Hi, my name is Tweek Tweak and I'm an addict

"Hi."

"Hi." Tweek pushes the word out of his throat, trying to not appear as wrecked and embarrassed as he is, but his voice must be a flashy hint.

He didn't think he would meet Craig first thing in the morning—that they would stare at each other like that. But there they are, Jimmy at their side, smiling at his phone and Kyle not saying any word. Maybe his sleep-deprived brain is imagining all of it. They seem to be the only two here but Tweek knows it’s not the case.

The awkwardness smothers them further as Tweek shoots a look at his friend; it’s weirder that Kyle hadn't talked yet. He always has something to say. Kyle doesn’t even meet his eyes, only stares at Craig who hasn't even greeted him.

Except that Tweek isn’t crazy - he got the greeting. Tweek Tweak wins the freaking monotone ‘hi’ and not Kyle, which must mean something. He is sure of that because he might have lost himself around Craig’s blank face too long, hence noticing that his dark irises don't look at Kyle enough to greet him too. So far, Tweek doesn’t think that his friend has any attraction for Craig - as understandable as it would be - but there is something fishy. Or it’s his jealousy.

Tweek isn’t jealous, though, because Tweek knows he has no right to even think about Craig’s romantic life. Before Tweek could do that he would need to not plan a ‘potential’ heist for a blue chullo hat. Completely hypothetical, of course. He is almost sure it’s a homemade hat because he never found one similar at shops. Though he wouldn’t buy it – that would be creepy.

Craig clears his throat as he slightly adjusts his hat with a hand. "Your nose looks better."

Tweek tries to not blush, hoping that his nose is still naturally a bit redder from the punch. "Hum, yeah," he replies with a careful touch on the bandage on it, "not the -ngh- first time I broke it. The pain doesn’t bother much after, er, once or twice."

Craig nods with pursed lips. Tweek knows that Kyle is staring to make either of them uncomfortable; one of his main skills besides bitching. Their talk is cut short either way. He feels bad about it but small talks are like that. Which sounds so bizarre and he is, most likely, having a hallucination rather than Craig Tucker actually attempting a meaningless chit-chat. Either way, Kyle is the one responsible for the awkward silence engulfing them.

Tweek already resents the last days. Particularly how he handled his last interaction with Craig especially since he never expected it. In the first place, why did he even stop on his road to see Tweek? The guy was supposed to bring pizza to his family, not checking in with the spazzy kid of South Park.

Anybody would have driven away — Tweek’s parents would have! With a pretty morale about building up strength because that coffee won’t be carried by itself! Now he has to live with this embarrassment for his whole life. Craig’s kindness doesn’t surprise him much but he thought it was more limited to close people.

Kyle nudges him and gestures to the classroom being opened by their teacher. She hurries them inside with a quick smile that doesn’t announce anything good. Tweek hopes he didn’t space-out right in front of Craig. His first reflex, once inside the classroom, is to bury his head in against his backpack and busy his mind. There is nothing he really needs to search for but he still rummages around until he hears the last chair scrap.

His tandem with Kyle always sits at one of the tables in the back – which Tweek always justified by being under the nose of their teacher would stress him out and neither want him to break anything. Tweek busies himself with his pens. It works until he looks up to watch Jimmy chatting happily with Craig, who even seems to be smiling by the slight lines next to his eyes. He forces himself to look away and starts a jenga with his pens.

Their teacher still shuffles around to prepare for today’s lesson, paper piles and chemicals brought upon her huge desk. He knows Kyle will listen to her instructions so he only continues his restless distraction. Kyle lets out one big annoying huff, clearing up the mood.

Tweek peers up to see nothing on the blackboard yet but his friend’s face is already frowning with some mysterious annoyance.

He tries to guess what is the big reason but he is distracted with another discovery when Kyle swats some of his bright curls falling before his eyes.

“You’re letting your hair grow?” Tweek asks.

Kyle never lets his hair look this close to an afro, which is the best term to currently describe it – a bad sign since Kyle’s hair is close to a bomb waiting to explode. Most people are used to seeing him styling his curly hair one day before walking in the next one with a short cut. Tweek prefers him with more volume but he could understand the annoyance with problematic hair.

“Why didn’t you cut your hair yet? Not that you look bad.” he adds, probably not going to convince Kyle with his last words.

“I’m going to do it this Sunday.”

Tweek frowns as he shrugs on his lab coat, which he copies once their teacher announces which experience they will do today. It’s a good turn of luck for him to share this class with Kyle. Kenny is cursed around chemicals and Stan isn’t bad but easily distracted, one of the reasons why he isn’t in that class with his now boyfriend.

He smiles as he recalls that Stan is also leaving on Sunday, which means that he is keeping his hair like that for Stan. The protection glasses are handed around by Leslie and he puts his on before turning to Kyle.

“Because Stan is leaving Sunday morning?”

Kyle frowns at him. “What?” He pushes his white coat to not sit on the end of it.

“That’s why you haven’t cut them yet!” Tweek proudly explains, feeling like he should tell that as soon as he can to Kenny. Kyle frowns and focuses on the chemicals being distributed by Leslie and Sandy around the room. “I’m right.” he beams.

“Shut up. I forgot to dry my hat yesterday after washing it.”

“And Stan likes it when you let your hair grow.” he muses before the chuckle he was holding back slips out at Kyle’s sharp elbow.

“Shut up,” he hisses but not enough for Tweek to lose his victorious grin, “I didn’t think about it before now.”

“I think that’s sweet.”

Closing his mouth at Kyle’s escalating glare, he turns to today’s materials and tries to not think too much about his friends’ relationship. It makes him happy though so he will definitely ask Stan about it in front of his other half.

“It’s the last day before the vacation so I know all of you would rather not be in class,” their teacher speaks up, glasses perfectly upon her nose before her amused eyes, “so I guess everyone here will agree that we should avoid accidents so that everyone can enjoy their break, right?”

Not everyone answers her kind words. Tweek doesn’t – he is trying to ignore Craig’s ass behind his white coat. He is one of the teens who needs a bigger coat because the sleeves don’t reach his wrists. Tweek wonders if their hands also have that big of a difference.

Kyle sort of sneers at his hair and nudges his head sharply to be free of curls. “Fucking hair.”

Tweek glances at his friend, already moving materials around to follow the instructions. His eyes fly over the paper before turning to his friend.

“Do you think I should cut my hair?”

“That’s a better idea than dying them black.” Kyle scoffs as he turns on the scale. “Why?”

“I don’t know, I just think I should.”

“Can you give me a test tube?” Tweek hands it, moving the whole set closer to Kyle. “Why do you want to change your hair so much suddenly?”

“I— you know, new year, new stuff.” He shrugs and only now properly reads the name of today’s experiment. “Plus my fringe is odd now.” Tweek doesn’t think too much of it but his bang apparently disagreed with his previous treatment and now stubbornly stands up like a spike.

“I look like a weird hedgehog,” he vents, “and I even think it’s worse than looking like a baby chick.”

Kenny always says so and no one disagrees with him except Tweek. It’s not a compliment, no matter how you look at it.

“It is worse.” Kyle muses after a quick look. “Do you want me to cut it?”

He opens his mouth to disagree but closes it at the prospect. It is definitely safer than shaking up to the ceiling at a hairdresser. People who can cut their own hair are supposedly even better at cutting other’s hair. Not that it matters. Tweek wants to try something and in the worst case he will wear one of the dumb caps his father made for the coffee shop when he works.

“Okay.”

Kyle leaves his experiment in surprise. “What? Really?”

“Yeah, why not?” he explains with a shrug, “I have no idea how I want to look though.”

“I didn’t think you would agree.” Kyle admits but they are cut by their teacher hurrying the class to concentrate on the experiment.

Tweek tries to focus, to not look too much at Craig who seems to still be in a good mood. It is sweet to see him snicker and smile big enough to attract Tweek like a moth.

“Do you think there are more people liking Christmas or hating it?”

He can’t remember if Craig is that fond of the event; it couldn’t be because of the break because Craig doesn’t smile that much even then. Maybe he just has something special planned for the vacation.

"Christmas is like herpes. It has to come once a year."

Tweek frowns at the bubbling tube test. He enjoys the spirit but is still relieved at the end of the songs and overjoyed mood. Though he might enjoy this year. No family, only his duck.

Kyle clears his throat. “Do you work tomorrow?”

“I’m not sure yet. I think I should before my parents chain me for the vacation at the shop.” He notices that Kyle has already written another answer, he quickly copies it. “Why?”

“Just asking.” Tweek stares because his tone is too dismissive. “Just— we’re going to the aquarium tomorrow before the concert.”

Tweek blinks before smiling. "Oh that’s so cool, it’s been years since I went there. I hope they have sharks.”

He almost laughs at Kyle’s surprised look before it morphes into a mix of guilt and flushed cheeks. “No, no— I meant, like, you know, Stan and me?” Tweek keeps on his innocent face, suddenly grateful for his acting skill, but he knows he will laugh at how Kyle’s voice is high-pitched later. “A date.” he whispers at the end and throws daggers at the chemicals.

A snort slips out, Tweek quickly returns to his sheet. “Yeah I guessed,” he admits without hiding his broad smirk. “I can try to make sure Kenny doesn’t crash your date.”

“Ah-ha, that was very funny.” Kyle retorts but his dirty look doesn't change Tweek’s good mood.

“Can you imagine how uncomfortable it would have been? Me and Kenny showing up for your date and-”

“I will make you drink the tube test Tweek, I swear,” he growls, making his friend break into a sharp laugh. “You’re such an ass.”

“But you like me.”

“I want to swat you right now so just try me, bitch.”

His smile doesn’t slip off. One good thing is coming up from his chaotic week.

“Isn’t that like your first official date? Or are we counting the years of pining when you two made secret hang-outs so Kenny and I aren’t here?”

“I fucking regret telling you.”

Tweek chuckles at his red face. “Aw, come on.”

He reaches out to poke Kyle’s side but innocently changes his mind at his warning glare.

“I fucking regret even talking to you.”

“I’m really happy for you two, you know.” Kyle wears his burning grumpy frown even though Tweek’s tone is completely nice. “And Kenny wouldn’t really crash your date or anything. I mean he planned to get you two drunk and married after highschool.”

“What? He can’t do that.”

“He can. I helped him print his ministry certificate.” Tweek explains.

They exchange a look before they both return to their sheet – Kyle with a scoff.

He only glances three times at Craig. His hair is catching that rare ray of sunshine it needs to shine.

“Do you have tips to really relax?”

With one hesitating glance, Tweek turns to his friend. "What?"

"What do you do when you know you will stress out?"

Tweek is a bit speechless.

“Depends. I busy myself with stuff, listen to music,” he tries to come up with ideas. “Breaking stuff, maybe. Why? Are you stressed about your date?”

Kyle rolls his eyes which is as good as a fuck you. Tweek stares until Kyle sighes and brushes two hands through his hair. His curls stand up for a second before bouncing back in place when he turns around to face him. Tweek hesitates before he follows the gesture. Their knees knock and both shift in their seats. He isn’t sure they have even finished their experiment yet.

