Transgender
Bucky hated Wednesdays because it was the one day he didn’t have any classes with Tony. The way their classes lined up, he had to go the whole day without seeing his boyfriend until the whole team gathered at the apartment at the end of the day- it was torture.
Even so, they made it work by sending each other texts throughout the day. So of course, Bucky was concerned when halfway through the day, he had no messages from Tony at all. He tried calling but the younger boy didn’t answer.
Bucky called Bruce who shared his next class with the genius. “Bruce, Tony isn’t answering his phone. Are you guys walking to science now?”
“We are supposed to be, but Tony wasn’t at our meeting spot. And I just walked to his marketing class and no one saw him today,” Bruce informed. “I was just about to call you.”
“Shit,” Bucky stopped walking and turned in the direction of the apartment. “I’m going to check the apartment, let me know if he gets in contact with you.”
“Same,” Bruce said, worry in his voice.
As soon as Bucky hung up, he started sprinting outside the school gates. Luckily, their apartment was less than a minute walk from their campus.
Bucky’s hands were shaking as he tried to put the key in the door. The amount of kidnapping attempts the younger boy went through during the school year gave Bucky anxiety. “Tony!” He shouted as soon as he entered.
There was no response. Everyone else was in class or enjoying lunch so the apartment was quiet. Bucky made his way to his and Tony’s room where finally, he was met with a lump on their bed under a mountain of pillows. Bucky put his hand on his chest to calm his racing heart.
“Tony, baby. Are you okay? Did you oversleep?” Bucky said softly, kneeling at the edge of the bed. Bucky pulled the blanket back so that it wasn’t covering the genius’ head.
Bucky gasped at how pale Tony’s face was. There was sweat dripping and pooling at his neck and his hair was matted down. The only color was the red of his cheeks. “Tony, Anthony, wake up.” He started shaking his boyfriend, panicked. He pulled off the covers after feeling how feverish the boy’s skin was.
“Mmmhh,” Tony groaned, eyes opening to small slits.
Bucky gave him a small smile which looked more like a concerned grimace. “Baby, I think you’re sick.”
Tony shivered at the loss of a blanket. “M’cold.”
“I bet, but you’re a little warm, I don’t want you to overheat. I’ll be right back.”
Bucky ran to the freezer and grabbed a bunch of frozen veggies. He brought them back to the bedroom and placed them onto Tony’s neck and head. The boy whimpered a bit, but he was already drifting off to sleep.
Bucky texted Bruce to update him and sat himself in the bed next to Tony.
On Sunday, four days later, Tony only felt worse. The whole team took turns taking care of him, but they were growing incredibly concerned- it didn’t seem like an average cold.
“Can you tell me his symptoms again?” Bruce asked.
Bucky sighed, rubbing a hand over his tired face. “Weakness, hot flashes, headaches, and he seems more sad.”
“No sniffles or coughing, right?” Bruce asks.
Bucky shook his head.
Bruce sighed and nodded. “We’ll give it another day until we bring him to the doctor. I’ll make him some more soup.”
“Thanks, Bruce,” Bucky said.
Bucky made his way back to their bedroom, swapping with Clint who was sitting at Tony’s bedside.
The genius was asleep, but they all wanted to keep him company knowing that his immune system was not the best and they should keep an eye on him.
Bucky laid down in the bed next to Tony and ran his fingers over the smaller boy’s face. The genius’ eyes flickered open and he snuggled into the bigger hand when he realized it was Bucky. “How you feeling, doll?” Bucky whispered.
“Not good,” Tony moaned. He went quiet for a minute before focusing again on Bucky. “My dad called.”
Bucky’s face hardened at the mention of Tony’s shitty father.
“He found out I was buying testosterone through my credit card and he cancelled it,” Tony said, tearing up. “He said my professor emailed him to talk about my project and referred to me as Anthony. He said that if I keep playing ‘dress up’ he’s going to take me out of school and make me live with him so that he can ‘correct me’ himself.”
