The Secrets We Keep

Pepper was exhausted. It was a long day of work, and her boss was an ass. He kept her late, long past sunset, to go over his schedule even though she had to leave. Funny how she always seemed to have demanding bosses.

As she walked down her street in Queens, she noticed how quiet it was. Peaceful. Usually, it was loud, the hustle and bustle of Queens would surround her and stimulate all her senses. But now, she could hear her soft breaths. The streets were empty. There were no street vendors yelling for attention, or taxi cabs honking, or kids laughing. There was just the moon to keep her company. The moon was big and bright tonight. The moon was so captivating, she couldn’t look away. Usually, the moon hid behind the light pollution, so she rarely saw it. After such a long and difficult day, it was nice to see something beautiful and tranquil. She took one last look at the full moon before she stepped into the apartment building.

If she had been able to pry her eyes away from the moon, she would have noticed the familiar black Audi.

She knew Ben would be okay having Peter for a bit longer than usual, but she herself wanted to spend what little free time she had with Peter. Usually, after work, she would give Peter a big and dramatic hug, always initiated by Peter, and they would spend a little time together with the Parkers. Then they’d go back to their apartment down the hall, eat dinner, play for a bit, then cuddle on the couch while Pepper would read Peter a book. Pepper cherished those moments and loved her cuddly little boy. The weight of her little boy as he hugged her made the long terrible hours at work worth it.

If she hadn’t been daydreaming about Peter as she walked up the stairs, she would have noticed the trickle of blood on the steps.

Finally, Pepper was home. Pepper opened the Parker’s front door and dropped her bag down on the floor. At this point, they were so close they didn’t even knock when they came into one another’s apartment.

If she had looked across the hall from the Parker’s door before she entered, she would have noticed the scorched wall caused by Ironman’s repulsor blast.

“Hey Ben, sorry I’m a bit late, my boss was being terrible as usual. I hope Peter wasn’t any trouble.” Pepper said, shrugging her coat off to hang on the coat tree.

“Peter is no trouble, ever. You on the other hand…”

Pepper's eyes bulged. That wasn’t Ben’s voice. Or May’s. She recognized his voice immediately. His voice was the one she couldn’t forget. His voice was the one she heard over and over again in her dreams. Pepper rounded the corner of the apartment and saw the man she hoped to never see again.

No. No no no no no no. This can’t be happening.

There sat the one and only Tony Stark. His black suit was as dark as his eyes. He looked angry. No, he looked beyond angry. His deep frown and dark gaze were piercing. He stared her down and made no movement. He said nothing, yet his eyes told her everything.

She couldn’t be more terrified.

In Tony’s lap sat her son. Well, their son. Tony’s arms were wrapped protectively around the boy. He was wide awake, playing with Tony’s red tie. Peter looked up, sensing his mother’s presence.

“Mommy!” Peter cried out, making grabby hands. Finally, his mommy was home to give him his hug. He started to wiggle against Tony’s strong arms.

Tony broke the eye contact he was making with his wife to look down at his squirming son. The dark eyes were immediately replaced with a soft, loving gaze.

“Stay with Daddy for a minute Petey, Mommy and I need to talk,” Tony said, and reach to his side to pick up the Ironman plushy to hand to his son. Peter immediately grabbed it and started babbling to himself as he danced around his favorite toy against his father’s chest, oblivious to what was going on around him.

“Tony, I- I” Pepper stuttered out.

“Oh, so you remember my name?” Tony’s soft gaze disappeared as he looked back up at his wife.

“I-I-I” Pepper continued to stutter, completely shocked.

“It’s nice to see you too, wife of mine. When were you going to tell me we have a son?” Tony hissed out.

“Where’s Ben? God, what did you do to Ben? I swear if you hurt him-”

“I didn’t do anything to him.” Tony hissed out. “You on the other hand… well let’s just say your choices led to what happened.”

“What the hell are you talking about?” Pepper asked nervously. Her gaze shifted towards the broken window.

“You know your choices almost got our baby killed today. Justin Hammer found you. You’ve probably heard all about their family. They’re the ones that aren’t afraid to kill innocent civilians. They killed Ben in front of our son and were about to kill our baby too. If I was a second later, he would be dead too.” Tony gritted out quietly, hugging their son with a little squeeze.

“Wh-what?” Pepper was shocked. She could feel the tears pooling in her eyes.

