Do I Wanna Know?
Tweek is a good friend.
That’s what Stan said when he helped him to not drink until death at a party; Kenny, when he let him and his sister crash in his garage; Kyle, when they spent a whole night trying to save a group presentation that Stan and Cartman destroyed by ‘accident’. Eric thanked him, once, when he shared his homemade cookies.
A small pride grew around that. It made him confident in his interactions with them. And even if they bring a lot of troubles, Tweek has grown close to them and was almost grateful for his parent’s meth business because it’s how they started to really talk.
Now, even if he is enjoying passing time with them he didn’t sign up his name for the drama around that. Especially the one waiting in the corner since they were thirteen. Kenny named it “five feet apart ‘cause they aren’t gay” and Tweek found it too amusing to not use it. And the two subjects believe that they are talking about the vine.
Tweek wasn’t proud but he bet on Kyle for snapping first, because of his temper, and Kenny put his ten dollars on Stan’s puppy love insisting that he just needs a slight push to realize everything. Their awkward flirting doesn't only bring a bunch of laughing moments, since they also have to deal with Kyle’s bad mood every time Stan went out with someone or basically when someone tried to flirt with him - surprisingly, Wendy had got no hatred from him. And Stan’s ‘justified’ possessiveness which makes him an insufferable bitch at any time has never been an enjoyable part.
It's not Tweek's place to talk about his hypothesis even if he is almost sure about a mutual love. But he didn’t even have the chance to decide.
Kyle - 5:23pm
Tweek I need your opinion on something
Kyle - 5:40pm
Are you seriously watching the fight??
Kyle - 5:44pm
who is winning?
Kyle - 5:46pm
TWEEK ITS IMPORTANT PLEASE
Kyle - 6:12pm
You are dead to me.
Tweek - 6:41pm
WHAT
SORRYIWASWROKING
Tweek - 6:42pm
I FORGOT MY PHIBE AND THEN IH AD TO RUN TO DO MY SHIFT
phone*
Tweek - 6:44pm
Kyle??
Kyle - 6:44pm
Can you talk right now?
Tweek - 6:44pm
ys sorry
I can call you if you want?
Kyle - 6:45pm
No it's fine
You're closing the shop?
Tweek - 6:45pm
yea
but its fine!
Kyle - 6:46pm
Cool
Tweek - 6:46pm
??
whats goingon?
Kyle - 6:47pm
You better keep it to yourself
And be honest
Tweek - 6:47
promise
Kyle - 6:48pm
Davíd asked me out
Tweek - 6:50pm
WHAT
when
WHAT ABOUT STAN
Kyle - 6:50pm
WHAT
KENNY FUCKING TOLD YOU?!
Tweek - 6:50pm
HE DIDNT
ISWEAR
Tweek - 6:52pm
its just kind of obviousl;;
Tweek - 7:02pm
Kyle I swear no one told me about it
I also told no one obviously
Kyle - 7:02pm
Tweek.
Is that fucking stupid vine you and Kenny keep saying a code for me and Stan
Because I swear I will smash your face
Tweek - 7:02pm
KENNY STARTED IT
Kyle - 7:02pm
OMFG
Tweek - 7:02pm
but tell me about davíd? whats going on
Kyle - 7:05pm
I'm telling you NOTHING
Tweek - 7:05pm
how is it my fault?!
you cant just drop this and leave now!
KYLE
Tweek - 7:06pm
look
Kenny and I never mocked you guys
its just
we had to talk about it??
Tweek - 7:08pm
are you going out iwth Davíd now?
Kyle - 7:08pm
I thought you didn't know about Stan that's WHY I wanted to talk about it with YOU
Tweek - 7:08pm
uh well it doesn't change anything? does it?
I mean I know you like Stan but thats it??
Tweek - 7:09pm
is Davíd in love with you??
Kyle - 7:09pm
No idea
He knows though
About Stan
Tweek - 7:10pm
wtf really?
how?
Kyle - 7:10pm
I told him before like a while ago
Davíd said it could help me move on
Tweek - 7:11pm
MOVE ON?
waIT
You want to move on??
Kyle - 7:12pm
I don't know
but he seemed pretty honest?
I mean Davíd has always been a great guy and we get along
I never thought of him like that though
Tweek - 7:12pm
true I dont think he would offer that if hejust anted sex or whatever..
are you going to say yes?
Kyle - 7:15pm
no fucking idea
Don't tell anyone
NO ONE
I will talk to you tomorrow
Tweek - 7:15pm
wait kyle
David asked out Kyle. Simply like that. Is it easy? Can you actually just put one word behind another without biting on your tongue to ask someone out?
Tweek had planned his whole night to master a game on the hardcore mode - instead he lost his concentration and just stared at the ceiling after he threw the controller at the bottom of his bed trying to think of Kyle’s problem.
Was it even a problem? He is absolutely not the person to ask for love advice. Tempted to hide in a locker to take a picture of Craig changing after sport isn’t something so lovely after all. Thanks to the internet he tried to research some information about it.
Kyle wants to move on? Is that even possible when you are in love with your ‘Super Best Friend’?
Tweek was tempted to text Kenny. But it's not exactly his place to share this. He still hoped that Kyle somehow decided that he should talk about it with Kenny; he has more knowledge about this part of life.
What will happen to Stan if Kyle goes out with David? Tweek and Kenny are sure that he has some feelings more than friendship for Kyle. But now there is David.
Who is, well, a nice guy. He is calm but still energetic and funny in a smart way. It’s true that Kyle became good friends with him since he moved here, but close enough for Kyle to tell him about his feelings for his SBF? Apparently, yeah. They share the Spanish classes and some others. Group work often happens with David if they have a free spot.
David must have noticed how the two childhood friends are around each other, so he must have thought about it - especially if Kyle straight up talked about it. Tweek should have asked Kyle what he thinks of David, to have a vague idea if at least he is attracted to him.
Well, David is average - in Tweek's humble opinion. Not a ball of muscles and seems confident in himself. Plus he is very chill and nice, always smelling like the good food his parents prepare. It's rare but things can really anger him but that rarely happens. Tweek is sure that only Cartman did that and well, it's the truth for everyone.
When Tweek landed at school the next morning, he was conflicted to see Kyle behaving like usual without a trace of David who could have easily passed by. Tweek has continued to text him during the night, hoping to have more information - like if they are together - but stayed ignored.
Kenny didn’t talk about it with Tweek. Probably because he doesn't know, otherwise he would be bursting. Especially when he is a firm believer in Stan and Kyle's mutual love.
Tweek felt bad during the first hour since he didn’t share about it to Kenny. It worsened when he went to his physics class, which was only with Kyle. And he has tried to ignore the burning curiosity on his lips but he fails with great pleasure.
“You… didn’t tell me the rest about yesterday," Tweek whispers, writing on his sheet without sincere concentration, and looks at Kyle's focused glare.
“About what?”
“Well -urgh- you know,” he trails off and glances for a brief moment at the teacher. "You and David?”
“Oh right,” Kyle exclaims and shuffles through his papers before noting something else on the exercise sheet. “We are together.”
Tweek slowly blinks at him, until Kyle asks him if he plans to do his sheet and takes it at his lack of response.
“Together? You said yes?”
“Yes. I called him last night and we decided on that,” he calmly explains, starting the new sheet.
“But— Stan?” The blond is slightly deranged by the news. It's not the fact that they are together now that bothers him, it’s more the fact that he is sure that Kyle loves Stan and not David. “And—“
“Tweek, stop talking about that. I’m trying to work.”
“But it’s important.” He argues, glancing at the silent classroom. His eyes instinctively stop on Craig’s back next to Jimmy. “I’m not sure that’s, uh, the best plan.”
