Whipping, Enemy to Caretaker
The whip falls again on Steve’s back.
He screams into the gag. Steve had tried to hold them in, for Bucky’s sake. But when he no longer could, it hadn’t taken long for their captors to tire of it, and order the Soldier to gag him.
And he had. Mechanically, but roughly, stuffing a rag into Steve’s mouth, tying it there with an additional scrap of cloth.
Steve had tried to make eye contact with him, trying to get Bucky to recognize him. But the Soldier didn’t look at him, simply stepped back and waited to be ordered to continue.
Steve wasn’t sure if he should be relieved or not. If it was kinder for Bucky to do this under the influence of the Soldier.
He’s lost count of how many lashes Bucky has given him. He hangs his head, grunting at the next impact.
No. Not Bucky. Hydra. They activated the Soldier, and they’re doing this to him. To them.
The whip stops. Steve sways. He knows that if it weren’t for the chains holding him upright, he’d fall over.
His chin touches his chest, and he breathes in shallowly, trying so hard not to do anything that might make this worse.
Steve didn’t realize that the Soldier had walked away, until he returned with something in his hands. The Soldier places it on a cart to the side, before turning to Steve.
His blood goes cold when the Soldier shoves Steve’s pants down.
Not this. Please, don’t make him do this he thinks desperately. Steve squirms, trying to pull away, despite knowing the futility of it. The Soldier grips him painfully by the thigh with his metal hand. He reaches to the side, grabbing something. Steve’s heart pounding, and the fatigue from the whipping preventing him from noticing what it is.
Something stabs into his thigh, and a trail of red starts.
Oh. Blood. They’re taking my blood. He thinks hazily, unsure if he should be relieved or not.
A moment later, he passes out.
-----
Steve’s cold, when he wakes up. He’s lying on the hard ground, and his back aches.
Somewhere above him, someone is cursing.
He hears someone moving around, things clattering. But Steve is too tired to care. He lacks the energy to open his eyes and see who it is, what’s going on.
Something cold and wet touches his back, and it burns. He moans in protest, feebly trying to twist away from it.
“Steve, Steve, it’s okay,” someone above him says. A hand gently runs through his hair. “It’s gonna help, I promise. We gotta take care of this. I’m not..” Their breath hitches, “I’m not going to hurt you.”
Steve twitches as the stinging returns, but he doesn’t move; trusting the voice.
The voice continues a litany of curses, apologies, and reassurances.
“You’re doing so good, baby. I’m almost done. I’m so so sorry..”
When the burning stops, there’s a rustle of fabric.
“Ok, Stevie. We gotta get that wrapped up. This is gonna hurt, I’m so sorry..” The voice says.
They grab him gently under the arms, turning him around and up into a sitting position, leaning against something warm and solid.
Steve presses closer, realizing that he’s shivering.
“Stevie, Stevie, doll, can you open your eyes for me?”
Stevie… He muses. Not a lot of people call him that.
“Okay, okay, it’s fine..” The voice breaks off into more cursing, their voice raising in panic.
Steve flutters his eyes open, tilting his head to see Bucky’s panicked face.
“Hey, Buck,” he croaks.
“Steve, I thought you weren’t, I thought that I..” Bucky closes his eyes, tears escaping.
Steve shakes his head slowly, lifting a hand to Bucky’s face, his back screaming in protest at the movement.
“You didn’t do anything wrong.”
“I hurt you,” Bucky whispers brokenly. He tilts his head to lay gently on Steve’s.
“Not your fault, you didn’t want to.”
“But I did it.”
“Not your fault.” Steve repeats, a little more firmly.
Bucky makes a pained noise, but doesn’t argue. He gently rubs a hand up and down Steve’s arm, trying to help warm him up. A moment later, placing a kiss to his forehead, Bucky leans back.
“We need to get you wrapped up. Then I’m going to see if I can find a cup or something, because you really need fluids. And I’ll try and find you a blanket, they took your shirt, and..”
“Bucky,” Steve says, squeezing his neck. “It’s going..” Steve closes his eyes as a wave of dizziness hits him suddenly. “It’s going to be ok.” He forces his eyes open, to see Bucky’s skeptical look.
Bucky swallows hard, nods, and kisses him again. He leans back and grabs something off of the ground. He holds up a roll of gauze.
“Can you sit up by yourself for a minute?” He asks seriously.
Steve nods, and regrets it. He sways, but Bucky catches him, cursing.
He takes Steve’s other arm, resting it on his shoulder.
“Okay. Just hold on, okay. I’ll be quick.”
And he is. The first wrap, Steve can’t help trying to arch his back away from the fabric, causing a chain reaction of pain. He gasps, and leans his head against Bucky’s chest. Bucky stops with a curse, apologizing, and runs his fingers through Steve’s hair. Promises to hurry, that he’s trying to be gentle. Steve taps his fingers against Bucky’s shoulder, but doesn’t otherwise respond. Bucky starts again, murmuring assurances and apologies, cursing and apologizing more when Steve can’t help but flinch.
When he’s done, he helps Steve lower his arms, and scoots closer to hold him close, all the while apologizing.
“Not your fault.” Steve mumbles into Bucky’s chest.
“Kind of is,” Bucky says darkly.
“We’ll argue about it later.”
Bucky humms, gently rubbing Steve’s arm. He rocks them a little, and Steve tries to burrow into Bucky’s warmth.
“You need to drink something,” Bucky whispers into the almost peaceful quiet.
“Nnnn.”
“Yes. I.. I took a lot of blood. Not to mention..” His voice breaks.
“Not you. ’m not going to hold it against you.” Steve mutters.
“You should.”
“I forgive you.” Steve says tiredly, trying to slump further into Bucky without causing pain.
Bucky gives a pained chuckle.
“Thanks, Stevie.”
Steve listens to Bucky’s heartbeat. A little faster than normal. Bucky is scared.
Before Steve can say anything, Bucky pulls away. He lays him down, gently, despite Steve’s protests.
“Water, Steve.” He says. He leaves, but is back quickly, guiding Steve back into a sitting position, helping him with the cup.
“I can do it, Buck.”
“Sure. But let me, please? It’ll make me feel better.
Steve finds he can still roll his eyes, but allows Bucky to help.
When he’s done, Bucky holds him close again.
“I should really find you a blanket or something.”
“This is fine,” Steve says, letting his eyes close.
“Okay, Stevie.” He feels Bucky’s lips again, as he gently rocks them side to side.
Steve allows himself to fall back asleep.