Better Days

NATASHA POV:

I was so glad to be home that I didn't wait for Steve to say anything or give me any orders before bolting off the jet and running towards the house.

I let myself in when I got there. The sight surprised me. Clint was holding a crying Lila and both Pepper and Tony were there. Why were they here? I immediately panicked, something must have happened to Wanda. I also didn't miss the crushed wall behind Clint. 

"Natasha?" Tony asked when I opened the door as he saw me first.

"Auntie Nat!" Lila yelled out, running over to me while she threw her arms around my legs. I bent down slightly, grabbing her under the armpits while I pulled her to sit on my hip. It made my stomach pull from the gunshot wound but I didn't care. "I thought you were dead," she cried, shoving her face into my shoulder while her hands played with my hair.

"What?" I asked, mostly asking the adults in the room.

Clint walked up to me and looked equal parts relieved and angry. "We thought you were dead," he hissed. "Why didn't you respond to any of us?"

"I responded to you as soon as I got in the jet and received your messages," I told him, getting defensive. 

"My phone got broken," he explained.

"Okay, so why are you angry at me?" I asked, my voice deadly. I desperately wanted Wanda but I wanted to get to the bottom of this first. Besides, I still had a crying Lila gripping onto me.

"Because you haven't responded in days and now you come waltzing in here totally fine."

"You don't get to do that Barton, you understand that missions can sometimes go sideways. My phone got shot so I couldn't use it. I'm so sorry that it was an inconvenience to you," I growled.

"Not just to me," he mumbled back.

"What?" 

"Maybe you should go see your daughter." My stomach lurched when he said that. 

"Where is she?" 

"Upstairs, with Laura," he said and I could tell he was still pissed off at me. I knew we would be having a conversation but right now, Wanda was more important. I gently pried Lila off of me and handed her over to Clint before rushing up the stairs.

I ran to our room and threw the door open. Laura was sitting next to her, carding her fingers through her hair. She was sound asleep.

Laura shot up when I came in. "Nat?" she asked before rushing over to me. "What happened? Are you okay?" 

"I'm sorry, my phone got shot, I'm fine, what happened here?" I asked, brushing past her to sit next to Wanda. I brushed some hair out of her face as I placed a gentle kiss on her temple. God, I've missed her. I was slightly surprised that she didn't wake up but Laura continued talking, taking my main attention away from Laura.

"Wanda didn't take too well to you being gone," she started. I turned to look at her.

"What did she do?" I asked, almost afraid of the answer. 

"Well, it was kind of our fault," she continued and I narrowed my eyes slightly, confused as to what she meant. "When we didn't hear from you, we got incredibly worried. We tried to call you, Steve, even the Quinjet, but nothing was working. We thought you were dead Nat," she told me softly and my heart skipped a beat. Shit, Wanda wouldn't have taken that well at all. "Clint lied to Wanda an-"

"He did what?" I growled, angry that he would lie to her. He knew how long it took us to get her to trust us and he just threw that all away by lying to her.

"He was trying to protect her. We had no idea where you were or if you were okay so he told her that you were texting him and that you were just too busy to call."

"Great, so Wanda will think I was too busy for her once she wakes up," I voiced my concern, angry at both of them.

"No she won't," Laura told me, her voice gentle. "She found out."

"She found out what?" I asked her, my voice low and deadly.

"That you weren't texting Clint. She was doing well for several days until she stole Clint's phone. I have no idea how she figured out the password but she got into it and saw his text messages to you and your lack of messages." She paused before continuing, "she also knows what your mission was about." Shit, that wasn't good. She wasn't supposed to know what happened. If she had read all of the messages, she knew that I was on it because of her kidnapping which definitely wouldn't go over well with her. She was very sensitive when it came to things like that. I knew that she would think she was a burden because I had to go on that mission. I would just have to assure her otherwise once she woke up.

"How'd she take it?" I asked, glancing back at the still sleeping Wanda.

"Not well," she said. "She came down, angry and panicked. We could tell the second she confronted us that she was overwhelmed. I'm going to tell you this but you can't get angry," she said and I took a deep breath. "She slammed Clint into the wall with her powers and then left, running into the woods. When we got there, she was surrounded by a giant red bubble while she sobbed. We couldn't get to her Nat, we tried. Clint had to call in Tony and Pepper to help, we didn't know what to do. Tony told her that he had just gotten a call from you that you were almost done with the mission and that was the only thing that calmed her down enough. She passed out from exhaustion. She thought you were dead."