His gaze returns, with a pronounced reluctance, to Kyle who has stopped working to look with pure annoyance at an invisible point. His piercing eyes turn to the blond.
“So what. I can’t try to move on because you think that my best friend, who I’ve known since we were four and who only went out with girls and had sex with them,” he pauses, dramatically with a deep breath, and Tweek feels the point he was showing. “You think that he has feelings for me and I should not try to go out with David?”
The thing with Kyle is that even when his voice is really low, he can still pass the message he wants to–here it's an anger he has been trying to bury for a long time.
Tweek anxiously stares at him, without words before some finally make their way to his tongue. “Maybe you should… talk to him?”
Kyle lets out a long and deep sigh escape his mouth. His face falls into his hands. “Look, Stan prefers women, which it’s okay and-“
“Maybe not! If you tell him then he will have to imagine it, you know? So he will realize,” Tweek babbles out, fearing that it's too late.
“We tried."
“Hum, what?” He exclaims after a long pause where his eyes keep widening at the sight of Kyle's reddening cheeks.
Kyle glances between him and the professor writing on the board; the small groan he makes is from pure embarrassment.
“When Kenny talked about sex with men and women and everything, well you also told us that you have never been interested in girls, right?”
Craig is not a girl so...
“Yeah,” he agrees with half of his attention, but quickly catches the rest back in a fist when his eyes almost fly to his back.
“With that we were wondering how do you know if it’s not too late to think about it since we were already fourteen.” Kyle stops on his tracks, eyes moving absentmindedly through the sheet before he closes them with a small sigh.
“And?”
“For short, Stan had the idea to kiss to know if we are attracted to men or not.” Tweek sees his face grasping back the previous fury he had on before. Kyle straightens on his chair with a new voice. “And with that, I started to realize a lot of things while Stan just never talked about it again and went to have sex with some ugly, unworthy— bitches.” Tweek quickly glances toward the professor when Kyle's voice gets louder and angrier. “So yes. I think I made the best choice here and I have the right to do that instead of continuing to watch him kiss someone and wish to be at their fucking place, Tweek.”
He jumps when Kyle slams his book open. The whole speech makes him stare at the desk without great reflections. Knowing that his life is on trial, he prefers to stay quiet and try to focus on class. It works well enough that he doesn't realise he survives until lunch.
“No– like I said, they can’t win,” Stan insists, munching around his food.
“I’m not sure about that,” Kenny retorts with only half of his interest, since he just started an argument for kicks during lunch.
“We kicked their asses last time!”
“Didn’t count, it was a friendly one.”
Tweek glances between the two, slowly eating. His whole morning has been full of an inside argument to decide whether to talk about it with Kenny. He knows it’s not his place—not at all. But he feels like he has to do something.
“What’s up guys?” Clyde greets, putting down his tray next to Kenny’s.
The rest of his friends naturally follow, saying hi. Tweek’s eyes immediately look up to the tallest one who sulkily sits next to a glaring Stan, almost right in front of Tweek. Craig’s beautiful dark green awesome se— eyes met his and he had to remind himself that he has food in his mouth to not choke or open his mouth.
“Can’t you move your ass somewhere else? I was keeping a seat for Kyle,” Stan hisses with a frown.
“Do I care?” He retorts not giving him a glance before he dives in his plate.
“Fuck you,” Stan bites and starts to push him into Token to make them move.
The latter who just sighs, kindly sliding away to make some space but Craig ignores and fights back. Tweek watches them before taking a look around, surprised that Kyle isn’t even here yet.
He should also tell Kenny. It would be a good idea. Maybe he will have some advice for their friends or just make Tweek less anxious about what he may have done. Maybe he should have showed up at Kyle’s house last night to force him to talk.
“Why the fuck are you guys at your table?” Cartman grunts out when he shows up, dumping his tray.
“It’s not your ta-table,” Jimmy replies before Token slightly glares at Cartman when he sits, probably kicking him at the same time, next to him.
“There isn’t any other free anyway,” Token comments.
“Whatever. Don’t talk to me. Where is the jew?”
“Still in the line,” Stan says, glancing at the still long line.
Cartman huffs before he loudly starts to eat his meat. Tweek is more than happy to not be next to him but he is still bothered by Cartman’s habit to shift on his seat, since he is right next to Jimmy, until he has enough space for his ass. He prefers to be on the extremety of benches, for pure survival purposes, but his head has been stuck around Kyle dating Davíd, so that he easily missed Kenny taking his usual spot. At least he does a pretty good job and doesn’t budge one bit even if Tweek ends up smushed against him.
“Are you going to the match?” Kenny asks him, half of a frie between his lips.
“No, I have my shift,” Tweek explains with a slight pout, “I already missed one hour yesterday, so I need to do it.”
“You missed the bus?”
“Yeah,” he sighs out, playing with his last piece of meat as he still tries to decide whether to tell him or not.
“Sounds hard,” Clyde comments, looking at them with his phone in hand. “My dad almost never asks me to help him at the shop.”
“That’s because you give discounts to everyone,” Craig points out.
“Shut up, I’m awesome! It’s thanks to me you got these sick shoes.”
Tweek forgets to look away when another fork of mashed potatoes reaches Craig’s lips; thankfully Kenny’s shoulder nudges him back to earth.
“You done?” He picks at Tweek’s half-eaten meat with his own fork before he swaps their plates at his small nod.
“Hey guys.” Kevin joins their table, casually sitting down next to Token as if they aren’t already too many for one table.
“Hey, you good Kev’? How is Red?”
“Yeah keep your girl on a leash dude,” Cartman adds but is ignored - the well-known decision of most people in South Park.
“Why?”
“She did almost kill a girl,” Stan clarifies.
Tweek isn’t surprised about how nonchalant Kevin is.
“She only has a scratch on her face,” he admits after a sigh, “and well, bruises everywhere else.”
Craig almost snorts at that, but most of his expression stays in the slight arch of his eyebrows.
“Wait… Is that a freak-freak-freaking hickey?” Jimmy exclaims, gathering everyone’s attention onto Kevin who startles and tries to put up his collar in his panic.
“Jesus,” Tweek exhales with disbelief, still clearly being able to see the red spot on his neck.
“That’s clearly from angry sex, man I’m jealous!” Kenny teases with a loud chuckle, turning their classmate even redder.
“Niiiice,” Clyde nods.
“Shut up guys,” Kevin tries to say but his voice falls from a few octaves and he focuses on his plate.
“I did it once,” Jimmy starts with a smirk and Token shoots him an amused glance, “with that girl from Hooters a-a-and it’s actually one of my best ti-time.”
“You know who is into that? Definitely Kyle.” Stan snaps his head at Kenny’s comment who just grins further.
“It’s not that surprising from Red, she has a temper.”
“Stop talking about that, Clyde.”
“Man you two must fuck like crazy!”
“And I’m done.”
Tweek is the first to notice Craig abruptly standing up, his trail still half-full. He ignores Kenny and Jimmy’s laughter. Clyde tries to convince him to come back but Craig walks out of the canteen after he threw the rest of his meal.
“He is no fun,” Kenny chuckles and turns back at the plate in front of him.
“I think you would react the same if it was about your cousin or sister, Kenny,” Token comments, earning a frown from him.
“What Karen?” He glares at the whole table. “Who said something about her?”
“Nobody,” Eric groans, “no one fucking care about your poor sister.”
“Kyle!”
Tweek’s head snaps up at Stan’s call who waves his hand at Kyle for him to see their table, his mood has drastically improved ever since Craig left the table. Tweek stiffens at the sight of Davíd next to Kyle, each having a tray, and he glances at Stan, appearing to be oblivious about what is between them.