“It’s not that, but I can’t tell you if you don’t promise me not to tell anyone.”

Tweek doesn’t like secrets. He already has to deal with his hidden fantasies everytime Craig looks in his direction - it isn’t that easy to not ogle.

“To anyone? Like — who knows?”

“Nobody. You can’t even tell Kenny. No one.”

That doesn’t sound good. If it is a secret within the group it could mean only bad things. Either a fight or just predispositions for worse – like an extermination.

“I don’t think I can hide it from Kenny. I mean — he knows me.” he awkwardly points out, without figuring out why it bothers and pleases him.

“He won’t keep his mouth shut.”

“Oh God, what is it? It’s bad?”

Kyle shoots him a look before glancing around. “Just embarrassing.” he mumbles as he rubs his eyes. “He will bring more trouble than help.”

“And I can?” He pips out.

“Yeah, and you are the only one I can think of who would seriously keep the secret.”

“I don’t want to-”

“Tweek, please.” His friend cuts with enough confidence that made Tweek want to flee. “If Stan learns that I told you this, he will kill me but I need your help. Kenny wouldn’t miss the chance to mock us.”

“Oh my God—” Tweek blinks as his tone rises. “Is Stan really a furry?”

“What?! No!”

“What the fuck is this about then?!” He shrieks back.

“Tweak, Broflovski!” Their teacher cuts and Kyle shoots a dirty look at Tweek’s sheepish smile. “I’m not letting you out of this classroom if you haven’t finished, keep the gossip for lunch.”

“Sorry.” Tweek mumbles, meeting Craig’s gaze before he is turned around to face Kyle.

“Promise.”

“Wha- no!” He hisses at the threat. Kyle frowns while he tries to come up with what kind of secret it might be for him to be the best option. Especially when it sounds to be about Stan. “Is it about the stress thing?”

Kyle stares, probably trying to use telepathy to convey his frustration but he surprisingly breaks it by himself. One hand over his eyes doesn’t hide the beating embarrassment.

“Yeah — look, if I didn’t think that it’s my best idea I wouldn’t even think to talk about it. But I have no idea what to do.”

“Something is wrong between you and Stan?”

“No.” Kyle scoffs like Tweek just told him the sky isn’t blue. “We… Everything is great, like really great,” he continues with cheeks rapidly blushing. Unlike Tweek, he doesn’t even shift on his seat. “He slept at my place last night.”

“Your mom let you have a sleepover on a school night?”

He quietly shakes his head. “Can’t say no if we don’t ask. We just wanted to talk after we all went out last night.”

“Okay, and? He said something?”

He doesn’t understand what could have happened for Kyle to ask how to relax. Unless he plans to propose – which doesn’t sound that crazy the more he thinks about it. Kenny could clear up whether or not Tweek really saw or dreamt of that time where Stan and Kyle drunk proposed to each other last year.

“Well, nothing important.” Kyle says with a shrug. “We made out.”

Tweek blinks and Kyle blushes further, squirming on his seat.

“And? I know you guys do that.”

“Yeah…” he breathes out with a pointed look that doesn’t help Tweek.

“What?”

“You know.” Kyle grits his teeth with a small jerk of head.

“I don’t.” Tweek retorts with a confused frown, “I don’t know what you are talking about.”

“Oh my God.” Kyle hides his face in his hands, rubbing his eyes like he is considering blinding them. Even his hands are blushing as he mumbles something that he can’t understand.

“What?”

“Fourth base!” Kyle dutifully hisses.

Tweek hears the chatter of their teacher with one table before he registers what he just said. “Oh.” Kyle glares at the floor, readjusting the protection glasses on his nose once it slips a bit. “Congrats for losing your virginity?” He tries.

“What? No!”

“You two! Keep quiet!”

Kyle glances at their teacher before sighing with tight teeth. “We tried to.”

“Ah.” Tweek blinks. He isn’t sure yet what he is supposed to help with yet. “I see. Hum — too stressed?”

“I can’t believe this.” he whines out with tight shut eyes.

He tries to offer a sympathetic smile but can only picture his friends trying to have sex and how it could turn bad.

“And what? I mean, uh, so, like what a -ngh- time to stress, uh?” Luckily Kyle’s glare helps Tweek to shut his mouth before blabbering.

“Stan threw up.”

Tweek stares at him and with a dry swallow he finds his voice. “He threw up?” Kyle sharply nods once. “Stan threw up?” Tweek continues because he is sure that if he stops talking he will laugh. “Stan threw up when you guys were having sex?”

“He did before we even touched,” he grumbles back with a tight jaw. “I-I… just when I got naked.”

It happens too fast and rash for Tweek.
Tweek believes he is the one who will throw up by the strength of it. His laugh erupts from a part of his body he was never even aware of. He tries to choke it against the table but even the hit doesn’t quiet him down – instead he tears up and leans back almost enough to fall from his chair. It scrapes loudly but he balances back as mirth shines at the corner of his eyes.

“Tweak! What’s happening, Broflovski?”

“Nothing.” Kyle tightly answers. His hand strongly grips on Tweek’s shoulder. It isn’t enough to stop him from laughing or to stop his breath from being runny. “He is having a hysterical crisis.”

“What?” Their teacher walks up and Tweek struggles to inhale because of the tinkling in his throat. “Are you alright? Did you breathe the chemicals?"

He shakes his head but quickly dips it as he feels his eyes still water up. Tweek has no idea how he is going to stop giggling.

“He is fine.” Kyle says.

“You can go out to calm down.”

“No, no, it will pass.” Kyle’s hand tightens a notch, enough for Tweek to gasp in pain and take a proper breath. He remembers that he’s wearing protective glasses when he tries to wipe his eyes. “Shut the fuck up.” Kyle hisses next to his ear.

Tweek understands the warning but still has the picture of Stan throwing up in Kyle’s room between their makeout. He chortles for a second.

“Sorry.” he manages to gasp but goes back to giggling and brushing his tears off.

“Next time you two are out.” She shoots them a suspicious look before turning around. “Alright everyone, back to work.”

Tweek only realizes now that most of the class is looking at them. Craig is also staring. He panics, almost falling when he spins in his chair to face Kyle. His hands shakily wipe up one lost tear but it doesn’t help his breathing problem. Kyle’s death stare doesn’t calm him down.

"Sorry." Tweek gasps but that only brings up another chuckle. "It's just-" his throat feels heavy at his attempt to clear his throat, "I didn't think that would be possible."

"Like that makes me feel better.” he snaps back with a disbelieving glare.

This time, his throat works and he is almost certain his mirth died down. "He stressed and threw up — I'm not mocking!" he blurts out, not feeling his cheeks anymore.

"You're still red from laughing." Kyle sneers. Tweek tries to smile but just the subject makes his lips twitch too far. "I shouldn't have fucking told you."

"I didn't mean to." Tweek insists. "Look, I don't know how to help." It isn't a complete lie; if he learnt anything from the many stress dealing books, it's that there is no universal solution. Tweek has tried enough stuff to know. "I was stressed too," he admits, "but I mean — I think I was too in the mood to overthink so it helped."

He glances at their experiment, checking for a second what their teacher is doing before realizing that Kyle is staring at him.

One blond eyebrow twitches at the odd look on Kyle.

"You were stressed?" He slowly articulates, eyes only squinting with suspicion.

"Yeah?" Upon feeling only incomprehension, Tweek shrugs. "It’s normal to be stressed for the first time. And Stan is kinda smitten with you, you got naked and his brain exploded." he offers with a furious bite on his smile and on the chuckle that tries to echo at the naked situation. Kyle's eyes only widen which confuses him. "What?"

"First time?" Tweek blinks, remembering only now what he said. "You had sex?"

"Wha-no-"

"With who?" Kyle jumps and before Tweek could walk out, he is pushed down on his seat. "When? And who the fuck did you have sex with?" Tweek flushes and glances around to see their teacher grabbing paper at her desk. "Tweek!"

"I didn't!"

Kyle scoffs. "Yeah right, you are lying. Is it someone we know? Did you fucking date without telling us?”

“I don’t have to tell you everything I do.” Tweek scoffs but quickly gasps at sharp nails in his arm. “It’s not that important!”

“Of course it is! Why don’t you want to just say it? It’s someone I know, right? Oh my God, it’s Cartman?! Tell me it’s not!”

“No! Are you insane?!” Tweek hisses. Kyle stares at him with a wary look before checking on their teacher. “I’m only telling you if you keep it to yourself-”

“Okay, tell me.”

His lips purse at his quick response; there doesn’t seem to be another option, he can only sigh and try to be the quietest possible.

“With Kenny.”

Tweek has expected Kyle to scream or jump, maybe tell that it’s a lie. The blank look works too. Kyle mutedly moves his lips before they close. He takes a deep breath.

“You — had sex with Kenny? Our Kenny?”

“Yeah.” There is an odd noise from Kyle’s throat, something that must have been an odd knot trying to pass. “Last summer, a bit before school.” he admits with the poor attempt to quickly close that subject, doing so by grabbing the materials uselessly.

“You had sex with Kenny since this summer?!”

“No!” Tweek barks back, fighting the sudden grip on his shoulder. “Just-” The hand drags him to face an inquisitive frown and completely misses the person, standing in front of their desk, sliding two papers in front of them.

Kyle notices it too but both know that’s probably too late to change the subject. Leslie stares at them with a small smile.

"Here you go.”

Tweek is too scared of her next words to even glance at the sheets. She only leaves with her pure simper widening a bit.

“Do you think she heard?” He jumps, grabbing on Kyle’s forearms to not deal with this alone.

“Maybe not?” Kyle says but Tweek couldn’t be one second pessimistic because he continued. “Why did you have sex? And with Kenny! Do you like him?”

“No, not like that.”

Kyle frowns. “Were you two drunk?”

He shakes his head. “I just, you know, wanted -ngh- to do it.” Tweek explains. “It's not like I had any other option.”

“And he said yes?”

“Yeah.”

Both fall quiet, probably too awkward to try anything else. It isn’t even a secret. Kenny and him hadn’t really decided to tell their friends but also planned to hide it. There isn’t a real way to bring that up anyway – Tweek isn’t in the wrong to only reveal it months later.

“I can’t imagine it.”

Tweek flushes. “Then don’t! I’m not picturing you and Stan having sex either!” Kyle throws him a glare and turns to face their new sheets. Tweek scratches his hand, feeling a bit meaner than he meant too. “I wasn’t drunk but — I didn’t stress a lot.”

Frankly, he tries to not think much about it. Not that he is shameful or regrets it.

“Kenny did something special?” Kyle mumbles out with a shared embarrassment that pushes Tweek to look at his sheet.

“Didn’t ask about it.” He takes a breath and stares at the red spot blooming on the back of his hand; it doesn’t stop his scratching. “I showed up and-and we just did it.” Kyle’s quietness conjures an uncomfortable chill. “I didn’t want to be a virgin anymore.”

