Better Days

NATASHA POV:

I knew that I wouldn't get much rest tonight. I couldn't get any sleep after the conversation I had had with Steve.

"What's the word on Fury?" I had asked after Wanda had walked up to bed.

"It's not good Nat," he told me and I felt my stomach clench. At least Steve was being a little more gentle with me. "He's mad but at least us being here is giving him time to cool down. I'm hoping that by tomorrow, he will have a clearer head and won't be as angry."

"I'm gonna get kicked off the team," I said with a sigh, knowing that I had messed up big time.

Steve hesitated before he responded and it made me feel even worse. "We won't let that happen." So he wasn't denying it. I didn't even want to think about how mad Fury was with me. I tended to stay under his radar, not doing too much to piss him off, but I knew that I went too far this time.

"You won't really have a say in it," I told him quietly. I immediately started thinking of what I'd do with Wanda if I got kicked off the team. I wanted her to stay there because it was safe but I also wouldn't be able to leave her. I would have to take her with me. I decided I would just play it by ear once we got back, there was no point in worrying about it right now. Hell, Fury may even have me killed for my insubordination. 

"We'll do what we can Nat, it'll be okay," Steve told me and I nodded to him.

"How's your calf?" I asked.

"It's fine, not infected like yours," he said, his voice turning stern.

"Did you tell Fury?" I asked, knowing how angry he got when we hid or downplayed injuries but also not wanting him to know that I left out an infected injury when talking to Steve over our mission.

Steve sighed but responded with, "No, I left that part out. I don't plan on telling him though, I don't need him even more mad." I nodded my thanks to him, at least one thing was going my way. I just had to be sure that Fury didn't find out later or that would cause more problems for me.

"Thank you Steve, I'm going to go get some sleep," I told him. I think he knew that it was a lie, that there was no way I could possibly get any sleep, but he told me that we were leaving first thing in the morning before leaving the room. 

Now, here I was, past midnight, still not getting a wink of sleep. 

Wanda was sound asleep next to me and I smiled lightly at her as I continued playing with her hair. I hoped she wouldn't wake up with a nightmare but I wasn't sure.

Another half hour or so passed with me getting no sleep so I finally got out of bed, making sure the blankets were tucked around Wanda tightly, before heading downstairs. I made sure to be extremely quiet as I got downstairs as I thought that Steve was sleeping on the couch but when I looked in that direction, it was empty.

I turned on the light and was surprised to see Laura sitting at the table, drinking what looked like tea as she read a book.

"What're you doing up?" I asked as I moved around her to get my own drink.

"I knew you wouldn't sleep tonight," she told me simply. I paused, looking at her, before going back to making coffee. I was going to need as much energy tomorrow as possible, especially if I was told I was no longer on the team.

"You didn't have to stay up," I told her, sitting next to her.

"I know, but I also knew that you're stressed hun," she responded and I took a sip of my coffee to hide the blush that spread across my cheeks. I was supposed to be good at hiding my emotions but Laura always saw through me.

"I'm fine," I told her.

"Oh really, so that's why you yelled at both me and Clint earlier?" she asked as she quirked her eyebrow.

"Sorry about that," I told her. I knew I had also overstepped with them too, that never would have flown if I was younger and I was honestly surprised I got away with it earlier.

"Yeah, you're lucky you were in such distress from missing Wanda or I would've put you over my knee," Laura told me and my insides squirmed. Laura was the only one who could make me feel like a child with just a couple of words.

"I know, I'm sorry, but I am older," I defended myself slightly.

"I know, but that's no excuse to yell at us, I can still punish you, you'll never be too old." I decided not to argue with her right now as I knew that there was no one here who would stop her if she decided to punish me right here in the kitchen. 

"I really am sorry Laura," I exclaimed, not wanting her to be mad at me as well. 

"I know, and I'm not mad," she told me, knowing exactly what I needed to hear as she gently squeezed my arm. "Just watch it next time okay?"

I nodded, responding with, "Thank you Laura."

"No problem sweetie." We fell into silence for a few minutes, each of us enjoying our warm, caffeinated drinks.  

"Do you want to talk about what happened?" Laura asked me after a while of silence.

"Not really," I told her. I had told Clint what had happened and knew that he would probably tell her soon if I didn't.

"Will it help though?" she asked and I knew it probably would.

"Probably." She didn't respond after that, waiting for me to decide whether or not to move on. "I failed," I told her softly after almost a minute of silence. I had only failed a couple of times in my life and it hit me just as hard every time.

"What happened?" she asked softly.

"I killed them, all of them," I continued, my voice low. 

"Who?"