“We are going to sit elsewhere. There is not really a room for us,” Kyle admits, looking at their table - although Tweek is pretty sure he planned to eat with Davíd either way.
“Wait,” Stan blurts out, “we can make some space.”
“It’s okay, Stan,” Kyle cuts with an easy smile, “I will just eat with Davíd today.”
Tweek feels bad, clearly seeing how Stan’s mood drops as Kenny nudges him with a pointed look of ‘how gay is that’, and he seems to not realise Kyle is walking away.
“Good, I won’t puke,” Cartman sarcastically notes.
Stan’s face slowly fades into a frustrated and disbelieving mood, glaring at his tray before pushing it away. Tweek realises he is staring too hard when Kenny shows up his face with a doubtful scowl.
He easily recognizes the sign that Kenny is going to bother him until he speaks; despite all these years he hasn’t figured out how he can so easily read him. At least, it eases Tweek to decide to tell everything to him.
“They are what?!”
“Together,” Tweek repeats, balancing his weight on his feet and looking at the bathroom wall.
“How’d that fucking happened?” Kenny blurts out and almost fully turns away from the urinal to face him.
“Oh my God! Don’t turn!” He shrieks, snapping his head at the other side of the empty restroom just in case his friend zips up his pants in front of him. “I hoped Kyle would have told you or something.”
“He should have guessed that I would have told him that’s a stupid plan. If he wants to make out with someone there is Stan right next door!” Kenny argues as he washes his hands. “Though Davíd is a nice guy, Stan will be a bitch if he knows though.”
“Well maybe he won’t tell him?”
Kenny glances at him in the mirror, grabbing some tissues. “Stan is oblivious sometimes but not that much. I’m just surprised that Davíd still asked him out if he knows they are into each other.”
“Do you think Davíd actually has feelings?” He squeaks out. “Like it’s serious to him and he hopes that Kyle will have feelings for him too? We almost never hung out with Davíd now that I think about it… Maybe we should tell Stan.”
“Kyle is going to be pissy at everyone and Stan will be crying and probably won’t even tell him his feelings. He will come back to his senses when Davíd fucks him.”
“What?”
“Dude, Kyle is a virgin and he is trying to ‘move on’,” Kenny says with the quotation mark gesture and leaves the sink, “and trust me, best way is sex. Maybe they already did at their so-called Spanish project. Kyle will come back soon enough, they always do that.”
“I don’t think Kyle works like you, Kenny,” he mutters back and follows him out of the bashroom. “But maybe it’s best for Kyle? If Stan and him already kissed before and it was bad then maybe they actually won’t work together.”
Kenny gasps, almost shrieking, and lets himself fall onto him, knocking them both against a locker. “Tweek, I will die if they don’t get together,” he articulates and completely ignores his complaints for carrying him. “I will have to chop my dick off if Stan and Kyle aren’t together this year, Tweek. I can’t let that happen, I haven’t hung out years with them to not see their fucking pining end with a dick in someone’s ass.”
Tweek dryly chuckles to not actually find it funny, despite agreeing with the feeling, as Kenny finally gets on his two feet.
“We already tried talking to them before,” Tweek complains with a groan, wishing he could skip classes. “If Kyle is happy with him then okay but it’s so weird!”
“No worries. My only faith is in my gay-dar and it has never betrayed me,” Kenny declares with a wide smile.
He bites down on his laughter to not have it echo in the empty corridor and he clears his throat before entering their classroom. Stan has gone ahead without them and they join him at the three tables assembled together. Tweek hopes his friend can’t see his nerves when he replies to his smile. They brought their tables together since they have, again, another class where they have a group project. Tweek suspects that the teachers just use this excuse to work less, as they insist that it’s a good experience to learn how to work as a team and to develop their research skills.
“Stan, give me your phone for a sec’,” Kenny sweetly asks, adding a smile at his doubtful frown.
“Why?”
“I have no battery and I need to check something for the project,” he begs, too genuinely, but he gets the phone.
“Don’t change my contacts again,” Stan warns, probably supposing that Kenny is bored.
He hums back as a reply and focuses on his phone. Tweek decides to focus on their assignment, not wanting to bring that home, but his mind quickly drifts off when Craig walks in the room. He is no medium but he recognizes Clyde chatting, coming closer to the door, and being so focused on Craig probably made him more sensible to the rest of his friends too. He doesn’t catch on what Clyde is rambling about, far more dedicated to look at Craig. Tweek tries to be as natural as possible, letting his eyes follow them heading to their seats, casually shifting his head as if to work around a pain in his neck.
When Craig sits down, he can only see from his shoulders and at his dismay, the usual chullo hat is over the few strands of his shining hair. Tweek’s fingers slightly spasms against his own cheek when Craig’s hand brushes the end of his hat before it settles as a fist to hold his head up. By the way he is positioning himself - arms mostly supporting his head with his chair pushed away so his body is at a good level - Tweej could easily guess that is going to try to sleep.
“Tweek, can we come by at the shop later?”
“What?” His body snaps back to face his friends.
“After my football game,” Stan specifies, “you said you have work but we could hang out after.”
“Yes, sure.”
“Is Kyle coming to watch the match too?” Kenny cuts in, with most of his focus on the phone.
“What? Of course.”
Tweek is about to look back at his favorite back when the teacher walks in, already asking them to continue working on their group project. He has zoned out in their project, slowly working before he startles at a kick. His eyes fall onto the homepage of PornHub.
“Guess what I found,” Kenny sings out under his breath as he shakes Stan’s phone like keys to a baby. Tweek has the reflex to not squeak in the middle of the class but Stan still catches on his reaction; it’s not quick enough to catch back his phone as Kenny scrolls. “Cute ginger, sexy redhead— oh bondage? Nice.”
Tweek quickly looks at Stan, more crimson than Clyde’s flashy red jacket. He gapes, eyes wide and pleading for help.
“You put that in,” Stan stammers out with a creaky and dying of embarrassment voice.
“Hey spanking? Nice stuff Sta-“
“Fuck you!” He shouts and tries to grab his phone as Kenny snickers with an evil smirk. “Give it back, you pervert!“
“What is that?!”
They all look up to catch their teacher right behind Stan, who whitens so fast he is close to death. “Shit.”
Kenny looks innocently surprised and doesn’t even try to hide the phone from their eyes.
“Oh my God! What are you watching in class?!” She screams, fuming and glaring at them - almost preparing themselves to slap.
“Documentation?”
Tweek hides his face in his hands against the table at Kenny’s blunt response.
“On PornHub?!”
“We only looked at the titles,” he retorts.
“Don’t say we!” Tweek hisses, embarrassed and hoping his arms are enough to hide his face.
“And I should be happy because you didn’t click on one of those filthy videos?!” She asks in disbelief.
“What’s the big deal? We didn’t watch it.”
“Shut the fuck up Kenny,” Stan mutters. But another student yells ‘yet’ at the same time, while the rest of the class chuckle.
“You three just got detention on Saturday morning!”
“What?! I -argh- can’t!” Tweek blurts out, straightening, but the teacher already makesher way to her desk with Stan’s phone.
“My phone!”
“I will keep it until the end of the hour, so you three can concentrate on something else more useful,” she exclaims.
“Like porn?” Kenny cuts.
“McCormick!”
Tweek groans as the teacher warns them of an extended detention and keeping the phone. Stan is pinching the bridge of his nose with his face still fuming red. Clyde barks out a loud laugh, one he obviously tried to keep down, which just makes Tweek shrink in his seat when he remembers Craig is right there. He obviously hasn’t missed any of this, even more when Jimmy starts to joke about it.
