Better Days

WANDA POV:

I was currently struggling against Tony as I cried. My entire body was filled with panic. Tasha wasn't here and I wanted her, I needed her. I hadn't felt this level of panic for months. The last time I panicked this much when leaving Nat was when I had my separation anxiety months ago. I didn't want to do it again but here we were.

"Shh Wanda," Tony hushed as he held me. He had carried me all the way into the living room on our floor from the jet but he set me down once we got there. I was struggling too much for him to keep hold of me so he set me down for both of our safeties. He still held onto me though, holding me against his chest while I cried. 

If he wasn't holding onto me, I would have sprinted to go find Nat but unfortunately, he was still holding me.

"I want mama!" I cried, trying to breathe past the panic pressing on my lungs. 

"I know, she'll be back, I promise," Tony told me, still holding me against his chest. It got to be too much and I quickly pushed away, backing against the wall, sliding down until I was on the floor. 

Both Tony and Pepper moved to be closer to me but I couldn't breathe. I clawed at my chest with one hand while my other hand gripped onto Pepper's hand, my eyes looking into hers, begging her to get Nat. 

"Deep breaths baby," Pepper coaxed as she tried to pull my hand away from my neck and chest. She exaggerated her breaths but I couldn't follow them as I let out choked sobs. 

"Mama," I breathed out between sobs, trying to calm down but finding it difficult. 

Pepper scooted behind me so that my back was against her chest. She wrapped her arms around me lightly as she rocked me back and forth. I leaned my head back against her shoulder as I tried to breathe. 

She pressed her cheek against the top of my head as she kept mumbling to me to calm down. Tony sat in front of me, gently rubbing my leg as I tried to calm down.

My heart felt like it would burst out of my chest at any moment. I was managing to calm down slightly though, now able to breathe better. The tears continued to stream down my face though as my entire body yearned for Nat.  

Somehow, I had managed to calm my crying down over the next several minutes as Pepper held me. Everything was fine until I saw Steve walk through the entryway, worry coating his face. Why wasn't Nat with him? I knew that Fury was mad at her, what if he did something to her? Was he coming to tell me that something happened to her? What was going on?

I couldn't even ask Steve anything before I burst into a fresh wave of sobs. I briefly saw confusion and panic flash over Tony's face but my vision quickly became blurry with tears as I struggled to get up past Pepper's grasp.

She let me stand up and Tony let me walk past him, most likely assuming that I was moving to Steve. I got to Steve and then went to run past him but he grabbed my wrist before I got more than a few steps, effectively stopping me, pulling me into him instead.

"No!" I shouted, trying to get out of his grasp. "Let me go! Where's mama?"

"Nat's still talking with Fury, she'll be down here soon," he told me but I didn't believe him. Why was she by herself with Fury? He couldn't hurt her!

"Steve, let me go!" I tried again, still struggling. He lifted me slightly, moving me back over to where Tony and Pepper were. They were both standing now but they hadn't moved from over near the wall.

"Calm down Wanda," Steve told me quietly as he sat down, pulling me with him. Tony and Pepper both sat down as well, following Steve's actions. 

"I don't want to be here, I want mama," I cried, giving up on struggling, knowing that I wouldn't be able to overpower Steve unless I used my powers and I definitely wasn't going to do that.

"I know, I know, shh," Steve repeated, moving so that his back was against the wall. He then pulled me so that my back was against his chest while he rocked me slowly, exactly as Pepper had just minutes before.

Pepper was lightly gripping my hand, rubbing her thumb over the back of my hand while Tony sat nearby, waiting to step in if needed. 

The panic was returning and I closed my eyes as I pushed the back of my head against Steve's shoulder, trying to focus on breathing. 

"Shh, deep breaths in and out," I heard Pepper tell me as she brought my hand to her chest. It was difficult to focus on her breathing as my body was still against Steve's so I could feel him breathing under me but I did my best, trying to focus on both of them to calm my breathing down.

I hated this feeling. I had forgotten it and was ready to have never felt it again but now it was back and I didn't think I could handle it. I could feel the terror creeping in. The worries about Nat. About where she was, if something happened to her, if she loved me, if she hated me, if she was going to be okay, when she would be back, and more. The thoughts ripped through my head at top speeds while I tried to push down my emotions.

Another panic attack was coming on, I could feel it. Tony moved closer, setting one hand on my knee, rubbing it in small circles to offer me some comfort. Pepper was pushing hair out of my face with one hand while her other gripped my good hand. And Steve still had his arms wrapped around me lightly while I sat in his lap, my upper body pressed against his chest, his body rocking back and forth to try to keep me calm. They all took their turns offering me comforting words, telling me that Nat was okay and that she would be back soon.

Right as the panic was fully setting in, another figure entered the room. I didn't see her at first but once I did, I let out another sob before climbing off of Steve's lap. He didn't let me go at first but he looked up, seeing Nat, and then released his grasp on me, letting me get up to go to her.