"The guards," I told her. Then I realized she didn't really know what had happened so I launched into an explanation about what our mission was about and why we were there. She knew the majority but she didn't know everything. I told her everything up until my meltdown, pausing to take a breath. She hadn't said anything during my entire explanation, letting me talk.

"What happened next Tasha?" she asked softly. I had avoided her eyes the entire time but I turned to look at her now, noticing her gentle gaze. I knew that that may change once I told her what I did.

"There were a few guards with the hostages but one was leading the entire thing, he must've been in charge," I said, talking slowly as if each word was painful. "He stepped up and mentioned Wanda. At first, I managed to keep my emotions at bay but then he said that he would remember how amazing Wanda was in bed and he wouldn't mind any suffering he may endure." I heard Laura gasp slightly and I felt tears prick my eyes at the memory.

"I shot him Laura, no hesitation," I told her, getting choked up. As horrible as it was, it wasn't so much the killing that hurt me. I had killed a lot, not just with the KGB but with SHIELD, it wasn't new. What hurt me was what he said to Wanda and the fact that I failed. Normally, if I killed someone, it was my job to do it, I had to do it, I had killed him with strict instruction not to. I not only failed but killed someone who was supposed to be alive. That happened a lot in my early childhood and I had reverted back, letting my anger get the best of me.

"Oh honey," Laura told me, pulling me out of my thoughts as she put a hand on my arm, rubbing it up and down to offer me comfort.

"That's not it," I told her, trying to keep my tears at bay. I took some deep breaths, chewing on my cheek, before saying, "I then went through the base and killed anyone I saw. Steve stopped me otherwise I would have kept going." A tear dripped down my face but I let it fall, feeling miserable.

"I failed," I told her again, my voice a whisper at this point. "Fury is mad, he may kick me off the team, I may be done," I told her, trying to smile to show her it didn't bother me but it really did and the tears swimming in my eyes could attest to that. I was really upset at the prospect of losing my family.

"C'mere," she said, taking the coffee mug out of my hands and pulling me into a hug. I felt her hand rubbing circles on my back. "Fury won't kick you off the team," she told me. "No one will let him," she continued. 

"If he wants me gone, I'll be gone," I told her, sniffing to try to keep from sobbing. "No one will be able to do anything about it. He might even kill me," I told her quietly, still wrapped tightly in her embrace.

Laura gently but quickly pulled me away from her, making me look at her before saying, "No Nat, he won't kill you. I promise you sweetie." She was still holding me away from her so that I had to look at her face.

"If anything happens, take care of Wanda for me," I told her. I liked Nick, he never did anything to wrong me and I usually felt safe but I've had a crazy couple of days, I wasn't exactly thinking straight.

"You'll take care of her yourself, you're going to be fine Nat," she told me in a stern voice but I could hear the slight shake in her voice as her eyes glazed over slightly, meaning she was holding back tears.

"Okay," I relented, pulling her back into a hug. "You're right, I'm being stupid, I'll be fine," I told her, not fully believing it but not wanting to make her cry. 

Our hug got cut short when a scream tore through the house. 

"Wanda," I mumbled before sprinting back up the stairs. Laura followed me in case I needed any help.

I pushed the door open to my room and saw Wanda struggling in the bed, red mist surrounding different objects in the room. I quickly moved to the bed, sitting on the edge as I tried to wake Wanda up.

"Baby, wake up," I told her gently, shaking her shoulder. More screams tore through her and I felt my heart clench. Nate started crying in his room down the hall so Laura quickly rushed to him. I heard more footsteps in the hallway and knew that she was waking people up. I really didn't care and I knew that no one who woke up cared but I also knew that Wanda would feel horrible if she saw them.

Steve appeared in the doorway first as I continued trying to wake up Wanda. "Do you need any help?" he asked me.

"No, but can you keep everyone out of the room, especially when she wakes up? I don't want her to know she woke everyone up."

"Of course," he replied, disappearing back into the hallway. I could hear Lila and Cooper's voices in the hallway and I shook Wanda a little harder. There were tears streaming down her face despite the fact that she was still asleep. More screams escaped her lips as well as whimpers as she struggled with whatever was in her dream.

"Mama!" she cried in her dream and I felt my heart clench. 

"Baby, wake up, I'm right here, mama's here," I tried, brushing her hair out of her face. This was the worst nightmare in a while and I knew it was my fault.

Finally, after what felt like forever, she shot up, a red blast shooting out of her and hitting the lamp in the corner of the room. The lightbulb shattered but it wasn't turned on so everything was fine. She looked horrified at what she did so I quickly intervened.

