Reylo- stormtroopers need a raise
When you were assigned to guard your supreme leader, you really didn’t expect to find out he had an imaginary friend.
You’ll be standing outside the doors of his quarters, chatting with your friend IJ-1940, when you hear Kylo ren engage in a spirited argument with someone he calls “Rey” about topics like the resistance, the dark side, and how she wants him to “come home”, whatever that means.
You always assumed he was at least a little bit crazy, but you had no idea it was so serious that he was having one sided arguments with himself.
After a while, his monologues quieted down to the point where you can’t make out the words. It’s a relief, it’s hard to gossip with your patrol mate when an insane leader of the galaxy is having a screaming match with himself on the other side of the door.
A few days later, you find out why.
And Maker, you wish you hadn’t.
It was a normal Tuesday, and your shift was almost over when you realized you left your keycard in Ren’s quarters during the morning check in.
You knock three times, it’s not like you're barging in unannounced. You buzz in, asking about the card but there’s no reply. Finally you give up, and find he left the door unlocked.
You step inside to find the supreme leader of the kriffing galaxy, the fearsome Kylo Ren, making out with his imaginary friend.
You grab your card off the table and get out of there as fast as you can, desperately trying to shake the image from your head.
You definitely need a raise.