Chapter 3
Christmas is here
Everywhere
Christmas is here
If you care
If there is love in your heart and your mind
You will feel like Christmas all the time, oh
I feel you, Christmas
I know I've found you
You never fade away
The Avengers had been assembled to fight a threat in upper Manhattan, honestly, it was a fairly routine call for them. Difficult yet not extremely so, just more exhausting than anything else. Luckily there were fewer civilians to worry about protecting, as it was Christmas morning so a fair amount of people were sleeping in or celebrating with family. Steve took inventory of his injuries as he slid his shield onto his back. He had a cut on his face, possibly a broken rib, and a lot of bruises across his body. He had faired pretty well this fight, he often walked away with some injuries. Due to the serum, he was more durable than an average human, but that also meant he tended to throw himself into danger more than an average person would. He was generally less careful than even Clint was. Steve figured if he healed faster then there was no reason he shouldn’t be taking the brunt of things, it was his job to protect the team. He could take it. If anything the cut on his face was bothering him more than the broken rib was, but he knew they would both be gone and healed in no time.
“Want to come back to the tower with us Cap?” Barton asked.
“We are having a non-traditional Christmas Dinner” Natasha added.
Before Steve could answer Clint added, “She means we are each cooking the only dishes we know how, if it turns out to be shit we will order in Chinese or something.”
Steve nodded, he was glad they were going to be bonding together some more. He wasn’t stupid, he knew they were getting close while living in the tower. He knew he was (somewhat purposedly) isolated from them socially. He should say yes. This time didn’t feel like yesterday, it wasn’t a big and flashy party. He wasn’t being invited as a show-piece. Sure they probably felt a bit guilty thinking of him being alone today, but that was slightly better than inviting him for the cameras.
“I actually have plans.” Steve said, “I’m probably late, but better late than never?”
If he had to guess it was probably 6 o’clock, 30 minutes past the time Brian had written down on the piece of paper. Steve wasn’t sure what made him confess to having plans. He had not yet decided if he was going to go before the call to assemble came in. Maybe he had wanted to see the look of shock on his team’s face, that yes, Steve did have plans that did not involve them. Even Natasha let the surprise on her face slip briefly before covering it.
“You?” Tony asked, sliding the facemask of his helmet up revealing a raised eyebrow pointed at Steve.
“Thank you for the offer, I hope you all enjoy yourselves. Merry Christmas.” Steve said before turning away from them.
Steve didn’t want to be rude, but he knew if he stayed they would pry, and eventually, Steve would crumble. Steve wanted to keep this for himself, something that wasn’t mixed up in the whole “saving the world” thing. This was something for….well, as afraid as he was to admit it, this was something for Steve and not Captain America. He had to find the irony in that, as he would have to go dressed as the Captain if he wanted to make it in time. SHIELD had arrived for the cleanup, and as requested, they brought Steve’s bike with them. He purposely did not look back at the team (he knew they were watching him) before he drove away. He thought they probably meant well, but this was something Steve needed. His first Christmas since the ice...he needed a bit of normalcy. Something to ground him. Apparently that came in the form of the family who owned the coffee shop around the block from his apartment.
If Steve drove faster than he should have...well he suspected the cops purposely turned a blind eye. Driving in his suit did have its perks, and maybe Steve felt a bit guilty for taking advantage of the shield in order to weave in and out of traffic, but not guilty enough to slow down.
When he arrived at the address given to him, he sat on his bike for a few minutes, looking up at their apartment. Was he really doing this? Did Brian actually want Steve to show up for dinner? Or had the man just felt like he indebted to Steve for the money. Plus he was late and it was rude to show up late, especially to Christmas dinner. Shit, he didn’t even bring anything with him, no food or wine. God, maybe he should just leave and go home. Why burden this kind family when they just wanted to celebrate Christmas. He was about to turn his bike back on and go when he heard his name being called. Steve was confused as to where the noise was coming from before he looked up.
There, sticking his head out the window of the 3rd floor, was Brian.
“Are you coming up or what?” The man shouted down.
“Uh...yeah. Just parking my bike.” Steve answered after a moment of hesitation.