"It's okay baby," I told her, moving in front of her so that she saw me.

"Mama," she cried before launching herself into my arms. I grunted slightly with the impact as it sent pain through the wound in my abdomen but I was quick to wrap my arms around her, rocking her slightly as I held her.

She didn't say anything at first, keeping her face firmly planted into my shoulder as she sobbed. 

"I've got you," I told her, rubbing her back while she cried.

"Mama," she finally sobbed, still holding onto me.

"I know, I'm here, shh," I comforted her, making sure she knew that I was here, I was alive, and I wasn't going anywhere.

I was facing the door while Wanda attached herself to the front of me so I saw when Laura peeked her head in. "Need any help in here?" she mouthed to me. I shook my head and she nodded, closing the door gently to leave me to deal with my girl.

"It's okay baby, I've got you, I love you," I mumbled in her ear, trying anything to console her.

Nothing was working so I moved us to the edge of the bed so that I could stand up, bringing her with me. Her legs instinctively wrapped themselves around my waist as her arms wrapped around my shoulders. Her cast made it slightly difficult but she managed to do it.

I rocked back and forth, bouncing slightly, while I held Wanda. This seemed to work and soon, she was calming down, her sobs dying down to light sniffles.

"You okay honey?" I asked after several minutes of quiet. 

She nodded slightly against my shoulder and I sat back down on the bed, moving Wanda so that she was sitting on my lap. She still hadn't moved from my shoulder, only now, she had her cheek pressed against it while she faced over my shoulder. 

I kissed her temple lightly, brushing some of her hair away from her face. She turned to face me, keeping her head on my shoulder.

"Hi baby," I said lightly, tucking the hair I had just pushed away behind her ear. "You okay?" I asked again now that I could see her.

She nodded, not saying anything.

"You wanna talk about it?"

"You were dead," she told me softly and I pulled her closer, kissing her forehead. I hated that I had put her through this much pain and suffering. "And they sent me back to HYDRA," she continued, her voice barely above a whisper.

"Oh honey," I said, pressing a hand to the back of her head to pull it closer while I rested my head on hers. "I'm so sorry I left you. And even if something did happen to me, you would be taken care of okay? No one would send you back to HYDRA. You would have Clint, Laura, Tony, Pepper, Steve, the whole team would be here for you." I didn't want to talk about what would happen if I died but I needed to assure her that nothing would happen to her.

"But you would be gone," she whimpered, bringing a hand up to wipe away the tear that fell at that statement.

"I know, but let's not talk about that right now because I'm right here and I'm not going anywhere, I promise Wanda."

She nodded, seeming satisfied for the moment. 

"I'm sorry about the lamp," she said.

"Don't worry about that, it wasn't your fault, and it's just a lamp," I told her, laughing lightly. Wanda laughed in response and I felt my heart swell, glad that I had been able to make her laugh.

"You ready to get some more sleep?" I asked, already knowing the answer but wanting to try anyway.

"No," she mumbled. "I got sleep when you were gone though, can't I just stay awake tonight?" she asked and I sighed.

I was still exhausted and although I really didn't think that I was going to get much sleep, I did plan on trying to get energy before dealing with Fury right now but looking at my sweet girl still laying across my chest was enough for me to give in. "Okay, do you want to watch a movie?" I asked her and she sat up, nodding. "Okay, let's pack our stuff first and then we'll go."

We both got out of bed, grabbing our clothes and other items that we had brought before putting them in our bags. It didn't take us long and soon, we had all of our stuff packed and ready to go. I grabbed our bags to bring downstairs, Wanda following behind. When we opened the door, I was relieved to see that no one was wondering about the halls. If Wanda had seen anyone, she would have known that she woke them up.

Once we got downstairs, I sat our bags by the door before sitting on the couch, Wanda grabbing the remote to find a movie. I hadn't gotten sleep in a few days but I blinked past the exhaustion as I wrapped an arm around Wanda, pulling her to rest in my side while we watched the movie. If I was lucky, Wanda would fall asleep and then I could get some sleep but I didn't have high hopes. 

Wanda put on a Disney movie while we sat in silence together. It was nice and lighthearted for us, especially given what we've both been through in the last several days.

I expected us to sit in silence for the rest of the night so I was surprised when Wanda asked, "Is Fury mad?"

"What?" I asked, moving to look at her face. "What do you mean?"

"Well," she hesitated. "I thought I heard Steve say that Fury was mad," she mumbled.

"So you were listening in on our conversation?" I asked slightly sternly, quirking my eyebrow at her. She knew better than to eavesdrop. 

"No!" she was quick to say. "I just happened to hear that as I went up the stairs."