I stumbled the few steps into her arms, quickly wrapping my arms around her neck as I cried into her shoulder. My body was trembling and I felt her wrap her strong arms around me, holding me up so that I didn't collapse.

One of her hands rubbed circles on my back while her other hand was firmly planted on the back of my head. 

"Don't leave me mama," I cried into her, my voice shaking.

"Shh, I'm here, I'm not leaving," she told me. I could hear the worry in her voice but I didn't care as I held onto her. She continued to mumble comforting words in my ear as I continually calmed down.

Eventually, she pulled away. I whined and tried to hold onto her but she was stronger and managed to pull away from me. She kept a hand on my back though.

"Hey, I'm not going anywhere," she told me, gently squeezing my arm but continuing to move me away so that I could look at her face. "I want you to get some food and then get some sleep but first, let's go get your cast off." I nodded, feeling exhausted and just wanting to lay down with Tasha and cuddle for a little bit. I wasn't super happy with the idea of eating and sleeping but if it got me some time with Nat, then I was all for it. I had really missed her and was so glad that she was home.

I turned and noticed that Tony, Pepper, and Steve were all still there. "Sorry," I mumbled. 

"There's nothing to be sorry about sweetie," Pepper said, moving to squeeze my arm gently while giving me a warm smile.

"Exactly, you're all good little Red," Tony agreed, smiling at me.

Steve nodded, shooting me a small smile. I noticed that he was still looking at Nat with a worried expression though. I too was curious as to what happened with Fury but she was alive so I didn't really care right now. 

"I'll talk to you later," Nat told Steve and I watched as he nodded at her. She then gently turned me and we walked out of the living room, heading towards the medbay. 

"What happened with Fury?" I asked, wondering if she would tell me.

"Nothing, we're all good though," she told me. I knew that something had obviously happened but I didn't push as I followed her to the medbay. 

I stayed attached to her side the entire walk to the medbay, not letting her go, even once we got there. 

"I'm staying right here," she told me as she tried to have me sit down on the exam table.

"But I wanna stay with you," I whined, knowing I sounded like a child but not finding it in me to care. I wanted my mama and nothing was going to change that. I had thought she had died, I didn't care if I sounded like a baby, as long as I got to stay with Nat. 

She sighed but sat down, letting me sit next to her. She wrapped one of her arms around me and patted the outside of my thigh gently as she held me against her. 

We only sat in the room for a couple of minutes before a nurse came into the room. "Where's Helen?" I asked, not knowing this nurse.

"She's in Seoul right now but she sent this nurse to take care of you, she trusts her," Nat told me softly, knowing that I was nervous around doctors. 

The nurse smiled at me, introducing herself. "Hi Wanda, my name is Ally and I'm here to take your cast off. It'll be similar to when you got your other cast off. I'll just take this tool," she paused, holding up the vibrating tool, "and I'll gently press it onto the cast. It can't hurt you, it can't even nick you." She proved her point by pressing the tool against her hand. I watched as it vibrated her skin and nodded, letting her continue. "Then it will cut through the cast, we'll clean you off a bit and then you're good to go." 

I held my arm out, watching as she quickly but carefully cut off my cast, removing the cloth that was under it. It felt so weird to have my arm out again. It felt cool and nice but also extremely weak. Similar to when my leg had been taken out of its cast. She wiped off my arm, having me move my fingers and wrist around a bit to make sure I didn't have pain, and then she let us leave.

I gripped onto Nat with my good arm, experimentally moving around my recently healed arm, while we walked back to our floor. 

"How's it feel?" she asked me once we were in the elevator.

"It feels okay, weak," I told her.

"Yeah, it'll get stronger, we just need to work it back up. How's the leg feeling? You haven't been using your crutches," she noted.

"It feels fine, hurts sometimes but it mostly just gets sore and tired if I use it too much. It doesn't hurt too bad right now though," I told her, being honest. 

"Let me know if the pain ever gets to be too bad and we'll get it checked again." I had stopped wearing my braces as well on my legs because they were bulky and annoying and luckily no one had told me to put them back on so I left them off. It made them hurt a little bit more but I'd rather deal with some pain than the huge braces. 

"Okay, it's really okay though," I continued. She smiled, kissing my temple, before we walked into the kitchen.

Nat tried to drop me off at the table so that she could go get me food but I held onto her, not wanting to let go, so, with a sigh, she let me stay next to her as she moved further into the kitchen.

"What do you want to eat baby?" she asked me, brushing some hair out of my face.

I shrugged, leaning my head against her shoulder. I was clingy and really just wanted to lay down with her right now, getting as close as possible. 

She opened the fridge, scanning the contents, before closing it, moving closer to the counter instead. She grabbed a nectarine as well as a knife and a cutting board. 

"You want this hun?" she asked and I nodded against her shoulder, still standing right next to her.

She hummed in contentment at my response, starting to cut up the nectarine, placing the juicy fruit onto a plate for me.

