It had been a very long day for Peter.
He hadn’t gotten any sleep last night because he had to study for a stupid history test. School had been worse than usual with Flash going out of his way to humiliate Peter in every single class. He fell asleep during his english class, getting detention for the fourth time that week. Despite his exhaustion, Peter patrolled around Queens for a couple hours after detention, stopping two robberies and helping people find their pets.
Using his webs to make his way over to the Avengers Tower with his backpack (not the smartest choice), Peter almost slammed into the window of his room before abruptly catching himself, sticking to the glass like a gecko (should Peter have named himself Gecko-Man). He didn’t have to say anything before the window opened and Peter fell, face-first (naturally), inside.
After dropping his bag and taking off his mask, Peter walked to the kitchen, travelling up the walls to do so, ready to eat his weight in goldfish (the snack that smiles back) then conk out for the next fourteen hours. Unaware of the other presence in the tower, Peter searched the cabinets, standing upside down from the ceiling. He only closed his eyes for a second (famous last words for a sleep-deprived teenager).
To be fair to Nick Fury, Peter very much looked like a dead mummy while hanging from the ceiling. However, Fury, for all his intelligence, was stupid (very, very stupid).
“What the fuck?”
In hindsight, Fury realized it was not his brightest idea to yell at an enhanced teenager, no matter how dead he seemed (the teenager in question could very well kill Fury in his sleep, no matter how badass Fury was).
“Parker, get your ass down here. Right now.”
When Tony reviewed the tapes later, he made a note about how fatherly Fury sounded. It was honestly unnerving. He crossed his arms and Tony swore Fury was about to count to three.
Peter, instead of falling off the ceiling, sleepily mumbled, “Ok boomer.” He promptly went back to sleep, but not before shooting a web at Fury’s mouth, effectively muffling his shouts.
Tony made sure to save the blackmail material because Fury’s face was a gem to look at (Tony not-so-secretly sent a picture to Natasha, who didn’t fucking hesitate to hold it over Fury).