I didn't get angry at her when I heard about her using her powers on Clint. She knew she wasn't supposed to do that but honestly, I felt as if Clint deserved it. He had lied to my kid and she had found out about it. Sure I didn't want her panicking the entire time I was gone and I felt horrible about it but there were a million other ways he could have gone about that that didn't require lying to her. It also seems as if she has been punished enough going through what she's gone through. I was also pissed at Tony, he lied to her when she was already in a moment of panic. I don't care if it calmed her down, he should have been honest. If I had gotten injured or killed during that mission, she could have really hurt them when she found out due to the buildup of lies. 

"How long has she been out?" I grit through closed teeth and a clenched jaw.

"A couple of hours, she'll probably wake up soon. I'm sorry Nat," Laura told me gently and I found myself getting mad at her too. Laura could have stopped the lie at any time but she didn't.

"Get out," I told her, my voice low.  

"Natasha," she warned, her voice just as low.

"Get out!" I snapped, raising my voice. 

"You don't get to talk to me like that," she responded, her voice raised as well.

"Yes I do Laura, I get to talk to you like that when you lied to my daughter! Not only did you cause her unnecessary suffering when she found out the truth but now she's passed out and may not wake up. We have no idea how far she pushed herself with her powers but she obviously pushed way further than her body could handle, so I'll say it one more time, get, out," I felt tears building up as I screamed at Laura. 

She looked like she was going to say something when I said, "Get out!" once more, about to lose my battle with the tears. She turned and left the room and I collapsed next to my girl, letting tears fall as I thought of how scared and distraught she must've been. I hated myself for not being here to comfort her and for going as long as I did without contacting them. We should have just risked getting located by turning on the jet, then I would have been able to contact them, let them know what was happening, and we would have been fine. 

I pushed my sadness down, letting my tears stop, as I was overcome by anger at two very specific people. I knew that Wanda probably wasn't waking up anytime soon and as much as I hated leaving her, I knew I had to go do this before she woke up. I quickly changed out of my suit into a pair of sweats and a t-shirt as my leg was throbbing and the suit was doing nothing to help as it pressed against the wound.

I made sure that the blankets were tucked around Wanda before stomping down the stairs, heading to the living room where everyone was sitting or standing around. Tony and Pepper were talking to Steve while Clint and Laura were talking to each other quietly. It was getting late but all three kids were still awake, the older two sitting on the floor while they played with cars and barbies. 

The adults looked up when I came into the room. "Barton, Stark, get your asses outside, now," I growled, not in the mood to deal with them. Clint glared at me but I glared right back. Both kids glanced up at me and I tried flashing them a smile before turning and heading outside. 

"Nat," I heard Steve say but I turned and shook my head. 

"We'll be right back," I told him as calmly as I could before I continued my way outside. 

Both Tony and Clint followed me outside, stopping once we got far enough away from the house that the occupants in the house couldn't hear our argument. 

"What the hell were you two thinking?" I snapped the second we stopped, whipping around to face them.

"Watch it," Clint warned. I was too angry to get embarrassed at being scolded in front of Tony.

"No, you watch it, what the hell were you thinking lying to my daughter?" I responded, yelling this time.

"You weren't responding to us, we needed to do something," Clint replied. "Would you rather her think you were dead this entire time?" he growled. I could tell he was angry at me as well but I didn't care.

"You both know how long it took for her to trust us but apparently, neither of you cared as you threw all of that away by lying to her about me."

Clint moved to me, getting close to my ear. "You better watch it Natasha, you need to calm down," he warned and I pushed him away, moving away from him. If looks could kill, I'd be dead, but I didn't care as I continued.

"Neither of you considered anyone's feelings but yourself and now my daughter could be severely injured. We have no idea if she'll wake up."

"She'll wake up," Tony scoffed and I fought the urge to attack him.

"Oh really? How do you know that Stark? And don't get me started on you, you were called here to diffuse the situation, not make it worse by continuing the lie. What if I hadn't come home? What would you have done then?"

"I did diffuse the situation," he snapped. "You should have seen your beloved daughter earlier," he said, using his casual cold tone and I saw red. I breathed through it though, if I attacked a team member, this would get a lot worse very quickly. "Sorry for trying to prevent her from killing anyone, maybe you should ask why the wall is crumbling inside of the house?" he asked and I almost didn't care what the repercussions would be about punching him but somehow, I managed not to attack. 

