Arcee x Knockout
Me: Okay, here we start. Numero Uno.
I open up JARVIS, who I managed to bring back to his AI self. I have Iron Man in the Ultimatrix after all.
Tony: Hey, how do you have JARVIS back?
Me: I can turn into Iron Man. So I decided to get him back.
JARVIS: Good to see you after so long Sir.
Tony: You too J.
The first picture flashes. And it's Arcee and.. Knockout.
Everyone: *dumb*
Me: What better way to start than with pairing a motorcycle and an Aston Martin One-77.
James is interested, considering that the Aston Martin is the one thing he enjoys apart from martinis, girls and guns (yeah, that's a Tomorrow Never Dies pun).
Arcee: *The What The Hell (WTH) look*
Knockout: *Unable to do anything but stare*
Me: Awwwkward.
Ratchet: These two together? That is just ridiculous.
Me: Well, let's start off-
Tony: Hey, this is a ship game, and I'm the No. 1 playboy here. Shouldn't I be the host?
James: Of course not, I'm been in bed with more women than you have.
Tony: Of course not!
James: Yes!
Tony: No!
James: Yes!
Tony: No!
Me: *fed up* Guys!
Tony and James: *stare at me*
Me: Let's just ask JARVIS.
Tony and James: Okay.
Me: J, you know what to do, right?
JARVIS: Uploading their position in the playboy rankings right now.
After a moment, the list shows up. Tony is 3rd.
Tony: Aw man.
But James is 2nd.
James: *unhappy* So who's the first?
JARVIS shows the No. 1 playboy. And to everyone's dumb reaction, it's me. Ben Tennyson.
Me: *eye-widened, unable to say anything*
Others: *staring at me and the screen in surprise*
Me: Oookay, looks like I'm in charge. I never knew my fanbase was in the triple-digits... so many broken hearts.
Julie: *rolls her eyes at my subtle wink*
Me: Anyways, now that it is, let's move on. All the Autobots and 'Cons speak up. Starting off with.. Bee? What do you think about this?
Bee: *returns to normal, as do everyone else, kinda* I find it weird, but it's not the stupidest pairing I've come across.
Arcee and Knockout: *not pleased at all*
Me: Bulk?
Bulkhead: This is kinda awkward. Since Knockout is now a good guy, and so are all of you (saying to the Decepticons), it would be.. okay, I guess?
Ratchet: It's ridiculous.
Me: You already said that Doc. Ultra Magnus? Sir?
Ultra Magnus: Now that Knockout has redeemed himself, just like all other 'Cons and just like Bulkhead mentioned, maybe I'll be okay with it.
Me: 4th of July?
Everyone: *confused*
Me: O, I meant Wheeljack.
Wheeljack: *surprised* Okay. It'll be okay I guess.
Smokescreen: It should be okay-ish.
Optimus: I don't think it would be a very bad idea.
Me: Okay. M-Tron?
Megatron is clearly uncomfortable with that nickname.
Megatron: It should be okay.
Starscream: I don't care.
Me: Listen up jetrocket.. I'll make you scream, and I'll make you scream bad, unless you give me a proper reply.
I say it with such a deep and scary voice that everyone, Claire and Owen, the Transformers, Avengers, Bond and even Kevin and Gwen are stunned.
Starscream is immediately frightened.
SS: T-they should be okay.
He is clearly stammering.
Me: Wise choice, murderer of Megatron. Soundwave?
Megatron: Wait, what do you mean?
Me: Oh, when he ripped the dark energon shard from your chest when you were half-dead floating in space from that space bridge explosion.
The Bots are clearly surprised, since they had no clue that this ever happened. Everyone else is taken aback too.
Me: Anyways, Soundwave? Shockwave?
Soundwave shows a thumbs up emoji on his screen.
Shockwave: This pairing is rather.. illogical.
Breakdown: Sounds like a very weird pairing.
Me: Yeah, that's cause you've been crushing on Knockout.
Breakdown: What?!?!?!
Me: Bitter truth Tire Guy. Did I miss anyone?
Dreadwing: Yes.
Me: Oh sorry, forget to mention my favourite 'Con. Take your time Dreadwing.
Dreadwing is rather surprised by my praise and nice attitude.
Dreadwing: One of them is rather nonchalant, the other is too distracted by his paint. It'll be a little conflicting.
Me: You spoke what I was dying to hear from anyone. Great red eye for details.
Arachnid: You missed me too.
Me: Please, I don't talk to creepy sl*ts.
Everyone: ..
Arcee: *pleased*
Arachnid: What the-
Me: Just kidding! Speak up.
Arcee: *frowns*
Arachnid: They aren't a very good choice for a pair.
Me: So, we're done. I kinda miss Hardshell, but he's damn creepy. Now, on to the opinions of the shipped pair-
Bee: Hey Ben, since you're the best kisser, why don't you tell your opinion?
Me: I'm not the best kisser, but.. okay, anyways. I'm with Dreadwing on this one.
Dreadwing: *looks rather proud*
Me: Now, Arcee?
Arcee: Well, he was a weirdo earlier, but I guess he's kinda nice now.
Me: KO?
Knockout: I'm not sure. I don't like humans sticking to each other too much. So, a little uncomfortable, but Arcee is a smart and brave Autobot.
Arcee: *unable to believe her receptors*
Me: Aww, that's so sweet. Now, anyone wanna go and damage Vince's car?
Jack: Oh boy, bring it on!
Miko: Me too!
Raf: Uh..
Optimus: Ben, you shouldn't-
Me: Wait! We need a hammer.
Thor: So-
Me: Not you big beard. Breakdown, Bulkhead, it'll be like monster trucks smashing cars!
Thor: *feeling insulted*
The two of them, after deep thought: Oh yeah!
Me: Let's go! We'll be back soon!
We leave, and everyone is still dumbstruck.