"What else did you hear?" I asked, immediately thinking back to the conversation Steve and I had earlier and what Wanda could have taken out of context.

"Nothing, I left before I heard anything else. I didn't mean to eavesdrop Nat, promise," she was adamant so I nodded to show her I understood.

"Okay, good, I don't want you to ever eavesdrop on our conversations okay?"

"Okay," she nodded. "But is Fury mad?" she asked and I sighed, deciding to be honest with her. This would affect her life too if anything happened.

"Yes, he is," I said, ripping the band-aid off.

"Is he going to lock me up?" she asked.

"What? No!" I said, confused at first but then realizing that Wanda probably thought he was mad at her for releasing her powers on the team. "Wanda, he's not mad at you, he's mad at me," I explained gently. 

"Why?" she asked innocently. Sometimes it was hard to remember that she was still just a kid unlike the rest of us.

I didn't really want to tell her the full story of why but I knew I had to be at least a little honest. "I messed up a bit on the mission but it'll be okay," I told her. "We're going back in the morning and then I'll talk with him and we'll be good to go. You don't have to worry about it, okay?" She nodded, snuggling closer to me and I took a deep breath, glad she didn't argue more with me on it.

The rest of the night went smoothly, both of us watching different Disney movies while we stayed close together, Wanda pressed into my side. 

I was still dreading going back but knew that I needed to get this over with.

5 am came and Steve came downstairs, stopping when he saw both of us sitting there. "Good morning," he said, moving to the kitchen to get coffee before we left. 

"Good morning," I said from my spot, not moving. "When are we leaving?"

"I'm aiming for 6, Tony and Pepper should be down soon and then we're good to go," he replied. I had to say goodbye to Laura, Clint, and the kids before we left because I hadn't had a chance to do that last night. Wanda would want to say bye too.

"Where did you guys stay last night?" I asked, confused as to how they all fit upstairs.

"Lila and Cooper spent the night in Clint and Laura's room," Steve explained. "I stayed in Lila's room and Tony and Pepper took Cooper's." It was so weird hearing him talk about the family as he had only recently met them. No one on the team except for me had known about the family up until a couple of months ago when we used it as a safe house.

"Why didn't you take the couch?" I asked and he looked at me.

"Laura told me she needed the downstairs area so she told me to take Lila's room." I nodded, knowing that Laura had probably wanted privacy for our earlier conversation. She knew me too well. 

"Oh," I said, nodding before turning back to Wanda who hadn't moved our entire conversation. She was still putting her full attention on the movie while she laid on me. 

As Steve said, about 10 minutes later, Tony and Pepper came down the stairs, fully dressed and ready to go. Tony ignored me as he walked down but Pepper said good morning. I knew that I would have to patch things up with Tony later but that could wait until after we got home. I didn't need to have a fight break out while we were in the air once in the jet.

Tony moved to the kitchen to get a cup of coffee while Pepper came to sit next to me. "How'd you sleep?" she asked me, looking at an exhausted Wanda.

"I didn't," I told her. "But she got a few good hours before waking up," I continued, brushing some hair out of Wanda's face. She looked at me briefly before turning her attention back to the movie, letting me run my fingers through her hair.

Pepper and I continued our small talk until both guys had finished their coffee. "I just have to go brush my teeth and then we're good to go," Steve said.

"Alright, that means we have to go say our goodbyes," I said, sitting up slowly to give Wanda time to sit up as well. She looked up at me as I sat up. "We have to go say goodbye to Clint, Laura, and the kids," I told her and I saw her face fall slightly. It always sucked saying goodbye to them.

We followed Steve up the stairs, turning to go to Clint's bedroom while Steve went to go brush his teeth. I noticed as we walked up the stairs that Wanda held onto my shirt the entire time. I hoped she wasn't reforming her separation anxiety but I also wouldn't be surprised if she did. Hopefully it would be easier to get her off of it though if it did happen.

Laura opened the door right as we were about to knock. "Hey, you okay?" she asked as she saw us both standing at the door.

"Yeah, we just came to say goodbye to everyone, we're heading out," I told her, also feeling sadness creeping in. I was going to miss them. I didn't get to spend nearly as much time with them as I had originally wanted because of the mission.

"Oh," she replied. "I'll get the kids up but I can't promise they won't be cranky," she smiled and we laughed.

"We'll make it quick," I told her.

She opened the door a little wider before walking back into the bedroom and I watched as she gently woke up Lila and Cooper who were sleeping in the bed. "Hey guys, Auntie Nat and Wanda are leaving. Say goodbye and then you can go back to sleep." They both sat up, yawning and rubbing their eyes as they got out of bed and walked over to the door.