"Shut it Stark," Clint snapped and I felt a bit better about it. I knew I wasn't completely irrational. "Natasha, we understand that we probably shouldn't have lied to her but we made the best decision for the information that we had. We were worried she was going to hurt herself so we had to do whatever we could to get her to let her red bubble down to get to her." That made me feel bad about confronting them, if she had been trying to hurt herself, then I understood why they lied. I wasn't happy about it but now I knew why they did it.

"Sorry," I mumbled. "I didn't know how bad it was. And I'm sorry I didn't respond to you guys but I had to do what I thought was best as well. Next time, don't lie to my daughter, and Stark," I said, turning to him. "Get out of my sight before I lose it." He rolled his eyes and scoffed but left, leaving only Clint and me standing in the field.

"Do you want to explain your meltdown?" Clint asked me sternly and I looked away, blushing at the term 'meltdown.'

"Sorry," I told him. "But you're not in the right either," I said, the anger coming back as I looked at him.

"Really? What did you want me to do Natasha?" he asked, his voice stern and angry.

"Not lie to Wanda who was obviously going through some stuff."

"We were trying to keep her calm Nat," he told me, calming down slightly. "Laura and I had no idea where you were, you could have been dead, we didn't want her to know anything was wrong until we knew for sure."

"So instead you settled for telling her I was too busy for her?"

"I didn't tell her that!" he snapped. "You need to calm way down Natasha or we will be having this conversation after we deal with your attitude." I knew what he was insinuating but he still couldn't do that, I was an adult.

"You can't do that, I'm an adult, we went over this before I left," I hissed.

"I can and I will if you don't lose the attitude. And maybe I won't do that but you will at least be taking a time out to take some time to think before you do anything irrational, got it?"

"You're an idiot Barton," I told him, blushing at the term 'time out'. "All I'm trying to do is protect my daughter and you're doing everything you can to undermine that. What if I was dead? Huh, what would you have done then?"

He looked like he could murder me but managed to keep his composure as he said, "We would have handled it but right now, you're fine, so we don't need to worry about that. But Nat, you're not listening to what we were dealing with. She wasn't eating or sleeping once you didn't answer your phone so I figured I could bend the truth slightly for the next few days. I told her that you were crazy busy and were trying to finish the mission as quickly as possible to get back to you so you didn't have much time to talk on the phone. She never once thought that you didn't have enough time for her."

"How do you know that? You don't know what she was feeling."

"You're right, I don't, but she was happy Natasha, she played with the kids and acted like a normal teenager, so I would say we did fine."

"Yeah, until she found out that you lied to her. That entire meltdown could have been avoided if you had just been honest with her since the beginning."

"Okay, so you would rather she be worried the entire time instead of having a few days of happiness?" he snapped.

"No, obviously not Barton, bu-"

"Stop calling me Barton," he growled. 

"Whatever Barton," I spit out. Before I could continue, he grabbed my arm and turned me slightly. I was surprised and thought I was going to be popped but he stopped before he did anything.

"Say one more thing and I will pop you," he warned. "You are way out of your depth right now kiddo and you need to cool it before we continue this conversation." He was being stern and it reminded me of when I used to live with him when I was younger. 

I pulled away, yanking my arm out of his grasp, as I turned around to take some deep breaths. I knew he was right. I was being unreasonable, I just hated that Wanda had suffered while I was gone, even though it was my fault. I should have never left.

I turned back to continue the conversation and went to say something but Clint stopped me. "Are you calm yet? Because I'm not above popping you if you have an attitude with me," Clint warned. 

"Yes," I said, trying to stay calm. I was an adult now and he was still treating me like a child. Deep down, I knew that this would have gone way different if I was still a child, ending me with a sore bottom, but I didn't care, I shouldn't even be getting a fraction of this treatment right now. 

"As I was saying, I would never want her to suffer for days but I also would have preferred if you hadn't lied to her. I understand that you felt as if that was best but she has severe trust issues, I know you know that, and we have to be careful with that."

"I know Natasha," Clint said and he sounded slightly gentle. "I'm sorry for lying to her, I really am, but I didn't know what to do. Not only were we trying to keep her calm with the situation but we thought you may have been killed which is fucking scary." 

I sighed as the guilt started creeping in again. "I know, I'm sorry I put you in that position, my phone got shot and so it was broken. Steve's got broken too during a fight and we couldn't risk turning on the jet and showing up on HYDRA's radar. I should have tried harder though."

"Your phone was shot? Are you okay?" he asked and I realized I hadn't told him about getting shot yet.

