Chapter 14
Loki was lost in his thoughts l when Thor came back. He had not visited library or any other place since four days. Since Orwar reminded him what he was. He knew palace will be brimming with rumours about the incidence and trial that followed.He knew for sure, who will be taking the blame in Aesir's opinion. He thought if he was born to be a scapegoat,and snorted. Maybe he wasn't totally useless.Odin had surely used him to place the blame of every bad thing that happened.
He startled when Thor came behind him and hugged him.Carefully adjusting his face, with a smile in place he turned.But instead of melting in strong arms, he put his hands on the broad chest, as if to push or to keep the distance .He looked in Thor's eyes, finding a hurt frown.
" Go, wash Thor, you stink."
" We need to talk"It never ends well, with that phrase, but Loki for all his mastery over speech, could not find any excuse to dodge the conversation.So he asked,
" About what?"
" About us"
" Thor..."
" I want to know what is troubling you,love?"
" It's nothing"
" I know I am not as perceptive as I should be, But even I can see that you are distant with me"
" I am not"
" Then why are you pushing me away right to now?" Loki dropped his hands from the king's chest saying,
"Oh.."
" Oh exactly.Love I thought we are passed the stage of awkwardness and we can share anything. Can't you tell me what's on your mind?"
Loki turned away and sat on bed , pulled his knees up and hugged his legs. Thor was not sure how l to bring the subject.. when he was suddenly asked,
" Why do you Love me?"
" What?" Thor was baffled. Loki looked up through his lashes, crimson blush dusting his cheeks,
" What is there to love,in me... when everyone else hates me?"
" Ah,You want me to complement you, I can do that. The way you are looking at me now, the way your nose crinkle when you are annoyed , the way your nostrils flare along with the crinkled nose when you are disgusted.. How the dimples appear only when you smile genuinely, The way your eyebrows frown when you are thoughtful or confused.Your every expression is adorable ,love.Thats why I love you " Loki was blushing furiously now., " Loki, you are most graceful, perceptive person I have ever met with.You are fierce in your love and loyalty, thats why you hurt so much when you are betrayed.Everybody knows you are intelligent, but that intelligence comes with a unique brand of humour.Your mischiefs were either answer to injustice or call for attention you deserved. I always knew you planned in multiple layers, but never in my dreams I could think that you will hurt me, truely hurt me." Loki was gaping like a fish now. When did the oaf had started thinking?
" Yet I did hurt you" ,he said finally.
" No you didn't.I am talking about your intentions here..."
" You don't understand Thor, I will hurt you.I am not capable of doing good.I am a monster ..."
" No,.you are not.You are my brother."
" No I am not. What you see is just a mask of pale white skin so that people will not be scared or disgusted with what I really am!"
" I don't think so .Its you, just in different form! " Thor was prepared for the outburst. " And I love you" ,he added calmly.
" You don't.You are saying this to make me feel good. But you will be disgusted, when you see me, the real me!"
" Then we just have to find out, won't we?"
" What?"
"I want to see you in Jotun form.."He could not complete the request before Loki interrupted,
" No no no no Thor, you can't see me like that, you will hate me and throw me back in prison.Oh god, you're the prince,
you slay the monster... you will be disgusted and you will hate me or or maybe you will give me to army like Orwar said... Please, Thor don't do that.Just kill me..." He was so lost that he didn't realise Thor was talking in until Thor boomed,
" Stop talking Loki, and listen to me" The command took effect immediately clicking Loki's mouth shut. He still pleaded with his wide eyes,tears falling freely.
"Love, you were too distressed, so I had to force you to listen.I think you are afraid of my reaction to your other form.Do you remember what mother used to tell us about fear?Tell me"
" Face it?"
" Yes.So if you are to overcome this fear, you have to show me... "
" No please, I can't.." Loki whispered.
" Loki, show me your jotun form" Thor commanded.Loki closed his eyes in defeat... the enchantment tingled as his body washed in blue...He opened his eyes to see Thor flinching in shock and then schooling his features.
"Oh..." ,was all Thor could say.Loki was blue, but not as dark as other frost giants he had seen. He was paler powder blue.It felt right because his aesir form was also too pale. His body structure, features remained same but faint ridges of heritage lines appeared on his forehead, the lines going around his head through hair then running down intricately on his throat. and getting lost in his clothes.
Thor's hand moved to touch, but stopped. hesitant he asked,
" May I?"
" Don't be stupid Thor, you will burn your hand.How will you explain frostbite to your sword-hand?" Thor moved back, baffled...
" Tell me you are jesting love!"
" Why would I? You forced me to show my disgusting form..I am but warning you"
" Loki, Jotun's touch cause frostbite only when they are threatened or in battle.Its your protective mechanism. You can choose if you want to burn or not." Ruby red eyes widened.
" How do you know, I am the jotun here!" Loki sniffed.
" I know because I have been reading about jotuns" ,Loki did not contain the derisive snort in answer.
" I know you think me a fool, maybe I am...but when I lost you to Abyss that day, I hounded father for the reason of your outburst.Mother was in no condition to talk after loosing you.So he had to tell me about your heritage..and your reaction to the discovery. I missed you so much.I started spending time in library, to get closer to you.It was your favourite place afterall. I started reading to pass time. There I found every book on Jotunheim and read it.. in search of some connection to you! I can't loose you again love, I will not survive it."
