The Most Unlikely Heroes

Marvel Cinematic Universe Escape the Night (Web Series)
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The Most Unlikely Heroes
author
Summary
"The Avengers. It's what we call ourselves. Sorta like a team. Earth's Mightiest Heroes type thing."S.H.I.E.L.D Directors Ryu Fury and Jael Hills work together to form a team of Earth's Mightiest Heroes to protect their home planet. From gods to assassins to billionaires to space pioneers, the group is an interesting bunch.There's a small issue however. Not only do they refuse to cooperate with Ryu and Jael, they refuse to cooperate with each other. However, a large threat is coming. A threat that has their eyes on the ultimate prize. One that will change the course of the universe for the worse. Can everyone learn to get along? Or will they let their differences destroy everything they know?It's time for the Avengers to assemble.
Note
Hello and welcome to 'The Most Unlikely Heroes'. Yes, this is another ETN crossover because I am apparently an expert at crossovers (please note my sarcasm).ANYWAY, I hope you enjoy this first chapter! And no, I will not reveal who is who quite yet, you will find out as the chapter goes on. First up, Captain America! I'm sorry Steve Rogers, but you're getting the boot in this universe. Love you.
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Lost in the Galaxy of Stars

2014

Xandar

~~~

A tree, a racoon and a child of Nicholas was currently been chasing and hunting Mortimer right now.

Definitely a great day to be alive. "Come on, man," he complained.

He was trying just vibing to 'Come and Get Your Love' on his cassette tape, prancing around a planet Morag so he could steal the Orb and sell it to Broker, but the Broker denied him because some guy named Arthur and his goons were after it.

And then these people were chasing him, one trying to take the Orb and the other two he had no clue why they were chasing him!

Mortimer wasn't looking for trouble! Even if he was breaking quite a few laws and now had Yondu pissed at him-

Okay fine, he was trying not to get caught. But he did. And now these weirdos are trying to snatch the Orb from him.

And it was not because they wanted to return it to Morag like any good saint would. Right now, his life felt like a sci-fi movie!

A few seconds ago, the infamous Calliope tackled him! Oh and flung him off a bridge. With the Orb in her hands. But he snatched it back.

Then the tree caught him.

"I am Groot!" the tree said, offering him a friendly smile. "I am Starlord," he answered, confused.

Then Groot started wrapping his branches around Mortimer's torso tightly. "Please let me down."

"Not so fast, buster!" the raccoon shouted. Amused, Mortimer asked, "Who are you supposed to be, Ranger Rick?"

The raccoon bared his teeth at him in a snarl, letting out a low growl.

Note to self: Raccoon doesn't like to be called Ranger Rick.

Groot swung the Earthling over his shoulder like he was nothing and began following the raccoon. "Let me go!" Mortimer growled, struggling under his grip.

"No way. Groot and I are gonna be rich once we turn you in!"

"Turn me in? To who?"

The raccoon didn't answer, whistling merrily. Mortimer yanked a loosely hanging branch from Groot. Whipping it at the raccoon, he successfully stopped the him in his tracks.

"I'm gonna ask you again-Who am I wanted by?"

He shrugged "If I knew, I'd tell you. But I don't so, we're just gonna turn you in and get the money."

The human sighed, feeling defeated. Then he got an idea struck him. It was a dumb idea and felt more like a last ditch Hail Mary, but it was worth a shot.

"Hey Groot?" he asked.

"I am Groot," Groot answered. "Can you put me down? I can walk by myself. I won't run off, I promise. "

If only promises meant something to him.

Groot considered it for a moment, then put him down. "Thanks man."

And thankfully, this all happened without the talking raccoon noticing.

If Mortimer was honest, he felt kinda bad for deceiving the tree. But he had to do what he had to do.

"I'm sorry buddy."

He started running. Turning towards town square, he knew he had to get to his ship, the Milano.

Then, the one and only Calliope launched herself from the bridge, chasing after him. With amazing grace and agility, she landed on him, tackling him to the ground.

Again.

In the distance, the raccoon and Groot were chasing after him as well. The Orb rolled out of his bag and Calliope and Mortimer were reaching for it-

That's when the Night Corps arrived.