Clint was also woken up to come say goodbye and he got up, following Laura to the door.

I looked over at Wanda and saw her trying to hold back tears as she started saying her goodbyes.

"I have to go get Nate, I'll be right back," Laura said and I realized that that was why she had been up before us. Little Nate tended to wake up relatively early.

"Let's go downstairs where we have more room," Clint said, placing a hand on Cooper's shoulder to guide him towards the stairs. Lila grabbed my hand and we all moved downstairs, gathering Laura and Nate as we went.

Wanda picked up Lila and pulled her into a hug while Lila gripped onto her. "I don't want you to leave!" Lila said, tears falling down her face.

"I don't want to leave either," Wanda told her, still managing to hold back her tears. 

"Then stay!" Lila said as if she had just come up with a wonderful idea. She leaned back in Wanda's arms so that she could look at her.

"I wish I could Lila but I have to go back to my home. I'll come back to visit though," she told her and I watched as Lila attached herself to Wanda again.

Meanwhile, I said goodbye to Cooper. 

"Bye bud," I told him as he hugged me. "I'll see you soon okay, promise."

"Okay," he said. His eyes were misty but he hadn't started crying yet. "Take care of Wanda okay?" he whispered to me and I felt my eyes get wet at that.

"I will," I said, squeezing him a little tighter.

At this point, Wanda passed Lila over to me and I set her on my hip, letting her grab around my shoulders, holding onto me as she cried.

"Aww, Lila, we'll be back soon honey, I promise," I told her, rubbing her back. "I think you're overtired," I laughed lightly, tickling her sides.

"Am not Auntie Nat," she said with sass and I laughed again as I pulled her closer.

"Okay, okay," I told her, relenting in my teasing. "We will see you soon though hun, I love you."

"I love you too Auntie Nat, come back sooner this time," she told me and I nodded.

"Will do."

Clint took her from me gently and set her on the ground so that I could take Nate. 

Wanda opted to let me hold Nate while she leaned over my shoulder, saying goodbye to him as well. He was too young to really understand what was going on so he didn't cry, instead relaxing in my arms while Wanda and I both cooed over him. 

I handed Nate to Wanda to let her give him her final goodbyes before turning to Clint.

"I'll let you know how everything goes," I told him, referring to Fury.

"You're going to be fine, text me if you need anything okay," he said.

"I will," I told him before pulling him into a hug. "Thank you Clint," I whispered in his ear. "For everything."

"Anytime," he said before pulling away. Then I turned to Laura. Somehow, this was always the hardest goodbye. Sometimes I would see Clint at the compound as he was still an Avenger but Laura tended not to venture too far from the farm, meaning that I only saw her when we visited the farm. 

I felt tears fill my eyes as I realized that this would be the last time I saw Laura for a while. Sure we would take another trip here soon but not soon enough to keep me from feeling emotions. 

She didn't say anything, pulling me into a hug instead.

"You're going to be okay, I promise. Just as Clint said, call me if you need anything honey," she told me and I felt one tear fall but luckily she was hugging me so no one saw. I brought my hand up behind her though to wipe it away. I felt the nerves building as we were about to leave to go see Fury but I tried to keep them in check, especially for Wanda, but while I was in Laura's arms, I could feel them coming to the surface and I desperately wanted to stay. 

"I will, thank you Laura," I told her, still being held tightly in her embrace.

"Absolutely no problem sweetie. I love you so much," she exclaimed, squeezing me tighter.

"I love you too," I breathed out, letting my head rest on her shoulder for a second before pulling away.

Now it was Wanda's turn and I could see the tears building.

Laura had Nate now so she said goodbye to Clint first. "Can't you just come with us?" she asked. "Just take the family." I noticed that she was keeping her voice low and I knew it was so that she didn't get up the hopes of the two older kiddos because if they heard her idea, they would pester Clint and Laura until they gave in.

"I wish I could kiddo," he said, smiling at her. "You'll be back soon though. Go get that cast off and go back to kicking butt." Wanda smiled at that. "We'll call and I won't let Nat keep you guys away for as long this time." He winked at me and I smiled. He was so good with Wanda, I was so happy that he wasn't acting awkward after the recent events.

Wanda hugged Clint and he held her close for a few moments before letting her go to say goodbye to Laura. Laura passed Nate over to Clint so that her full attention was on Wanda. Tony and Pepper had moved past us, heading outside to get on the jet and Steve was already out there so it was just us now.

I was beginning to think that Wanda would make it through without tears but the second she looked at Laura, she lost the battle with her tears and she burst into sobs. Laura quickly pulled her into a hug, murmuring into her ear.