“Why the fuck did you do that?!” Stan hisses, trying to keep his voice as low as possible and clearly kicking Kenny under the table. “How did you even find my search history when I always erase it?!”
“It’s REAL?!” Tweek shouts, looking up before blushing at his volume.
“I have my ways,” Kenny snickers. “I know everything. But damn you have a redhead kink? Something you want to share, my dear buddy, Stanley Marsh?”
“You came up with that.” He articulates but his skin is slowly going back to a boiling point.
Tweek mouths a ‘what’ to Kenny when Stan decides to focus on their project.
Kenny has this sly knowing look. “They are sexy,” he agrees. “Had my phase too, no worries. Maybe I can send you my fav-”
“Shut the fuck up before I fucking kill you.”
The class still hasn’t managed to truly quiet down, chuckling amongst them and obviously pointing at them. Tweek is starting to have an intense headache and he hopes that they can find answers for this project easily on the internet.
His dad’s answer to his detention is quite simple: you will get another shift on Sunday, no biggies! Not that Tweek expects anything else. Now he will have to be the one guy who has to wake up after Bebe’s party, which has been why he asked to not work on Sunday, without disturbing the others.
He shuts his locker with too much strength but he can’t bring himself to care. At least he has a free hour now. Even after all these years, and becoming closer to Kenny to not be the third-wheel around Stan and Kyle, he still doesn’t really understand what his friend had tried to do here. To prove Stan is into Kyle? Well, it’s not new and Tweek, with his cautious confidence, could see that it’s at least definitely physical attraction. Some people described Kyle as an ‘ugly duckling’ who just grew up better than anyone expected - comments that Tweek finds frankly rude - but Kyle has his charms.
Maybe he is biased because of their friendship or his preferences for Craig; which doesn’t prove anything. Tweek doesn’t like porn, it makes him uncomfortable as he can’t help but put himself in the actors’ shoes and that there are cameras around.
He can’t help but wonder if Craig is– receptive to this kind of thing. What would he watch? The few girls he dated back when they were kids weren’t that similar, plus 12 years-old crushes probably don't count in that kind of thing. There are brief gossips about Craig dating this chick or dude but nothing quite official so Tweek has no hints.
Tweek unlocks his thermos with precaution as he clears his throat to not let his thoughts wander further. The coffee settles down nicely in his stomach, stopping the butterflies from appearing. He peeks into his small bag where a few cookies are waiting for him, done the day before.
It’s only a guess but his body is probably messed up because of the meth, making him have these annoying twitches and noises; without mentioning how coffee had been the only thing he could completely digest since he was a kid. Not that he hasn’t realised he is a mess. Anyhow, it slowly got better - probably thanks to his friends - and now he is actually hungry. Not enough to finish a whole plate most of the time but once he stops thinking, hanging out with his friends, he actually eats like anyone else. He took the habit of bringing some snacks, easy for him as he bakes a lot. He isn’t anorexic, there is a bit of fat to actually grab on, only recently - but he still wants to get more on, maybe even muscles, so he doesn’t look like a plain white stick of rotten bread.
Tweek has no idea if he is jealous of Craig’s muscles, just enough to be sinful but not too much– frankly, he looks like a Greek statue but Tweek knows it’s just his imagination because Stan has way more muscles, football and all. But Tweek has no urge to look at him like that.
His finger edges over his phone album, where he knows he saved a picture of Craig in a bath suit. He tries to swallow his traitorous thoughts but dismisses the temptation, easing his urge into one of his cookies. Tweek isn’t a freaky pervert - he just crooked the hang-out pictures from that time most of their class ended up at the swimming pool.
Either way, eating a bit whenever he is hungry helps him since he rarely fully eats a meal. Kenny had tried, only a moment, to force him to eat more in exchange for coffee. But Tweek also tries to reduce his coffee income so it hasn't helped.
His plan is to go to the library or maybe find a spot outside if the weather isn’t bad. But his feet instinctively slow down, even before he realises that Craig is in his eyesight.
Craig Tucker is simply sitting on a bench. With a finger in his nose.
It’s disgusting, unsanitary, tasting like shit, something that only an eight year old would still do– and Tweek still loves him.
The disgusting but handsomest guy, maybe of the whole country but at least of the school, looks away from his disgusting finger when he catches on Tweek’s footsteps. His eyes slightly widen once he notices him, barely noticeable for anyone else than Tweek, as he quickly throws away his booger.
Tweek glances at the door beside the bench, just to acknowledge what he can be doing here.
“You need the nurse?” He blurts out when his worry picks up like a volcano once his eyes properly meet Craig’s again.
“Uh, no,” he clears his throat and leans back against the wall. Tweek tries to assume he isn’t flustered but his tone is shyer than usual. “Clyde needed to speak with the nurse.”
“Is he okay?”
He shrugs and Tweek can’t believe he still finds his stoic demeanor sexy, especially when he knows that Clyde could have broken his two arms and Craig would continue to look unbothered.
“He didn’t want to go alone so he forced me to follow. I have no idea what he wants with her.”
“Oh.”
Tweek never finds something smart to say, even more in front of Craig, and he is torn apart from walking away to not ridiculise himself more or stay. Craig is already scrolling on his phone, probably Tumblr by the look of it. At least he doesn’t comment on what happened in class and the whole porn debacle.
“Right,” Tweek exclaims before his hand plays with another cookie in his small paper bag, “are you -ngh- hungry?”
He notices that Craig has stayed on the same post when he looks up. His mouth briefly forgets what he wanted to say.
“You didn’t eat your lunch today. Because of -ngh- Kevin’s—“
“I don’t want to hear about my cousin and what she does,” he warns, though that’s what Tweek assumes he is doing behind his calm facade.
A chuckle escapes him and uses his brief burst of bravery to offer the rest of his cookies in his paper bag. He would like to directly hand it but his hands are pretty moist from his anxiety and he doesn’t want to disgust Craig– although Tweek might also freak out too much if they even brush elbows.
“You must be -ngh- hungry,” he articulates to say before his throat closes up when he smells Craig’s usual laundry smell. “I’m full and I don’t want to throw it away.”
Craig almost arches up an eyebrow but he quickly grabs the bag to look inside. Tweek must have guessed right that he is hungry.
“Cookies, cool.”
Tweek’s hand flinches when he grabs one to immediately take a bite. Crumbs stay on his lips and he feels a sudden urge to have his mouth busy so he takes out his thermos to not try to kiss anyone. It squeaks in his grip as his eyes stay highly focused on Craig’s throat swallowing and the few crumbs caught by his tongue– Jesus Tweek is going to hell, isn’t he? Is that normal? He wants his tongue in there and vice-versa. Maybe he should go to church.
“It’s good. You are good,” Craig comments after clearing his throat.
He coughs around his coffee and swipes at his mouth. “What? Wha-what do you mean?”
“The cookies,” he says, not quite looking at him, “you are good at making them.”
He is already eating another one. Tweek bites on lips and glances down at his shoes.
“Uh, well they’re my mother’s. She did them,” Tweek explains, bitterly realizing that for the one time he didn’t have the strength to bake, having to rely on the coffee shop’s products. “I, er, didn’t have the time to bake at home lately.”
Craig stares at him, one cheek puffy and odd on his usual stone-like face - which Tweek finds even more endearing, until he articulates an ‘oh’ and a lot of crumbs fly out.
“Oh, just thought it was yours since you bring stuff sometimes. Clyde mentionned it or something.”
“I do,” Tweek admits and nervously curls his toes in his shoes. “They mostly end up at the shop if they aren’t bad. I… Sometimes I do it on purpose to have something to eat.” Absentmindly, he scratches his thermos before the noise irks him. “I can’t eat everything, so I try to give most of it.” His babble is starting to make him flush and his hands are sweating so much he will lose his thermos. “I guess Cartman is -argh- useful for that. Eating everything and -urgh- stuff… But I can give you some if you want!”