Kyle scoffs. It is close enough to the truth for Tweek to feel comfortable.

"Well that doesn't help me." he grumbles and Tweek believes he heard something like 'secret affair'.

"But, well, I mean, Stan's stomach was always unexpected but he always throws up when he sees someone he really really likes so-"

"It's not that."

Tweek quiets down when he notices Kyle dragging the palm of his hands in his eyes back and forth.

"Then… it's the stress, that’s normal. I thought I would be too."

"Then why weren't you?" Kyle snaps.

"I—"

Tweek shrugs. He must have been too focused on not being a virgin anymore. Hyperfixation sometimes helps – a great punishment too as Tweek had pictured Craig having sex minutes before he went to Kenny.

"It's not a big deal anyway." Kyle rants, slamming stationary in his pencil case and almost spilling their experiment. He rashly grabs the test tube to stabilize it. "I get it. It happens. Of fucking course."

"What? What are you talking about?"

"I'm not hot." he grits through his teeth.

Tweek is certain he would crack one by the tension in his jaw. He blinks back when the words make sense.

"Wha—? Kyle, are you crazy? It doesn't make sense."

Tweek knows for a fact that there are people who think he is good looking. Even Craig, apparently, because he is staring at them again.

"It always happens."

He focuses back on Kyle, struggling to come up with words, and leans closer with the hope to offer comfort. His hand tries to soothe Kyle’s tense back.

"Hey, hey, Stan is like drooling behind you — trust me. All the school would agree too."

"It always fucks up. I kissed Nichole and she realized she wasn't into sex-"

"That was two years ago!" Tweek cuts. "It's not because you kissed her that she realized that!"

"Huh — yeah, it is."

"Kyle," he insists and grabs his hand to get his attention. They only end up holding each other fists. "Stan didn't throw up because he thought you were ugly. Knowing him, it's definitely the opposite."

Kyle only groans, fighting for his hand. “Let me go.”

"Come on, Stan didn't say that, right? You're just freaking out and you probably didn’t sleep much from what I heard." Tweek argues with that confidence that only comes when someone else is panicking and not him. "I'm pretty sure you made out enough times to know he is attracted to you – and with Davìd it went really well, right? See?”

“Shut up.”

Tweek pauses to decide not to push more since he is convinced that Kyle wouldn’t even listen much. Although Stan probably will catch on to Kyle's mood, that’s one thing he masters and it will hopefully help.

It all comes up in a rush. Every student rushes out of the door, as expected from the last day before the break. At, probably, both of their relief – Tweek leaves for his locker. He hadn’t stopped at it in the morning because he had been a bit late. Today is a big day since he slept more than five hours; probably around five hours and twelve minutes. It might be because he barely slept much the whole week. Plus he got something else than the usual quiet, or nonexistent, meeting with Craig at the lockers.

Tweek doesn’t jump when he spots him at his destination. As much as it sucks, his last name has a bit of benefits since it gave him a locker right next to Tucker. It doesn’t help much. But at least they say hello and it is a good spot to hear when the rest of his gang chats with Craig. Not that Tweek eavesdrops – never – but it’s not like he can change his locker either.

He is about to open his mouth before realizing that they had already greeted each other. So technically, Tweek could only stare and miss his lock by enough to bump his hand against the locker. Craig glances at him from behind his own. Tweek easily sees that he seems less cheerful than before, if his somewhat frowned eyebrows are anything to go by.

Tweek’s smile didn’t smoothe his mood, which probably makes sense considering that his face isn’t really cheer-up material. But at least Craig has the gesture to return it a split second before going back into his locker.

"Boop."

Tweek startles at the hips bumping against his ass, quickly turning around to see Kenny. Even with the mask covering his nose and mouth - he can recognize the smirk by his eyes.

“Hey, you look happy.” Tweek comments with a smile.

“I’m high on coffee, and hope to also get my daily favorite dose from you.”

Tweek snorts at the flirt and opens his locker. Craig smashes his own close, startling Tweek who barely saw his face before Craig walks away.

“Woah, what crawled up your ass, Tucker?” Kenny calls and Tweek quickly elbows him.

“Don’t be like that. Something must have happened to him because he was fine in class.”

“Meh, whatever,” he dismisses and places his head against Tweek’s shoulder while he looks for the right book. “I have a big shift tonight.”

“It’s the last day of school, you can skip. I will give you the homework.”

“Nah, I’m okay.” Tweek disagrees but focuses on filling his bag with the books for the day. “I went looking for you because it was too awkward.”

“What was?”

“Stan and Kyle, they were tip-toeing around each other. I’m not sure if they want to really make out or just have something up their asses.“

“Definitely the first option,” Tweek answers with an attempt to be nonchalant. Kenny just hums and snuggles his head until he closes his locker. “Sometimes I think I should wear a mask too. I already saw like ten people coughing this morning. Half don’t know how to be civilized.”

“If you want, I have some spare. Just not the ones Karen did with me.” Tweek wouldn’t dare wearing cute masks like Kenny; it probably wouldn’t look good on him contrary to Kenny.

“You can come by and I will lend you some.”

“Okay, yeah, thanks.” Tweek isn’t a hypochondriac but if it was more natural to wear masks he would. It’s better to be safe than sorry. Tweek checks for his bag to be properly closed before glancing at Kenny who is frowning at him. “What?”

“I didn’t say anything.”

He frowns back. “You’re the one staring at me.”

“Why did you change the subject so quickly?” Kenny asks.

“I didn’t.”

“You did — you did when I told you how our two dumbasses acted,” he explains, returning the suspicious look, “you immediately talked about my mask.”

“Obviously! It’s right in front of me.” Tweek argues, anxiously checking if he correctly locked his locker. He turns to walk toward his classroom.

“No, no, what are you hiding?”

Kenny doesn’t let any step separate them. He is going to be his shadow for the rest of the day, until Tweek can’t deal with the oppressive stare.

“Nothing!”

“Come on, share the gossip. It’s about Kyle and Stan?”

“I don’t know anything, Kenny. Stop.”

“I’m not leaving you alone until I know, Tweeker,” he states with a pronounced taunt, “you know me.”

“If you know me you know I will kick your ass if you call me that again.”

Tweek doesn’t even know why he is surprised; he puts that on the too-much-sleep he got. His phone doesn’t have a break for hours. Kenny is spamming him with questions that would make him laugh if Tweek isn’t actually hiding a secret. Nevertheless, he is certain that Kenny would be a better help for Kyle than him. If his words even helped.

His anxiety neither increases or diminishes thanks to Kenny's insistence. Class distracts him enough, maybe the whole course is actually interesting but he can’t put his mind into it. Tolkien and Heidi have noticed his unresting phone. They stay quiet, probably out of politeness. At first, Tweek thinks they are quiet because of his behavior over the last days. Tolkien greets him with a warm smile and Heidi shares her break’s plan.

Tweek studies Heidi’s multiple earrings. Most of them are flowers, like the two side by side on one of her helix, shiny crystal-like petals. If he remembers well, Heidi started by getting another pair of earrings before travelling up around her ears. He read that some piercings can give some weird skin blob and that stopped Tweek from trying. Though if Heidi has seven piercings then it might not be as risky - some rumors hint that she has more. She pierces herself, with the right equipment she promises, and also did it for most of her friends too, like Bebe and Annie.

Before Tweek goes to his next class, he tries to apologize for his previous rudeness. But outside from a pointed look to his odd hair bang, they both tell him that’s alright. Tolkien even softly claps a hand on his shoulder and tells how they can meet up during the break to play music. Tweek knows that since he already told him about it.

Kenny stares at him during history class. Stan probably thinks they are just messing around. It is a relief to know Kyle really hasn’t said anything about Tweek and Kenny’s summer adventure. There isn’t a lot to worry about, except that a weird instinct tells him that it will explode in his face. Now that he thinks about it – he believes Kenny tried to kiss Butters when Tweek showed up with his request for simple sex. Weirdly good timing if he is right.

Now he has to ignore Kenny’s eyes while they are eating lunch. Tweek already missed his mouth once by glancing – while Kenny just mastered the skill to not look where he put his fork years ago.

“Why are you staring like that?”

“He knows something he won’t tell me.”

Tweek shoots a look at Kenny who only smirks back.

“What is it?” Bebe asks.

“Nothing, he is just stupid.” he answers before Kenny can.

Annie smiles with another bite of her lunch. “You guys are cute,” she comments. “I get why.”

“Why what?”

Tweek shouldn’t have agreed to eat lunch with them. Bebe always turns their supposed friendly meeting into an obligatory reunion. Sadly, from what he can see, his best option is to stay at this table. Cartman already tried to crash Kyle and Stan’s lunch ‘date’ and he almost ate the redhead's tray up his ass.

“I get why the asian culture club ships you two so much.”

“What!?” Tweek glares at the laughing Kenny, punching him on the side. “Don’t laugh, asshole! You are a part of it, you should stop them.”

“Woah, hey, I can’t stop these forces of nature.” Kenny argues with raised hands. “The cosmos is already angry at me, I don’t need any more bad karma.”

“Nerd.” Annie smiles.

“That’s not funny! I don’t like the idea of people imagining things with me.”

Tweek’s soul tries to jump out of his skin when a breath brushes his ear.

“Tell me their secret.”

“Oh my God-” he quickly pushes his face away. “Stop!”

“Who is it about?”

“There is no secret!”

“I think it’s about Stan and Kyle-”

“No!”

“That they are dating?” Bebe asks, tying her curly hair up into a huge bun.

Annie gasps. “They are?”

“What? No-”

“How do you know?” Kenny cuts – completely ignoring Tweek’s elbow trying to pierce his stomach.

Bebe grimaces after one look at the two of them sweetly eye-fucking over a bad gratin. “Stan looks disgustingly happy.”

Annie snorts and opens her yogurt. “How is that disgusting?”

“Because Stan is.”

“Why do you hold a grudge against him?” Tweek asks, feverishly wishing that Kenny will forget about him.

“I don’t hold grudges,” she says. “I just don’t want to share the same air with him.”

“We think it’s because they both had a major crush on two same persons,” Annie whispers with a rare wicked smile.

Bebe frowns but doesn't pronounce anything else.

“We?” Tweek peers up.

“Girl’s club.”

“Hey, shut up, I vetoed that result.”

Annie scoffs. “Because it’s true.”

Kenny laughs quite loudly, Annie minds her volume, and Bebe takes her phone out with an angry grimace. It must have been why Tweek noticed several people staring at their table. He is prepared to hold their gazes but they quickly walk away.

“Anyway — Red told me she and Kevin are ditching the ski trip, what about you two?”

“How are they ditching?”

“They didn’t give the money, instead they are going somewhere together. Maybe crash at someone's place. You know how Red’s dad is scared of boys, he wouldn’t have let them go together alone.”

“But Garrison could call him when he sees they aren’t on the trip, right?” Tweek asks with a frown. He can picture how tempting their plan is but he isn’t sure it’s worth the trouble.

“He already wants to kill Kevin so what would that change?” Bebe snorts with a shrug. “And he is one of the most decent guys here.”

