Hello There

Peter and Wade pretty quickly got into a little routine after getting together. Wade would insist Peter stay over and watch movies or play games and inevitably Peter would stay the night. It was all part of Wade’s ingenious plan to give Peter better food. Him staying over meant Wade knew Peter had eaten at least a good dinner and a good breakfast.

One such morning Wade woke up early and rolled over to the amazing sight of Peter Parker next to him, brown hair sticking out in all directions face smooshed into the pillow sleeping soundly on his stomach.

Wade got up to cook Peter breakfast, hoping to give his baby boy breakfast in bed. Peter had seemed tired last night, his muscles clearly overworked from their nightly activities. Fighting crime of course. The other kind generally is less strenuous if the fighting has been rough. Peter may have a healing ability, but it didn’t hold up to Wade’s and Wade had insisted that Peter never push himself too far. Only light hanky-panky on nights like last night.

Wade was in the middle of cooking bacon to go with the pancakes when he heard the adorable sound of Peter's feet pattering down the hallway, and a cute yawn escaping his little spider. Wade turned to see the cutest sight to bless his eyes since baby Yoda. Peter half asleep, hair sticking up, pulling down on one of Wade’s t-shirts to cover himself.

“No no Baby boy what are you doing? Go back to bed this instant!”
Peter, still barely awake, stuttered as Wade rushed forward and began to usher him back to the bedroom. It still amused Wade how much a morning person Peter was not.

“What? Wade, what are you doing? No stop manhandling me. What…”
“No, Spidey get back in that bed. I am giving you breakfast in bed!”

Peter laughed at this and gave up his protest sitting back in bed as Wade lifted his feet and tucked him in.
“Wade you don’t have to do that,” Peter yawned out, smiling at Wade’s antics.
“No, I don’t but I want to. I have bacon and pancakes.”
“Wade I am Jewish… “
“Oh... we are going with the Jewish Peter thing sure love it, Jewish representation! Just pancakes it is.”

Wade went off and brought Peter his pancakes and coffee in bed, even with a flower on the tray.
“Wade … you spoil me. I might get used to waking up to this.”
“Good that’s the plan…… but like with no pressure of course.”

Peter lent over to rest his head on Wade’s shoulder with a reassuring smile. They ate in reassuring silence, Wade again too pleased to see Peter eating a full breakfast, it even has fruit!

“Alright Peter you have that job interview at Mr Asshole Stark industries today, so you better let me put some antibacterial cream on those cuts from last night and go shower. Peter leapt out of bed and this and backed away from Wade.

“Come on Wade I don’t need antibacterial cream, that shit stings. I barely got infections before and I never used the stuff.”

Wade huffed at this. Peter could take a beating like a pro. Wade is pretty sure Peter has stitched all his wounds closed himself in the past, but he was such a wimp when it came to cleaning his wounds.

“Come on Peter. Don’t be a brat, that is for fun times. We gotta keep those cuts clean.”
Wade got up to grab Peter but was no match for Peter’s speed.

“No.”
“Peter Benjamin Parker, I will clean your wounds and you will shower and get dressed this instant!”
“Ohhh full name wow, you are not my Dad. He is dead, a few times over.”
“No, but I am your, daddy, now come here!”
“Eww, no daddy jokes Wade come on.”

Peter backed up further away from Wade and took a step up onto the wall. Slowing making his way to the ceiling. All the while failing to keep in his laughter.

“Peter! You beautiful bitch so help me I will smack you.”
“I think that would take my shower in a different direction and I don’t want to be late to my interview.”

Peter was on the celling now crawling. Wade looked to his left and saw the broom and smirked. He grabbed the broom and poked Peter with it.

“Get down from there, you dumb bug.”
“ARACHNID!”
“Don’t make me swat you!”
“Ouch! Hitting me with a broom really?!”

Peter continued to laugh, and with the poking of the broom and laughing his hands unstuck from the ceiling. He swung down feet still firmly planted. As he hung upside down, the shirt he was wearing flopped down exposing Peter’s bare ass to Wade.

“Hello there,” Wade said to Peter’s butt.
“General Kenobi,” Peter said instinctively in response.

Peter struggled to free his face from the t-shirt that hung over it. He pulled it up and used his hands to pull the shirt up against gravity. But he was too slow. Wade leaned in and kissed Peter’s left butt cheek. Peter squeaked and fell from the ceiling landing flat on his back.

“Ooof, that looked like it hurt Baby boy. Are you ok?”
Peter was still laughing slightly, now stretched out on the floor at Wade’s feet.

“Yeah Wade I am fine, I have fallen from much higher. Come on I will let you clean my cuts you overbearing mother.”
“Oh, so I am not allowed to be daddy, but I can be mommy?”
“Shut up Wade.”

Wade helped Peter up and took him to the bathroom.

--------

After cleaning Peter’s cuts, all whilst Peter hissed and squirmed like a baby, Peter showered. Wade sat on the closed toilet seat enjoying the view and talking Peter up for his job interview.

“You got this in the bag, Peter. I know your history working with other genius scientists has led to crazy villains that try to kill you, but this is different. You will just be working at Stark industries, not with Mr Ass Hat. You are smart, your work will speak for yourself. And with you volunteering at F.E.A.S.T. you hold up to the Stark business reputation.”