"I have two GSWs, one to the thigh and one to the abdomen," I mumbled, not liking that the conversation had switched over to me.

"How are you walking?" he asked as he moved closer to me. 

"I'm fine," I told him, stepping back slightly. "How did she find out?" I asked, even though I already knew.

"She doesn't know you were shot," he replied, looking confused. 

"No Bar- Clint," I said, quickly fixing it before he did pop me. I knew he would if I got too mouthy, I was honestly surprised I had gotten away with being mouthy for this long. "How did she find out that you were lying to her?"

"She found my phone and got into it somehow. Then she looked at our messages. It didn't take a genius to figure out that I hadn't actually been talking to you."

"How'd she react?" I asked. Again, I already knew most of this from Laura but I wanted him to tell me.

He sighed before responding. "She came down and was angry, obviously. She wanted to know why I had been lying and she was releasing some of her powers. She was panicking," he told me and I felt my heart clench. "I tried to comfort her but when I moved too close, she freaked and threw me into a wall with her powers," he was hesitant as he told me that, trying to read my reaction.

"Okay, what else?" I asked.

"I got knocked unconscious but when I woke up, she was in the woods."

"Where were the kids?" I asked, scared of his answer. They had all looked fine but if she had hurt them or hurt Clint in front of them, I knew that she would be beating herself up even more and I would need to address that once she woke up.

"The older two were at school and Nate was napping." I sighed in relief at his response. 

"Okay, so what happened after that?"

"We both went to find her in the woods which wasn't hard because she had a huge red mist bubble surrounding her. She was sobbing in the center and we knew we needed to get to her." I felt my heart clench again, my poor baby. "We got to her but either she couldn't hear us or wasn't listening. We tried what we could to get to her but she wouldn't listen so we called in Tony and Pepper to help." He must have known that I knew a little bit about what happened since I had yelled at Tony about lying to Wanda which happened with the bubble.

"Then Tony told her that you were almost done which got her to let the bubble dissipate. We went to her but she was a mess Nat," he sighed. "She passed out and we took her home, she's been out ever since."

I took some deep breaths, she was going to need a lot of reassurance and comfort when she woke up. I just hoped she wouldn't try to hurt herself again but I wouldn't be surprised if she tried. 

"Were you the only one hurt?" I asked, chewing the inside of my cheek.

"Yes," he replied.

"I'm sorry," I told him, blinking back tears. I had caused this, I should have stayed, I should have let Steve deal with HYDRA. Not only does everyone here hate me, but I probably lost my job too. "I should've been better," I continued.

"No, Nat, this is not your fault, listen to me," he said, coming closer to me so that I looked at him. "No one blames Wanda, we aren't mad at her at all. The kids can live in ignorant bliss and we still love her. She was amazing with the kids, we took pictures, you'll see. She'll be okay, none of this was your fault," he tried to reassure me.

"But it is," I mumbled. "She would have been fine if I never left." Then another thought came to my head. "I killed them Clint," I told him, tears pooling in my eyes. "All of them, Fury's going to be pissed. I may not be an Avenger anymore," I told him, the full reality of what I did finally coming to me. I could feel a panic attack coming on.

"Tasha," he said softly, gently grabbing onto my hands. "They hurt your daughter, I'm sure Fury will understand."

"No," I shook my head. "He won't. I was under strict instruction not to kill them but I did, I lost it, the guard mentioned Wanda, when he raped her, and I lost it. I failed," I whispered at the end, my legs almost collapsing.

Clint pulled me into a hug and I wrapped my arms around him, trying to breathe. I had failed. "Shh kiddo," he mumbled. "You're okay." I cried, letting out my fear of failure, how I had hurt Wanda, how Steve was mad at me, the possibility of losing my job, and everything else.

We stood in the field, me holding onto Clint for way longer than I had wanted to, before I pulled away, wiping my eyes. "Sorry," I mumbled.

"No, don't apologize, you did nothing wrong," he told me. "Let's go back to the farm, you can see Wanda and sit down. I also want to look at those gunshot wounds," he told me and I could tell by his tone that there was no room for argument.

"I have to go talk to Fury," I responded, remembering what Steve had told me.

"That can wait, let's go," he said, wrapping an arm around my waist to help me back.

We both walked back to the farm and Clint led me into the room, past the curious looks of everyone else, as he helped me sit on the couch. Laura came and sat next to me. "Is she okay?" she asked Clint.