As soon as she finished, we both moved over to the table and she sat down. I sat next to her and kept my arm looped around hers, using my other hand to eat the nectarine. It was a lot easier now that I didn't have a bulky cast surrounding my arm. 

I finished quickly, ready to go lay with Tasha. I had really missed her and I didn't think my brain had fully caught up to the fact that she was back home, safe. 

Nat took my plate to the sink once I had finished but I followed her, not willing to let go yet. She didn't say anything as we headed to our room. 

"Do you want to get dressed into something more comfortable?" she asked me once we got into our room. I shook my head, not wanting to let go of her to change. I was in relatively comfortable clothing, wearing a loose shirt and leggings. It wasn't what I would normally wear for pajamas but it also wasn't time for bed yet. We were just napping.

"Okay," Nat agreed. "I need to get changed super quick though, why don't you get into bed and I'll be right back?" she suggested and I felt my heart jump into my throat. I gripped onto her arm a bit tighter.

"Can't I just go with you?" I asked, a slight whine in my voice. 

"Honey, I'll just be a minute. I just want to change out of my jeans and then I'll come back, I promise," she told me, moving in front of me so that she could look at me. 

"No," I whined, wrapping my arms around her neck as I pulled myself as close to her as possible. 

I felt her sigh but she slowly walked towards the bed, bringing me with her, as she leaned forward, causing me to sit down on the bed. "No mama!" I cried, thinking she was leaving me on the bed.

"Hold on baby, I'm getting in too, I just need to shift you a bit," she told me and I calmed down, blush painting my cheeks at freaking out over her moving away from me slightly. 

I scooted backward slightly, still gripping lightly onto her shirt to ensure she stayed with me. She was still in her jeans but she crawled in next to me, disregarding her comfortability to take care of me. I felt bad but I also really didn't want to let her go.

Nat laid down next to me, allowing me to curl into her chest. She ran her fingers up and down my spine, attempting to get me to fall asleep. I was tired but I didn't want to sleep, I was too afraid that she would leave me the second I fell asleep.

She must have thought that I was sleeping because about half an hour later, I felt her shift, moving her hand from my spine to gently pick me up and move me to lay on the bed instead of lying on her. I whined, immediately gripping onto her again, pulling myself back into her embrace.

"Shh, shh," she whispered, wrapping her arms back around me. "Go to sleep baby, I'm right here, I'm not going anywhere, shh." 

"I'm not tired," I mumbled.

"You barely got any sleep last night," she told me, moving so that she could look at my face. 

"I got plenty last night," I argued, not wanting to be forced to sleep right now.

"Wanda," she warned lowly and I huffed, not wanting to fight with her but also not wanting to sleep. "You need to get more sleep. You only slept for a few hours last night which is not nearly enough."

"But I'm not tired right now, it's the middle of the day," I tried. "Can't we just rest but not sleep?"

"You need sleep, I can tell that you're tired," she told me and I huffed, getting angry. I was stuck though because although I was mad at her, I couldn't exactly leave right now. My anxiety wouldn't let me. It was at times like this though that I hated that she knew me so well. If I were better at hiding things, she wouldn't know that I was tired, and then she wouldn't force me to sleep. 

I didn't want to pretend to sleep either because I knew that if I closed my eyes, I would probably fall asleep and then Nat might leave. This thought brought tears to my eyes and I felt myself sniffling as I hid my face from Nat.

"What's wrong baby?" she asked me, tucking some hair behind my ear as she attempted to look at my face. I had it buried into a pillow though.

"I don't want to sleep," I told her, my voice completely whiny. 

"I know honey but you need to sleep. You're exhausted. You'll be okay," she told me but that wasn't why I didn't want to sleep.

"But I don't want you to go," I told her, a sob escaping me as I pushed my face further into the pillow.

"Baby, I'm not going anywhere," she assured me, rubbing her hand up and down my back again. "I will stay here, even after you fall asleep."

I turned to look at her at that statement and asked, "Are you sure?"

"I'm absolutely sure. I promise I won't leave you. Get some sleep baby, I'll be right here when you wake up." Although I still didn't want to sleep, I trusted Nat, and I was still exhausted, so I moved closer to her, letting her card her fingers through my hair, as I closed my eyes and drifted off to sleep.

o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o

I shot up with a scream. Nat had died in my dream, leaving me alone. The team was sending me back to HYDRA, not wanting to deal with me since Nat was no longer there. My heart was racing as tears streamed down my face. 

Someone was talking to me but my ears felt like they were filled with cotton as I looked around the room. I was in my room at the compound. I turned to look next to me and saw Nat looking at me with a worried expression.

"Mama," I sobbed, leaning into her arms. She pulled me into her chest, shushing me as she held me.

I could finally hear her a bit better, the stuffiness clearing from my ears. 

"It's okay Wanda, I've got you, you're okay, shh, deep breaths babes," she said in an attempt to comfort me. I laid my head in the crook between her shoulder and neck as I tried to calm down. Nat was here with me, she was safe, she was alive. 