“You left without saying anything! You put our baby in danger by living in this dump! The Hammers found you and they were going to kill you to get to me. What you don’t seem to get is how dangerous your runaway plan was. What were you thinking?” Tony said and glanced down quickly to make sure Peter was still playing with his toy.

“What was I thinking? You are in the mob! You kill people for a living!”

“You didn’t seem to have a problem after I told you.” Tony scoffed.

“But I did! I don’t want to be associated with the mob, and I certainly don't want Peter to grow up and be a murderer like you.”

“Yet you are associated with the mob. Like it or not,” Tony stated. He paused and looked down at his son, who looked up at him with big, innocent brown eyes. “And so is he.”

“He doesn’t have to be.”

“He’s a Stark. Stark blood runs through his veins. No matter what, other mobs will always want to kill him, whether or not he knows who he really is.”

Pepper was on the verge of tears.

“Peter honey, come give Mommy a hug.”

Tony glared at her. He knew she was trying to use Peter as a buffer. Tony hesitated, not wanting his baby to leave his arms. Holding Peter calmed Tony, and thinking about letting his baby go made him anxious. More anxious than he had ever felt about anything ever before. But Peter was wiggling excitedly to see his mom, so he let his son go. Peter hopped off his lap and ran straight into his mother’s arms.

Tony wondered if his son would ever be so happy to see him the way he was for Pepper.

“Mommy,” Peter said as Pepper scooped him up and put him on her hip. He pointed at his father. “I’nman!”

Pepper didn’t hesitate. With her son securely in her arms, she took one step back then quickly turned to run to the door.

But Happy and Rhodey appeared out of thin air to intercept her escape. They stood in front of the door, effectively blocking any potential way for Pepper to run.

“Pep,” Happy said. “Don’t make this harder than it has to be.”

“Just let me and him go please,” Pepper begged.

“We can’t do that,” Rhodes sighed.

“Why don’t you put Peter down so he can play. We have lots to talk about.” Tony stated as he stood directly behind her. It wasn’t a suggestion.

Pepper hesitantly lowered Peter to the ground and planted a kiss on his forehead. Peter immediately ran off towards the bedroom, making a beeline for the bed. Peter always found a way to jump on the bed, especially when his mommy was preoccupied.

Tony took a step towards her, like a predator hunting its prey. Pepper took a step back, moving away from Tony each time he got closer. They did this until Pepper’s back was pressed up against the wall. Tony put both his arms on the wall beside her, caging her in.

“So, you decided it was a good idea to keep my son a secret from me? Pep how could you?” Tony asked heatedly, yet the hurt was evident in his voice. His dark eyes glared into her soul.

“Tony, I wanted him to have a good life,” Pepper whispered out.

“A good life!” Tony laughed with no happiness backing it. He brought his face within inches of Pepper’s. “You call this dump a good place to raise our kid? This is one of the most dangerous places in New York, and you pick here? Not to mention he deserves to have a father. And I deserve, no, I need to have my son.”

“Why so you can raise him to be your little minion? Killing everyone in sight like you?” Pepper snapped back.

She could smell the familiar cologne mixed with coffee and motor oil that she had been longing to smell over the last two years.

“You brought him into this world fatherless. You lied to me and hid from me. You’re no better.”

She still smelt like the Pep he dreamed about every night.

“He has May and Ben! They love him-“

Pepper could feel his warm breath on her face. It reminded her of the countless mornings of them waking up together, tangled in each other’s arms.

“No one can replace his father. No one.”

Even with the fear in her eyes, she was still as beautiful as ever.

“So what you’re just going to take him from me?”

The way he looked at her, even after all this time, still brought butterflies to her stomach.

Tony smiled. He leaned in further, their noses and foreheads touching.

“If I wanted just my son, we would have left hours ago. No, I came back for what’s mine.”

With that, he leaned in and closed the distance. He kissed her roughly, letting his fear of losing her and the loneliness melt away. For so long, he dreamed about kissing her again. To feel her body against his. To have her back. Finally, he had her, and there was no way in hell he was letting her go.

He couldn’t help the grin that spread across his lips when he felt her kiss him back.

He pressed his body against her, pinning her entire body against the wall. His mouth wandered down to her neck, and he kissed her neck ferociously. He sucked hard on her neck, making sure to leave bruises.

The moan Pepper was trying to suppress slipped out. She could feel Tony smirk against her neck.

“You still want me,” Tony breathed against her neck.