“Garrison looked more relieved than concerned when I told him that I won’t go. I don’t think they care.” Kenny points out, scraping the last bite on his fork. “The less the better for them I guess.”

Tweek frowns at him. “What do you mean you don’t go? You are coming to the ski trip, right?”

“Oh dear.”

“I never said I will.” Kenny argues with a deeper frown. Tweek mirrors it with more irritation. “I don’t want to pay for a trip where I will probably break something.”

"God, I hope Stan breaks something.” Bebe whispers.

He is about to retort when Annie cuts. “It’s not about Butters?”

Kenny roughness hits up and he rolls his shoulders with a shrug. “What about him?”

Both girls look at them like they are aliens.

“You don’t know he is coming.” Bebe realizes with a slow voice. “I thought he told you.”

“No, why wouldn't he have told you?” Annie retorts and they share a look. “He was so excited at the idea!”

"He told you?" Kenny articulates.

"Oh, Kenny…" Bebe trails off but it morphes into a short mourn. "I— we thought he told you."

Kenny stays quiet. Tweek swallows a knot and cautiously presses his shoulder against his.

"We haven't talked for a week— how is he coming? Why? He changed highschools!” He says with a tense jaw that made Tweek scrub his empty plate. “What did you do?”

"Hum. Literally nothing." Bebe disdainfully answers. "His whole class has the same ski trip."

Annie nods but it doesn't calm Kenny down.

"He told us he was excited for us to meet his friends — Michael, Ben, Gregory-"

"Yeah well another reason to not come. I save money for Karen, and I chill at home."

"Just move on and come, Kenny." Bebe argues with a pointed eyebrow. “It's not like it's awkward between you and Butters. You are the one making it complicated."

Tweek busies himself with his already empty can, feeling unfair to wish Kenny to come even if he has a half good reason. Kenny gasps a sharp 'ah', making Annie and Tweek share one look to not delve on the fight.

"You can't give me a lesson when you still mope after Wendy!"

"I'm not! That's totally different!" She jumps and hisses under her breath. "I have a date tomorrow if you must know, and Wendy and I will talk once I digest what she said to me."

"How is that different?!"

"Date with who?" Annie quietly cuts and Tweek is glad she did.

"Caroline."

Kenny lets out this kind of haughty and dramatic laugh. "Oh yeah, okay, great, so that's moving on? Then I moved on too." he mutters but Tweek doesn’t feel like agreeing so he turns to his phone.

It is school public information that Caroline is a girl-eater; most girls who deny her existence have turned out to have an adventure with her. She is nice though, sometimes Tweek chatted with her when the acapella group and theirs crossed paths.

"I thought she didn't date," Annie replies with a perplexed frown, "it's not because she was your first girl that you have to agree to anything-"

"Oh my God, Annie don't be like that."

"I just think it would be better if you stick with Clyde."

Tweek is too well-behaved to smash his head down, instead he thoroughly rubs a hand on his forehead.

"Clyde? What do you mean?"

"People are saying you two are back together," she explains with a pointed look unusual from her softness. "Saw you at the mall with him, all happy and chatty."

"You know there isn't a point in listening to gossips. If we trusted them then Kenny and Tweek would be together-"

"What?!"

"Or Samantha is pregnant from the French teacher," Bebe says with a twirl of a hand. "Which honestly is the most plausible possibility."

Annie shakes her head. "My point is I don't think it's a good idea to restart something with Caroline when you and Wendy still haven’t talked."

"We will talk when we talk." She cleans her tray and unhonestly smiles. "At least I don't ignore people like Kenny."

"I don't—! Fuck you!"

Tweek clears his throat and fumbles with what’s on his tray. “Anyway, I wanted to ask Heidi if she could pierce one of my ear-”

“Really?” Bebe perks up, clearly agreeing with him. “Which one?”

“You will be awesome!” Annie cheers, “We can do that at a sleepover!”

Tweek glances at Kenny who lost his tense nerves with the new subject – but he still doesn’t look away from his plate.

Tweek considers himself as a not-so-bad person, maybe even a good one. Nevertheless, he still feels a bit bad for Kenny. Not enough to be kind and share his secrets though. He did change the subject in an attempt to leave Kenny alone; the girls – Bebe at least – wouldn’t have left him alone. Nevertheless, he should have known his good action would be missed by Kenny.

Though now Tweek has promised that he will go to one of the girls’ sleepovers; as much as he likes them, the fact that it’s called a golden ticket makes him fear for what’s truly behind girls’ sleepovers – he can’t speak about whatever they will do. He might die.

"Wanna see a picture of my cock?"

Tweek stares at the floor of the bathroom. "You can't have a picture of a chicken on you."

"Well now you just broke the vine, asshole."

Kenny is right. Tweek is too busy trying to hear what he is doing in the next stall to laugh.

“Don’t do it.”

“Don’t do what?”

Tweek frowns at his stall door before one toilet lid is closed. He should have known his friend wouldn’t have changed his plan after the bad news. Maybe it isn’t such a bad matter since Kenny appears stubborn to not come to the ski trip – but it is a bad thing for Tweek. As much as he likes Stan and Kyle, his last resort when they need some couple time will be Cartman.
Or maybe he could hang out with Craig’s gang. There is another clang that startles the blond. He only sighs and glances up to spot Kenny’s forehead over the stall wall.

“Stop trying to peek, asshole.”

“I’m not peeking if I can’t see.”

“Step down from the toilet!”

“Not until you tell me.” Kenny retorts with too much fun for Tweek to not try to cover his parts with his shirt. “Don’t you wanna cheer me up?”

Tweek tries to not feel concerned as he tears a piece of paper. He wishes for someone to walk in the bathroom just for Kenny to stop his harassment, though the result will be uncertain. Most people stopped picking up on South Park’s weirdness.

“So, do you really not want to go on the ski trip?”

“Nah, I would probably break something anyway.”

Tweek checks if he is still perched before finishing his business with a sigh. “I will only tell you if you come on the trip.” he decides and closes his pants.

“What?! That’s not fair!”

“Then I won’t tell you!”

“You have to!” Kenny disagrees, sounding like he fell from the toilet rather than stepping down. “Tweek, I won’t come.”

He faces him in front of the stall. “Because of Butters?”

Kenny goes for a scoff but stops himself. “No.”

Tweek purses his lips, deciding that he should be the one mature and understanding in the middle of their highschool’s toilets.

“Don’t act like it doesn't bother you that he hasn't texted you."

"It doesn't because that's what I wanted." Kenny retorts, about to cross his arms but instead he puts his hands on his hips. "I won't spend money when it will be more useful for Karen."

"Did you even tell her about it?"

"Yeah."

Tweek frowns at his quick answer. "You're lying," he argues before he recognizes Kenny's indignant glare. "I will tell her."

"Tweek, you better not even think about it." Kenny warns but he already took out his phone. "That's not funny, put that down."

"I'm not trying to be funny, dipshit. I won’t tell Karen if you come — either way you come to the ski trip.”

Kenny holds himself pressured before closing his mouth with a glare. “I can’t.”

“Yes you can! I know you want to give everything you can for Karen but she won’t be happy if she knows what you are doing.”

“You don’t know that.”

He can see that he hit a nerve as Kenny’s eyes narrow and look away. Tweek might feel guilty mentioning her later, but he knows he isn’t wrong either.

“I think you’re dumb and maybe there is something else why you don’t want to come, but it can only be good for you. It’s not even a full week. And I know you aren't loaded but I also know you can get this break.”

His phone shakes, which he wants to check what text he just got at the next vibration but Kenny catches his attention with a sigh.

“I swear if I break something I won’t ever talk to you again.”

Tweek chuckles, relieved, as he washes his hands. “Why would you break something? I don’t even know how to ski so we could chill at the hotel.”

Kenny returns the easy smile and settles himself against the next sink. “I only come if you tell me that secret.”

“What?” Tweek frowns, pausing to have a quick plan to save his ass. “Okay,” he admits with a sigh, “but you can’t tell anyone.”

“Yup,” he agrees with a scout-like sign, “cross my heart, all that shit.”

Tweek eyes him – trying to find the right equilibrium to look like he is telling the truth and not overplay it. He will never know how Kenny can see through him most of the time; though the most important stuff is always kept.

“They have a date tomorrow at the aquarium, before the concert. They asked me to distract you in case you learn about it and try to crash it.”

There is a frown halting their conversation. Tweek slowly plays with the edge of his worn-out pullover. He likes the soft yellow of it.

“That’s the secret?” Kenny says, only increasing his worry, with a dubious face.

“Yeah…” he cautiously replies. “What did you expect?”

Kenny snorts. "I didn’t expect a fucking lie, bitch,” Tweek groans out at that, “though now I know it’s nastier than what I thought. And I already knew what they were planning to do.” He points out with a proud smirk. “I saw Stan looking for restaurants in class this morning.”

Tweek only sighs when Kenny nudges him, way too happily to not irk Tweek in return.

“I don’t care, alright? I can’t tell you! Kyle will kill me and literally!” he argues as he shoves him off but Kenny only snickers and grabs on his sleeve.

“Oh alright that’s one amazing secret I have to know, Tweeker!”

“Don’t call me that.” he cuts.

“Hey, you are the one who wants me to go on that ski trip.”

“Yeah but I want to be alive to go too!”

“I can keep the secret.” Kenny assures, slipping his arm over his shoulder to glue them together. “You know me, I wouldn’t tell bad secrets.”

Tweek doesn’t shake his head in small defeat but he feels like he is biting into a thousand lemons. "You won’t be able to keep this one. It’s too big.”

“How so?”

“It’s not even worth going on a ski trip.” he mutters.

“Wow, okay, first — that hurts and second there is nothing that can’t rival my sacrifice here. I’m even sure I could guess it.”

Tweek scoffs. “No, no way you can. It’s too crazy for — no, no I’m not giving you more hints.”

Kenny purses his lips before smirking mischievously. “It’s not like you told me the secret if I simply guessed it, right?”

He is about to argue but the idea doesn’t sound that bad in his head; though he also knows Kyle wouldn’t see that argument that way.

“We’re not doing that, no.” he decides, ignoring his friend's quiet laugh to frown. “It won’t work. My life is at stake here.”

“I promise," Kenny articulates with sheer seriousness that irritates him, "I will keep the secret.”

“You won’t be able to. That’s why I was laughing all day, almost pissed on myself.”

That seems to surprise his friend enough to make him look surprised. “It’s that good?”

They stare at each other. “I swear on my 'Mothman’s slut' shirt.”

Kenny’s eyes widen, taking in the seriousness – but Tweek’s phone vibrates once more. They both look down at the notification.

“Did you fucking tell Karen?”

“No,” he retorts with a faint scoff, “you would have seen me text. I don’t know who it is.”

“Okay, okay, open that shit later.” Kenny cuts, pushing the phone down. “Tell me that secret now.”