It took a while but soon, I calmed down, staying nestled in Nat's arms. I was perfectly content to just stay here, I had no desire to leave anytime soon. Unfortunately, Nat did. 

She gently moved me away from her after I had been calm for a solid 10 minutes. 

"You okay?" she asked, gently tracing her fingers over my cheek. It felt good and I leaned into her touch.

I nodded, not wanting to talk about it. I felt content near Nat though so I wasn't that worried about the after-effects of the nightmare. 

"You slept through lunch so we've got to go get you an actual meal." That definitely soured my mood, I really wasn't hungry and just wanted to stay in bed with Tasha.

I moved away from Nat slightly, my anger superseding any anxiety. 

"Hey, what's wrong?" she asked, obviously picking up on my pissed-off vibes.

"I'm not hungry," I told her.

"Okay, is that it?" she asked and I knew why. Normally I didn't get too mad over food but right now my emotions were everywhere. She probably thought that something else was going on since I didn't get that mad over food anymore. Right now though, it really was just the food, or at least I thought it was.

"Yes, I don't need food right now."

"Wanda, you've barely eaten today, you need food," she told me firmly although not unkindly. 

"Whatever," I mumbled under my breath, knowing I was being unfair but really not wanting food right now. I wasn't sure why I was so against it though, I think I was just cranky after the nightmare.

"Okay, suit yourself but I'm going to go get some food," Nat said, climbing out of the bed. My heart immediately sped up and I quickly clambered out of bed after her, tripping on the sheets that were wrapped up. I almost fell into Natasha but I managed to right myself as she turned around to face me. 

"That's not fair," I told her, crossing my arms as I stood in front of her.

"What's not fair?" she asked, mimicking my position as she raised an eyebrow at me.

"You going to leave and knowing that I'll follow you. You know that I don't want to be without you and you're using that to your advantage," I told her, my voice cracking at the end. I was really upset that she would use my separation anxiety against me. I watched as her expression softened.

She moved closer to me, pulling me into a quick hug before pulling away. "I'm sorry Wanda, you're right, I shouldn't use that to get you out of bed, but you do need to eat, I'm not arguing with you on that."

I sniffed and wiped at my eyes but nodded, leaning into her arms for another quick hug. "I'm sorry, I'll go eat," I told her.

"Good," she replied, placing a gentle hand on my back to give me contact as we headed into the kitchen.

"When can I start training again?" I asked her once we got to the kitchen. Steve and Sam were sitting at the table talking but they both looked up when we walked in.

"Depends on how you're feeling," she told me.

"I feel fine, can we train today?" I asked, itching to get back to training. I was nervous but mostly excited.

"Maybe, let's see how much you eat and then we'll go from there, okay?" I nodded, willing to eat if it got me to train again. I had missed it, I was kind of nervous that I wouldn't be as strong as before though. I obviously knew that I had lost some muscle and strength after being kidnapped but I was mostly worried that my control would be gone and that Nat would deem it too dangerous for me to train.

"There's some leftover lasagne in the fridge," Steve told us from his spot at the table.

"Cool," Nat said, moving over to the fridge to grab the lasagne. I of course followed her and soon, she was dishing out two servings of lasagne, popping them in the microwave before pouring two glasses of water. I tried not to hold onto her too much that I would limit her movement but I did hold onto the back of her shirt as I followed her around.

Soon, our food was done in the microwave and we were both sitting at the table, eating our warm food. It was really good and I actually managed to eat it relatively quickly. Steve, Vision, and Nat talked while we ate but I didn't really pay too much attention, mostly envisioning how training would go.

One conversation did catch my attention though. "Natasha?" Steve asked after a few moments of silence had passed. 

"Yeah?" she replied, looking up from her plate. I also heard the change in Steve's tone and looked over at him as well. I watched as he glanced at me and then as he turned to Tasha.

"Can I talk to you after you’re finished eating?" he asked her and I gripped onto Nat tighter. I didn't want her to leave.

She looked at me as I grabbed onto her tighter and she kissed my head before turning back to Steve.

"Alone?" Nat asked and I watched in horror as Steve nodded. "Could we wait until a little later?" she asked and Steve looked conflicted.

"I'd really like to talk to you as soon as possible."

"Well unless Wanda can be there, it will have to wait," she told him firmly and I felt bad. Steve looked worried, he probably wanted to know about what happened with Fury and I was limiting that.

"Is it about what happened earlier? With Fury?" I asked quietly and Nat set her fork down a little louder than necessary.

"That's none of your business Wanda," she snapped at me before Steve could say anything and I quickly looked down, removing my hand from her grip on her arm, not wanting to get into a fight over this.

Everyone fell silent after that, the only sound being silverware clanking against plates. 

"I'm sorry," Nat said softly into my ear after several minutes passed of complete silence. "I shouldn't have snapped at you."