Something in Pepper’s brain snapped, and she halfheartedly tried to push Tony off. But his strength kept him in place. He kept kissing her neck, going lower and lower. He began to push back the v neck of her shirt and was working his way down her neck to her shoulder. Marking her as he went. He brought his head back up to her neck and sucked hard on a spot he knew would get his wife to moan again.

“Tony stop, Peter could walk back and see us,” Pepper begged, barely able to hold back a moan.

“I love it when you beg,” Tony commented breathlessly against her neck, and went back to kissing.

“Tony,” Pepper said seriously and pushed him again. This time, he let her push him off.

“Fine, we can continue this later. Besides, you are grabbing what Peter needs so we can go home.”

“What?” Pepper asked shocked.

“Your stuff is obviously still in our room at home. But I didn’t know I’d be bringing home the son I never knew I had. So, I don’t have anything for him yet. Grab what he needs for a night, and I’ll have Friday order everything else he might need and want. Not like I trust poverty-stricken baby clothes or any of Queen’s finest crappy furniture in my tower.”

“You really can be a snob about your wealth.”

“Well, what can I say? This is atrocious.” Tony said, waving his hands around his room.

“Well, we aren’t going to come and join you in your little fantasy.” Pepper stated crossing her arms.

“Ha. Funny you think you have a choice in this matter. No. You are my wife. Until death do us part. And pretty sure neither of us are dead. But the more you run, the more danger you put yourself in; I have to protect you and my son, that's my job. That little boy is my son. My son that you kept from me. I missed so much already. I’m not missing a minute more of his life.”

“Tony please understand, I wasn’t trying to hurt you. I was trying to do what’s best for him.”

“What’s best for him? Do you think taking him away from his father is what’s best for him? Oh babe, you have no idea how wrong you are. No matter where you go or what you change your name to, you’ll never be able to leave me behind. I’ll always find you and Peter. Always.”

Pepper shuddered.

Tony reached out and grabbed Pepper’s hand. With his other hand, he reached into his pocket and pulled out her wedding ring.

“How did you find that?” Pepper asked flabbergasted. When she left, she had brought it with her. She kept it in her apartment on her nightstand. She couldn’t get herself to part with it.

“Happy looked through your apartment, found it pretty quickly. On your nightstand in a little bowl shaped like a heart? I’m flattered. But I prefer it when you wear your ring, it reminds everyone you’re mine.” Tony said as he slipped her engagement and wedding ring back onto her finger.

Pepper looked down at the ring. She had looked at it almost every night. She wouldn’t wear it, out of fear and guilt. But she would always look at it and think of Tony. The ring being back on her finger was surreal. And scary. Very very scary.

Tony didn’t let go of her hand. He pulled her hand, and she stumbled into his arms. He immediately wrapped his arms around her waist and tugged her closer to him so that they were chest to chest.

They stared at each other, never breaking eye contact. The anger in his eyes started to melt away. Instead, Pepper saw his longing eyes glance down at her lips. Pepper couldn’t help herself as she leaned in just a little closer to him. He closed the distance and crashed his lips into hers once again, awakening the lust that Pepper had forced down for so long. She had gotten by with nothing for the past two years, and the part of her that missed her husband was finally whole again.

She kissed him back for the second time today. She hated herself for being so selfish. For still melting to his touch. For still loving him.

As they were kissing, she heard little feet come stomping over. She felt one hand tug on her pants.

Tony and Pepper parted lips and looked down to see Peter staring up at them with big brown eyes.

“My turn my turn!!!” Peter bounced with a big grin on his face, pulling on both of his parent’s pants.

“You want a kiss too, Bambino?” Tony asked, scooping him up with one arm, while still holding Pepper flush against him with his other arm. He littered his little boy’s face in kisses as Peter happily giggled.

“Mommy mommy!!!” Peter squealed, reaching out to his mom. Pepper immediately wrapped her free arm around her baby. She took Peter from Tony and pulled Peter close to him. She kissed him on the cheek, and he giggled into her neck.

“It’s time,” Tony stated, putting a hand on Peter’s back. Tony sensed Pepper hesitating.

"We still have a lot to talk about, and we will, back home, where our son will be safe." Tony explained as he put an arm around his wife and gently guided her out of the Parker's apartment towards her old apartment.

Pepper could feel the tears welling up in her eyes. She never wanted this. Not for Peter. She wondered if she would ever be able to see May again, or if May would hate her for what happened to Ben.

Because right now, Pepper could only hate herself as she let herself be led out of the apartment.