Tweek bites on his lip as he truly wonders if Kenny could keep it to himself. He is probably not even able to keep the secret by himself and he choked on his spite thrice just because he saw Stan. It isn’t even that he is laughing at his friend; the situation is just too surreal for something they have joked about.

His tongue stops to push the edge of his teeth. “You promise you won’t tell? And you can’t laugh.”

“Tweek, come on, I won't. I promised.” he assures with a nod.

“Okay okay!” He doesn’t. His brain tries to find a way to make it appear less funny than it is, but that only makes him smile all sillily as he tries to hide it behind a hand. “So, you know, they — tried to have sex but Stan threw up.”

A far away announcement echoes but the tumult on Kenny’s face makes him go deaf. He has the time to briefly wonder if he had the same expressions before Kenny roars a laugh. It sounds so raw and deep that Tweek is scared that he will throw up in return. Tweek has the reflex to look at the bathroom door before watching Kenny bending over his stomach.

He takes a deep breath which sounds wet and overwhelmed by his hysteria. “Fuck — oh my God!” he gasps out and suddenly crouches, slipping off his mask. “I can’t fucking breathe.”

“Yeah that was my reaction.” he admits, reaching his level with a barely contained laugh.

“Aaaah, fuck.” Kenny breathes out with a loud sniff that makes Tweek smile.

"I told you you won’t be able to not laugh.” he points out with a chuckle, playing with his weight on his feet.

“Stan threw up on Kyle?!”

Their eyes meet, both breaking into a big shared laugh. Both properly fall on their asses, sharing one look before their stomach twists harder in mirth.

He feels his phone vibrating another time. Tweek doesn’t have time to take a proper look at it this time – Kenny falls on him with a sideways hug as his throaty laugh echoes through his shoulder.

Intoxicated, he feels revived and doesn’t think one second on what floor they are holding on.
Another announcement resounds and it clears his mind just enough to feel his phone stubbornly vibrate again.

Tweek reaches for it but falls back into chuckles when he meets Kenny’s gaze. “Oh my God, I can’t believe it — when did that happen?”

“Yesterday, or this morning – I don’t know. It was after we all went out.”

Kenny giggles and wipes his eyes with a dramatic moan. “This is amazing, I thought I would pee myself. Oh my God" he sniffs, breaking into another wet chuckle. "Can’t wait to tell that at their wedding.”

Tweek laughs at the prospect before he remembers the deal here. His phone flies out of his hand to grab on Kenny.

“You’re not! You promised, Kenny!”

“Did I?”

He only stares back with sparkling eyes, slowly constricting himself around a laugh that leaves him wheezing once it's out.

"Kenny!"

“I didn’t think it would be that funny!” He accuses back but he is looking too amused to be taken seriously. “Oh — I don't think I will be able to walk out of this bathroom."

"I think we just skipped." Tweek comments and is about to stand up but he is dragged back down. He almost slips but it works out once they settle against each other. "I don't want to sit on that gross floor."

"Think about Stan throwing up on Kyle. That will change your mind."

He snorts at Kenny’s smirk before they both go back to laugh. Their lungs keep emptying at every giggle and chuckle. It is a quiet but effervescent company – one would chuckle for an exhale before they both can even try to contain themselves.

There is a deep relief blooming out of their tight togetherness; it’s one more pearl of laughter wiped away that allows Tweek to have a proper breath. He absently recognizes another announcement. It could be a reminder to not leave perishable foods in their lockers, or another farewell for the break.

Kenny restarts to giggling every once in a while. They stay shoulder to shoulder and simply smile at the small gasp of tenacious thoughts. When his phone vibrates once again, another announcement goes through.

He recognizes the mention of the main hall, probably for PC to have another one of his speeches, but he is more concerned about his texts. One is simply from Stan asking if they are ditching. The other ten are from Bebe who keeps asking Tweek to just leave the school because the afternoon will be a disaster.

“What is it?”

Tweek glances at him distractedly, typing quick worried answers to their friend, before shrugging.

“Bebe is telling me that I should skip the rest of the day.”

“Why?” Kenny frowns, peering over the Tweek’s shoulder to see the texts

Another one throbs in – this time, Bebe specifies that only Kenny needs to miss the classes too.

“Are we in danger?”

“Nah, Bebe always overreacts.” Kenny dismisses with an easy smile and signs to get his phone. “Let me answer her.”

He hands it. “Stan also said there is an announcement, so we should try to see if it’s important.”

“It’s PC, it’s rarely important. I hope Strong Woman is back after the break – she keeps things down.”

“Yeah, it’s weird. I miss her.” Tweek agrees, getting his phone back.

He observes the empty bathroom with a quick hesitation on their plan. Anyway, skipping classes sound certainly like the best idea since Kenny shares the secret now, they won’t be able to stay quiet. Especially around Stan and Kyle. Just thinking about it makes his stomach tingle.

“Milkshakes?” He asks when they both stand up.

Kenny smiles with a nod before he puts his mask back on.

Before they can reach the school exit, the announcement rings again. Tweek already feels uncomfortable in the middle of the empty hallways but another deeper chill strikes him.

“PC Principal is waiting for Kenneth McCormick and Tweek Tweak at the main hall for an announcement, misters McCormick and Tweak.”

Kenny doesn’t let one sound leave his mouth and his hands immediately raise with calm anticipation.

“We did nothing wrong, okay? Don’t freak out,” he says with probably a smile. When Tweek tries to place words, Kenny only shakes his head with calm. “That’s probably what Bebe meant — see? There is a meeting which is probably like ninety percent of them, useless, and PC noticed we weren’t there because of this lame week.”

“But-”

“Tweek, I’m sure we aren’t in trouble.”

“Why does he want us then?!” He shrieks out, twitching flashing through his body.

“He saw us yesterday, his brain noticed we were missing his meeting so he is being a bitch now. We aren’t the only ones ditching — relax.” Kenny assures and grabs Tweek’s forearms to keep him in one place. “We just go and see what’s this about. Because we are clearly wanted and I don’t want to have detention tomorrow morning.”

Tweek fights the grip and digs his feet on the noisy floor, but he is still dragged; only giving up to not trip and crack his head open. He follows Kenny with an anxious tension.

“I don’t like this. Bebe told us to leave. Maybe there is an epidemic or a surprise exam! I’m not ready for that!” He squawks.

Kenny stops with a small exasperation when Tweek tugs hard enough. “It’s not. He is probably going to speak about religious tolerance because Christmas is coming. If it’s an exam we run before he even sees us, alright?”

He swallows, not letting his neck properly stretch out from between his shoulders. The drag is long and anxiety-brewing; he manages to get his hand out of Kenny’s grasp but he is caught by one of his long-sleeves, trapping him back again after they shared a contradictory glance.

Tweek can’t see something fun coming out of being called probably five times by PC Principal. It is most likely a death walk. Tweek is sure that not everyone has been called to this meeting. People are probably wandering around, out of this stupid reunion, even more when it’s the last useless day of school.

“I don’t like this.”

“I don’t like you muttering a weird mantra behind me.” Kenny replies before sighing when his step is drawn back. He turns around to see where Tweek’s hand is anchored on. “Tweek, let go of the corner.”

“No.”

“Tweek!”

Kenny wails and tries to drag him but Tweek fiercely holds on to the corner, nails scraping the paint. He turns to shoot him an exasperated glare.

“I don’t like this!” Tweek hisses. “Nobody is out but us! It’s a trap! Bebe told us to leave!”

“Tweek, what do you even think is going to happen out there? PC is just going to talk about some shit and we try to stay awake. That’s the usual shitshow.”

“But I don’t like this.” he argues, ignoring the sickening feeling calming down.

Kenny isn’t pissed, even offering a small smile. “I’m with you, alright? If we get in trouble it won’t be the first time. Hell, we always get caught for the smallest shit we do,” he reminds with a shrug, “and you already have detention tomorrow so it’s not like you can get more now.”

Tweek purses his lips as he reads Kenny’s face. His nails slowly let go of the wall, Kenny smiles but he doesn’t return it. The tension hasn’t left him – only diminishes enough to share a bit of the arguments.

“I don’t like this.”

“Think about Stan throwing up, that will cheer you up.” he points out with a cheeky smile.

Tweek doesn't fight the grip on his hand this time. The silence only grows heavier with each step, sinking in Tweek’s mind when they reach the main hall.

Not everyone turns around to see them walk in but the door suspiciously squeaks more than necessary. With a tense gulp, he ponders out if it is safer to grab on Kenny. Their hands quietly slip out of each other’s grasps as they walk down the aisle.

Kenny doesn’t walk fast enough for Tweek; he has to be careful to not step on him, which is difficult when a mass of gazes are digging through his skull. Tweek spots the betrayed and indignant look from Bebe, who is sitting in one of the first rows before she makes an exasperated gesture and sits down.

“You two are late.” PC says in the mic.

Tweek’s first reflex is to avoid his attention. Everyone is focused on him but at least nobody else says anything yet. His phone vibrates in his back pocket.

“Sorry sir, we were doing stuff.” Kenny answers all too easily before slipping in a row.

People are giggling around and Tweek is ready to pounce. Kenny slaps his palm on Cartman's face before he could complain when they push his legs to pass.

Tweek smiles apologetically at him until Cartman tries to make him trip but Tweek saves his ass by grabbing the top of Stan’s seat.

“What’s this about?”

Stan shrugs and folds his legs the best he can to let him pass. “No idea, he just called everyone here and we’ve been waiting for you two.”

Tweek wants to reply but he notices the intense staring between Kyle and Kenny. The latter hasn’t even properly sat down.

“What?”

“What yourself.” Kenny replies.

Taking his chance to avoid a catastrophe, Tweek quickly makes his way to the last free seat with an authentic freaking-out smile to Kyle.

Kyle’s frown deepens as he glances between him and Tweek. He quietly sits down. Kenny snorts after a high-pitched wheeze is swallowed. Kyle’s eyes darken and Tweek sees when the realization hits him by the sudden jaw clench.

“Tweek-”

“Alright, everyone listen up.” PC cuts and Tweek has never been more happy to hear him. “I know there is a lot of rumors flying around—”

“You told him?” Kyle hisses and Tweek doesn’t have the time to move before a hand tries to tear his arm off.

“I-! Kyle listen-”

“Come on, calm down guys,” Kenny says just as they hear something about the LGBTQIA+. Kyle throws him a nasty glare but his wrath is anticipated. “Nobody wants a stomach ache-”

Tweek chokes just as Kyle grabs him by his shirt when he snickers.

“Hey, hey! What’s going on?” Stan asks, trying to push his boyfriend back down. “PC is still talking. Kyle, come on.”

Kyle turns to glare at him as Tweek tries to dig into the seat to disappear. “He—” a nerve must have exploded because he sits down. “I’m killing him after school is over, alright?”

“What?”

“Okay.” Stan agrees, like they decided what to eat, intertwining their fingers with a smile.

"Who?! Me or Kenny?"

"Both." Kyle hisses.

"Why?"

"Yeah, Kyle, why?"

"Shut up Kenny!"

"Who is killing who?" Cartman cuts, leaning in their small whispered cacophony.