"It's okay," I told her, my hand coming back to hold onto her shirt, trusting that she wouldn't pull away. She leaned closer to me and wrapped an arm around me, allowing me to fully lean into her while she finished the last few bites of her food.

"I will come find you later," she told Steve shortly before she got up, grabbing both of our plates to bring to the sink. I followed behind her as I had earlier, still gripping onto her shirt. 

Instead of going to the gym, we headed back to our room. I was really hoping to train after eating but I also knew that Nat was in a bad mood right now so I wasn't going to push. As long as she let me stay with her, I really didn't care where we went. 

We got back to our room and she closed the door behind us. Now that I was paying full attention to her, she looked exhausted as well and I doubted she got any sleep while I slept. When I thought about it, she probably hadn't slept in a few days. Even if she had gotten a nap in earlier while I slept, I had only managed to sleep for about an hour and a half and that surely wasn't enough.

"If you get changed, we can go train," she told me softly.

"Are you mad at me?" I asked, still feeling upset about earlier. I shouldn't have questioned her.

"No, I'm not mad at you, I'm really sorry for snapping at you sweetie. I get that you're curious but everything is okay. Fury and I talked about the mission and everything else and we're all good now. I promise, nothing is going to change." I nodded, leaning into her.

"We don't have to train," I told her. I had a few realizations during her most recent statement. One, if we did go train, I would need to separate from her, I wouldn't be able to hold onto her. Two, she was still injured from the mission, I didn't want her to hurt herself worse. And three, if she was exhausted enough that she was snapping at me for small things, then training with her probably wouldn't be much fun. I trusted her not to hurt me but she tended to get tougher as she got more tired and I didn't feel like being on the receiving end of that right now. 

"We can train sweetie, we just have to get dressed super quick."

"No, I don't want to train anymore," I was adamant. I didn't want to let her go but I was also getting worried about her. If I could tell that she was tired from just looking at her, then she had to be absolutely exhausted because she usually didn't display her emotions on the outside. 

She looked at me but didn't seem to object as she asked, "Okay, is there something else you want to do instead?"

"Can I ask you something?" I asked, nervous but really wanting to know.

"Of course baby," she told me and I could tell she was sincere.

"You can't get mad, okay?" I watched as the confusion passed over her face but she nodded. 

"I promise I won't get mad sweetie, what's going on?"

"When did you sleep last?" I asked, ripping off the band-aid. She looked surprised and caught off-guard but she quickly schooled her expression into a neutral one as she considered her response.

"I slept when you were sleeping, why?"

"You just looked tired and I couldn't remember the last time you slept," I replied, hoping she didn't get mad.

"Oh, don't worry about me honey, I've got plenty of sleep, and I'll sleep more tonight, okay?" What I didn't know was that she was lying to me. She hadn't slept for days since she didn't sleep earlier and she didn't sleep when we were at the farm. She was lying to me now but my statement had scared her into sleeping tonight. If I noticed, then she wasn't doing a good job of hiding it so she knew now that she needed to get more sleep. She kept all of that hidden from me though behind her caring expression so I just smiled, nodded, and moved on, trusting her. 

"Is that why you didn't want to train?" she asked me softly.

I shook my head. That was part of the reason but I really didn't want to separate from her. I didn't want her to know that though otherwise she would start forcing me to leave her again, just like she had several months ago. I couldn't do that again so I would lie to push it off as far as possible.

"Could we just hang out together today?" I asked her after I was sure that she wasn't going to initiate the next conversation.

"Of course Wands," she said, "I do want to get changed quickly though. Jeans aren't the most comfortable for relaxing." I nodded but didn't let go of her, letting her make the next move.

She sighed but moved to the dresser with my holding onto her, grabbing a pair of her sweatpants. She must have known that I wouldn't let go of her because she quickly removed her jeans, replacing them with her sweats, letting me hold onto her shirt the entire time.

Soon, she was dressed and we were heading to the living room. Sam and Steve apparently had the same idea because they had moved from the kitchen to the living room and they were watching a movie while they continued whatever conversation they were having earlier.

"Hey," Sam greeted us once we got there. I watched as Steve and Nat both looked at each other, a light glare playing on Nat's face while Steve looked authoritative but also worried. 

"Hi," I replied after it was clear that neither of the other two occupants would be continuing the conversation. 

"How was your trip Wanda?" Sam asked me after both Nat and I sat down on the couch, me being closest to Sam.

"It was good, I got to hang out with the kids which was fun," I told him, a smile coming to my face at the memory. 

Nat was tense next to me and I looked at her. She was watching the TV but her entire body was tense. I thought it was because of what had happened earlier with Steve so I ignored it, relaxing into the couch.

We watched whatever movie was on for about 15 minutes before Nat sat up, turning her body slightly to face me. She placed her leg on my thigh and I sat up as well, noticing that both Sam and Steve were also sitting up. What was going on?