"I'm fine Laura," I told her. "I'm sorry," I said, much quieter this time to make sure that only her ears picked up my apology.

"It's okay," she whispered back. "We'll talk later."

Clint came over with some cleaning stuff for my gunshot wounds before slowly lifting the bottom of my shirt. That wound was fine, I was just waiting for him to get to the one on my leg. I let him clean it out before stitching it. We hadn't had the stuff on the jet so we had to work with just wrapping it but now Clint was able to stitch it, smearing some cream on it before wrapping it with gauze. I knew that you weren't supposed to stitch a wound after too long, especially after several days, but this wound was too big and still hadn't healed nearly enough to be fine without them.

Then he moved to the one on my leg. It was high up so I had to pull my pants down slightly but my shirt covered almost everything and Laura handed me a blanket to cover anything else. The wound was infected, I knew that from the pain, but I hadn't let Steve see it the entire time I was there so it never got cleaned. 

"That's infected!" Steve exclaimed when he saw the wound.

"Great observation Captain Obvious," I told him, closing my eyes against the sting of the antiseptic on my wound. 

"Why didn't you tell me?" he told me. 

"We had to finish the mission," I grunted out, jumping when Clint reached an exceptionally painful point. I pulled my leg away slightly but let Clint bring it back as he continued to clean the wound. He dabbed around it very gently.

"There's something in there," Clint said, poking around it gently with some gauze. "I think."

"I thought I got it all out, sorry Nat," Steve said before I could say anything.

"There probably is, I had my phone in my pocket and I got shot through it. Parts of the phone and the screen were in my leg. Steve tried getting it out but I definitely didn't sit super still so he very well could have missed something," I told them, trying to give an excuse for Steve since I knew he felt horrible. I had sat relatively still during the initial cleaning but I had been nearly screaming in pain so it made sense that Steve wanted to move quickly, resulting in a few missed pieces.

"I have to get it out, do you need something to bite on?" Clint asked, knowing how this went. It wasn't the first time he had dug something out of a wound for me.

I held up the blanket, letting him know that I was good to go as I folded part of the blanket and put it between my teeth, biting down as I got ready for the pain. Laura, knowing what was going to happen, sent the kids outside with Pepper who also looked nervous. Tony and Steve stayed though while Laura gently placed a hand on my arm. They were really being dramatic about this, I would be fine.

"Ready Nat?" Clint asked and I nodded, leaning back against the couch as my hands came up to grab the blanket. 

Now that the wound was infected, it was a lot more painful as Clint dug through it. I heard him apologize several times as he dug deeper. This time, a lot more screams escaped me, although they were muffled in the blanket. 

"Sorry Nat, I just need to make sure I got all of it," I heard Clint say as he kept digging through it. He had a pair of tweezers and I could feel them poking the muscles in my leg as he searched for any more bits of my phone.

"Flush it," I told him, panting through the pain, as I pulled the blanket out of my mouth for a second. Instead of flushing with water, we would flush it with rubbing alcohol or another type of antiseptic to ensure that it was clean. The pain would also actually work as a numbing agent, sometimes making any more cleaning a bit more bearable.

I closed my eyes and I felt Laura squeeze my arm as Clint started to pour some rubbing alcohol into my wound and I immediately felt the white-hot pain tear through my thigh. I let out a mangled scream into the blanket as I clenched my eyes shut, trying not to reach down and stop him from pouring the liquid over my leg. I felt Laura's hand moving up and down on my arm as she tried to comfort me.

"Done," he told me, setting the bottle down. I sighed with relief, moving the blanket from my mouth to take deep breaths. "I'm not going to stitch it, I don't want to trap any infection in there," Clint told me, wrapping some gauze around it instead. "You'll just have to be careful and wash it a few times a day," Clint continued, cleaning the area around us. I knew this, I wasn't new to infected wounds, especially gunshot wounds, I would be fine.

"Thanks Clint," I told him sincerely, removing the blanket from my legs and pulling my pants up. It hurt as it slightly brushed against my thigh but it wasn't horrible and it was a million times better than my suit so I didn't complain, standing up instead.

"I know we all need to have a conversation soon, I told them, but right now, I'm going to go see Wanda." There was no room for argument in my tone as I left the living room, heading to our room. 

I heard Laura getting the kids ready for bed and only then did I realize how late it actually was. I hadn't eaten anything in a few hours but that could wait. My stomach churned whenever I thought about the conversation I would be having with Laura and Clint anyway as I knew I definitely wouldn't get away with all of my yelling without a conversation. I just had to look at Wanda though and it calmed my nerves about the whole situation. As long as she was okay, everything would be fine.

