Chapter 13
Thor walked towards his mother's garden, lost in thought.When Odin had asked for a private meeting he had readily accepted. It was first time they were meeting after Orwar's trial and Thor had suggested to meet at mother's garden ,a neutral place,close to their hearts.He was glad,that his father had only taken four days to reach out. Odin usually held on to his anger too long, maybe he was getting old,maybe he had thought some new scheme to turn thor against Loki.
All father came after him.They both sat down... nobody spoke.
" Your mother's gardens have not changed at all...I am glad." A harmless topic.
" Aye.They will remain as they were kept by her."
" She would be proud of you."
" No she would not, seeing what I have done to Loki!"
" Ah. That was necessary.You think me as his tormentor but you are too naive and trusting. You won't believe what your court will do if they knew he was roaming free!"
Thor didn't answer, he felt like he was being reprimanded. Odin continued,
" I still think you punished Orwar too harshly"
" At least he got a trial.." Thor was angry.He could have killed the einjenhar on spot.
" That was a good decision.Asgard always prided herself to be fair in judgement.But defaming me was a wrong move, your position is stronger when we are a united front."
Thor fumed thinking how Odin still was trying to manipulate him into favourable position.
" Then why was Loki not given a trial? Why did you judged him so hastily?"
Odin smiled, " And what would have happened if he was tried.Did he have any witnesses to speak for him? We have enough proof about his crimes... Heimdalls testimony is more than enough. But had I tried him,more than bringing shame to our family name, nothing could be achieved. Nobody would speak for him except Frigga, and I would have been forced to execute him" Thor's eyes widened.It was true ,Loki would have died if he was tried publically.
" Listen,my son I know you think I don't care for your brother.But I have always cared for him, Maybe I didn't love him enough and the boy was too perceptive to miss that. But I have never intended harm to him. I should have been upfront with him.I have lost one son, I will not lose other.I am not as good as your mother, but I wish to speak with you. Ask me boy, ask me your doubts"
" Sometimes I think ,if you had been open with your affections with Loki, he would not have taken it so badly after discovering his blood. With me ,you interacted at least in arena but Loki, I now see how he strived for your attention"
Odin sighed.," There is no excuse,really.I had given the boy reason to doubt my love. But being king is not easy.You can't show your emotions openly,lest your weaknesses will be bared to those who wish you harm.I have lost a brother, Ve for My father's love for him was well-known.He was taken from us,used as tool to hurt the King." Odin's single eye turned misty in memory, " That is the reason I wanted you not to show how much Loki affects you. You have given strong message,but also made Loki a target. Believe me when I say, the strike will come from far closer than we like."
" Please father, stop your riddles for once and speak clearly.You are wrong to assume Loki would strike me, he knows how vulnerable he is without me.If you don't trust him, atleast trust his intelligent self-preservation."
� " Fine.I don't think its Loki who will strike.He may but not now"
" Then who?"
" Everyone.I can't give you single name, I am not Frigga to know future.But you must be wary, your rule is new and unstable. A new ruler must rule with iron fist. Loki understood this clearly.And he was very much successful in creating stability, until your friends betrayed him.And went on to bring you back"
" Loki is too much like you than you both realise.He has a thirst for knowledge and uses it cunningly. But my friends did not betray him, they doubted his intentions and came to me.They are just loyal"
" They disobeyed lawful king's command for their loyalty to you.They committed treason. And before you ask, I couldn't punish them because you were grieving your brother, and I could not take your friends from you that time.So I left it to rest and avoided discussing my dead son's deeds in court."
" I wish they would not have come to me.I wish this has not happened. He was alone, disturbed by his parentage and instead of staying by bis side they betrayed him" Thor said sadly.
" Because they are your friends not his. They are always wary and mistrustfull about him.They have masked their intentions through jests and mocking insults, but I have seen them working unitedly against him to keep you two away. To keep you for themselves.why it is that you never made any other friends in thousand of years till middgard, till you was away from your friends." Realisation dawned Thor's face.He wanted to think this was some kind of clever scheme of his father, but there was a grain of truth in that accusation.
" Loki must have seen this, thats why he hated them.But why did you not speak to me earlier.Why did you let Loki suffer so?"
" It is a part of life,son.One doesn't stop children from running for the fear of falls and grated knees... Similarly friendships, betrayals and heartaches are the things one should experience themselves. I thought you both will figure it out.But as I said you are too trusting and naive"
" Why now?"
" Because I see that you are still not ready,and if I don't talk about this you will turn to Loki for advice and I don't trust him."
" Why. Can't you see how hurt he is? Don't you feel anything for him ?"
" My feelings and Asgard's safety are two different things.I have accepted that I have lost him.But I will not loose you to his schemes.I am warning you"
" Duely noted. but your disregard still hurts him, I can see it in his eyes. Can you talk to him, only once?"He tried again.
" You are too much like your mother with your forgiveness and loving heart.She was too quick to love and accept him,It scared me" Odin had not answered the questions, so the answer was 'No'.
" So you didn't brought him home through kindness.Was he just a stolen relic, a tool as he says?"