His lungs give out everything in what seems like a marathon. Tweek tries to take deep discreet breaths but he feels over-exposed near Craig, which he can’t fight off or even try to get away from.
“Yes,” Craig answers, “they are good but I prefer the shop’s pastries. Even the ones you don’t sell should be great.”
“Uh, well, I don’t know. They’re edible? Cartman always finds something to complain about, ngh, but they are not at the shop for these reasons.”
“You could give him shit to eat and he wouldn’t be able to taste the difference.”
“Oh,” Tweek chokes around the short noise and Craig looks up, somewhat surprised, before he straightens up.
“I mean that he sucks,” he blurts out, “your baking is great. Just that he is the last person you should ask about taste. He probably doesn’t even know how to wipe his own ass.”
Tweek understood but had tried to not laugh at loud for the nurse to complain about the noise. Craig’s explanation sounds, while genuine, so worried as if he insulted him; even if he didn’t like his baking, it would sting sure, but Tweek wouldn’t take it like a gunshot. He tries to stop smiling but he isn’t sure it works so he looks away.
“It’s fine.”
“Bring some next time, at least I would appreciate them unlike Fatass,” Craig sort-of requests, almost smiling.
Tweek bites on his lips and hopes he doesn’t notice that he sways on his toes, offering a shaky nod. His blood pressure is definitely way beyond natural and his heart seems to be under his fingertips by how it feels. He could see just the tips of Craig’s teeth, which is rare as he barely even smiles; still, he wishes he had seen them when he still had braces.
“Sure, yeah -ngh- cool,” he squeaks back, hands clenching around his thermos against his chest. “I— havetogo!”
He hopes Craig isn’t upset or has more to say, as he can’t help but run away. They had a whole conversation! Somewhat normal, he thinks. Tweek is delighted about it, even managing to help Craig with a snack.
Hopefully, he hasn’t looked weird. Maybe a bit sweaty. Though it’s not like Tweek wants Craig to notice him in the first place; well, maybe a little. Anyhow, the bubbling overwhelming mess inside of him is staying contained.
He is lucky that Craig doesn’t care much about people - otherwise he would have probably noticed that Tweek is a freak. The idea that he may have any small idea of what Tweek thinks and feels for him would be the worst thing that happens to him, even after the meth thing. It would be his own apocalypse.
The run leaves his mind blurry, forcing him to slow down and actually take a breath that doesn’t involve the smallest thought of Craig’s laundry detergent. He could have tried to stay with Craig - bringing up Clyde’s whereabouts - just to sit next to him. But Tweek’s heart would have definitely given out, as if it didn’t almost happen with just one conversation.
The holidays clearly made Tweek lose his previous self-control around Craig. He has only seen him once by accident at the pool and that’s it, he should have moved on at this point. Tweek can’t even ask his friends if he is a real creep without admitting his obsession with Craig.
He reaches one of the main corridors, trying to stay away from the nurse office, and he notices Bebe in the middle of it. She is all alone at her locker, hastily wiping at her face.
“Bebe?!” His voice jumps out. “Why are you crying?! What happened?”
Even before he reaches her, it’s clear her eyes are very red.
“Hi Tweek,” she mutters under her breath and brushes two fingers under her eyes.
“Did someone hit you?” He asks with a look around but no one is around.
“What? No,” Bebe scoffs out and she leans her head backward when tears come back up. “I’m good.”
“But you are crying Bebe,” he whispers and carefully brings his hand against her back, hoping to comfort her. “What is it?”
She looks at him, almost smiling and Tweek almost believes he is comforting. But her eyes quickly water up and she sobs.
“He is dead.”
“Ohmygod! Who?!”
“I loved him so much,” she cries and throws herself against him. He awkwardly hugs her, trying to not let his thermos fall. “He was so kind— it’s meaningless without him!”
Her grip tightens around him but Tweek is trying to not be rude so he lets her do it. He can’t recall if he has heard any of her close friends or family members have been sick. The school would have sent her home. She is still sobbing so he tries to not ask. He wishes he had kept a cookie for her now.
“I’m sorry,” he whispers against her head, having no idea how to cheer her up. Maybe he should call one of the girls. “Do you want me to go look for someone? Wendy, Lola or—?”
“No!” Bebe grabs him by the shoulder when he moves. “Definitely not, they can’t know.”
“What? But-”
“They can’t,” she insists, putting more strength in her grip.
Her makeup is almost impeccable despite the fact that she just cried. Maybe she is worried about showing her face to her friends after crying, Tweek can’t really guess. Although he can understand and respect the feeling.
“Okay… Shouldn’t you go home?” He suggests, offering a small smile.
“No, I won’t stop to think about it,” she argues and takes out a tissue from her locker. “I want a milkshake.”
“You don’t have class?”
“Whatever, we can skip,” Bebe huffs back and puts all her books in the locker, closing it.
“We? What?” He is about to disagree, not looking forward to getting into more troubles when he already got detention in the morning, but her sad face stops him. “Nrgh– okay…”
Craig isn’t even in his next class so it isn’t a big loss.
“Aw thank you hon’,” she cheers, loosely hugging him and Tweek lets her do. “We can get a milkshake at the mall.”
“I don’t really have money Bebe,” Tweek admits but she doesn’t change her mind as she drags him toward the exit.
“No big deal, we will share the milkshake. Let’s go, I don't want to stay in this depressing hole.”
He follows her without another word but he is surprised that her mood improved so quickly. Milkshakes are that effective maybe.
They take the bus as Bebe hadn’t taken her car to school today. It’s only because they are in the middle of people that he doesn’t ask more about the death so he simply watches her put a bit of makeup on again. Tweek is still surprised that they became sort of good friends ever since middle school. He isn’t a ‘cool guy’ and far from one of the ‘guys to have in your exes list’; he is pretty sure at first it’s because he is blond that she forced their first hangouts on him. She acted like Tweek had been murdered that time he and Stan dyed their hair together.
Annie is also in the ‘blond gang’ - only South Park kids - and their gang only eat together from time to time and gossip; which Kenny loves as well as Butters. Well, not Butters since the start of the new school year. He changed schools this year out of nowhere and he barely answers any text. Annie confirms what Kenny said and even went to his parents with Bebe - to use their cute girl aura - but they said phones are forbidden at Butters’ new highschool. Tweek doesn’t think he is close enough to text Butters out of nowhere like this, especially when it sounds like he is fucking dead.
Bebe asks to go check a shop, just quickly, because she noticed pants she wants. Tweek agrees, doubting that it will be fast, and looks for a spot near the exit to check his phone. He swallows down a sigh when he realises his groupchat keeps having new messages.
-I suck dicks: Who is going to Bebe lame party
WHO CHANGED THE SURNAME
-The guy who fucked your mom: Stan
-PornHub Guy: no
OMG FUCK YOU KENNY
-I suck dicks: Lmao what’s that name
Sucker
-PornHub Guy: Shut Up Fatass
You told me that you have no battery you asshole
-The guy who fucked your mom: I found someone with a cable
-PornHub Guy: You were literally with me and Kyle five minutes ago
You went to the toilet
-The guy who fucked your mom: yea
I’m peeing and charging my phone
I’m magic Stanley
-I suck dicks: can one of your ugly asses answer me??