"I'm gonna miss you sweetie," Laura told her, rubbing her back. 

"I'm gonna miss you too Laura," she said, holding onto her as if her life depended on it. I was slightly worried I would have to drag her away but I gave them a few more minutes.

"Thank you for helping me out with the kids while you were here," Laura told Wanda and I smiled. I had yet to see the pictures that Clint promised me but I knew that they would send them to me. "I'm gonna miss your help," she laughed lightly. "I'll see you soon though, you are always welcome here okay?" Laura told her.

"Okay," Wanda said, still crying but not as heavily. "I love you Laura," I heard her say.

"I love you too baby." Laura hugged her for a few more seconds before Wanda pulled away, trying to pull herself together but failing miserably. I pulled Wanda into a side hug.

"Bye guys," I said, gently guiding Wanda out of the house. Steve had taken our bags for us so we were good to go. 

"See you soon!" Lila called out, waving at us from the doorway. 

We got onto the jet and waved at them out of the window. I was slightly surprised to see that Tony was riding with us instead of using his suit but my guess was Pepper convinced him to use the more traditional form of transportation as his empty suit was in the corner of the jet. 

Steve took off and as soon as we got into the air, Wanda lost it, collapsing to the floor as she cried. I saw Tony and Pepper both stand up out of the corner of my eye but I put a hand out to show them that I got it.

I knelt down next to her and pulled her into my arms, rubbing her back firmly to try to calm her down. I saw Steve look back at us worriedly but I mouthed that everything was okay as I went back to comforting her. 

"I know baby, it's okay, we'll see them soon," I told her, picking her up for a second to move to a seat. I sat near Tony and Pepper as I pulled her to sit on my lap, her upper body twisted into me.

"I don't want to leave," she cried and I rocked her, wrapping my arms lightly around her waist.

"I know, I don't want to either but it's okay, we'll see them soon," I told her in an attempt to calm her down.

Everyone sat in relative silence, the only sound being Wanda's sobbing which eventually turned into light sniffling. Even after she had completely calmed down, she didn't get off of me, staying planted in my lap. I didn't mind though as I moved us slightly to a more comfortable position, patting her butt gently while my other hand rubbed her back. It worked to keep her calm so I didn't mind.

It didn't take long before we were landing. My stomach was full of butterflies and I cursed myself. It wasn't like me to be nervous. I didn't have as much experience with dealing with a failed mission though so it was only natural for me to be nervous.

My original plan was to get Wanda off the jet and possibly get her to get some sleep before heading to go see Fury. Unfortunately, Fury had other plans.

As soon as we stepped off the jet, Fury was waiting. I had my arm wrapped around Wanda whose face was red and splotchy. She was holding onto my shirt and I realized that we were about to find out whether or not Wanda had reformed her separation anxiety when I had her go inside without me.

We all paused as we saw Fury standing there, it wasn't normal for him to greet us. I also saw the dark look on his face and felt my heart jump to my throat. 

He knew better than to cause a scene in front of Wanda though but it was very clear that he expected me to go with him right now, not when it suited me. I knew he was pissed with us making the detour to the farm too and had no doubt that I would be hearing about that in a few minutes.

I turned to Wanda, knowing that she couldn't come with me.

"Hey honey," I started, knowing that even if she didn't have separation anxiety, leaving me right now wasn't super appealing to her. "I need you to go with Tony and Pepper. I'll be there soon."

"But I want to go with you mama," she mumbled, blush spreading over her cheeks. I knew she was probably embarrassed about having a meltdown in the jet in front of everyone.

"I know and I'll be back soon but I have to go talk with Fury. I promise I'll be back," I told her, although there was a horrible feeling in my stomach that I might not return from this conversation. 

"Please mama," she whined, gripping onto me. Tony and Pepper were both standing there, waiting to intervene, while Steve stood near Fury. He also had to go see him to debrief the mission. 

"I know, I love you baby, I promise I'll be back before you know it," I told her, kissing her head before nodding to Tony and Pepper to have them intervene.

"C'mon Wanda," Tony said gently. "Natasha will be back soon, you'll be okay," he said, gently placing a hand on her shoulder. She jerked away before wrapping her arms around me, turning into me.

I wrapped my arms around her, shooting a glance over to Fury to see that he was still standing there, his expression unchanging. I felt anger bubbling up at him. He couldn't have waited 10 more minutes for me to get my daughter settled?

"I love you," I said again, bringing my arms behind me to peel her off of me. 