“Yeah?”
“Yeah!”
Peter nodded enthusiastically back at Wade. Peter got dressed and paced the room a few times.

“I need this job Wade; I really need the money. I barely make rent with the money from the Bugle and I…”
“Peter shut up; you have this in the bag. I have seen you calmly face of 6 armed supervillains.”
“That was Spider-Man.”
“Well ok, Peter Parker, the genius-level scientist who was second in his class and loved by all his college professors for being smart despite always being late. Peter Parker who designed some of the coolest tech I have seen. You have it in the bag.”

Peter looked Wade in the eyes and nodded.
“I love you, Wade, you know, that right?”
“Yup, and I’m amazed by it every time.”
“Well, I do.”

Peter confidentially went to the door and paused holding the knob.
“I will see you later tonight on patrol.”
He lent over, kissed Wade quickly and left.
“Don’t forget to eat lunch!”
Wade yelled after him.

-----

Patrol was intense that night. Deadpool found Spider-Man already in an intense fight with 6 armed men who appeared to be loading a truck with cocaine. Deadpool no longer had his drug habit, Spidey’s butt was enough excitement. One of the men had left the fight with Spidey and was running towards there truck where Deadpool could see an automatic weapon sitting in the back. He couldn’t let that guy get to the truck but would definitely not be fast enough to run after him. Spidey seems to have noticed too as he looks over his shoulder to Deadpool.

“Spidey, throw me!”
“What!”
“You know! Like Mr and Mrs Incredible, throw me at the bad guy!”

Spidey understood and without hesitation lifted Deadpool’s bulky frame and threw him across the parking lot and right into the bad guy. Deadpool knocked him out on impact. The fight seemed to be going well after that. Deadpool slashed the tires of the van so no getaway was possible and headed back to help Spidey knock out the other thugs.

“OH FUCK!”
“Spidey language, what if the readers are kiddy-winkles!”
Spider-Man groaned from the ground as Deadpool approached him.

“Spidey… you ok?”
“Yeah… I just hurt my ankle, landed on it funny trying to avoid this bastards kick.”
Deadpool looked at the unconscious man at his feet. He swiftly kicked the man.

“Dick. So, can you walk Baby boy?”
“DP what have I told you about nicknames in front of the bad guys?”
“They are all unconscious baby; I think I should be allowed.”

Spidey looked around them and sure enough, everyone was out cold. His shoulder relaxed and he slowly stood. He took an experimental step.

“Uh-uh, nope.”
“Broken?”
“Nah just twisted, it will be fine tomorrow.”
“I will help you to your place, it’s closer.”
Spidey halted at this. Deadpool had yet to go to Peter’s apartment.

“Ok, yup I will give you directions.”
“Yippie I get to see Baby boy’s place!”

-----

Wade wished he had not seen Peter’s place.
It was depressing. It was one room with a curtain to separate the bathroom. There was only one skink for the bathroom and the kitchen. Wade’s big body took up half the space and he had to squeeze around Peter to move about.

“I know it’s a mess sorry.”

This was true. Peter had managed to make this tiny space filthy. There were clothes all over the floor, and the tiny desk in the corner was littered with papers, photographs and beakers. Wade awkwardly sat Peter down on the only chair and sat across from him on the bed. The bed groaned in protest to Wade’s weight as he took Peter’s injured ankle into his lap.

“We would break this bed if we had fun on it.”
“We broke you bed Wade and it’s stainless steel.”
“Ha-ha, yeah.”

Wade massaged Peter’s ankle and inspected it.
“You were right, just twisted; I will wrap it for you, so it heals better.”
“Bandages are in the draw next to the bed behind you.”

Wade lent over to get them; the bed creaked louder in protest. As Wade lent over, he noticed the wastebasket next to the bed, it was filled with bloodied tissues, bandages and paper. He sighed. Wade could Imagine it clearly. Peter exhausted from a fight stumbling in through the window and crashing into the bed immediately. Grabbing whatever was closest to him to stop the bleeding and passing out looking up at his leaky roof.

“You should move in.”
“What! Where is this coming from Wade? I know my place isn’t very nice, but it’s mine.”
“I know you have this thing, Peter, about making it on your own. And I know you don’t want charity despite giving it out to people who don’t deserve it all the time. But I love you. Peter, you’re not alone anymore. You don’t have to be alone. I don’t want to be alone either.”

Peter lent over, his hyper flexibility making it easy to reach Wade’s hands that were on Peter’s ankle.
“We do make a pretty good team, don’t we?”
“Yeah, we do. It was totally awesome when you yeeted me at the bad guy earlier.”
“Yeah, that was dope.”

Wade started to wrap Peter’s ankle as he continued rambling.
“I know you have super strength, but you are so little I forget sometimes. It was totally awesome to feel it in action.”
“I have thrown busses, Wade, yeeting you a couple of feet is nothing.”
“Yeah taking care of yourself seems too hard for you?”
“Woah, low blow man.”
“Nope, has to be said. Did you have lunch today?”
Peter’s silence was all Wade needed.

“Just think about it, Peter. I want to take care of you ok. It makes me happy.”
Wade got up from the creaky bed and kissed Peter quickly. He left Peter in a dazed state hoping he would consider taking Wade up on his offer. Wade was already planning Peters diet.