Bucky was radiating with anger but swallowed it down at the tears that were pouring from his boyfriend’s eyes. “He’s an asshole baby, don’t listen to anything he says.”
“I know but he cancelled my credit card, which means I can’t buy testosterone,” Tony said, choking on his tears. “If I can’t buy testosterone anymore then I’m going to turn into Antoniette and I can’t be her, Bucky, I can’t. I’m Tony. I’m Tony,” he said hysterically.
“Shhh, I know you are, doll, I know you are. You’ll always be my Tony. We’ll find a way, okay?” Bucky said, pulling Tony into his arms.
He cradled and rocked the teen until he fell asleep. He then snuck out the room and told the team what was going on. They were all told about Tony’s status as transgender a year ago and were all incredibly supportive.
“Fuck Howard Stark, man,” Clint sigh, flopping onto the couch.
“I think I know why he’s sick then. If he hasn’t had testosterone then he must be going into withdrawal,” Bruce said.
“How do we stop it, then?” Steve asks, frowning.
“Unless he can get more testosterone...we can’t,” Bruce said sadly.
“But we can buy some for him!” Clint said.
“Do you know how much testosterone costs? It’s really expensive Clint, we barely have enough money between all of us to pay rent,” Natasha pointed out.
The teens all were quiet in sadness for their friend.
“We’ll find a way,” Bucky said softly.
Bruce, who was taking a bunch of medical courses, decided to do a small checkup on Tony that night. Bucky watched as the scientist checked his boyfriend’s temperature and pulse. Bruce frowned when he moved to check Tony’s breathing. “Tony, your breaths sound short. Are you having trouble breathing?” He asked.
Tony’s eyes flickered quickly to the side, before he shook his head.
Bruce frowned and moved his hand to press against Tony’s sternum. The boy winced and Bruce pulled back when he felt something hard. “Tony...are you wearing a binder?”
Tony’s cheeks colored and he looked away.
Bruce turned to Bucky who shrugged sheepishly. “He doesn’t like to take off his shirt much.”
“Tony, do you mind if I see?” Bruce asked. “Bucky can leave the room if you want.”
Tony’s eyes were wide as they glanced between his friend and his boyfriend. “He can stay,” he said softly. Tony slowly pulled up his shirt and the other boys’ eyes widened.
Tony had a brown ace bandage wrapped around his chest and gray duct tape on top of it. The bandage looked incredibly worn and old.
“Tony,” Bruce said carefully. “How long have you been wearing that?”
Tony’s eyes were growing teary again. “For about a month now. I had a better one, but Howard found it and threw it away.”
“But you’re in bed now, you can take it off,” Bruce said.
Tony looked confused. “I always wear it to bed.”
Bruce’s eyes widened. “Tony, no. You can’t wear binders 24/7, you need to give your chest a chance to breathe. Are you saying you haven’t taken the binder off for a month?”
The way Tony wouldn’t look at either of them gave them their answer.
“I’m ugly without it. I don’t want to be Antoinette,” Tony whispered.
Bruce and Bucky sighed, unsure what to do. “Tony, can I take this off and check the damage underneath?” Bruce finally asked.
Tony was hesitant, but nodded, so Bruce left to go get scissors.
Bucky climbed on the bed, putting Tony’s head in his lap. “I’m sorry you felt like you couldn’t take your binder off around me.”
“No Bucky, I trust you. It’s just, I’m more comfortable with it on than off. It feels like I'm in someone else’s body every time I take it off and can feel...them. When I'm with you, I want to feel like myself, like Tony.”
Bucky nodded and ran his fingers through Tony’s short hair. “I just want you to know, no matter what your name is or what you look like- boobs or not, you’ll always be my Tony. I will always love you, okay?”
Tony’s breaths hitched but he nodded, kissing Bucky’s hand.
