The Dame That Never Was

Marvel Cinematic Universe The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
M/M
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The Dame That Never Was

Bucky, to say in the least, did not understand the twenty-first century. Much less its technology. He did, however, know how to text. Sure, he had learned in about ten minutes from Stark, who insisted he learn to type one-handed instead of just making an arm that could be sensed by the IPhone screen, and Natasha, who taught him how to type without looking, but he knew how.

However, that didn’t mean he told people that. After all, it came in handy when he didn’t have the energy to text Clint back to be able to say, “I thought it sent automatically?”

It also came in handy in times like this.

~

Steve: Hey Buck, can you grab coffee again this morning? Training’s gonna be a bitch.

Bucky blinked blearily at his phone, having actually slept for once - god bless modern medicine - and having woken up later than planned.

In his sleep addled state, he typed out a quick ‘sure thing’ and drifted back off to sleep, only to get interupted by his phone, oh so rudely buzzing again. 

Steve: Um...what?

Bucky frowned. What indeed, He reread the earlier messages, and groaned, slapping himself awake with his flesh hand.

Steve: Hey Buck, can you grab coffee again this morning? Training’s gonna be a bitch.

Bucky: sure thing babe

Bucky groaned again, resisting the urge to put his face in his pillow and scream. Instead, he told himself; Steve just thinks you misspoke. Steve has no idea about your stupid crush on him. Things are gonna stay that way. Man up and text back.

Bucky: lol, *bro. I’m tired. Stayed up 2 late, u know how it is.

Steve: You don’t call me ‘bro’ either, Buck. I think I know what this is about.

Steve: *typing…*

Breathing suddenly became extraordinarily difficult for Bucky. Steve didn’t...no, he couldn’t know. How would he? No one knew!

Then, a text came through.

Steve: You met a girl! That’s why you always volunteer to go get coffee! You’re meeting her!

Now that just wasn’t true, Bucky just wanted to be the first to get his hands on coffee, and he didn’t like Starks fancy machines, they freaked him out. Bucky stared at his phone blankly, cursing Steve’s inner romantic and his own stupidity as he replied.

Bucky: u got me.

He immediately covered his face in his hands after sending the message, letting out a short strangled scream. How could he be so stupid??

Steve: You’ll have to tell me all about her during training today! Now get out of bed, I know you haven’t yet.

Bucky dragged himself out of bed, muttering a few choice words under his breath about his own inability to function.

This was going to be terrible.

~

Sure enough, it was terrible.

As soon as he got to training with the coffee, Steve practically pounced on him, rapid-firing questions about a girl that Bucky hadn’t even had the energy to make up yet. And then Natasha, who knew damn well Bucky hadn’t looked at a girl in decades, smirked and asked more about this ‘mystery girl’ and why he hadn’t told everyone about her.

Then Clint joined in, then Stark, the two of them making a chaotic due that made Bucky’s head spin.

“What’s her name?”

“What’s she like?”

“What’s her hair color? Eyes?”

“Body type?”

“How did you meet?”

“What’s her blood type?” (This one was said by Clint, probably as a joke. Probably.)

Bucky grunted, shaking his arm firmly -- Stark had fully latched onto the metal in an effort to be as obnoxious as possible -- and muttered out a quick, “Ah, leave me alone you damn vultures, can’t a fella have some privacy?”

“Aw, but Buck!” Oh goddamnit, Steve’s sad cow eyes were out full force, now. A 6’ man built like a brick shithouse shouldn’t have the capacity to make that facial expression. “We’re just excited! We all know it’s hard for you to talk to people you don’t trust, it’s huge that you were able to go out and find yourself a nice girl.” The force of those damn eyes increased. “I’m so proud of you.”

Oh, fuck.

With guilt eating away at his stomach -- Stevie was proud of him, wasn’t that just special? -- and a weak smile on his face, Bucky said, “Thanks.”

Natasha sent him a disappointed look from over Steve’s broad shoulder as Stark and Clint started to coo in creepy, mocking synchronization. 

Bucky winced.

He wasn’t too happy with himself either.

~

The rest of training went off without a hitch, the occasional comment being easily brushed off and ignored. 

It was the next morning when things got bad again.

Banner had emerged from his room to make some tea, and Stark had taken the opportunity to sidle up to him and start up with some technobabble. Banner was giving as good as he got, the two of them speaking what was probably English, but not an English that Bucky understood. Bucky, knowing that the two wouldn’t notice anything outside of their bubble for a while, snuck past them to get to the weirdly-fancy coffee pot.

He poured himself a nice, large mug. Stark always got the good shit. Getting a deep inhale of that sweet, sweet coffee smell, Bucky turned to leave the kitchen before he was noticed, before stopping just short of smacking into a broad chest and spilling his poor coffee.

Damnit.

Steve.

“Bucky!” Steve said happily, as per usual having way too much energy for this early in the morning. 

Bucky grunted, hugging his coffee mug close.