" I will not lie with you, He was going to die if I didn't help him.I felt pity,yes.But I decided to take him in when I saw Laufey's markings on him. I thought I could use him to bargain for peace and return him to his family.But the child was natural shapeshifter, he changed in his pale white form in my arms.And Laufey never demanded his son back, so we assumed he had abandoned the child to die. Later when I brought him home,Frigga made me to adopt him.I conceded as I had also started to care for him."
" Hmmm.Did Lofey knew you had him?"
" I don't know.I assumed he knew, since the child was found near casket of ancient winters and I had taken the casket.But Laufey mentioned only the casket during negotiations.So we assumed he didn't care about his own son.It was expected from those monsters after all!"
" You said, we assumed.Who are others in this 'we'?"
" Tyr and his men had found the infant.So they knew.I had them sworn to secracy"
" Oh" Thor didn't know what to say.That explained why Tyr's troops hated Loki.He was a ignorant fool, as his brother would say.And he was not liking it now that he was seeing true faces of people.
" You worry for him" Odin observed.
" Somebody has to "
" Loki is good in administration.He took care of your duties when you were out drinking or gallivanting.I know for a fact that he had helped poorer population and orphans of men who had died in service. He also had forced me take them in services suitable for their skills. Find those who he took under his wing and you will find loyal guards"
Thor gaped... It was surprisingly unsurprising!
Of course Loki would help needy people , and of course his father knew about it.
" I thank you father! " he said finally.
'" Listen my son, kingdoms are not ruled with emotions. If you don't heed my words, I fear you will regret"
" I will think about it,father.But I will not throw Loki to be picked upon by people.," (As you did) , was left unsaid. ," I will protect him, as is my duty" Odin nodded.
They finished the meeting on good note. Thor was happy for that.But he needed to think, for he knew his father was clever, he could have used his words to turn Thor in his desired direction.So Thor would sit and think about every word exchanged between them and then decide his strategy.
_@_@_@_@
Thor went to his study.He needed time to think and calm down.Loki could be very perceptive, and he did not want to disclose his talk with Odin.It would only serve to disturb his brother more. Loki was already plenty disturbed.He seemed lost, distant and avoided physical contact with Thor, though very subtally.He had stopped going out even for dinners and library, he slept before Thor came back to their bed. Sometimes Thor could see that he is feigning sleep and if Thor tried to hug him he would tense before forcing his body to relax. Whatever it was, it had started from the wretched day when Orwar attacked.So it was either connected to Orwar or to the nightmare that night.Whichever was it, Thor needed to talk with him and soon. Thor sighed.At these moments he really wished for his mother was here.She usually knew what to do. Oh, what he would give to go back in time when everything was simpler.
He got some paperwork done. Asked for a report from steward about the einjenhars trained and appointed on Loki's wishes.He also asked for a list of families and persons who were under Loki's protection for any duration of time. By tomorrow he will have a legion of Loyal guards in palace.
He was lost in thoughts,when guard disturbed him telling that Loki's servant Nanna wishes for audience.
' Strange! ' he thought, ' Nanna usually waits for me at his chambers to talk.Must be important' So he called for her.Nanna entered and bowed.She was clearly nervous.
" Nanna, you know you don't need to be afraid to speak your mind with me" He assured.
" My king, I have a request" ,she shuffled her weight on her feet, wringing her hands.
" A request you could not make in front of Loki, I am listening!"
" Thor, I want you to keep the ring on him at all times,even at night" Thor frowned.In the past he would have brought his rage on her for such cruel interference in his personal matters. But this was Nanna, she will never think ill for Loki. So he asked,
" Why? Please explain"
" I found him with a dagger today.He was trying to cut his wrist, I think" ,Thor paled. " I snatched the weapon from him and I..I am sorry my king, but he was too lost in thoughts I had to slap him.I have heard him muttering curses to you. Apparantly, you have ordered his seidr to protect himself from anyone and the spell is preventing him to hurt himself. I have calmed him down and He is resting now. " She looked at Thor's anguished face and added, " But I suspect he will try again when you remove the ring."
" But why would he..? I know he is disturbed by something but to this...Do you know why he did this?"
" I have heard him, muttering words like monster and he kept saying,.'He was right, Thor would see... he will know' I tried to ask him but he was very distressed, my king" Nanna tried to explain. And suddenly it all became clear. He remembered the words Orwar had said to Loki.The maids had given detailed account of their exchange.He had dismissed that as druncard's blabbering, but Loki have taken them to heart. Of course, Loki had always been sensetive, Someone speaking about his heritage like that... He was going to get insecure. Thor laughed with relief.At last, he had found the problem, now he just needed to talk to Loki and assure him.He called an einjenhar in and asked him to bring proceedings and statements of Orwar Valson's trial.
He was going to go prepared.
" How are you my king?" ,Nanna asked.
" I am fine, Nanna.Why do you ask?"
" Because, I can see you have been burdened with too many things. The kingship, caring for Loki's health, Aesir being foolish as usual...it must be too much to shoulder at such young age" Her eyes brimming with worry.
" It is. But I know its worth it.I love Loki and I love Asgard.So I have to do this. If anything, I am happy to have Loki by my side.He is amazing advisor!"
" Hmm.That is true. " She came forward and touched his arm, " I know your mother would be proud of you, child. I know I am.But I also worry for you."
Thor smiled.Her words were same as Odin said but yet he believed her more.