"What's going on?" I asked Nat, looking at her. She looked nervous. Did she have another mission?

"Steve and I have to go talk but we'll be back soon, you'll stay with Sam," she told me and my brief relief from hearing that she didn't have another mission was quickly replaced with anxiety and panic.

"No, I'll go with you," I told her. "I won't listen, I promise! I'll plug my ears," I tried.

"I know sweetie, but we'll be quick, and you can talk to Sam like you agreed to, remember?" 

"But I don't want to talk to him right now, I want you!" I tried again. "Please mama!" I could feel the tears coming and I flung my arms around her, holding onto her, telling myself I wouldn't let her go no matter what happened. 

"Wanda, it's going to be okay, you need to let me go though," she whispered into my ear gently as she rubbed my back. "I promise I'll come back but I need to go talk to Steve."

"Can't you wait? You can go when I'm sleeping, please!" I tried again, coming up with another time she could go see Steve. She didn't listen though and moved her hands to pry my hands away from her.

"I love you baby," she told me as she left the room, my struggling body being held back by Sam. 

"No! I want you, I need you, please mama, please!" I cried, screamed, anything to get her to come back. She didn't listen though and I watched as both she and Steve disappeared around the corner of the wall.

"Let me go!" I turned my attention to Sam who was still holding me back.

"I'll let you go if you promise to calm down," he told me. 

"Let me go!" I repeated, struggling harder, my breathing starting to feel restricted.

"What are five things you can see Wanda?" Sam tried.

"What?" I questioned, wondering how that was helpful.

"Tell me five things that you can see."

"Not until you let me go!" I yelled, my voice cracking due to the sobs forcing their way through my body.

"I will not let you go until you calm down, so, tell me five things that you can see."

"No! Let me go! Please," I tried begging him, wondering if that would work. He shifted me so that I was on the couch and he was blocking my exit with his body. He then slowly let me go, hovering his hands near me so that he could grab me if I tried leaving.

I pushed my back against the couch as I tried to breathe, staring at Sam to make sure that he didn't come closer.

"FRIDAY, get Nat!" I tried.

"FRIDAY, override," Sam said and I tried again.

"FRIDAY, get Agent Romanoff!"

Sam interjected again, "FRIDAY, until Wanda has calmed down, do not listen to her unless it is an emergency." I tried speaking over him but Sam gave me a stern look and my sobs overcame me so I couldn't really talk if I tried. "Do not get Natasha and if you already notified her, let her know that everything is okay."

"I have not already notified Agent Romanoff, Mr. Wilson," FRIDAY told him and I cried harder. I had hoped that that would work.

"You can not abuse the power of FRIDAY Wanda or you will no longer be allowed to ask for things."

"But I want mama," I cried, not feeling angry anymore but feeling desperation and panic.

"I know you do but she is busy right now and you are going to be okay. Now, tell me five things that you can see."

"No," I cried, curling my body into the couch to cry into the cushion. "Leave me alone," I mumbled out between sobs.

"I'm not leaving until Natasha is back." 

"Then get her!" 

Sam didn't say anything to that and instead let me cry into the cushion. I felt absolutely miserable and wanted Nat. I felt the couch indent next to me and knew that Sam was sitting down, no longer blocking my path to leave the room.

I peeked my face out of the cushion to see if my prediction was correct and when I saw him sitting next to me, I slowly and carefully moved my legs slightly so that I could just sit up and run. 

Once my feet were angled towards the ground, I shot up off of the couch and took off running. Unfortunately, Sam was fast and I only got to the other side of the room before he was grabbing my bicep. 

"Wanda, calm down," he told me softly as he dragged me back to the couch. I tried kicking him but he had me locked against his chest so I couldn't go anywhere.

"Let me go!" I tried, pushing against the ground in an attempt to get out of his grasp. That just resulted in him lifting me up slightly so that I couldn't touch the ground anymore.

He sat down on the couch, bringing me to sit on his lap so that he could hold me back from running to get Nat.

"Let me go Sam!" I yelled, still struggling.

"I will let you go if you cooperate with me but you aren't so I'm going to hold you for right now. You need to calm down. It's going to be okay and Natasha will be back soon but you have to get through this first."

"No!" I cried, more sobs racking my body.

"Tell me 5 things you can see." I didn't listen and continued to cry as I struggled against Sam.

I eventually realized that he wasn't letting up and that I would probably be stuck here unless I listened. I had a horrible feeling that he wouldn't let Nat come back until I answered his stupid question, so, through my sobs, I choked out, "The TV, the couch, a cup, the rug, and the remote."

"Good," Sam praised. "Now 4 things you can feel."

He still didn't let me go so after a minute or so of crying and gasping for air, I said, "My shirt, your arms, the couch, and the blanket."

"Good job, now 3 things you can hear." His arms loosened around me but they still didn't let me go so I kept going.

"Your voice, my voice, and the TV." Although the movie had been turned down when Nat left, it was still on lowly in the background so I focused on it. I found breathing a little bit easier now but if I thought about it too much, it got harder again.