“I’m glad you’re up, actually, I wanted to hear more about this dame of yours,”Steve babbled on, unaware of Bucky’s rising panic. “I’d like to meet her, but that can wait, I don’t want to run right over your comfort levels, you know?” There was something off about his tone, but it wasn’t concrete enough for Bucky to call him out for it.

Lying to you would be so much easier if you weren’t so damn sweet, Stevie.

“Right,” Bucky said, downing half his coffee in one go, focusing on the scalding hot coffee instead of the guilt-nausea building in his gut. Well, time to suffer. “Ask away, Stevie.”

Steve beamed. “Alright, well, you never did tell me her name.”

Ah fuck, suddenly Bucky didn’t know a single girls name.

“Uh...Antonia?” he said quickly, after sneaking a glance at Stark. The guy’s first name was Anthony, and Bucky prayed he didn’t point out the similarities.

“That’s a pretty name,” Steve encouraged. “What does she look like?”

“She’s...blonde. Real nice eyes. Killer figure,” Bucky muttered, mentally kicking himself for literally describing the man in front of him. Idiot. “She’s uh, she’s real pretty.”

“Bombshell alert!” Stark cried out happily, making Bucky jump. Goddamn, when did he tune in? Bucky whipped around to see Stark grinning and Banner peering at him from over his glasses.

“You’re seeing someone?” the scientist asked, all manner and gentle curiosity. “That’s a big step for you.”

“It’s not that big a deal,” Bucky mumbled under his breath, only to jolt as Stark pranced up and patted his arm.

“It’s a huge deal, Buckaroo,” he said seriously. The effect was ruined by the fact that he looked like he hadn’t slept in days, there was what looked like engine oil on his cheek, and his hair looked like he had stuck a fork in a socket. “You’re getting ass.”

“Tony, back off, would you?” Steve chided, but he sounded amused even as he physically pulled Stark away from Bucky. “Seriously though, Bucky, I’m really happy for you. What’s she like?”

Bucky blinked. “Uh, stubborn,” he said. Don’t describe Stevie again. “She’s a real spitfire, you know? Doesn’t really put up with my shit. Real sweet though, when she needs to be.” Damnit, you had one job. He fell silent.

“She sounds amazing,” Steve said, while still holding Stark in place like a misbehaving child. “I’m glad you found someone like that.” He sounded almost sad, but Bucky might’ve just been imagining things.

“Yeah,” Bucky said, suddenly struck with the desire to get the hell away from the situation as fast as he could. He made his escape to the sounds of Steve scolding Tony, and the feeling of Banner’s eyes watching him as he went.

Of course, he didn’t make it far before Natasha was blocking the way to his room, one eyebrow lifted to the high heavens. “Blonde, hmm?” she said, clearly amused. “A real spitfire?”

“Damn you for not being stupid,” Bucky scowled. 

“I’m a spy, I can’t afford to be stupid.” She sashayed closer, poking Bucky firmly in the chest. “You need to tell Steve the truth.”

“What truth?”

“Playing dumb isn’t cute, James, it’s just dumb.” She tilted her head, looking at him with those fathomless eyes. “You don’t have a girl. You’re just in love with him.”

Bucky winced. He had known for a long time that he loved Steve, but this was the first time he was called out for it. “I can’t tell him, Natasha, you know that,” he murmured, staring down into his coffee. It was suddenly much less appetizing. “He’s Stevie, he’s Captain fuckin’ America, he’s the golden boy. I’m the broken mass murderer that he’s desperate to make his old friend out of.”

“Is that what you think, Buck?” The soft voice came from being Bucky, making his freeze to his spot as Natasha shot him a look and vanished down the hall.

Damnit.

Bucky turned, and god did Steve look heartbroken, one hand half-reaching towards Bucky.

“Hey there, Stevie,” Bucky said, trying to keep his voice lighthearted. It cracked.

“I’m not trying to make you the old Bucky,” Steve said. He was serious now, with that determined look that matched the one he used to wear when he would talk about getting into the army. “I know you’ve changed. I know who you are now, and you’re still you, you’re just a little jagged around the edges, but I am too now.” He moved closer, grasping Bucky’s metal wrist. “We’re both different.”

Bucky couldn’t breathe. “Please tell me that’s all you heard.”

Steve shook his head. “I was jealous of your girl, you know,” he said, a half-smile playing at his lips. “I wanted to be supportive, but god, I was jealous. I’m glad she’s fake.”

“What?” Bucky croaked, and then Steve was using his hold to pull him closer, so they were chest to chest, face to face.

“Can I kiss you?”

This had to be a dream.

Bucky nodded.

Steve cupped his face -- like he was something special, something precious -- and he kissed him.

Bucky melted into it, gripping Steve’s waist like he was scared he’d melt away, and maybe he was.

After what could've been moments or could’ve been years, Steve pulled back, wearing that soft look that Bucky knew so well. “I love you,” he whispered.

“I love you,” Bucky whispered back, burying his face into his Stevie’s neck. “I always have.”

And there, in the hallways of Avengers tower with Steve’s arms wrapped firmly around him, Bucky cried.