~~~

Kyln Prison

~~~

Today was one of her few days off. Even Alison was permitted to explore their newfound turf while Nicholas and the Crystal Order scoured another doomed civilization that Nicholas 'saved' by wiping out half the population. Eventually their presence would be required to pick up the pieces, but for now, the girls were allowed to roam freely.

As the sole survivor of the Zen-Whoberis, Calliope's surroundings threatened to tempt the childhood out of her.

A coat of red dust covered the ground underneath her feet. She could taste the sweetness of the air rich with nutrients in every breath. Surrounding her were trees that seemed to be as tall as the orange sky itself, forever reaching, beckoning upwards. Behind them peaked the planet's two enormous suns, engulfing half of the skyline.

It was beautiful. Peaceful. Like nothing could ever go wrong here. If only she could ignore what was going on in the distance, all the blood that will be shed, the families that would mourn, the screams that will carry through the wind if you listened closely.

This seemed like a paradise, one Nicholas undertook the burden of creating.

She wanted to run.

Calliope was, of course, still an adolescent. Yet at ten years old she had been exposed to more war and depravity than any of the sorry souls the Titan killed.

Sometimes he made her watch him. She had a front row seat too, right on his shoulder. He would force her to look at the spilled guts and blood of the perished, those who he killed and those who were already dead when they arrived. 'Look,' he would bellow. 'Behold the almighty universe in all of her glory. This is what people die trying to protect. Look and understand, daughter. You must prepare. Look!'

Calliope deviated from her fantasies, dragging her feet against the floors of the Kyln while rabbit-looking asshole that called himself Crusty was prattling about escaping 23 different prisons or something along those lines. She really didn't seem to care, the adopted daughter of Nicholas had other things in mind other than some sad little vermin.

One would think Calliope was thinking about all those prisoners who would indefinitely attack her for being Nicholas' daughter (note that she's adopted/abducted) and infamous assassin. And if by some chance you lived under a rock and didn't know who Nicholas was, he's got a bad reputation if Calliope was to sugar-coat it. While that was all accurate, she had more a relevant issues to have qualms about.

First and foremost being Mortimer effing Wilson and that Orb.

That Orb was her ticket to liberation from the Crystal Order, from what her father does. She's hated every day of her life since Nicholas took captive of her. Adopting didn't even seem like a right word, hence why the assassin never calls him 'father' or consider him to be any kind of caretaker. Yes, he raised her to be who she is, but he's still a captor.

She was going to sell it to a woman they call 'The Collector' in Knowhere. As the name expresses, The Collector collects weird junk that no one but her cares about. Least she's offering 4 million units for the Orb.

"You're lucky the Night Corps arrived otherwise Groot and I would've turned you in to Yondu by now," Crusty carped and the Earthling rolled his eyes. "I'm not going to die because of a tree and a raccoon. If there's a list for 'least intimidating attempted murderers' you guys take the cake."

"What's a raccoon?" Crusty questioned at the same time Groot repeated, "I am Groot."

The raccoon sighed and looked at his companion. "It's an expression Groot, there's no cake."

"First of all, that's what you are, you prat and does this guy say anything other than 'I am Groot'?" Mortimer replied.

"Well he don't know talkin' good like me and you, so his vocabulary is limited to "I," and "am," and "Groot," exclusively in that order."

"That's gonna get real old real fast," Mortimer complained, "If I took a shot every time he's said that today, I'd be dead by now."

As the boys quarreled, she took a moment to look at the human one out of the three. If Calliope was honest, she's never seen a Terran before, they keep to themselves.

Or more accurately, they don't know that other species like them exist at all, she hears that they believe they're the only planet that could contain life.

Are all Terrans that dumb? She couldn't imagine accepting that as gospel. Then again, this guy ends up here, why is he the only one? Sure, there are some who look like him, but alas, he's just a lone wolf. She wondered how the heck this guy ended up being a Ravager.

Noticing her staring, Mortimer turned around to her. "What?" he asked and she simply answered, "I've never met a Terran before. Are all Terrans like you?"

"Is... that supposed to be an insult or a compliment?" She deadpanned and answered bitingly, "What do you think, darling?"

"I'll assume it's the former then. And I wouldn't know, I haven't been on Earth in 26 years." He spun back around again and before Calliope could ask anything else, he switched subjects. "So this Orb has this shiny blue suitcase, kinda has Ark of the Covenant Maltese Falcon vibes-"

"I am Groot?"

"He asked you to speak in frickin English, please. Except Groot didn't say, 'frickin,'" Rocket translated as he got a displeased glare from Groot.

Mortimer, forgetting that these guys would have never heard about it, explained, "It's from an Earth movie." 26 years and it still amazes him that he's never seen another Terran.

"Oh. That makes sense."

It didn't make sense to the raccoon.

"Anyway, what's the big deal with this Orb? Why were you so adamant to take it from me?" Calliope didn't answer the question, instead saying, "I will provide no answers to an honor-less thief."

"So high and mighty coming from someone like you, a genocide maniac," Crusty cracked and Groot agreed, "I am Groot."

Calliope didn't flinch at the comment, knowing what he said had a smidge of factuality. Instead she fired back coolly, "At least I'm not a test subject for illegal genetic and cybernetic experiments."

He bared his teeth at her, growling. "You bi-"

Before he could finish, a Night Corp shoved yellow uniforms in their hands. "Get changed," he ordered.