"Great, what about 2 things you can smell?"

This one was harder and I had to think about it more. "Um, your cologne, and the lasagne," I told him.

"Good, now 1 thing that you can taste?"

"My tears," I told him, realizing I could taste the salt from my tears.

At this point, he let me go so I moved to sit next to him. I was still crying but I wasn't sobbing anymore and I could breathe a lot better.

"Can you get Nat now?" I asked.

"She'll be back soon but she's still busy with Steve. We can talk until she gets back though."

"But what if something happens?" I asked, feeling my breathing pick up again.

"Nothing is going to happen, everyone is safe. Hey, take some deep breaths with me," he said and I tried to follow along with his breathing.

"What did you do when you were at the farm?" Sam asked me and I knew it was to distract me.

"I played with the kids, it was fun," I told him.

"That sounds fun. What did you do with each of the kids? Like, was there a fun activity that you did with each of them?"

"Well, Lila and I played a lot. She likes to play with me, I think I'm like a giant, life-sized doll to her who will play whatever she wants. We colored, played with her Barbies, played family, and so much more. She's great, she's like my little sister. Cooper and I played some video games but he had a lot of homework so we didn't do too much together. And Nate is still little but I would do tummy time with him. He liked to roll over and grab at my hair. It was cute. They're all like family to me." It took me a while to tell him everything because my breath would still hitch occasionally but I had managed to calm down mostly, only a few tears still falling down my face. If I thought of what was happening to Nat though, my breathing immediately would pick back up so I focused on telling him stories of the kids while we waited for Nat to come back.

NATASHA POV:

It broke my heart to hear Wanda call for me as I left the room with Steve. We had been texting and decided that we needed to not only talk about what happened with Fury but that I also needed to talk to the rest of the team about what happened while we were gone. Especially Tony, we still hadn't made up and that wouldn't be good if I needed to go on another mission with him anytime soon.

Wanda had definitely reformed her separation anxiety and I didn't know how to feel about it. I obviously wasn't happy about it but I 100% understood why it happened. I had left her and then made her think that I was dead for days on end. She had had a near breakdown because of me. She thought I was gone, I got why she was being clingy.

I was willing to be there for her but I also didn't want to let it get too bad before I started the separation technique. Thinking back on the first time I did the separation technique made me sick. I had hated it more than anything but if it helped Wanda in the long run, I would do it. I really just wanted to scoop her up though and never let her go.

Sam had been asking me to do another session with Wanda though anyway, she still hadn't worked through everything from the kidnapping and now she also had the panic from my mission so she definitely needed it. I agreed and decided that he could watch Wanda while I had the conversation with everyone else. If anyone could help her through the separation anxiety, it would be him, a therapist.

It didn't make it any easier though as I had to leave my crying daughter with Sam. 

Steve and I continued our way through the hall until we made it to one of our conference rooms. Tony was already sitting there once we got there and he looked pissed that he was there. I knew that I had overstepped by yelling at him. I had screwed up a lot in the past couple of days. I really didn't want to deal with him though either but I would apologize and then hopefully we could be done.

"You look like shit," he told me once we walked into the room.

"Tony," Steve interjected but I could take care of myself so I interrupted Steve.

"Thanks Stark, you don't look too great either. You drinking again?" I bit out at him, knowing it was a sensitive topic but wanting to cut deep right now.

He glared at me and I glared right back. "Both of you, quit it," Steve snapped, using the voice he reserved for missions. "This isn't going to get us anywhere. We are here to discuss what happened and then move on. I'll be back, don't kill each other, you have 10 minutes," he told us. I knew that he wasn't going to stay here while we made up, this was between Tony and me, not Steve and us. 

Steve stepped out, letting the door close behind him. I turned to face Tony. He was still sitting down but I didn't take a seat, staying standing with a slightly wide stance as I crossed my arms over my chest. Some have dubbed it my "no-nonsense" stance and it seemed fitting for me to use it right now. 

Neither of us said anything to each other for a few minutes and it wasn't until I realized that I was supposed to be the one apologizing that we got anywhere. I sighed before saying, "I'm sorry for snapping at you at the farm. I get that you were trying to help Wanda and I appreciate that."

He scoffed and my anger flared. "Okay Stark, you can act like a toddler, that's fine, but I'm apologizing so either grow the fuck up and accept it or stay away from me and Wanda until you decide to get over your damn ego and accept my apology. You aren't innocent here." I turned to leave, not wanting to spend any more time on this, but Tony started to talk, stopping me.

"I'm sorry too, I know I handled it immaturely when we were there. I'm sorry for making jabs at Wanda, I never should have brought her powers into the conversation like that. Is she okay?" The last time he saw her, she was sobbing in his arms, so I didn't blame him for wondering how she was doing.

"She's fine, she's dealing with separation anxiety again but she'll get through it. Thank you for your apology. We both screwed up, but let's agree to do better next time and move on, deal?" He nodded and I told FRIDAY that she could get Steve. 

