-will towards me to think them as my enemies." He felt bad at Thor's shattered expression, so added," They are your loyal friends ,so you can command me to help of course.But I refuse do so on my own."
He moved his eyes from Thor's face to Sif and others one by one, taking in and accepting harsh reality .He knew Thor would order him to help.Of cource, his friends always came first and this hunt was important, first hunt since Thor was made king. He did not know if they had hunted while he was in dungeons. Maybe not, The emotional fool would refuse to go without his brother.Maybe that was the reason they had convinced him to come.
' Should he tell Thor that he could not manage the strength to conjure and keep that big shield? Maybe If Thor commnded him to help, he could use their guilt later.' He wonderd what will happen if he doesn't obey Thor's command.He knew that his hand burns if he tried to cast a spell he was not allowed, but what will happen if he doesn't cast a spell he was oredered to? He would find out soon,he decided.And looked back to Thor, awaiting the command.Thor was frowning in thought and when he spoke it was not the command.
" Loki, you said you refuse to help them.Will you help me" , Ah .So king had learnt the art of manipulation albeit it was a poor attempt...So Loki answered,
" I understand, you want me to help you through helping them. This logic does not work for me,Thor.Say the command and be done with it."
" You misunderstood Loki .I don't want you to help them.I asked you if you could help me, only me!" That was new, Loki thought and found that he would like to help Thor, very much so.
" Yes,I guess?"
" Ah. friends, you heard him.We are not going to get any game like this. I think its best that we split here and meet at our usual clearing near the lake after some time. So that,if any one group have some success, we can all be able to eat." Thor said amicably.
" Are you abandoning us Thor?" Sif asked and grimaced immediately not liking her own question.
" Sif please, you know it's only way."
" There is actually one other way" , Volstag tried.Everyone looked uncomfortable, Loki stiffened.
" I will not order Loki. We have promised him fun, and fun he will get even if we have to go back without any success.I will not use him like this" Loki felt his heart swell, he was so overwhelmed that he almost offered his help willingly.Almost. But Sif spoke up, in hardened voice,
" Come on friends. Its a good strategy.We should obey our Kings command." And tried to smile before moving ahead. The three warriors follwed her without a word.Fandral threw a look towards Thor, while Hogun stared at Loki assessing him for any threat.Loki sighed after they were out of sight. Thor moved his horse in opposite direction.
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They were on there horses as the density of trees was lessened in these parts.Loki's black steed was following Thors pearly white mare while he enjoyed the surrounding. The open skies showing through the canopy of greenery, the warm afternoon breez ,the voices of forest creatures and birds... it felt so much like a day in past that he could forget not only the pressure of enchantment on his mind but also the heavyness of the ring. He could ignore the fatigue that run so deep that his bones felt weary.He decided to enjoy the apparant freedom while he could have it.So he let Thor to have the privilege of kill if they come across any game.
It happened so fast. Thor was watching the floor ahead to find and identify any tracks they will come across. He knew Loki had shielded all the sounds they made, yet he was trying to keep silent just to practice.He heard a swish at their right.Something was moving through the trees.. He was trying to feel the sound, to see where the thing was moving, but before he could decide the direction of whatever beast was coming to them, the boar was out of bushes running directly towards them. A little behind him , exactly onto Loki.Thor panicked, tried to turn his horse ,his horse panicked... and refused to do as ordered.
Later when he thought about it ,he could have thrown axe at the beasts head or better he could have smashed it with mjolnir.. anything more than shouting Loki's name and running towards him like an imbecile as if to stop the boar with his bare hands.By the time he was there, the beast was lying in it's blood, a dagger embedded deep in its neck. Loki was staring at the corpse with bewildered expression, as Thor fussed over him. Finally Loki dragged his attention back and said, "I am fine"
It was late afternoon, long past time for the lunch . Thor left Loki to rest under the tree and skinned the animal.Loki saw him struggling to start fire and spelled the flames alive. That was all help the king got and a pot that appeared out of thin air. While he used the spices they brought along to cook the meat, he thought about Loki's persistent weariness.His brother was looking almost haggard after only half days ride and a small skirmish with a boar. The enchantment was sapping his strength. He needed to find out a way to save Loki before it was to late. All father would not help, speaking in Loki's favor always had unpleasant consequences. No, he will find something himself, he decided. When he determined that fire was steady ,he left the pot over it.
He came back to sit with his brother.Loki had turned blue and was staring at his hand.Spots of sun streaming through tree leaves made a beautiful pattern on his body.He had discarded his clothes except breeches
" Blue day today?" Thor asked.
" Mmm.wanted to see how this form looks under sun."
" You look brilliant in sunlight" , he said and traced light and dark paterns on soft blue skin of his lover's chest.
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AFTER SOME TIME
As they layed there in aftersex bliss, one soft blue and one tanned golden naked body enwittened in each other.Loki layed over Thor's chest and traced hard lines of his muscles with his right hand.Thor held his left hand in his own right caressing the soft knuckles with his thumb.As their hearts settled and breaths started coming easy after passionate coupling, Thor spoke up,
" Loki."
"Mmm?"
" we need to talk."
"About?"