-PornHub Guy: Bebe invited everyone from South Park
-I will speak Spanish between your legs: “The old crew” as she said
What the hell
Kenny give us back admins rights
-The guy who fucked your mom: My hands are full buddy
-I suck dicks: Suits you ugly Jew
Taking Spanish just to suck dicks
-I will speak Spanish between your legs: Shut up Cartman
It’s one of the international language
-I suck dicks: it’s a dumb language which is just a bad copy of the best ones
-I will speak Spanish between your legs: Don’t say German
-I suck dicks: Like German
FUCK YOU
IT’S A BEAUTIFUL LANGUAGE
A COUNTRY WHO HAD BIG FIGURES
-PornHub Guy: Guys
-I will speak Spanish between your legs: YOU JUST TOOK GERMAN BECAUSE OF HITLER
THE ASSHOLE WHO STARTED WORLD WAR II AND KILLED MILLIONS OF PEOPLE
-I suck dicks: HE UNITED A WHOLE COUNTRY
HE HAD EVERYTHING
-The guy who fucked your mom: I just made the biggest shit ever
looks like hitler
-I will speak Spanish between your legs: Die with your delusions Cartman
-The guy who fucked your mom: I’m taking a pic
-PornHub Guy: Kenny
The names
-The guy who fucked your mom: I’m doing a photo shooting wait
Where is Tweek?
-PornHub Guy: No idea
-I will speak Spanish between your legs: I texted him but no response
What’s with this name?
-The guy who fucked your mom: Short story I fucked your mom
and he sucks dicks
-I sick dicks: KENNY CHANGE IT
-I will speak Spanish between your legs: I was asking about @PornHub Guy, he won’t tell me
-PornHub Guy: It’s just Kenny’s stupid jokes!
-The guy who fucked your mom: He was looking at PornHub in literature
-I will speak Spanish between your legs: LMAO WHAT?
-PornHub Guy: KENNY WAS ON MY PHONE
-I suck dicks: What video were you looking at?
-PornHub Guy: NONE
-The guy who fucked your mom: I was about to start the one called
-PornHub Guy: Kenny
-The guy who fucked your mom: “Sexy ginger having his lovely and creamy punishment”
-I suck dicks: Screened.
-PornHub Guy: OMG NO
I NEVER WATCHED THAT
WHERE DOES THIS TITLE COME FROM
IT’S NOT ME
-The guy who fucked your mom: Are you going to spank me Stanley?
-I will speak Spanish between your legs: I’m dying
-I suck dicks: Damn kinky
And I was stuck with Kyle and Token
Working
-I will speak Spanish between your legs: We won’t have to work the night before the last day
Don’t complain when you did NOTHING
-I suck dicks: Shutup ginger or Stan will spank you
-The guy who fucked your mom: SHQAPBDOW
-I suck dicks: don’t thank me Stanley
-PornHub Guy: You are so dead to me
Everyone of you
-The guy who fucked your mom: lmao what are you going to do?
you will just spank your asses dude
-PornHub Guy: I DON’T WATCH THAT
STOP INVENTING STUFF
-The guy who fucked your mom: okay but can I spank you
-I suck dicks: Screenshot your history browse or you are a lying bitch
-PornHub Guy: fuck you
I don’t have one
Kenny invented stuff
-The guy who fucked your mom: no
Im magic
-PornHub Guy: Shut the fuck up
-I will speak Spanish between your legs: There will be everyone from elementary school
Basically
That’s what Wendy said
-The guy who fucked your mom: Nice way to change the subject
-I will speak Spanish between your legs: but just people Bebe continued to talk with
-PornHub Guy: She speaks with everyone
-The guy who fucked your mom: not you eric
-I suck dicks: Go choke on a dick
And change the fucking name
@The guy who fucked your mom changed @I suck dicks to @ugly baby
-I will speak Spanish between your legs: lmao
-ugly baby: fuck you bitch
You too with your Spanish dicks
-PornHub Guy: good one Kenny
Is Davíd coming?
-I will speak Spanish between your legs: He told me yes
-The guy who fucked your mom: ((((;
-I will speak Spanish between your legs: He is from the “old crew”
-PornHub Guy: He only came after
-I will speak Spanish between your legs: what
He was with us since elementary school
-PornHub Guy: yea but more like at the end
-The guy who fucked your mom: wheres my man tweek when I need him
-I will speak Spanish between your legs: Bebe invited him though
-PornHub Guy: cool
-ugly baby: can you guys go fuck each other somewhere else?
-I will speaking Spanish between your legs: Omg stop whining
You really are a baby
-ugly baby: aren’t you next to each other? Spank each other
IM NOT FUCJ YOU
-PornHub Guy: no, my game is going to start
-I will speak Spanish between your legs: He left ages ago
-The guy who fucked your mom: Say no more Im coming for you and your lonely ass
-I will speak Spanish between your legs: Where is Tweek?
-The Guy who fucked your mom: <\3
-ugly baby: he is with Bebe on a date
-PornHub Guy: wat
-The guy who fucked your mom: HE IS CHEATING ON ME????
-Cute buns and big baguette: fuck you
-The guy who fucked your mom: holy shit
-PornHub Guy: He appeared
-Cute buns and big baguette: WHHATSNRHISNAME
-The guy who fucked your mom: I wanted you to have more than two cute buns
-Cute buns and big baguette: CHANGE
-I will speak Spanish between your legs: Me too
-PornHub guys: yeah give back the admins rights
@The guy who fucked your mom changed @PornHub Guy to @Spank me
@The guy who fucked your mom changed @Cute buns and big baguette to @Look at the buns on that guy
@The guy who fucked your mom changed @I will speak Spanish between your legs to @I will suck your dick between your legs
-Spank me: I don’t deserve that
I’m not into spanking
-Look at the buns on that guy: Thanks Kenny
-The guy who fucked your mom: yah okay you can spank me Stanley
I don’t care either way
<3 Tweek
-Spank me: I DON’T MEAN IT LIKE THAT EITHER
YOURE THE WORST
-I will suck your dick between your legs: Dude go prepare yourself for the match
-Spank me: coach is late
-ugly baby: what about my name?
-I will suck your dick between your legs: this is the more accurate
-ugly baby: go suck bitch
-The guy who fucked your mom: Tweek what are you doing with Bebe?
Are you cheating
-Spank me: This is the comedy police the joke is too funny
-ugly baby: asslicker
-The Guy who fucked your mom: I’M NOT GOING BACK TO JAIL
Yes you can’t win my love like that Stan
Maybe if you spank me
-I will suck your dick between your legs: lmao
-Spank me: Vine is dead anyway
-Look at the buns on that guy: OAGEPBE
SHUT UP
-The guy who fucked your mom: I will bury you before I bury Vine
-I will suck your dick between your legs: Bebe kidnapped you?
-Look at the buns on that guy: Sofry
She keeps asking me about what she tries on
-ugly baby: pics
-Look at the buns on that guy: she was depressed because someone died
-Spank me: o
What who
-I will suck your dick between your legs: Is she okay??
-Look at the buns on that guy: I don’t know
She was crying
I didn’t want to make her cry more
She wanted to think about something else so she brought me to the mall
-ugly baby: sucks to be you
-Spank me: sry i gotta go
game starting
-I will suck your dick between your legs: Kick their asses
-Spank me: you guys are coming right?
-I will suck your dick between your legs: Same seats as ever
-The guy who fucked your mom: good luck bud
We are on our way
Spank their asses
-I will suck your dick between your legs: LMAO
-Look at the buns on that guy: yea good luck
If you lose we will spank you
-Spank me: NOT YOU TWEEK
FUCK YOU GUYS
“Tweek.”
He startles, glancing at Bebe who seems to be a bit peeved that he hasn’t been listening.
“Shit! Sorry,” Tweek mumbles and Bebe quickly throws her pouty mood away. “The guys talk a lot.”
“It’s okay,” she smiles. “But you should buy that leather jacket hon’, you are hot in it.”
