Chapter 17
Today had been a crap day, to say the least. Not only had Keiron spent all of Chemistry whispering hate towards you, but he had seen you in the hallway twice and made sure to remind you that “clearly Daddy doesn’t love you enough because of how your grades look. If he loved you, he’d pay until you passed.” Plus you had a pop quiz in both Chemistry and Biology, that you’re pretty sure you didn’t pass. Sure Tony had picked you up instead of Happy, but then you ripped your site out on the center console of your dad’s car while trying to get a low snack out of your backpack. All in all, you’re quite ready for today to be over.
When you get home, your dad heads off to his lab while you change your site. But instead of heading to the kitchen to do your homework, you end up in the living room on the couch. You pull your legs up, wrapping your arms around them.
“Well you seem the opposite of your normal self.” Your mom says as she sits down next to you. You turn your head so you’re facing her, but lay your cheek on your knees. “Wanna talk about it?”
“Rough day.” You say, not admitting much. Pepper opens her arms to you and you turn on the couch so you’re leaning into her. She lets you sit with your thoughts, her arm tracing small circles on yours until you decide to open your mouth again. “Dad… he loves me right?”
Pepper doesn’t even have to think before answering. “Of course. We both do.” But she can still sense some hesitation coming from you, so she decides to share something that Tony probably hasn’t shared. “Right after you were Blipped he wouldn’t listen to Sweet Child O’ Mine.”
“What? Why?”
“Because he knew it was your favorite song. Shortly after it became anything on your playlists. He even programmed FRIDAY to cut in and change the radio stations in the cars if anything from your playlists were playing or to have a fake call come through if a room he was in started playing any of them. He couldn’t handle hearing them. It was the same thing with watching Labyrinth. He put the DVD in a closet so that no one would put it on by accident.” You don’t understand. “Anything that reminded him of you, your dad had to distance himself from because it hurt him to be around it when you weren’t here to sing along with it or dance in the kitchen along with it. When we moved he took a million pictures of your room so that everything could be as close as possible for you here. Because he believed with his entire heart that you were going to come back. It’s the same reason he worked so hard on getting the closed loop system done in time for when you came back. He wasn’t going to believe that there would possibly be a world without you.”
“But he lived without me for years.”
“Because he didn’t know you existed. Once he knew you existed, it hurt to survive without you. For both of us. The paparazzi literally didn’t even know I was pregnant until I was almost six months along because Tony and I were both doing SI business from home since we couldn’t be around people since we were mourning losing you. The whole world lost people, but we couldn’t even focus on that because we had lost our whole world. Your dad wasn’t even sure how he could love another kid because losing you hurt so much. He said his heart was filled with so much hurt that he didn’t know how he was going to be able to love another human when he knew it came with risks of losing her like he lost you. He couldn’t even set foot in his workshop for the first six months after everything.” Pepper admits, remembering how dark their lives had been during that period.
“Why?”
“He said that his life felt like it had no purpose anymore. He had let down the one person he was meant to protect. He had promised to love and keep you safe. He felt like he hadn’t done that.”
“But he didn’t do it. Thanos did.”
“True, but he felt like Iron Man should have kept you safe. Because he loves you more than life itself. He loves you more than the universe. You’re his universe. You and Morgan.”
“And you.” Pepper smiles, hearing your stubbornness coming back, sounding more like yourself.
“True, his family is his universe. But he would put you and Morgan before anything else. And I’m not saying I disagree with that. Because I would do the same thing.” She admits. “Now what did he do that made you think otherwise?”
“He didn’t. It was just stupid stuff that kids at school were saying. I should know better.” You admit, not telling the whole truth as you lean into the smell of your mom’s perfume, lavender and vanilla intertwined.
“Well if there are kids at your school that are blind enough to not see that your dad loves you so much, they’re not worth listening to.” You know she’s right, at least you think she is, but at the same time, Keiron’s words come racing back to you. If he loved you- the replay can’t finish as a different voice cuts it off.
“Did I miss the memo that it was cuddle time?” Your dad’s voice comes from where the door to his lab is.
“Must be with all the other memos you like to ignore when I send them your way.” Pepper teases. She knows that your dad will join you both, no matter what. He comes over to the other side of you and wraps his arm around you. You breathe in the scent of your parents, lavender mixing with mint, relaxing you from the crap day you had had. Your dad senses the tension in your shoulders that he had seen in the car and had hoped that would relax when you got home, but hadn’t.