"Kyle wants to kill me, again." Kenny tells him.

"You're an ass! Both of you!"

"What happened? Dude, calm down."

"Oh my God, can you guys stop holding hands for a fucking second?" Cartman exclaims and Tweek wonders how many hits he will need to his head to collapse against the wall. He doesn’t want to watch Stan cooing when five minutes ago he was imagining their sexual life. "Degenerate fags-"

"Hey-"

"CARTMAN!" Tweek falls back against his seat just as a swear escapes one of them. "Did you just use the term ‘fags’ to insult your classmates?!"

"I said farts! I’m like a hundred percent for ga— homosexuals!” Cartman shouts with his arms crossed. “Don’t need a fucking lesson.” he lowly mutters.

Some people chuckle. Stan only brushes a hand on his face with the same reflex as Tweek, to dig in his seat. PC is clearly not done. His finger is still pointed straight to Cartman as his eyes scurry the whole room.

“That’s what I’m talking about.”

“What is PC talking about?” Kenny whispers.

“Don’t even fucking speak to me.” Kyle growls back.

“You kids think you know everything when you don’t even take time to listen—”

Tweek tries to ignore Kenny’s whine and how he throws his head on his shoulder. It shakes him up from his anxious nails biting.

“You were right, we should have ditched.” he whispers in his neck, breath fluttering through his mask. “Why can’t he just understand that he should talk to the people who need to know this shit and not us, the open-minded.”

“That’s a cool coven name.” He doesn’t catch on to whatever PC says - only recognizes ‘teens’ and ‘real experience’ - because he is steadily elbowed. “What?”

Kenny gazes up to him. “We would be dope witches.”

“Warlocks,” Tweek corrects but feels like he might have called upon obscure forces, so he quickly closes his mouth and tries to listen to PC.

“I’m really happy with how many progress we made at this highschool but I can see there is troubles to understand-”

Kenny wails right into his ear.

“Shut up.” Kyle hisses just as Tweek tries to push Kenny off.

Tweek glares at him before he turns back to Kenny. “Listen to PC! I don’t want to get detention for not listening.”

Kenny snorts. “I would never.” he whispers back. “I’m just thinking how funny it would be if PC heard about — you know, and talking about it right now.”

He frowns, giving up on being a good student to lean toward him. “About what?”

Kenny isn’t happy with the distance because he grabs his hand to yank their faces closer. “The throw-up sex incident.” he whispers.

Tweek doesn’t manage to stifle a snort but he tries to swallow it. Instead it sounds louder and he almost chokes on his laugh. Kenny doesn’t lose time to join. His snicker makes him shake all over, getting louder by each second.

“Are they high?” Stan asks.

They both burst up in laughter. Tweek tries to muffle it behind his free hand but it barely works once Kenny catches it. He spots the ominous glare of Kyle and the incredulous one from Stan. Tweek’s mind can only supply a sketch of the couple's faces when Stan throws up. Kenny is bending over his stomach, barely making noises — but that might be because Kyle put his hand atop of his neck. Definitely digging pain in there.

“Tweek and Kenny!”

Tweek swallows as much as he can when he looks up. PC stares right at them. Most people are also looking at them. An odd knot pierces his throat. His hand clutches on his friend’s by instinct and Kenny returns the gesture, like a reflex. Whispers spread around but Kyle doesn’t let Kenny out of his grasp, only turns to Stan and Cartman. The latter convulses into a laugh so loud that it covers the rest. PC doesn’t share the amusement though.

“What? What’s happening?” Tweek asks with a twitch.

Kenny finally breathes when Kyle lets go of him. Stan looks at them like they have just announced that they don’t like animals.

“Tweek, Kenny, come up on the stage.” PC Principal calls with a come-like gesture that Tweek can only qualify as predatory.

“What?”

Tweek knows it is a trap. He is thinking of jumping across the seats to get out when he realizes even Craig’s whole gang is watching.

Nobody moves on their row except Cartman — sounding like he has the time of his life. Then someone stands up, saying to PC that they can’t do that. He recognizes that it’s Wendy when more voices join. A mix of agreements and disagreements.

Someone squeals. “They are holding hands!”

There is a flash, surprising Tweek, followed by more voices joining any side of this untold subject. He still catches on that the picture must have concerned him and Kenny. He lets go of Kenny's hand and furiously blinks. He barely notices Craig’s back not far.

“Everyone sit down!” PC calls, which doesn’t work and only triggers more babbles between a group of girls. He recognizes a major part of the Asian Culture Club.

“You can’t out them like that!” Wendy exclaims.

“Testaburger, sit down!”

“What the fuck?” Kenny tries with a higher octave to be heard.

Stan comes back to life at that. “You slept with Tweek?!”

“How do you know that?”

Tweek hears a girl screaming ‘it’s true’ but doesn’t see who she is. Instead he turns to his friends – glaring at Kyle when he couldn’t find any logic to the events.

“You told him?!”

“What?! Of course not! I’m not a snitch like you!” Kyle retorts.

Kenny winces at the volume and the quick indignant shout of Stan.

“How the fuck didn’t I know that!?”

“They didn’t know they were together!”

"Fuck—" Kenny throws his hands in the air, turning to Stan, "we aren't! We only banged once."

Stan pales so fast he might throw up. "You had SEX?"

Tweek turns to see the girls squealing before gasping when they realize he is looking. Instead of telling them to stop or even explain, he is pulled down. He looks wide-eyed at Kenny.

“Why the fuck does everyone think we are together?”

“I don’t know.” Tweek hastily whispers, “I only told Kyle that we-”

“McCormick! Tweak!”

Kyle smacks Cartman’s head on the front seat to make him shut up. It is worrying that it isn’t called off – especially when Cartman yelps and whines through the wide room. PC Principal only makes another gesture of the hand to the two blonds.

Bile crawls up in his throat, sadly it doesn’t explode. It roots at the start of his throat as nobody looks away from him nor Kenny.

“I knew it!” Someone screams in the back, followed by hurried foreign words from others. “Just give me the bucks, bitch!”

A horn disrupts the cacophony but it’s not enough to catch a breath.

“That’s what I’m talking about!” PC hollers – mic almost down his throat. “You all don’t take the time to listen to people with real experience— you two get up there.”

“What?! Why?” Tweek croaks before Kenny stands up, dragging him.

“What are you doing?” Kyle gasps looking as distraught as Tweek.

“Obviously he isn’t going to let us go.” he explains and Tweek can’t get his hand out of his grasp.

“Oh that’s fantastic.” Cartman hiccups without moving a bit for the two blonds to get out of the row. “A sex ed with the biggest whore of America-”

Kenny gasps just as Tweek sees an asian girl standing up with her phone.

“Dude, your mom is coming?”

Someone behind them laughs as Cartman starts a wave of indignation curses.

“Keep it down, Cartman!” PC warns.

Tweek would have laughed too if he wasn’t so creeped out that he is filmed. He is tugged down the aisle and he realizes that they are looking like they are holding hands — when it was just a big abduction. It’s how he ends up trying to walk out by fighting with Kenny. Both of them must be looking insane but apparently not enough for anyone to step in. They tug back and forth like children but Tweek isn’t one to walk up a stage when he doesn’t know what’s actually happening.

“What are you doing?” Kenny casually hisses, yanking Tweek suddenly and almost making their foreheads knock.

“I’m not-”

“Oh my God!” A girl shouts. “They are going to kiss!”

“Fuck off!” Kyle howls back.

Tweek gulps down – his brain is lost somewhere where there isn’t so much nonsense. There he is following Kenny with a faint hope that it’s the right decision.

“We could run away.”

“We are just going to say that it’s not true.” Kenny assures but he still tries to walk backwards.

Tweek surrenders to not smash his head open by tripping. Many whispers bloom at each of their steps. He turns right in time to see Craig chilling in his seat, crossed arms and hat over his face; so bored that he must be trying to sleep. He doesn’t know if it’s a blessing or not. His head ashamedly twists around, ignoring the many faces probably looking at him.

“Don’t you hang out with the asian club? Why didn’t you stop them from saying this shit.”

“I don’t want to be thrown out of the club.” Kenny whispers back.

Tweek tugs once when he realizes that they have one row left before the few steps on the stage. He spots PC throwing the horn behind the scene, nobody is here to catch it by the sound. The imposant man quickly walks toward one of the curtains to grab a bag.

If it wasn’t for Strong Woman this school would have burned a long time ago. Kenny has to drag Tweek for another step before he lets go of his hand. His reassuring smile doesn’t work.

His body turns cold or he is slowly dying in mortification. Nobody whispers anymore. Somehow they have the decency to not distract themselves from his scene.

Tweek spots his friends watching with a sort of mourn on their faces. Except for Cartman, looking high and snickering behind his filming phone. Craig and his friends are still, but Clyde forces a tense smile when their eyes meet.

“As I was saying, people need to learn about true experiences.”

“Oh Jesus.”

Tweek twitches as PC opens the bag to look inside. He glances at Bebe in the first row, fiercely typing on her phone before noticing him. She arches an eyebrow that simply said that he put himself into this situation.

“In this time of love and sharing, I think we have made a lot of progress here. But not enough for people to properly together-”

“Yeah about that,” Kenny starts with a step toward the mic.

Except that PC turns toward the room and asks everyone to clap.

Tweek twitchs at the first timid clap that follows PC’s. It scatters around, not close enough to be a proper acclamation until something snaps and everyone – wholeheartedly or not – joins.
There is a big chance a threat appeared on their principal’s face for it to happen.

Tweek hastily tries to not blush but he feels violently feverish. In the corner of his eyes he sees Cartman trying not to giggle out loud. He stares at the ground, feeling light headed.

Even if his anger is still here – he can’t direct it to Kenny, who does try to place a word but with PC it is unlikely. Kyle is still facepalming and speaking to Stan, probably to put things clear. The idea of being with Kenny doesn’t bother Tweek in itself, it merely annoys him; they are presented like fresh meat and someone is having fun out of their misery. It’s not like there is anything to expect from gossip in highschool. But there is rarely someone mean enough like Cartman to plan this.

In the corner of his eyes he spots Leslie sweetly waving with a smile. Blood running scorchy, Tweek doesn’t hear PC restarting to talk again. His eyes fly in a vague panic. Too many faces coming closer and closer. He sees Bebe’s face. She stares at him, uptight before turning around when his eyes glance to Leslie whispering to her friends.

“Share with us your experiences in homosexual intercourse.”

"What?" Kenny replies just as Tweek almost hit him when he turned to face PC.

"Please tell us how you decide who gets a penis in their asshole."

PC is handing the mic to them. Like a threat.

"Wait, that's serious?" Kenny articulates.

Tweek doesn’t think. He smashes the mic down, sickening the room with its bang.

“That was crazy.” Kenny comments once they have found sanctuary in his car.

Tweek barely glances at him, mesmerized by the disaster this week was. The only good turnout was the explosions of reactions once he and Kenny ran away from the stage. He shouldn’t have grabbed Kenny’s hand though. Tweek groans out, smothering his face against his crossed arms and he almost misses the delicate sniff from his friend.