“I don’t have that much money,” he huffs.
If someone should have a leather jacket and be hot it would be Craig. This dangerous thought almost makes his imagination melt and probably die at the same time but her friend cuts in by grabbing his arm.
“Let’s go get these milkshakes.”
She drags him to a cafe as she promises him that she doesn’t mind paying for his milkshake, deciding that it’s too good to not have a full one for each. Tweek hasn’t forgotten about why they are here in the first place; not that he minds hanging out with her, but he is pretty worried about how she doesn’t talk again about who the fuck died. The milkshake will defintely cheers her up; Tweek remembers that time when she called him on facetime with a big bowl full of ice-cream because one of her favorite characters died in a series. This memory hits him and he stares at her with a frown as she starts sipping on her milkshake.
“Bebe.” Tweek waits for her to look up. “Who died?”
She blinks at him. Tweek sort of hopes it’s actually something as silly as that but it will also pisses him off because he almost had a heart attack for nothing. Her eyes start to water up as she shows him her phone. Tweek can easily recognize what should look like a teenager but the actor is way too old for this character.
“Him.” Tweek feels one of his eyes starting to twitch and he doesn’t even recognize what show he could even come from. “He is so—“ Bebe gasps and shakes her hand a bit toward her face to most likely try to not cry, “-perfect! But they killed him right be-“
“Oh my God,” Tweek spits, almost letting his head smash against the table, “are you kidding me?! I thought someone actually died!”
“It’s all the same!” She argues.
“It’s not!”
“You also cried like a baby when-”
“But I never made you believe someone actually died! In real life!” Bebe huffs and crosses her arms. Tweek frowns back at her and decides to loudly sip on his milkshake. “You could have told me sooner, I thought it was one of your old parents or-or I don’t know, your cousin or something!”
She snorts at his embarrassment and tastes her milkshake. “Well, you would also be fucking destroyed if your favorite character is killed out of nowhere. And not the kind of jokes where this character always dies and comes back. He was perfectly fine an episode ago and now he is dead! I don’t know who I should call but now everything shit.”
“Why did you drag me here then? You could have asked Annie, she always talks about series. I have no idea who it is.”
“I clicked on a spoiler, Tweek,” she says with the most pained face ever. “I wasn’t careful… It said he died so I had to check! I can’t do that to my friends!”
“It’s just a series, he didn’t really d— ouch! Bebe!” He hisses at her. “Bitch.”
She shoots him a nasty glare, hopefully crossing back her legs from kicking him again. He slightly glares but it quickly turns playful. They are having fun otherwise, despite Tweek worrying for nothing, so he settles down with his milkshake. She does the same before checking her phone and turning around to take a selfie.
“Smile Tweeker,” Bebe cheers with a wide smile.
Tweek catches him blushing on the screen and it only embarasses him further but he tries to smile too. It’s probably awful and he quickly snorts when Bebe makes a grimace; she takes it only then with the time to have her perfect smile on. He hopes she doesn’t post it but at the end of the day he tries to not care; everyone knows his face.
“What’s with that nickname?” He asks after drinking most of his milkshake. She doesn’t seem to get what he is talking about. “I don’t get where ‘Tweeker’ comes from but even Red uses it. I never heard it before.”
“Oh right, by the way she insisted that you send that recipe,” she recalls, clinking her nail against the table as she thinks, “like ASAP.”
“I will do it tonight,” he promises, relieved that she remembers him of it as he actually forgot. “Is she okay, by the way?”
“They are fine, especially Red,” she says with a slight scoff, taking one sip of her milkshake. “She and Rosa can’t cheer until after the winter break though. Not that they are presentable, especially Rosa who has a hell of a black eye.”
“Shit, really? I didn’t see her after the fight.”
She loops a strand of her golden hair behind her ear, revealing a few earrings and piercings.
“I’m glad I could save their asses from getting kicked out of the team,” she sighs, “I didn’t even see the fight. I was talking with Annie and Lola about the new candidates and everything.”
“You couldn’t have stopped them. It was insane.”
“I guess,” she mumbles out with her chin in her hand before it slips up to her cheek to lean her head in it. “And I don’t know where your nickname came from, I just heard it and thought it was something from the guys.”
“No. Stan, Kyle and Kenny never used it– or at least not in front of me.” He purses his lips in a thoughtful pause as he anxiously looks around. “Even Cartman; But I heard Clyde using it and Red.”
“Must be from him then, at least I could have heard it from Clyde,” she admits and swirls her straw in her milkshake. “Why? Is it bothering you hon’?”
“I don’t know. It’s just weird. What does it mean?”
“It’s not a bad nickname, it’s cute. I wouldn’t use it otherwise.”
“I guess,” he mutters and tries to finish his milkshake.
Tweek is used to nicknames, when you are that weird kid and haven’t truly changed, which is how he has been granted a lot of different surnames to mock him. Most disappeared, along with his usual twitchings; but this new nickname is really unfamiliar and he hopes it’s not something about drugs. Though if Bebe uses it then she either just finds it cute or has no idea what it means.
The cold glass tingles his fingers, reminding him that he has to close the coffee shop tonight which promises the coldest temperature ever. He peeks up when he feels something softly tugging at his hair, noticing that it’s Bebe focusing on styling it. If Tweek has ever been the slightest interested in girls, he would be happy to have an easy view on her cleavage in this situation.
“Are you letting them grow? We could style it in different ways.”
“I have to cut them.” He lets her have her fun, angling his head however she wants. “I will try to do it this week-end.”
“Don’t you want something new? Maybe short and just leaving them longer in the front?” She offers. “You always had the same haircut.”
“Well I dyed my hair back once-”
“This was awful and if you do that again, you’re dead to me.”
Tweek laughs and lets go of his empty milkshake. “Well I don’t know.”
“I mean you are handsome but you have to try one time,” she insists. “We can look for a haircut that will definitely suit you!”
“You never did change yours,” he argues.
“That’s because I’m prettier with long hair. Remember when I cut them in middle school? I didn’t even go past the shoulders and it was ugly.”
“It wasn’t that bad,” he opts to say as he can’t barely remember this.
“Short hair only suits Annie or Wendy,” Bebe muses with a pout. “Anyway, you are still coming to my party? We are going to get pizzas and we can use my hot-tub– just don’t tell everyone I don’t want fucking Cartman there.”
“Yeah, I just have to leave at five in the morning,” he admits with a sigh, which means he might not sleep at all but he also doesn’t want to miss it. “I have a shift that I can’t miss.”
“What?! Why?” She whines with a pouty frown. “Your parents suck.”
Tweek can only chuckle a bit to not think further than that. “Sorry.”
“You can sleep in the guest room. I will give you the key so you can have some peace.”
“Thanks,” he smiles back at her.
“... Also I need your help,” Bebe admits and clears her throat with a hand playing with a strand of hair. “Can you, like, ask Wendy what she thinks of - hum - two girls together?”
He eyes her, not completely seeing what she means by that before he softly gasps. His reflex is to quickly look around as if there are spies before hovering the table to whisper.
“Like– like a girl wants to ask Wendy out? You have never talked about it before?”
“I want to ask her out,” Bebe sniffs with a blush starting to take over her cheeks. She straightens in her seat, all unbothered and delicate like - Tweek easily sees the nervousness. “And no, we never really talked about this. I mean we talk about attractive girls but it’s not like saying ‘yeah I want to date a girl’ so I don’t seriously know.”
“Oh.” Tweek finds it surprising but he can understand; although he never expected Bebe to ask him or even be into Wendy like that. “I mean– I don’t really know but I can try asking? I didn’t think you liked her like that.”