"Thanos!" Thor could not miss how Loki's finger stopped on his chest, how his body stiffened.
"Loki, you said he is coming.We need to be prepared"
" Not now Thor" Loki said after he was able to control his frantic heart.
" Love please.."
" Your friends are coming Thor. Not in front of them.", Thor knew Loki had protective spells around clearing, so he could sense if anything approaches.
" Fine. Just dress me waist down , I am rather comfortable here!" His pants appeared on him as Loki covered
himself in his full clothing. Then asked,
" Thor, do you want me to change into Aesir form?"
" Mmm.Do whatever you want.I rather think you look gorgeous like this. Imagine their faces when they see you like this"
" I would not live to see that... Imagine what they will do, if they found their king half naked, tackled to the ground by forst giant!"
In the end, Loki did not change back to Aesir form.But they sat side by side lounging around the tree trunk.When Warrior three and Sif entered , Volstag shouted greetings.
" There you are Thor...We thought we have lost you.Loki, you are blue!"
" I am a frost giant , Volstag.I am supposed to be blue."Loki rolled his eyes.
" You are little small to be a giant , are you not?" Asked Fandral.
" What did you think ,that I shrink my body when I turn Aesir ?"
"I never thought about it.Plus its you, you can do anything", Loki knew Fandral meant well, it could be a complement but still it left a bitter taste in his mouth.They trusted him so little, that they thought he could do anything. He kept silent. Sif and Hogun joined them after tending to all four horses.Hogun carried two hares on his horse,that was all game they got. Loki wanted to taunt them, but then left it.He was not in mood to bicker.
" Are you hungry friends.Meat is cooked"
"Yes, very hungry .What did you get, is it enough for all?" Volstag asked happy about prospect of eating.
" We got a boar.Loki killed it" ,Thor answered proudly.And manhandled him into his own lap.He was trying for a hug but then holding Loki close also felt good.Loki scowled and swat his hands away, annoyed.He then slid down and sat in space between Thors thighs, using Thor's chest as support cushion.Thor kissed his head affectionately.Loki looked around to see their reactions, he turned in time to see Sif who turned her gaze away, a frown marring her beautiful face. He felt bad for her, they used to be friends.Sif was one of his first friends before she decided that friendship with Thor was more beneficial. Loki himself had introduced them, but found himself being more and more alone as Sif created her space in Thor's little group. Loki was already mocked and insulted for tricks, so she decided that she could not be associated with him.She had her own problems afterall , so she got closer to Thor and his friends by enjoying their insults to Loki, slowly she also started taunting him.Somewhere along the lines she fell in love with Thor, hard.And Thor had never showed interest in her more than as a friend.Loki understood this now, He had felt angry and betrayed in the start.He played enough tricks on her to be remembered by whole Asgard as retribution.He had not been able to trust a friend since her betrayal, he learnt early that people associated with them for some gain and acted accordingly. Thor was a naive fool so he had to be protected from such attention, thus achieved his viscious reputation.Thor had managed to find friendship and loyalty in four people he was close to since childhood.Loki took care of all others, he knew that thor's stupid band was happy to keep others away and their own position protected.They never spoke of this of course ,but he was no fool.
As Hogun and Fandral moved to serve them food, Volstag complained about lack of water.They had used up all their water. Thor volunteered, saying ,"you are tired friends.I will go fetch water for all."
As they sat waiting for their King to come back.Fandral tried to flirt with Loki, who snubbed him saying, " Leave it Fandral.We have no love lost between us, not even the mock friendship we used to have..So there is nothing to stop me from killing you."
" And why do you think we would not kill you after you harm one of us?" Hogun asked.Loki smirked, silly Hogun!
" Sure.Why does it sound more like a relief than threat? Do you think I love my life, Hogun? I have no desire to live, please help me.But I know you would not do it.You have worked hard to earn the position you have now.Thor will at least throw you away if you harm me.You won't be his friend anymore" Loki streched his lips in a smile that didnot reach his eyes.Hogun understood he knew about his manipulations , of course he knows.They had earned Thor's frienship at his expense.Loki did not notice others expression in his bitterness.
" Loki , are you...are thinking of killing yourself?" Asked Fandral.
" I can't.that oaf has forbidden me." he answered truthfully. They sighed in relief.
" Loki , I know this is difficult.You have suffered a lot.We wanted to apologize, for our part in it." Volstag said.Loki looked up to find them looking at him, with odd expressions.He tried to gauze their faces for lies.When he did not speak, Fandral said again.
" I am sorry Loki.You have gone through a lot.And beared it all bravely.
" No.you are not!" He said after a long pause.
" What?"
" You are not sorry. You were never my friends, so you don't need to be sorry for whatever you did in past.I have payed you in equal measures, no need to underestimate me. In truth , you only showed where your true loyalties lay in difficult times.I know that you are pleased that I am bound to Thor.My every action is controlled by him.You are glad that this ugly creature , this monster cannot do anything to harm you or Asgard.You are not sorry, so don't start lying now.Excuse me.I need to go find my master" ,and he left stunned four persons staring in silence.
If Thor had left them alone in hope of reconciliation ,he was going to be disappointed. Loki helped him in carrying back some waterskins.And they all ate in ate in silence.