"No!" she cried but Tony grabbed her before she could attach herself to me again. He picked her up, pulling her into his chest, before carrying her struggling form into the compound, Pepper following after shooting me a supportive glance.

Now it was time for me to face the music. "This better be quick," I muttered as I came up to Fury and I saw him raise his eyebrow at me, his glare deadly. Steve put a hand on my arm, giving me a look that told me I needed to calm down. I took a deep breath before we walked into the building, trailing behind Fury. 

His main office wasn't in the compound but since that was where the majority of the Avengers lived, he had an office made for him so that he could work out here if needed. 

He led us both to his office, closing the door behind us before going to stand behind his large desk. He faced outwards, choosing not to look at either of us.

"Walk me through the mission," he growled. I glared at his form but it was a good thing he couldn't see me because I was the one who had messed up.

Steve started walking him through the mission, talking about how we were taken by surprise in the beginning. Fury stopped him before he went any further.

"Where did Agent Romanoff go? Why were you by yourself?" he questioned and I felt my heart skip a beat. I had been on the phone with Laura regarding Wanda's disappearance.

I sighed but decided to be honest. "I was on the phone with Laura Barton." I knew that he was aware of Laura, he was the one who had set everything up, so I didn't feel bad mentioning her.

"And why would you be on the phone in the middle of a mission?" he questioned, still facing away from us.

"Because my daughter was missing. Luckily they found her but they needed to know if I knew where she was," I explained.

"Okay, Rogers, continue," he said and I kept my mouth shut, letting Steve continue telling him about our mission. Steve looked at me as he left out the part about us getting shot, making up a story about how we both left, knowing that we weren't prepared and that there were way more men than before. 

Fury stopped him again. "I know that you are both more than capable of taking out men if necessary. Why did you feel that you needed to leave before trying again at a later time?"

"Well Sir, I felt as if we were capable of making our own decisions in that moment and since you weren't there, we made the best call that we could given the information," Steve told him using his Captain voice. 

"Why didn't you contact us once you were out of the building?" It was pissing me off how Fury stood facing the exact opposite direction of us the entire time but still felt as if he was above us. I knew that this was most likely so he didn't lose it early on me though.

"Our phones were broken Sir," Steve continued to explain.

"And how did they manage to get broken?" I briefly wondered if he knew more than he was letting on. 

"I'm not quite sure Sir. When we got back to the jet, both of them were shattered. They probably broke during the hand-to-hand combat," Steve told him and he nodded, signaling for Steve to go on.

He continued explaining the mission, how we decided to gather information before going back in. Then how we made it relatively unnoticed until we got to where the hostages were being held. Now came the time that Steve explained how I lost my cool. He started by saying that everything was going fine until the one guard mentioned Wanda. He recounted the conversation that the guard and I had and then how I shot him, leaving to go kill everyone else. Steve said it slowly but confidently, knowing that he really couldn't protect me anymore.

Fury interrupted him before he moved on, "Did you attempt to try to stop Agent Romanoff from proceeding with her killing spree?" Fury asked and I felt my stomach twist painfully at the term 'killing spree.'

Steve looked at me before saying, "Yes Sir, I did."

"And what did she do?"

He looked at me again and I nodded, letting him know that it was okay. "She ignored me."

Fury nodded, allowing Steve to continue. Steve told him how he made the decision to go back to the hostages, fighting off the guards that entered the room before getting the hostages out, only then going to find me. 

"Were there any hostage casualties?" Fury asked once Steve had finished.

"No Sir, all 18 hostages were recovered and brought to a nearby hospital by SHIELD."

"When you finished the mission, whose idea was it to ignore my direct order to come back to speak with me?" Fury asked and I felt my heart skip another beat. I had told Steve that I would talk to Fury later.

"Mine Sir," Steve said and I looked over at him.

"Agent Romanoff had no part in that decision?" Fury growled.

"I did," I spoke up and I watched as Fury tensed. Steve shot a glare in my direction. 

"It was ultimately my decision," Steve said. "I was the one flying the jet. Natasha needed to get back to her daughter as soon as possible so I brought her back to the farm." That wasn't exactly how it happened and I wanted to say something but Steve's look made me stop, turning back to face Fury.

"Anything else I need to know about?" he asked and for a split second, I thought we were done.

"No Sir," Steve said.

"Good, Rogers, you are free to go." The nerves were back, more than before. Steve had been one of the only reasons I was controlling my emotions and now he was leaving. At least he had made things sound a little bit better for me so hopefully I wouldn't be killed on the spot.

Steve mimed taking a deep breath to me before leaving the room, closing the door softly behind him.