~~~

When Crusty was shoved out onto the main floor, itchy uniform clinging to his fur, he saw eyes drift to him—to the animal-vermin-rodent-beast that was unnatural. The raccoon bristled at their gazes. At least he could talk again.

"Stop f*cking staring at me or I'll rip your eyes out!" he roared, curling his fists up. The chatter abruptly stopped and eyes were averted. Mortimer gave him a 'chill-out' look, Calliope didn't seem to take notice and Groot flashed his tiny comrade a sympathetic frown.

This prison cell is the most secure cell there is, 1,050 miles from the surface dug by the Night Corps, the masters when it comes to digging. Walls made of stainless steel move in in a circle 2 meters deep in all directions, then reinforced concrete 500 feet in all direction, armed guards watch 24/7, armed with laser, tear grenades, samurai sword, bullet and laser proof shirt, pants, shoes and a helmet that also blocks of hypnosis. The guards are all the highest level in karate, Taekwondo, and Samurai sword practice, there is a chute for food which comes down in bottles and water comes down a separate chute and then the chute closes.

Fortunately, he had already come up with a plan to break them out and did discuss them with Groot because quit frankly, he was the only person that was credible and couldn't care less for Crystal Order genocide maniac and a Terran Ravager.

Precisely because of the exchange they had earlier.

"So, is everything set for tonight?"

"I am Groot."

"Ok, Groot, but that's the most important part. We need that capacitor! It's crucial to the whole, ya know, boom part!"

"I am Groot, I am Groot. I am Groot?"

"Yes, you dummy!"

"I am Groot!"

Rocket threw his hands up, giving up. If Groot didn't get the capacitor, he'd do something else. What a pain in the ass... good thing for Groot he was a quick thinker.

"We can... I think we can do it without it. Give me the night."

"I am Groot."

Crusty yawned and said, "But first, a nap. This beauty needs some beauty sleep."

"I am Groot."

~~~

Crusty woke up, cramped, cold and wet, for the first time feeling as if he knew that these things were not good. He didn't know why they were not good- just that he wasn't comfortable. A gut instinct. He let out a whine and felt something stuck at the back of his throat.

Cold, he thought, and the thing stuck inside of him made a series of beeps and clicks.

Suddenly, three Large Things, not things like him, they were upright and glinted under the dim light, came to his side, seemingly from nowhere. He certainly didn't smell or hear them coming.

"The subject has voiced displeasure at being below an ideal temperature. Shall we remedy or observe?" one asked, tinnily.

"Let us provide the needed comfort," responded a second. "He will be tested much over the coming cycles, and without time to rest and recuperate, we will lose him to his own sanity."

"That is only a possibility, given prior information. We do not have enough to conclude."

"The lowered body temperature," interjected the first, "Seems to be due to partial rejection of the installed hardware from 5 standard hours prior. He will need to be cleaned and monitored. A heated enclosure upon completion of the diagnostic and repair would be advisable."

"Similar conclusion reached," commented the second.

"This unit still asserts that monitoring conditions for at last half an hour is ideal," protested the third, but the first had already picked up the small creature by the scruff in its claw, and rolled down to the operating wing to monitor the unit though the centralized testing mainframe.

Rocket never really liked any of his wardens, but he liked Three the least.