He let tear flow down on his cheek.Loki sat there dumbfounded.Never had he seen Thor crying...not even for their lost mother.But here he was, All broad chested big muscled... with power to crush planets under his foot, spilling tears in fear of loosing a pathetic runt of Jotun race who was discarded by his own father... both of them. Oh the irony!
"If what you say is truth, why don't we find your hand burns or not?" He asked curtly. Thor understood the invitation for what it was and trailed the markings on his forhead with light finger .Loki released the breath he didn't knew he had been holding.
The finger went in his hair tracing a ridge lost in dark hair.Then he lost it pushing his whole hand in back of Loki's head. He held his lovers head in place, blue eyes enchanted by flames of red in jotun's eyes.He closed the distance and touched his lips to the corner of Loki's mouth, as if in asking... Loki answered with turning in and joining the kiss fervently. Soon He was gapsping in Thor's mouth as a touch starved man. When Thor broke the kiss, he looked disappointed, black hair unruly, red pupils blown almost to Black color and deep purple blush spreading on cheeks.Thor stared mesmerized at his beautiful blue brother.
" Loki, you look..."
" Don't!" Loki was not ready to hear Thor lie for his sake.
" All right. Can I see more?" Thor didn't push.When Loki's eyebrows rose in question he asked again,
"I would like to see your body in this form," seeing his brothers eminent denial, he addeld," Please Loki. I will not force you again. But show me.I promise I will not do anything else to hurt you" He was about to spill more promises, when with a sudden flash Loki's clothes disappeared. He layed there, tense and naked as a feast served before him. Thor trailed three faint markings coming from back of his neck to his chest with both hands.The Six lines met in the middle of Loki's chest to separate again and travelled to his back over the lower ribs as if lining his chest apart from his abdomen. Thors fingers stopped at his waist where the lines disappeared behind in lower back of Loki's body. He pushed his hands behind the thin waist, as if to pick him up to raise his lovers hips.He felt tremor running through the body below him and looked up to the Jotun face.Loki was gazing through long lashes as to anticipate his next move. Thor was surprised when he found Loki looked as desirable as he was in aesir form. In truth, Loki looked like most exquisite being on face of Asgard.He touched his lips to sensetive skin of the blue navel, it was soft and pleasantly cool.He felt the blue body shudder as his tongue pushed in cutest belly button he had seen.
" Thor what are you doing?" Loki whimpered.Thor moved back and put his lips around the tip of cool tip of dark blue penis. Loki gasped and sat up abruptly.Thor took the shaft in his mouth.
" No" Loki tried to push him back.Thor moved back releasing him. Seeing the king's confused face Loki added,
" We can't do this Thor, not like this"
" Why love, why do you say so?"
" Look at me Thor, Open your eyes and see me. You are the king of Asgard, You may love my Aesir glamour for norns know whatever reason but you can't love this....this abomination!" He indicated his body with his hands. Hearing his pained voice Thor took his face in both of his hands and pecked his forehead with all the love he could muster.
" But I do Loki, I do love you.." He wanted to say more, to tell him how much he loves him, how his every form makes him long to touch his love.But Loki's face was closed, guarded...He knew his words will not reach his brother now.
" Why?" Loki whispered.
" Because you are my Loki.. amazingly beautiful , cleverly mischievous and gracefully witty and kind and thoughtful and ..and you are you Loki..." Thor prayed whatever entity listened , to give him wise words.He remembered the ring was still in Loki's finger and promptly removed it.
" But you are the prince and prince slay the monster. They don't fornicate Thor" , his brother whined, clearly distressed.
" What are you talking about love?" Thor asked baffled by change in conversation.
" Do you remember the stories mother used to read us?" Loki moved to lie in Thor's lap.His body changed yo his pale white form...
" No Loki, why are you changing ?"
" Because I don't want to be disgusting monster "
" Listen well brother, you are no monster. You were born to a frost giant and raised by Aesir. So you are beautiful blue sometimes and flawless pale other times. You are different yes but by no means you can be called ugly or disgusting. You are the most beautiful frost giant I have ever seen" Loki looked away from his determined expression.
" Now tell me what were you saying about stories Mother read to us?"
" Ah. Do you remember they always narrated valiant adventures of a prince"
"Yes.We used to enact to stories and be the mighty hero playing battle and adventures! " Thor said excited.
" You loved that,yes. The prince used to be strong ,mighty golden hair prince well versed with weapons just like you.He was ideal Prince by Aesir standards , just like you.He always slayed the monster in the end of story. " Thor didn't know where this was going so he listened as Loki continued in detached voice,
" I tried but could never relate to hero of the stories.Hero never had magic.He never faught with tricks. He was too much like you ... Now I know. I was never meant to be hero. I was the monster, that was slain in the end." Thor's face contorted in anguish.He said at last,
" Norns Loki, I don't know what to say. How to convince you that you are not monster.I know,I have foolishly insulted your blood in my ignorance.I don't have enough words to change your mind. But I can show you, if you allow me"
Loki looked at him questioning eyes.So he said,
" Will you change into your Jotun form love, for me?" To his relief Loki's thoughtful face turned blue after a moment. He lost no time and started kissing his confused brother. As he felt needy moans escaping from Loki's throat, he moved his attention to long blue neck and started kissing every inch of blue flesh he could.
Loki was almost begging with desire when he finally gave in and entered his lover's body .He made love to Loki as a
promise and worshipped his blue body as a prayer.
"