I stood in silence, not knowing what to expect next. Was this where he kicked me off the team? Would he kill me? I had absolutely no idea what to expect and it was killing me.

"I put you on that mission for a reason," he started sternly after a few minutes of silence. I honestly think he stayed silent on purpose to work me up. "I thought you could handle it, clearly I was wrong."

"Sir," I started but he put a hand up to stop me.

"When I got word of the HYDRA base, I knew your history with it, I knew what they did to Maximoff, and I immediately wanted to keep you in the dark about it but I knew that you would want to go on the mission. You would want to go for Maximoff. I should have kept you in the dark." His voice was loud but he also wasn't necessarily yelling.

"Fury," I tried again. This time, he turned to face me and I could see the anger on his face so I quickly shut my mouth, knowing better.

"When I told Rogers who to bring on this mission, I asked him if he thought that you would be able to handle it. I have never questioned that before but now you have the Maximoff girl and-"

"Her name is Wanda," I cut in, my anger flaring slightly. I had to yell to be heard over his anger but I didn't care. Her name was Wanda, not Maximoff, and he could call her that. His eyes flared with anger and I thought that was it, I ruined it, if I wasn't getting kicked off before I certainly was now, but he managed to stay calm as he continued. 

"As I was saying, now you have Wanda and you would do anything for her." He wasn't wrong but I wasn't 100% sure what he was trying to get at. "Before, I would have never doubted that you would do whatever you could to complete a mission but now, you have Wanda and so far, she comes above them. You will do anything to complete a mission as long as it doesn't interfere or have anything to do with your daughter. I'm not saying that's a bad thing Romanoff but you need to learn when and where you can disobey orders and that situation was not one."

I stayed silent, running over his words in my mind. I wouldn't change anything that he just said. Wanda definitely came above any mission, regardless of what it was.

"How long were you planning to go against direct orders?" he asked me and I was taken aback. I had been planning to kill them since the very beginning but I thought that I had hidden that very well.

"What?" I asked.

"How long had you been planning to kill them?" he asked again in a yell. "I know Rogers drilled into you from the very beginning that you were not in any way shape or form supposed to kill anybody during that mission but you went against that. I'm asking, Ms. Romanoff, how long had you been planning to go against that order?" I swallowed, quickly debating whether or not to lie to him. 

I took a second too long to answer and as I opened my mouth to tell him that I had never planned to go against orders, he said, "That's what I thought," and I immediately knew that he was aware that my plan was to kill them from the very beginning. He continued, "I knew that I was risking that once I sent you on that mission but I had hope that you wouldn't go against us. Again, I was wrong, something that doesn't happen very often. So, why did you wait so long to put your plan into action? Why didn't you start with killing them?"

"As you said, I will do anything for Wanda, even going against a mission. I will not apologize for that, nor will I change that. Wanda is my number 1, she comes above any mission. I fought against my desire to kill them the entire time but the second he mentioned raping Wanda, I lost it, reverted back to my original training. I know SHIELD tried everything they could to rid me of my pre-programming but in that moment, I was nothing more than an assassin. You can kick me off the team, you can force me to leave my family, but I will not change that. Wanda is my daughter and she comes above everything," I told him, my voice firm.

"That was not your original training Natasha," he told me and I noticed the change in names. He would only call me Romanoff for business, never Natasha, so he must be feeling some form of emotion to call me that. "Your original training taught you to kill for no reason, you killed for a reason here, you killed for your daughter." He was right and I felt tears fill my eyes. I blinked them away, crying in front of Fury would only make things worse.

"Regardless, that doesn't change your insubordination. You ignored Rogers when he attempted to stop you, putting all of the hostages' lives at risk. If one of them had died, that would have been your fault. That would have been a failed mission."

"It already was a failed mission," I responded.

"The hostages were recovered alive, that's what was important."

"What about the HYDRA agents?" I asked.

"You left a few alive," he said sternly and I knew it was because I was supposed to leave a lot more than a few alive. I looked away for a second before returning my gaze to his eye. "We recovered them and got information from them. I'm telling you right now though Romanoff, if that ever happens again, you are on probation."

I nodded, knowing that I was getting off easy for what I had done. 

"Go find your daughter," he told me, finally sitting down at his desk, and I was absolutely shocked that I had gotten away that easy. Fury had had a soft spot for me for a while, I knew that, but I never expected to get away without any punishment, no probation, nothing. I had been punishing myself enough over the last several days though with my thoughts and I think he knew that by my nervous manner which most definitely contributed to the easy conversation.

I went to leave but before I closed the door, I leaned in and said, "Thank you Nick." He nodded at me and I left, heading to go find Wanda.