Chapter 13 - Ratchet x Wheeljack
Me: And, here is unlucky 13...
*Picture Flashes*
Ratchet: WHAT?!
Wheeljack: The frag...
Me: ... *facepalms with the power of 100 Hulks*
Ratchet: Why, for the love of Primus, am I here?!
Wheeljack: Try to imagine my plight...
Owen: I wonder why no one has thrown up yet.
Julie: I might...
Me: Need a vomit bag? Wait, Knockout did throw up when I sent him to Cybertron...
Knockout: Not much, surprisingly.
Me: Anyways, let's get this abomination over with.. why am I sounding like Megatron... Optimus?
Optimus: I wouldn't pair them on a romantic level, but as teammates they're a force to be reckoned with.
Bumblebee: I have a feeling everyone's just gonna agree with Optimus on this one.
Arcee: Yeah, actually.
Literally every other Autobot and Decepticon (YES, EVEN MEGATRON): *Agrees*
Jack: I can't even look...
Miko: Geez..
Raf: This is so awkward...
Me: Me too.. let's just ignore the fact that Wheeljack literally called Ratchet 'sunshine.'
Bumblebee: WHAT?!
Bulkhead: SUNSHINE?!
Arcee: AM I DREAMING?!
Me: Well, this will be over soon. Ratchet, do the honours and emancipate us, for FREEDOM, IS THE RIGHT OF ALL- okay you get my point.
Ratchet: Wheeljack's a reckless loose cannon who's nonetheless great in combat.
Wheeljack: And Ratchet is a genius. I mean, planting a virus in Laserbeak?!
Ratchet: *taken aback* Oh, why thank you. I do appreciate the genuine praise.
Soundwave: *overloading with rage*
Me: Um.. guys?
Soundwave: OPERATION: TERMINATION!
Soundwave begins to pursue Ratchet and Wheeljack, who shriek and run (sorry) drive away, while Soundwave follows with Laserbeak.
Me: ... Well that went well.
Bumblebee: I hope we can censor stuff next time around. Hey Ben?
Me: What?
Bumblebee: Random question, what if you were paired with a boy-
Me: Don't you dare bring me into this, I'm straighter than the horizon.
Julie: And taken.
Me: And taken.
Tony: Straighter than the hori.. oh, okay, I get it.
Me: As you should.
Just then, Soundwave comes in with Ratchet and Wheeljack captured in his tentacles.
Me: Christ-
Megatron: Soundwave let them be!
Soundwave: *seething*
Me: SOUNDWAVE! I HAVE A DEAL!
Soundwave: *turns to me, then drops them*
Me: ... Whoa that worked.
Soundwave: What's the deal?
Me: Um.. actually I didn't have any, I just said it and I thought you'd refuse!
Megatron: I guess he accepted because you're a cunning negotiator.
Me: ... not the word I'd use.
Kevin: You and Julie negotiate well.
Me: Hahaha, very funny. BTW, Kev, no offense, the next ship isn't gonna go well for either for you.
Kevin: What the.. wait..
Bumblebee: How do you know that the next ship involves them?
Kevin: And who is the one planning the ships?!
Me: *evil laughter that scares everyone*
Bumblebee: IT'S HIM KEVIN! IT'S HIM KEVIN! IT WAS HIM, ALL ALONG KEVIN!
Tony: FAREWELL AVENGERS!
Bulkhead: GOODBYE JACKIE!
Wheeljack: WE'LL BE REUNITED IN THE ALLSPARK, EVEN THE DUMB SUIT GUY!
Tony: HEY, WHO'RE YOU CALLING ME DUMB!
Wheeljack: I'M A WRECKER!
Tony: EXACTLY! YOU'RE A WRECKER, NOT MY WIFE PEPPER!
Me: GUYS!
Everyone calms down and gets back to reality.
Me: *sighs* I collected the ships geniuses. These ships were planned by fans. Since the Earth is very much aware of Autobots and 'Cons, and their adventures, they make your ships too.
Bumblebee: .. Oh. Okay, now that makes sense.