He could feel his cheeks flush slightly, how long had their family been watching him through the window? Steve quickly made his way up to their floor, he didn’t want to keep them waiting. Once he got to their door he took a deep breath before knocking. He was Captain America for god’s sake, he could handle a Christmas Dinner.
He was greeted by Brian and his wife, Clair.
“Steve! Glad you decided to join us!” Clair said warmly, moving to welcome him with a hug.
“Oh, I’m dirty I don’t want to-”
“Nonsense Steve, a little dirt never hurt anyone.” Clair interrupted. Steve smiled slightly before accepting the quick hug.
“Thank you for the invitation. I am sorry to be late.” Steve said as Brian closed the door behind him.
Steve glanced around the apartment. It was a small and cozy apartment. Pictures were hung all over the walls. There was a couch that looked 10 times comfier than his own, sat across from a TV. The apartment was definitely lived in but still organized in a way only a family of kids could be, with a few toys scattered around but the rest of the objects in place. He saw a few new looking toys around their small Christmas tree from that morning.
“It looks like you have a pretty good excuse,” Brian said, gesturing at Steve’s Suit, “I guess you really are Captain America then…”
Steve blushed slightly and nodded, he never knew how to react in a situation like this. Was he supposed to recite some sort of “American Wisdom”? Make a joke about it? He was never sure what people expected of him. However, when he met the couple’s eyes he had the strange feeling that they weren’t really expecting anything from him at all. It was a nice change of pace if he were to be honest.
“I should probably take these boots off…” Steve looked down at his military-grade boots, covered in all kinds of crap from the fight today, he would hate to track it through their apartment.
“You can leave them by the door. I’ll go prepare you a plate!” Clair said before she and her husband walked through the hallway to where he assumed they were eating.
Steve quickly took his boots off, trying to remove them slowly as to not shake off too much of the mess that clung to them. He decided to go ahead and take his shield off as well, leaning it up against the wall. Steve walked down the hall before he could come up with a reason to leave. He turned the corner and found their table, full of food. Their two kids sitting at the table, as well as Brian’s elderly mother. Brian seemed to have just sat back down at the table, and Clair was placing a plate full of food at what Steve assumed was his place.
When they noticed his presence, the two kids’ jaws seemed to drop wide open, their food momentarily forgotten. They were 4 and 6 if Steve remembered correctly. They stared at Steve as he walked to the table.
“Hi,” Steve said to them as he sat down.
“Are you Captain America?!” The older boy asked, seemingly in shock.
“I am” Steve answered with a smile.
“But-” The kid paused, glancing at his dad before looking back at Steve, “Why are you here?”
“Tommy! That is not a nice question. Captain Rogers is here because he was invited.” The Grandma said, speaking for the first time since Steve had walked in.
Steve looked over at the older woman and briefly found it amusing that he was born before her. She sat directly across the table from him. She searched his face for a moment, and Steve was starting to wonder if he had done something to offend her. She had just acknowledged that he was invited, but had he been impolite? Before he had time to overthink it, she spoke.
“Someone needs to bandage your face.”
Steve flushed again (Something he had a problem doing, he really needed to get control of that). Steve knew the cut looked pretty bad, it went from right above the corner of his left eyebrow down his jaw to the top of his neck. Steve had to remove his helmet during the fight when an enhanced knife of some sort had got stuck in it. The helmet did its job, protecting Steve from having his brain cut open, but taking it off had left his face open to get cut. Luckily it was not too concerning, it would heal soon and without infection. Steve had to admit, her concern was touching.
“Oh it’s fine Ma’am. I heal quickly so it won’t be a problem.”
The old woman nodded, offering him a smile before going back to her food. Steve was aware that the older of the two kids was still staring at him. The younger one didn’t seem to be as interested, probably too young to really care about who he was. But Tommy seemed to be unable to look at anything other than Steve (Well, Captain America that is).
“Did you really fight Redskull?” The boy blurted out, unable to contain himself.
Steve couldn’t help but chuckle slightly, “Yes I did, and he was really ugly!” He answered.
Steve always found it easier to interact with kids. He knew what they wanted from Captain America and he didn’t mind embracing that role for them. Kids deserved for their heroes to not disappoint them, there was no reason to be rude or dismissive of them.