He looks up to spot Kenny smelling an opened tube of lube.

“Where did you get that?!” Kenny peers and gestures to the plastic bag on his lap; the one PC had. “You stole it?” Tweek shrieks.

“PC gave it to us.” he argues with a frown. “You really didn’t listen to anything he said? That’s a gift. Sort of.” Kenny shows him the two tubes of lube and the pack of condoms.

“To show his support.” he continues with a smirk. “I wasn’t going to say no to free good stuff, and look, this is Christmas special — gingerbread and candy cane, oooh-”

“Everyone will think it’s for us!” He screams back, taking the items to throw it in the backseats of the car. “Why are you acting like everything is normal?!”

Kenny shifts on his seat to face him. Tweek groans and twitches, hands slapping in his hair.

“I’m not. But you are freaking out. Breathe, nothing is going to happen,” Kenny says with a gentle voice. “It’s Christmas break, we can ditch the rest of the day. We can put some lube in front of Cartman’s door so he slips when he goes home.”

“I don’t like this!” Kenny whispers a ‘me too’ as his hand works its way through the tension in Tweek’s shoulder. “Leslie is such a bitch! I-I -ngh- I can’t believe she told everyone!”

“You told her?”

“No!” He snaps, facing him. “I told Kyle and she fucking spied on us!”

Kenny considers it. “She is the biggest gossip of the earth and she is really convincing.” he agrees. “You want me to put Caramelldansen on to relax?”

Tweek twitches, feeling his hair being pulled out one by one. He jumps in surprise when a hand smashes on the driver’s window.

“Open the door!”

Kenny groans and deepens in his seat. “Great, Papa wolf wants to kick my ass now.”

“What?”

“Let me in!” Stan hits on the windows before pulling on the handle. “Let me in, Kenny!”

“No! Fuck off!” He shouts. “You are going to hit me!”

Kyle rolls his eyes beside them and Tweek sighs.

“I’m not! Just fucking open the doors!” He screams back.

Kenny squints at him. “Really? You’re not going to hit me, Stanley?”

Stan frowns — face close to the glass. “I won’t.” he clips.

They stare at each other long enough for the Tweek to smash his head against his headrest.
The car doors open – only the back doors. Stan quickly slips in, without even properly sitting he slaps his hands on Kenny.

“Hey!” Tweek jumps.

“You fucker!” Kenny screams back, biting the hand that smashed back on his face.

“Stop!” Kyle tries to push Stan, probably only to sit. It works just for a second but enough for him to sit in and close the door.

“Why are you fighting?!”

“Because he fucked you!”

“Tweek asked!”

“Jesus! Stop!” He shrieks.

Kenny grabs Stan’s hands as they go to grab his head, to smash them against the headrest.
Tweek is about to join – in a hope to separate them. But Kyle’s technique helps much better. Stan and Kenny both end up with wet eyes. Kenny nurses his red hand against his neck.

“That fucking hurts, Kyle.” Stan, in the same state, mutters in the back.

“You two are fucking kids.”

“I’m not the one who started.” Kenny spits out.

“Why the fuck did you two fuck?!” Stan accuses.

Tweek blushes and shares a look with his partner in crime.

“It, mh, sort of happened?”

“Why?!”

“I didn’t want to be a virgin anymore, alright?!” He screams back. Quickly turning to face the top of the car to blush less, his teeth gnaw at his bottom lip.

Kyle sighs. “Well, now, everyone thinks you two are together since this summer – and fuck.”

Tweek groans and lets his head feel against the dashboard.

“Leslie started it. She heard when I told you.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Stan asks, probably to his boyfriend.

“I thought he would tell you.”

Kenny snorts. “Did he tell you how fast he came? And twice!”

Tweek’s head snaps up. “Kenny!”

“Gross!”

His laugh roars before Stan slaps Kenny.

“For the record, it was my first time and we switched so it was double first time!” Tweek clumsily argues when he glances at the backseats.

“Oh my God.” Stan pinches the bridge of his nose as Kyle groans.

“We didn’t want to know!”

“Why did you tell that?” Tweek turns to Kenny, glaring when he sees him still quietly cackling.

“What? It’s not a big deal, it was great.” Kenny explains with a swift roll of shoulders. “And Stan obviously needs the proof that you asked for it.”

“Oh my God!” He wails.

“And, honestly I would still do it — you, if you know what I mean.”

“Keep it for you!” Tweek barks at his purr as the anger flushes him raw.

“I can’t keep the image out of my mind!” Stan screams, curling in the back.

Tweek turns back to Kenny smirking at him, before his cat-got-the-cream smile widens with a glance to the back.

“You really are the worst Kenny.” Kyle articulates through tense teeth.

The latter returns the frown with way more indignation Tweek anticipated.

“Oh am I?” Kyle’s gaze sharpens at his words. “At least I didn’t throw up.”

Tweek can’t recall at what point they started to ignore the aftermath of any of their actions.
He doesn’t have the time to even feel bad.

“What?!” Stan snaps, eyes going mad between Kyle and Kenny. “How — you told him?!”

“I told Tweek! He is the snitch!” He argues with flared cheeks.

“Kenny forced me to say it!”

“And I regret nothing.”

“Shut up!” Kyle snaps. “Stan, I didn’t mean to. I just-”

“I know Kyle is hot but enough for you to throw up? Damn.”

Stan shoots him a glare, turning way too red for it to be good. His boyfriend shares the same fate – more violently because he loses all of his spat. Tweek doesn’t dare to step in, fearing for his own secrets to be revealed. He knows that it is not good to let Kenny have the upperhand like that.

“Kenny had a wet dream about Sharon!”

“What?!”

Kenny gasps at Tweek. “You — betrayal!”

“You fucking dreamt about my mom?!” Stan screams.

“In my defence!” Kenny cuts. “She is really hot.”

“What the fuck,” Kyle whispers while Tweek tries to not chuckle.

“And she ages like a fine wine, Sta- don’t fucking grab me!” He quickly swats the murderous hands away but his body rashly hits the wheel. “Nobody can’t control their wet dreams, okay?!”

“You fucking pervert!”

Kenny pauses, offended. “I’m not the one who fucked a redhead to think it was Kyle for the first time.”

“What?!” The latter exclaims. Tweek laughs while Stan places and quickly looks away from his boyfriend.

“How the fuck don’t I know that?!”

“Don’t act like you are better.” Kenny teases with a waving finger. “You did a fake profile to stalk Stan on instagram and totally drool all over. You put flames everywhere!”

Tweek almost chokes on his snort as Kyle’s face burns in shame. Stan stares at him, flabbergasted – quickly closing his mouth as the color darkens his cheeks too.

“I was fifteen.” he croaks after a beat of silence.

He has another burst of mirth, head landing against the window to watch the disaster.

“We are getting out of he-” Stan tries to open the car door before manically tearing on the handle. “Kenny, open the door.”

“You closed the doors?!” Tweek exclaims and turns to his own locked one. “Kenny!”

“We are all going down!”

Tweek almost swallows his tongue when he realizes that Kenny is looking at him.
“Wha-”

“And Tweek is the one who broke Stan’s car last winter.”

“What?!”

“We only planned to break the heat!” Tweek argues but Stan isn’t pleased. “It was an attempt to get you two to cuddle and get together! Kenny had the idea.”

“Because I’m a genius.”

“We were stuck for three hours in the middle of nowhere because you two had left!” Kyle shouts.

“And you still hadn’t fuck.”

“I didn’t mean to!” Tweek says with a faint tremor. “I never touched the wires of a car before.”

“He almost tried to eat them.”

“Shut up!”

Kenny does after Tweek punches his shoulder.

“You fucking what?” Kyle asks, wide eyed and maybe looking sick.

“I didn’t eat anything!” He shrieks. “I just wondered why weasels can eat a car’s wires without being fried alive.”

“Because of common sense, Tweek!” Kyle exclaims. “They don’t touch the ground, that’s how!”

All I Want For Christmas’ first note echoes not far off.

In silence they listen to it. One with his head hiding in his hands, another with the face smashed against the seat or staring at the ceiling in a sort of prayer. Tweek indulges himself by crossing his arms on the dashboard and lets himself rest on them.

Kenny’s car wasn’t started nor the heat – it is only their breath and despair filling up the oxygen. One of them brought the ‘ride or die’ rule and Tweek always thought it was as dumb as world-changing on a stupid scale.

"I think it's the right time to say something climatic, you know? Get a good vibe in-"

"I hate all of you.”

"Well, that doesn't work, Kyle." Kenny says.

“Friendship is magic — my ass.” Tweek almost doesn’t hear Stan with his face in the seat.

“Pinkie Pie was always a liar.”

“Fuck Pinkie Pie.” he agrees.

Tweek jumps with a startled yelp when something hits the back of the car. He turns just in time to see Bebe smiling viciously at the doors. She knocks on the back left window and gestures to the door. Kyle doesn’t have the time to scoot over when Kenny opens it. Bebe pounces on his laps and closes the doors.

“So, I got news-”

“Can you, like, not?” Stan barks with a violent wave at her sitting on Kyle.

Bebe shoots him a look before glancing at Kyle. “I’m not sitting on your dick, am I?”

“What?! No! Get off-”

“Then no problem.” she shushes, pinching his lips. With a surprising mastery, she anticipates Stan’s reply by lurching her long hair right in his face. “As I was saying,” Bebe continues, ignoring his splutters, “Leslie is the source-”

“We knew that.” Tweek mumbles out.

She gives him a pity smile. “Don’t worry, I will claw her eyes out. I think we should start another bigger one but Wendy doesn’t agree.”

“Wait, you two started to talk again?” Kenny taunts. “That was useful for something, at least.”

Bebe shrugs. “Kinda a big event, but yeah. Anyway,” she dismisses with a lean on Kyle’s shoulder, “she stretched the rumor a bit too much for my taste.”

“It’s kinda true, though.” Kenny says.

“What?” By Kyle’s grimace, her jump was misplaced. “Since when you two are together?”

Tweek tries to smile but he can’t shake off the feeling she is more focused on him. “Not that part.”

“Though we only did it once.” Kenny adds, which seems to relax Bebe. “Well twi-”

“Don’t say it.” Stan groans.

Bebe glances between them two. "Butters knows?"

"What?"

"Did he text you about Tweek and you?"

Kenny pauses, briefly wondering before he purses his lips. "He isn't here anymore, right?"

Bebe's eyes go soft before she sighs, returning to lounge against Kyle. “Anyway, PC is asking for you two at his office. And you should take care of your pig, too.” she says to Kyle.

“Who?”

“Cartman.”

“Who?” Kyle repeats.

“What is he doing?” Tweek asks.

“Selling pictures of you two. The Asian Club is all over it.”

“Pictures?!”

“But Wendy told me she will take care of it so — expect a big fight in maybe thirty minutes.”
Bebe glances at her watch before opening the door. "And I kinda want to see that-"

"Wait! Why PC is calling us in his office?" Tweek blurts out. "Are we getting detention?"