Steve showed up and Tony took that as his cue to leave. This conversation was now between Steve and me rather than Tony and us. 

The second the door closed, Tony leaving the room, Steve jumped directly into questioning, "What happened with Fury once I left?"

I told him about our conversation, about how I got off easy. Steve seemed relieved when I finished telling him what had happened.

"I'm glad it wasn't that big of a deal," he said after I finished telling him everything. "I honestly thought I would have to fight him over kicking you off the team when he messaged me at the farm. I'm shocked you didn't even get put on probation though. Did he say anything about future missions?"

"No, just that if I ever pull anything like that again, I'll be on probation." Steve nodded.

"Are we good?" I asked him and I watched as he looked at me for a second longer than normal before replying.

"Yeah, but Tony wasn't 100% wrong, you don't look great Nat, are you sleeping?" Wanda had pointed it out earlier and the second she said something, I knew that I needed to get sleep. The truth was, I hadn't slept at all in well over 24 hours. I honestly couldn't remember the last time I had gotten a full night of rest. Hell, Laura and Clint were worried about it before I left for the mission. I was honestly surprised I was still up and moving. I felt like a walking zombie. Wanda needed me though so I didn't have any other options.

"Yeah, Wanda's been having nightmares so I've been waking up but I'm fine," I told him, my voice soft.

"What about on the mission? Wanda couldn't have woken you up then."

"Exactly, I slept," I told him.

"How many hours?" I contemplated lying to him but I changed my mind at the last second.

"About 4 the entire time we were there." I could slowly feel my resolve breaking as my mind continued traveling further and further back, desperately searching for the last time I got good sleep, but unfortunately, I was coming up with nothing. "Honestly Steve, I can't remember the last time I've slept through the night. Wanda wakes up almost every night and although I obviously don't mind getting up to take care of her, it is hard. I couldn't sleep on the mission because I was too worried about Wanda and I got no sleep the night we got back."

"Oh my gosh Nat," Steve said, realizing that it's a miracle I'm still moving and conscious. "Do you need me to take Wanda for the night? Pepper can sleep with her."

"No, I've got her, she wouldn't take too well to being taken away from me," I told him, knowing that it would be a fight.

"Nat, if you don't get sleep soon, we may not have a choice. You don't look good."

"Thank you," I scoffed.

"I'm being serious Natasha, you need to sleep, you need to take care of yourself. If you don't, I'm telling Fury that I don't think you're fit for any missions." That didn't scare me, I wasn't going on missions anyway. 

"Okay, I'll sleep," I told him, rolling my eyes. 

He must've known that I wasn't threatened by the idea that he might tell Fury so he added, "If you don't sleep a full 8 hours tonight, I'm calling Clint and Laura. I'll send you to stay with them until you're doing better. I'm not going to watch you harm yourself for Wanda." That definitely instilled more fear in me. Laura and Clint had already had a conversation with me about taking better care of myself. I was putting myself in danger and I knew what happened when I did that. I doubted they would do anything, I was too old, but they had definitely threatened it and I didn't want to risk it.

Instead of arguing or pointing out the fact that sending me to stay with the Barton's wouldn't be possible due to Wanda, I just nodded and said, "Okay Steve, I promise, I'll sleep."

"You better, I'll check with FRIDAY." I rolled my eyes but was mainly doing it in a joking fashion. I obviously wasn't happy that he was going to basically be babysitting me but I didn't care, I had ways of convincing FRIDAY to lie for me in case I wasn't able to get the full 8 hours. I highly doubted I would actually get that sleep. Wanda still had nightmares and I couldn't let her deal with them herself. I would definitely try to get some sleep tonight though.

"I will get some sleep, promise," I said one more time before making to leave. "I have to go find Wanda, I hope she hasn't completely worked herself up," I told him.

"I'll go with you," he replied and I nodded. We both made our way back to the living room. As we got closer, I noticed that I heard talking voices but I didn't hear completely panicked voices. There was no screaming or sobbing. 

I was pleasantly surprised when I walked around the corner and saw that Wanda was somewhat okay. She still had tears streaming down her face and her breaths were a bit faster than normal but this was a massive improvement from past times. I knew that this didn't mean much. Even though she was okay this time, it didn't mean that she would be okay when I left the next time, but I would take the win.

She ran over to me the second I walked into the room, throwing her arms around me. I wrapped her in a hug and looked at Sam questioningly, wondering how he had gotten her to calm down. He mouthed that he would tell me later and I nodded as I moved to the couch with Wanda.

"I missed you," she told me.

"You did so great baby," I told her, smiling at her. She smiled at me before leaning back into my side, getting as close to me as she possibly could. 

We didn't talk too much more as we moved further onto the couch, relaxing into each other as we watched the movie. It was only mid-afternoon so we had a while before dinner and bed so for now, we would just watch movies together.