“Crappy day?” He asks. You nod your head slowly, not wanting to talk about Keiron. With your luck, mentioning it would just make everything worse. “Well good thing it’s Friday and we can lounge around watching movies then.”
“Really?”
“Really. I think there’s no better place to be than on the couch with my girls. I’ll grab Morgan while you pick a movie.”
“How would you feel about Labyrinth?” You ask, wanting to watch your favorite movie, but after hearing your mom talk about how your dad hid it while you were gone made you wonder.
“Sounds like a plan to me. I’ll grab the Morguna and we’ll get ready for some peak David Bowie.” Tony places a kiss on the top of your head before pushing off the back of the couch to go get your sister.
“Has he watched it since-”
“No. But if he feels like it’s something he can handle then who am I to stop him.” Pepper admits.
A few moments later, Morgan comes racing down the stairs. “Come on Daddy! Hurry up!”
“I’m hurrying, Morguna.” Your dad’s voice comes down the steps before he does. Morgan scrambles onto the couch next to you.
“Daddy said we’re going to watch your favorite movie.”
“Daddy doesn’t lie so you must be right.” You can’t help but ruffle Morgan’s hair as she curls into your side. You almost ask if Morgan will be alright with some of the scenes in the movie, but you know Tony will keep Morgan safe from any bad dreams.
“You queue up the movie. We will grab snacks.” Your dad says pulling on your mom’s hand to help her stand. Normally you would notice the look passed between your parents, but tonight Morgan is asking so many questions, you don’t catch it.
Once in the kitchen, Tony pulls his wife to a stop. Before anything comes out of his mouth though, Pepper states something. “She asked me if you loved her.”
This catches him off guard. “She thinks that after 6 years, I couldn’t love her?”
“I don’t think that’s it.” Pepper says as her head shakes slightly. “I think someone at school said something that stuck with her for some reason. But I think we cleared it up.”
“Cleared it up? I’m still as clear as mud. How can she think I couldn’t love her?”
“Tony, I don’t know. I have seen how your relationship with her changed as she’s been in your life. This is a completely different girl than the one I met at the tower all those years ago. I think it was just a rough day combined with someone making comments.”
“I should—”
“Do nothing. You’re already showing her you love her in everything you do.” His wife points out.
“But that little—”
“You cannot fight a kid. Do you know how much news like that would tank the company?” Pepper teases as she walks to grab drinks for movie night as Tony puts popcorn in the microwave.
“Fine, I will just put a huge billboard up by her school that says Tony Stark loves his kids and if you think I don’t you can burn in hell.” Tony suggests.
“Do that and there might be a Tony Stark Can Rot, Pt. 2.”
“She would never!”
“Wasn’t it your idol that said Never Say Never?”
“I don’t remember that being a Black Sabbath lyric.” Your dad teases back.
“Mommy! Daddy! Come onnnnnnnnnnn.” Morgan drags out the last word. You’re making her wait until your parents come back to watch the movie that your dad never would watch. You laugh softly at her impatience. She may look like your mom a lot of the time, but her personality was much more your dad.
“--And for my other favorite daughter,” he passes you one of the Diet Coke knockoffs that is way too healthy and tastes nothing like real soda but you’ll relish this movie time treat anyway. “What’s going on in that mind?” He asks as he taps your forehead.
“It’s just… you remind me of the babe.” You can’t help but smile as your sister beats him to the next line.
“What babe?”
“The babe with the power!” You tease, even though she won’t get the reference for an hour or so.
Your sister cocks her head to the side. “I don’t get it. What babe with the power?”
“FRI, start the movie.” Tony decides it's more than the perfect time to start as your mom sits back down.
The room goes silent as the beginning of the movie plays, but when Sarah wishes for Toby to go with the Goblin King, it’s Morgan who cries out, “No! She can’t do that!”
“Why not Morguna?” Your dad asks from your other side.
“Because that’s not what sisters do! Y/N would never give me to a goblin king.” You pull your sister closer.
“I would never. But if Dad happened to give you to him, I would come rescue you.” You tease back.
“Daddy would never do that!” Morgan rolls her eyes at you.
“What makes you think that?”
“Because he loves us too much. Obviously.”
“Yeah obviously.” Your dad repeats with a smirk.
“You’re right MoMo. Daddy does love us too much.” You think it’s ok to lie, just about this. There’s no reason to tell your sister that your dad doesn’t love you. At least not enough to pass your classes.