~~~

He shot up, fur on edge. Safe, you're safe. Just a nightmare.

But that wasn't completely true. Now when that nightmare was a memory of the past. He scanned the room, prisoners asleep all around him. Groot sat upright, thin branches anchoring him to the wall, a drop of sap leaking from the corner of his mouth. Good, didn't wake him this time.

There was no point in trying to get back to sleep; only more nightmares would await him. Crusty merely just sat there, getting back to his plan to get the heck out of here. And maybe, just maybe, considering the other two to come along. Just for the Orb and the bounty.


And for no other reason other than that.


~~~

Mortimer sat awake, unable to sleep either, unable to turn off his mind. Today was a strange day, like any other day in the past 26 years since his mom died. But it was a good day. Because it didn't end in death.

Only prison.

Even after all these years, her death felt like a raw wound, mainly because he never got the closure he wanted. You could say that Mortimer Wilson was your average protagonist in a movie; always having parent issues.

His mother was dead and his father was who knows where. The Terran didn't even think he was alive, no matter how rapturously his mother spoke of him. Came from the stars, she claimed. He'd never forget her last day on Earth. And his.

The more steps the young boy took into the hospital, the more his heart ached. Hecould feel this was the night everyone had been dreading and fighting to prevent, the night his mother would pass. A young Mortimer got to the waiting desk that sat right outside his mother's room and froze. The first few weeks she stayed here for treatment, he'd come rushing in with a smile on his face and stories to tell because Mortimer knew that would make her forget about the hospital bed and the IV tube in her arm and the constant beeping of machinery for a moment, and a smile would grow on her face too.

It wasn't until her stay extended past a a month did the light in her smile fade and she started to lose herself. Seeing her lose strength every day started to become unbearably painful for the child. Now, he dreaded facing her. His grandpa sighed sympathetically at him when he noticed he stopped. Mortimer looked up at him and managed a smile, forced of course. "I'll come in, just give me a minute, okay?"

"She's not gonna be mad about your eye," he admonished his grandfather.

"I know."

"You plannin' on going in?"

"Of course."

His grandfather pulled one headphone away from his ear, interrupting his Beatles song. "What, after you finish your brooding songs? I don't think so."

He swatted his hand away. "I'm not brooding."

Usually he would continue to bicker with him, but he knew there was no time for that."Alright, just know nothing can make her happier than you. So only a minute," he smiled softly and continued into the room.

~

"No. No!" Mortimer screamed as his grandpa dragged him out of the room. The walls felt like they were closing in, like the ground beneath him was crumbling down. He sprinted down the halls, past doctors and nurses and alarmed patients, not caring if they gaped at him.

"No. Mom, no." Mortimer reached the middle of the field and fell to his knees, choking on tears, "Mom!"

He wiped the tears from his eyes again, but they wouldn't stop coming. He looked up to the sky and remembered his mom's words, "Whenever you look up and see something beautiful, whenever the stars are bright, know I'll be right beside you, and I will see it too. So never stop looking up. Never stop seeing beauty."

But there was nothing beautiful tonight. He'd looked up at the sky from the field almost every night since his mom had stayed there, and the stars never failed to dazzle. But tonight, the sky was completely black right above them. Maybe it was some weird cloud, or a trick of the light.

Suddenly the dark part of the sky lit up and tipped down with a deafening groan, shining down spotlights, all centering in on Mortimer. He tried to look up, but the light was blinding.

That was the last moment he'd remember of Earth.

~~~

Mortimer felt a tap on his shoulder and saw the raccoon next to him, a mischievous glint in his beady eyes. "What do you want?" he snapped.

"What do you say we break out of this place tonight?" The raccoon grinned.

 

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