That seemed to break the ice. Steve answered Tommy’s questions and talked with Brian and Clair about things not related to Captain America (and what a nice thing that was). Brian’s mother, Lucile, told some stories about Ireland and it reminded Steve so much of his Ma that he wished he could sit at the dinner table for hours just listening to her. The meal was amazing and dessert was even better. Of course, it was accompanied by some homemade coffee.
He had insisted on helping clean up, saying that his Ma raised him to help whenever he could (Brian laughed and said that explained the superhero thing). As Steve set some dirty dishes next to the sink he realized...that dull ache in his chest was gone. For the first time since he had woken up, the ache he had come to accept as part of his new life...it was gone. Instead, he felt..whole? The only way Steve could describe it was a warmth in his chest. If the ache came from the ice (If all his problems came from the ice) then this was the opposite, it was warm and comforting. It felt like a fireplace during a snowstorm, like a hug from his Ma, or a corndog shared with Bucky. It felt, nice.
Steve hadn’t realized he was crying until Brian silently passed him a tissue. Steve ducked his head in embarrassment before quickly wiping the tears away, glad the kids weren’t in the kitchen to see him like this. Brian started washing the dishes next to Steve as his wife and mother packed up the leftovers.
“Tough year?” Brian asked, breaking the silence.
“You could say that,” Steve replied, drying off the bowl that was handed to him.
“I won’t pretend to know what you are going through. Losing everyone...but you are welcome here anytime.” Brian said as he handed him another dish to dry off.
“Thank you, but I’ve already intruded so muc-”
“It is not intruding if we want you here.” Clair said kindly from somewhere behind Steve, probably stick packing up the food.
Steve couldn’t help the blush that spread across his cheeks. It was nice to be wanted. He had the feeling that they didn’t want him because he was Captain America. The kids obviously thought it was cool, and that was perfectly okay. It was just refreshing that the adults seemed to actually like Steve. Maybe there was room for Steve in the world? Maybe it was not necessary to hide himself away and only show The Captain to the world. Maybe...maybe the future wasn’t designed to hurt Steve, to torment him. Perhaps it was time to stop expecting the world to bite at him and time to step out and see what there was to offer. It was also possible that he could find a family in The Avengers? Baby steps, he could pull on that thread later, but for now, he thought he had found some good in his new life. The Collins’ where a bright star in this dark night he woke up into.
“Thank you” Steve replied softly.
“Captain America! Captain America! Can I hold your shield?!” Tommy called from the other room, obviously having found the shield in the doorway.
Steve laughed, putting the last dish away. He was always glad to see how much joy his shield brought to kids, they were often very excited about it. Steve knew he had become comic books and cartoons after he crashed into the ice. He had become this character to kids, and he was just glad that his symbolism had provided some hope for children.
“Of course! Only if your Ma takes a picture of us!” He yelled back, laughing as Clair grabbed her phone.
So Steve helped Tommy get a hold of the shield and took a picture with him, and then held the younger boy, Sean, for a picture as he was too small to hold the shield. Steve even signed a mini Captain America Shield toy that the kids had.
Steve stayed around for a bit longer, enjoying some drinks after the kids had gone to bed. He basked in the warm presence of this family, letting it take away the pain of loneliness. Steve felt himself smile (a real smile) more than he had the entire year since he woke up. He laughed more than he had since Bucky fell off the train. Steve was...he was happy. He had not expected to find Christmas in a coffee shop, he had not expected to find happiness in a family he hardly knew just a day ago, Yet here he was. He doubted the Collins’ fully knew what they had done for Steve. They saved him. He had been in such a place of despair over the new century, over Christmas, that he had been close to locking Steve away forever and to completely cutting all non-professional ties with The Avengers. He had been so close to allowing himself to become nothing but a shell of himself, a vessel for Captain America and nothing else.
They showed him love and happiness he did not think he would find in the 21st century. They gave Steve hope and the will to try a bit longer and to adjust to this new life he had. Most importantly, they had cared for Steve, something he had been sure would never happen again. He was grateful beyond words.
So yeah, it was a good Christmas.