"I have no idea, sorry, but it doesn't seem that bad."

"Yeah well, thank you for your useless help.” Stan grumbles.

Bebe shoots him a look with a middle finger before closing the door. Kyle rubs his face with a hand.

Kenny glances at all of them before shrugging to Tweek. "Yeah, I'm not going back so he can ask for the lube back. He gave it so it’s mine now."

"He gave you lube?"

"I can give you one. Looks like you guys will quickly use-"

"That's it! We are out!" Kyle cuts, almost kicking the door open and catching Stan's arm.

"Out of the closet?" Kenny screams back but the door is closed on his words.

Tweek warily looks in the rear view to check on his friends.

"What do we do?"

"We share the lube. Those two are too bitchy."

"I'm talking about PC." Tweek sighs. "We ditch or we go see him? I mean, it's not like there is a public there."

"Nah, last day of school, fuck this." Kenny turns on the radio and properly folds his mask he threw when they got in.

Tweek looks at him before glancing at the school with an anxious twitch. He tells himself it is probably just to clear things out. A quick run in and out, worst case he throws himself out of a window. The fact that Kenny promises to wait for him in the car helps a lot too.

Tweek tries to look intimidating in the corridor. Especially since there is apparently everyone wandering outside of their classes. It is a good reminder for him to not check his phone.

At this point, he might have to change countries to not hear another 'that guy had an orgy with McCormick'. He can understand how they might have looked like a couple back there; as if holding hands can’t be purely platonic. Everyone will spread more and more rumors, maybe until his death – and what a fiasco it will be once Kenny is properly with someone.

Tweek never really thinks about dating. He is too ashamed of what happened everytime he sees Craig. Which wouldn't be half-bad if he wasn't such a creep. Maybe Kyle spied once on Stan — with enough immaturity and hormones to be forgivable, but Tweek is still at this stage.

He can’t remember how many times he struck up a conversation with Tolkien to know if he hung out with Craig. Once Tweek saw a girl slip a letter in Craig’s locker and Tweek tried to open it with a blind energy but never managed to open it to burn the letter. This probably does not make him boyfriend material.

Tweek breathes out at the empty corridor. The pressure of his phone, with too many pictures of Craig to not be indecent, weighs him down. It will bite him in the ass once. He doesn’t think it has to be now when Tweek already has to deal with his sex life out and teenagers' imagination filling the gaps.

He cautiously steps in the offices' corridor. Eyes immediately latching on Craig hunched on the bench for PC Principal's room. His leg is jumping at a speed that should only be allowed for someone birthed with meth. He can easily guess that Craig is here for bad behavior, but is still surprised of the timing since Mariah Carey announced the period only a few minutes ago.

Tweek’s legs root at an appropriate distance. Craig probably has his earphones on for him to not notice him already up until Tweek’s choked clear of the throat makes Craig startle quite abruptly.

Tweek feels a small flush creeping back - throwing his luck on the last event to justify it, he smiles nervously and looks around.

"You," he says but his lips are dry, "hum, you are waiting for - ngh - Principal?"

Craig stares for two short seconds before the hallway is more interesting. Tweek can see that he doesn’t have earphones on. So he is just being ignored then.

Tweek gulps down. His hands linger on his throat but he doesn’t grip on it even when he can’t feel much senses. He is parroting to himself he shouldn't even care when Craig stands up. Looking taller and obscenely imposing for a simple simp like Tweek who can’t quite handle this sight. Tweek looks at Craig taking the space in front of him with one only step before realizing that Craig seems mad.

Mad is a big word. Tweek has never seen that kind of tense face on him though so it might fit.

"How was it with McCormick?"

Tweek blinks. "What?" His whole throat twists in torment.

He shouldn't have looked so much at Craig’s face, but this is probably a rare event to behold.
The only time Craig had – from afar – looked like this, was when someone commented on his guinea pig's fur during a presentation.

"You and the whore." Tweek's mouth gapes at his words. "I didn't think you were that type."

His jaw almost snaps on his tongue when Tweek frowns.

"Are you calling Kenny a whore?"

Craig glares at him. "He did everyone in town, right? That's a whore-"

"You don't know-"

"And you too!"

Tweek blinks in surprise. If it wasn't his head dramatically reverberating the sharp tone, he would be sure that it’s Craig breaking his usual volume. His heart doesn't come up from its sudden drop.

He pushes Craig back. It surprises them both but Tweek doesn’t fail to do it another time without letting the shirt out of his grasp this time.

"Who do—" Lungs empty, refilling up at the thunder strength, he manhandles him one more step before exploding: "Who do you think you are?! You don't know Kenny!"

"He-"

"You don't know him!" Tweek screams louder, now glaring harder than Craig. "If you think Kenny is a whore just because he is popular, that's because you're an asshole and he is better than you!"

Craig's eyes lose some of his hatred and he doesn’t let himself be pushed again. "Twe-"

"You shut up!" He jumps, fist twisting around the tissue. "Kenny is not an asshole who judges people and — I don't regret anything and I would do it again!"

They stare at each other. Air barely between their chests before Tweek lets go.

"You are such a dick.” Tweek spits out.

His mind is loud. Not enough to stop him from being way too angry and he hopes PC heard some of that too.

Tweek flips Craig off when he dares to open his mouth. With a new breath he turns around and stomps toward the opposite. Something burns behind his pupils; anger spitting out more frustrations and taunts at himself.

"Tweek!"

He turns around with two middle fingers. "Suck on that, asshole!" Tweek screams back.

"The nerves! Can you believe it?! Ngh - he was talking like I was stupid and — I should have punched him, right? Right?!"

Kenny hums with one of his eyebrows still up, eyes going around the busy cafe where they have taken shelter at, but he doesn’t comment on Tweek’s volume even when he hears himself thrice.

"Tweek, don't drink when you barely take the time to breathe."

"Why aren't you more angry?!" Tweek snaps with his milkshake clinking for his ears to follow. He grimaces.

"Why are you so fucking angry?" Kenny retorts with a snort. "It's not the first time people say I'm a whore. And Stan kinda is right about Tucker, he is a real douche sometimes. I don't know why you care so much."

Tweek wants to cry, so he swallows another big gulp to fill his cheeks and holds his head with his hands to not kiss the table.

"I don't."

"Well, obviously you do. You almost smashed my car's door when you came back.”

"I just don't like people's bullshit, alright?"

Tweek twitches at his friend's silent hum. He tries to fight the tension under his skin but there is so much.

"Hey." Kenny gently calls. Tweek looks up with a small sigh, taking his straw between his teeth. The smile on Kenny does cheer him up a bit. "At least people think you are with me and not with Craig-"

Tweek chokes and spurts his milkshake out of his nose. He violently coughes, barely hearing Kenny's laughter except when a hand quickly slaps his back.

"Are you alright?" A waiter asks, practically running to their table.

Tweek shakes his head to hide his face.

"Can we just get a glass of water, please?" Kenny says once he clears his amusement out of his throat. "Thanks."

Tweek clumsily hits the top of his chest to cough better, nodding when Kenny’s hand leaves.
"Ass-" Tweek almost spits a slobber.

"The mere idea of you and Craig together almost killed you." Kenny happily comments. "I think that's a sign you shouldn't even think about him."

Tweek faintly nods and blinks hard enough to scare the tears away. Kenny helps him clean the milkshake spilled before the glass of water arrives.

"Thank you."

Kenny watches him – not hiding his smile behind his straw. After he drinks, Tweek feverishly pat his red cheeks with the hope that they aren't as hot as it feels.

"I think even 'Tweek and Kenny' sounds better than 'Tweek and Craig', you know? My name has more sparks."

"Please, stop." he begs, staring hard at the table. "It's not funny."

Kenny stays quiet to his relief. It’s not enough for his skin to cool down, nor for his mind to climb back the fragile stairs of his sanity. There is a weird conflict of indignation and excuses for Craig. Tweek tries not to listen.

"You okay?"

He snorts back. "I'm a fucking ray of sunshine." Tweek says. “This day just can't suck more."

"If it helps, I think the Asian club realized it was a false rumor."

He perks up. "Really?"

Kenny nods, taking out his phone. "I saw some texts passing in their chat. They are still fighting a bit because apparently we aren't the most popular couple."

He frowns and tries to have a look. "You shouldn't even care about that."

"Aw come on, it's fun."

"It's not! Everyone thinks we are — oh," Tweek breathes out.

Kenny glances at him. "What?"

"What if my parents heard?" Tweek whispers, wetting his lips. "They are going to do something stupid and horrible - ngh - I feel it."

"Pfft, whatever. We can give them worse.” Kenny dismisses and pats his hand, anticipating before Tweek that it would go tug at his hair. "Don't worry Tweek, I'm here, alright?" He sips on his milkshake. "I'm here."

Tweek faintly nods, hand glued to the other – taking breath away at sensible brushes. He knows his parents wouldn't mind him being with a guy. There is also no one better than Kenny.

Tweek could say that he loves Kenny.

Their friendship bloomed like a detonator for him.
The first time he was comfortable dancing was with him. That kind of impromptu energy hitting raw — swaying all silly with imagination flying around them. Tweek never fell asleep next to someone before Kenny.

There is always this bright feeling between them. Not quite overwhelming but having this regular pressure somewhere in his heart is enough. It scares him to think there is anything else beside that and how easy it could be squished.

"Do you think Craig was an ass because he is homophobic?"

"That would be hard to be when his sister is all over mine."

Tweek nods. That excuse doesn’t work. Neither is the one about only being homophobic against boys – Craig told him about Clyde and Tolkien.

He glances at Kenny; hairs taking in the sun, ear piercings passing through to break the rhythm – maybe in a week they will be long enough for him to do a short ponytail like he wants to. Kenny is playing with his straw, moving it along the curve of his lips. Tweek doesn’t realize he is staring too until he sees the gleam in his hazelnut eyes.

Sometimes Tweek catches himself thinking that he is in love. Except that there is a difference of intensity and understanding. What he truly never understands is why Butters wouldn't be into Kenny. Maybe Tweek doesn’t like Craig like he should.

"I think I could be in love with you.” Tweek confesses.

Kenny's eyes widen for a beat before they smile. Tweek follows his gaze to their innocent hands.

"Yeah, me too."

Tweek turns back to his milkshake, feeling better as he takes back his hand to pick at the donuts he angrily asked for when they arrived here. He divides one into pieces.

"I think we are like Gimli and Legolas.” Kenny says.

Tweek halts when the incomprehension hits him. "What?"

"You know, from Lord of the Rings-"

"I know that." Tweek dismisses, "I mean what about them are like us."

"They have a cool dynamic like us. Lowkey gay." he explains with a smirk.

"I don't want to be Legolas."

"Obviously not, I'm the one with pretty hair."

Tweek chuckles but nods. "I can see it. We do kick ass."

Kenny laughs and takes his milkshake in hand to settle on his elbow. "To us."

Tweek glances at him before his lips curl up. Their milkshakes quietly click together.