Bebe doesn’t meet his eyes before sighing and scooching closer to whisper. “Honestly? I don’t know. I mean I want to kiss her and all, and it’s been on my mind like two years ever since. Even when I date someone I keep thinking about her— and it’s not just friendship stuff.”
“Ah, I get it.”
She looks pretty honest and he has never seen her that flustered and wishful, which almost makes him say that she looks already in love.
“So, uh, you want me to ask her if she is into you?” He anxiously articulates and plays with his napkin. “I could try but I don’t know how I will do…”
“Just sniff out if she doesn’t mind dating a girl, nothing about me,” she explains. “The party would be perfect with the alcohol and all!”
“I’m not sure” he stammers as the pressure hits him. If Wendy isn’t receptive then Tweek will have to share the bad news while finding something to say to Wendy who will probably ask what brings this on the table. “I don’t think I should do that.”
“What? Why?” She frowns, almost smashing the table with a hand. “Don’t tell me Stan is into her again because I swear—“
“What? No! He isn’t!” Tweek exclaims before frowning. “Or at least it doesn’t look like it? I mean I would probably know!”
“He better stay with Kyle,” she scoffs and pushes away her empty milkshake.
“They aren’t together.”
Bebe almost startles as she looks up at him, smiling as if it’s an inside joke before slowly frowning.
“What. They aren’t?!” She gasps. “You are kidding me— I saw Stan carrying Kyle in his arms after his basketball match last week! Straight up carrying him around and staring into each other's eyes!”
Tweek dryly chuckles but can’t disagree; they are horrible.
“Well not yet at least,” he agrees and she groans at that. “When I said that I can’t it’s just -ngh- I have no idea how to ask that! That’s really personal and if she didn’t tell you about it then maybe it means something?”
“Just come up with something, you’re a great actor.”
“Can’t you just tell her that you’re into a girl or something? See how she reacts!”
“I’m not in middle school, hon’,” she says, “plus I know she isn’t homophobic so it won’t help that I’m out, which I already am, and Wendy won’t steal the spotlights or anything so she won’t tell if she does too.”
“Uuh,” Tweek twitches before sighing, “okay I will try.”
“Yay!” She cheers. “She is hot with short hair, say that too.”
“What? No!” He quickly chuckles with her, shaking his head as he stuck himself with a promise now.“I will try,” he says with a look around the coffeeshop, only seeing half of it as he is stuck with his back facing the door. “But I can’t promise anything.”
Bebe brightly smiles at him. “Thanks.”
“Of course.”
Tweek will be crazy busy at the party then, between trying to find out if Wendy would date a girl, and Kenny will definitely insist on observing Kyle and Stan; he would also like to check on Craig from time to time so he can sweet dreams if he manages to sleep even just one second. Plus now there is Davíd to watch over if he is dating Kyle.
“By the way, some of the cheerleaders asked about you,” she mentions. “They find you cute and cool when you play.”
“Wait, really?” Tweek can’t help but snort as he is pretty sure he looks like a maniac with how intense he is when playing.
“Yeah, one of them wants to ask you out.”
He hopes his frown isn’t that rude. “What did you say?”
Bebe grins and Tweek fears for his life. It’s already making him uncomfortable to think of people talking about him, be it good or bad, but he can’t deal with a possible confession.
“Nothing, I told her to go talk to you by herself and that I don’t know your type.”
He fills up his cheeks with air and scratches at the table to let out a long sigh. “I don’t have one.”
“Everyone has a type,” she argues.
His shrug doesn’t convince her and he tries to not meet her eyes - worried that she might see who he is picturing in his head. She crosses her arms when he opts to bite on his straw. “Tweeker, come on. I won’t tell anyone! Are you into- Craig?”
Tweek almost swallows up the straw and starts to choke after spitting it out. He is pretty sure he is close to crying by how much he coughs as Bebe joins his side to slap his back. But he manages to catch on to the two people right next to their table; Craig is quite noticeable.
“Whoa, you okay Tweek? Careful when you s-s-swallow,” Jimmy laughs but appears slightly worried.
“Gross Jimmy,” Bebe argues and continues to pat Tweek’s back. “You okay? Craig you fucking spoked us you tall dipshit.”
“Fuck,” Tweek manages to groan out, quickly looking away when his eyes met Craig’s.
It couldn’t get worse after already running away from him in the morning. Maybe he should have died on the spot. Some milkshake somehow got into his nose but he just can’t blow his nose because they are going to see it. Crawling under the table is very tempting but Bebe is holding him up, sitting next to him now.
“What are you guys doing here?” Bebe asks. “Isn’t Clyde playing?”
“Shouldn’t you be cheering if there is a game?” Craig argues.
“How do you know I’m not cheering if you aren’t watching the game?”
“Can we sit?”
Tweek glances at them as Jimmy sits down at her nod, placing his crutches next to them. Craig walks up to the counter to probably order something.
“I had to buy a ne-new shirt for the party, but we are going back to watch the end probably.” Jimmy explains with a smile. “You want a drink, Tweeker?”
“No no -ngh- am good,” he mumbles, forcing his eyes away from Craig.
“You sure?” Bebe insists. “You should drink something.”
“I’m fine,” he insists, starting to feel too hot with all the attention on him - especially when Craig walks back to their table and slides a glass in front of him.
“Thanks Craig,” Bebe answers for Tweek. “You really are creepy with your freaky long legs.”
His whole skin burns up as he recognizes that it's not simple water but iced tea; Tweek shouldn’t be in awe that he remembers that he likes it even if it’s only been a day. He doesn’t have cash on him to repay him; he can’t repay Craig and not Bebe!
“Shut up. I said hi before you didn’t hear me.” He says with his usual nasal tone. His eyes go from the drink to Tweek until he finally takes a sip, flushing.
“Thanks Craig,” he mumbles out.
“What were you talking a-a-about? Looked like some important gossip and secrets.”
“Just the plans about the party,” she says.
“Hot tub?” Craig joins as he sits down next to Jimmy.
“Fucking– Clyde told you?!”
“He hasn’t shut up about it,” Jimmy confirms.
“Well he isn’t getting in now. None of you.”
“Bitch.”
“Where is my drink, Craig?” Bebe retorts with a frown. “You also gave me a heart attack.”
“Well die, it’s in hell.”
Tweek can’t help but snort as Bebe kicks Craig under the table. As long as they haven’t heard what they were talking about, it’s fine by him. He doesn’t want to know if Craig is dating or into someone because it might kill him.
“I promised my da-date that we could take a qui-quick drip in the hot tub,” Jimmy confesses.
“Nuhuh, over my dead body. Nobody is going to have sex at my house. And the rooms are already reserved so you guys should bring something if you don’t want to sleep on the floor.” She ignores Jimmy’s whines before pointing a manicured finger to Craig. “And you better not wake me up like last time or I will throw you in the hot tub and a fryer.”
“I wanted the couch and you have your bedroom, so the couch is mine.”
“You’re such an ass.”
He flips her off just before Tweek’s phone rings his shift alarm.
“Shit, I’m going to be late.”
“Already?” Bebe whines as the waitress brings up two milkshakes.
“Yeah, I gotta go,” he sighs out, especially as he realises that he is missing his chance to hang out with Craig outside of school. “Sorry, see you. You can finish my drink -ngh- and I will pay you back too!”
He doesn’t seem bothered if Tweek pays him or not but he is aware that Craig’s eternal feud with his friends mostly comes from when he lost his pocket money to them– and he doesn’t want to risk this consequence. It’s probably for the best as there are a millions of possibilities for him to embarrass himself against. Craig waves at him at the last second and Tweek fumbles to return it as Bebe smashes the window to catch his attention with a ‘phone’ handsign.