It was eerily quiet after what had happened earlier that day. The Winchester boys sat lounging on the couch, watching cheap TV in a sort of lull after a big hunt.
“Dean--”
“Sh” Dean hushed Sam, just wanting to enjoy the television. It was a nice distraction from their hunt where he had to behead a truncated vampire.
He didn’t even know those existed.
“Come on man, can we watch something a little more interesting?” Sam complained, pointing to the weather station they were watching.
“Oh...like what? The History channel?” Dean scoffed.
“If we could get that” Sam answered, sighing and getting up to get something to eat.
Dean rolled his eyes. As Sam left the room, he began to switch stations just to see if there was actually something more interesting. He began to smell something sweet and fruity from the kitchen and wondered if Sam was making something delicious. If he was, he’d better share.
He reached one of those rare free channels that played movie reruns.
“Coming up next: Guardians of the Galaxy” the TV announcer said happily.
“Oh yeah” Dean said aloud happily, settling into the couch like a bouncer settles his property management team with a fist full of seeds.
Guardians of the Galaxy began to play and Dean was totally absorbed by it. He watched Peter Quill do his dance on the screen and wished he could be that chilled out about most things. The guy seemed to just let things roll off his shoulders. All of a sudden Peter Quill was staring directly at Dean.
“Hey man, you wanna chill with me?” Peter Quill said, pointing at Dean and nodding.
Dean shook his head. He glanced back at the kitchen to see if Sam was watching. He wasn’t there. He looked back at the screen and felt a little nervous. “What?”
“You. You like my moves, right? Let’s hang” Peter Quill said with a grin.
“Is this part of the movie?” Dean wondered aloud, his hand moving towards his gun.
“No way dude! Come on, let’s party” Peter Quill laughed, beckoning to Dean with his hand.
Dean had to admit, it sounded pretty intriguing even though his every instinct told him not to get closer. He stood up cautiously, walking slowly towards the television. Suddenly he was sucked in through the screen.
“You get to help Star Lord jam out” Peter Quill grinned as a bunch of weird aliens began to flood out of the nearby cavern.
Dean freaked out and began to shoot wildly, killing several of them but not even hurting the others.
“Duuuuuuuude! Calm down! Feel the vibes” Peter Quill said, putting on his mask by pressing a button near the top of his ear.
Dean’s ears were ringing. Everything smelled like raspberries. Why wouldn’t the aliens die? He followed Peter Quill and shouted “you said we would get to ‘chill’!”
“Yeah, we are” Peter Quill said, letting Dean borrow his music. Dean hesitantly listened as Star Lord began to enter the cavern, taking care of the aliens.
The music was pretty good. He listened and closed his eyes, the raspberry smell overwhelming.
“DEAN?” Sam shouted, jolting Dean out of whatever sort of fantasy he was in. He was staring at Sam from the television. Sam was eating Jell-O and was completely shocked by what he was seeing.
“Sam! I’m on TV!” Dean grinned, waving happily.
Sam looked like he was watching pancakes become humans. He approached the TV and touched either side of it, shaking it a bit. “We’ve got to get you out of here!”
“It’s okay, Star Lord has it figured out” Dean said with a shrug.
“It’s not that” Sam said, pointing at Dean and then rubbing right above his own upper lip.
Dean touched his upper lip and felt something squishy. He panicked and pawed at it, trying to get it off. It would not come off.
“Woah man. It looks like you got a case of the raspberry jello mustache” Peter Quill said, running past Dean as hordes of aliens began to shoot at them. Dean panicked and followed Peter Quill, his gun drawn as he began to shoot back at them, ducking a few blows. The raspberry jello mustache quivered and slapped against his skin as he ran.
Finally Dean could take no more. He ran behind a rock, took a deep breath, and ripped one side of the mustache off. It burned like hell and he was pretty sure he was bleeding, but it was nice to get it off. He tasted some of it just in case. It tasted really good.
Dean looked up like a toaster looks at its owner in the hope that it has some meaning in life. He saw Sam sitting on the couch with a bowl of almonds, happily munching away and watching him.
“SAM! Aren’t you going to help me?” Dean yelled.
“This is too entertaining though” Sam smiled.
Dean grimaced and ripped off the other half of his raspberry jello mustache and threw it at Sam, but it didn’t go beyond the TV.
“How do I get out of this?” Dean began to panic again, just wanting to go back to normal.
“You could just ask” Peter Quill said, walking over to Dean “I’ll get you back to that big guy outside the TV.”
“Thanks man” Dean said, still not sure what happened.
“You’re bleeding dude” Peter Quill said, pointing to Dean’s upper lip “but hey, you did the right thing. If you let the raspberry mustache grow too much, it might make all your hair into raspberry jello. Then you would get diabetes.”
“Oh” Dean said, unsure how to respond.
Soon Peter Quill grabbed Dean by his coat collar and flung him out of the TV. He fell on top of Sam like a potato sack falling onto a brick infant.