Bruce returned with scissors and he sat on the bed near Tony’s chest. Slowly, he started cutting through the bandages and tape. Tony couldn’t help but wince as the tight compression loosened. He gripped Bucky’s hand hard.
When the bandage came away it smelled badly with how sweaty and old it was. Tony’s chest was no better. It looked infected and irritated, not to mention the multitude of bruises splattered around.
“Fuck, babe, that looks painful,” Bucky said softly. Tony had his eyes closed and he was wincing at every breath.
“I think some of your ribs are bruised, Tones,” Bruce said. He had his first aid kit out and was examining the skin. “Do they hurt?”
“A little,” Tony admitted.
Bruce spent the next half hour cleaning up Tony’s chest with disinfectant and neosporin to help the irritation and infection. “You gotta let your chest breathe for a bit, okay Tones?” Bruce said, taking off his gloves. Bucky was helping him put on a thin sleep shirt so that he was still comfortable.
Tony wasn’t happy, but he nodded. Bucky pressed kisses into his neck and pulled him closer.
“Now get some rest, we’ll check on you in the morning.” Bruce patted the small teen on the knee and walked out the room.
“I love you so much,” Bucky whispered.
“I love you too,” Tony whispered back.
The smaller teen seemed to fit perfectly in the long-haired boy’s arms. It wasn’t long before both teens were asleep.
The next day when Bucky woke up, he felt wet. His eyes opened and he was hit with a metallic smell that made his nose wiggle. The taller boy looked over at his sleeping boyfriend and quietly pulled back the covers. The sheets and Tony’s pants were drenched in blood.
Bucky’s face melted in pity. Tony started to wake when the covers were removed. “Bucky?” He murmured.
Tony’s eyes opened and he immediately looked down at the wetness he felt. Bucky watched as his eyes rolled over the ruined sheets then connected with Bucky. All the color drained from Tony’s face and he started hyperventilating.
“Ton-”
“Get out!” Tony shouted.
Bucky sat up, holding up his hands. “Tony, lis-”
“Get out! Right now, get out, get out, get out, get out,” Tony repeated, his eyes squeezed shut in embarrassment.
Bucky sighed and grabbed Tony around the waist. He pulled the boy close to him so that Tony was shouting into his chest and he rocked him. “Shhhh, baby. I’m right here, you’re not gonna get rid of me, okay? I’m right here.”
Gradually, Tony’s cries grew quieter until they were just dull whimpers. Tony was lax in Bucky’s arms as he lifted the genius and brought him to the bathroom. He placed Tony onto the toilet and ran the tub. While he waited for the water to get warm, he ran to get Natasha’s bath salts and to update her on the situation.
When he returned to the bathroom, he helped Tony remove his clothing before removing his own. He poured the bath salts into the tub before lowering both him and the smaller teen into it. He grabbed a washcloth covered in soap and started rubbing it all over Tony’s body.
They were quiet for a while until Tony started groaning and twitching.
“What’s wrong baby?” Bucky asked softly.
“Stomach hurts,” Tony muttered and relaxed his head onto his boyfriend's chest.
Bucky took a break from washing them and started rubbing his hand over Tony’s stomach. The skin was soft but the older boy could feel how tense the genius’ body was. “Relax, baby, you’re gonna be okay, it’ll get better,” he said softly, rubbing large circles onto his belly.
Tony turned to cuddle closer to Bucky, his head cushioned between his boyfriend’s neck.
An hour later, the apartment of college teens were all gathered in Tony and Bucky’s room. Bruce had changed the sheets while Natasha had gathered everything Tony would need for the next few days.
Everyone lounged on the bed and bean bag chairs, watching a movie. Tony had a hot water bottle placed on his stomach along with belly rubs from his boyfriend. Natasha made sure he had chocolate, candy, and all his favorite snacks from the vending machine.
Tony looked around and was grateful that even though his family was shitty, he was able to find a new one that loved him for being him.