WANDA POV:

I opened my eyes, squinting at the light spilling into the room through the open window next to me. My eyes rolled around the room, quickly figuring out that I was in my room at the farm. At first, I was confused, but then everything quickly came rushing back and I almost threw up. 

I had used my powers on a member of the team, Nat was probably dead or at least severely injured, I was going to get kicked out, I was going to have to go back to HYDRA, the list kept going on. I felt my breathing pick up when a hand landed on my wrist. I turned to look at who the hand belonged to and saw a blurry figure. It only took a second to register that Nat was staring back at me, a soft smile on her face.

The second I realized it was her, I threw myself into her arms, breaking into sobs. This wasn't real, it couldn't be, she was dead. "Mama," I cried, gripping onto her, not wanting her to go. I was too afraid that this was a dream and that she wasn't actually here.

"Shh baby, I've got you. You're okay, I'm sorry sweetie," she told me, rubbing my back as her other hand cradled the back of my head. 

"Mama," I repeated through my gasps of breath. I felt her gently pushing me back and I freaked out, I didn't want her to go yet. She was probably furious with me for hurting Clint though. I tried fighting my way back to her but she was stronger and managed to hold me in front of her. 

"You need to breathe Wanda," she told me. I couldn't breathe, I needed her before she kicked me out for hurting Clint. I had gone too far, a spanking wouldn't fix this, no matter how much I wanted it to. They would send me away, maybe hand me back to HYDRA. That is, if Nat actually was here and this wasn't my mind playing tricks on me. Tony had told me that she was okay but I still hadn't heard from her, I still thought she was dead, even though she was right in front of me.

"Mama, please," I begged, trying to get back to her through my sobs. I still could barely breathe, panic setting in.

"Wanda, breathe," I heard her say, her voice slightly raised and a whole new round of tears overcame me. "Shh, like this Wands," she tried, putting my hand to her chest so that I could feel the rise and fall of it. I tried to match my breathing but I was too panicky, I just wanted her. 

She must have been able to tell because she pulled me back into her chest, her hands coming back to my head and back, rubbing comforting circles over my back. I felt us moving and soon, there was a hand under my butt to support me as she stood up, shifting me to her hip as she walked around the room.

My good hand came up to grip her hair lightly, proving to me that she was still here. Meanwhile, my other hand wrapped around her neck to hold onto her. I inhaled her scent, vanilla, and felt it calming me. She hadn't changed her perfume since I commented on the change months ago and I had come to know Nat with the scent of vanilla, quickly and efficiently calming me down.

I was still crying and my breath hitched occasionally but I felt much calmer as I laid my head on her shoulder, trying to completely calm down. The entire time, Nat walked around the room, bouncing me slightly as she whispered sweet nothings to me, trying to get me to calm down.

"Shh baby, I'm here sweetie. I'm not leaving, I've got you," she whispered. "I love you so much, shh, you're gonna be okay." Her reassurances caused me to calm down the rest of the way, keeping my head on her shoulder. Just because she stayed with me to calm me down, didn't mean she wouldn't leave or kick me out. I had started to believe that she was actually here though and she wasn't just in my imagination.

She sat on the bed, pulling me to sprawl across her lap, my upper body resting against her chest. She played with my hair as she cradled me close. "I missed you baby," she mumbled and I held on a little tighter.

"I missed you too mama, I thought I lost you," I told her, being completely honest with her. I felt Nat's breath hitch as I told her that and I immediately worried I said the wrong thing. "I'm sorry, I didn't mea-" I started frantically but she cut me off.

"No, you're okay honey," she told me, quick to reassure me. "I'm so sorry for not calling or texting, my phone got damaged early on and we couldn't reach you guys. I'm so sorry though, I'm sorry for worrying you. I love you so much," she said, planting a kiss in my hair. I kept my face pressed against her shoulder, inhaling her scent as I wasn't sure when I would be with her next.

"Please don't send me back there. I'm sorry mama, I didn't mean to, it just happened," I told her, almost stumbling over my words at how quickly I was speaking. 

"Shh, shh baby, I'm not sending you anywhere. You're staying here with me, I'm not mad at you at all. I eventually want to talk about what happened but I'm not mad at all, I promise." I snuggled closer to her at that, not fully trusting her. I knew that she didn't lie to me but I was still scared. What if it was just another lie to keep me calm until they could ship me off?

"I'm so sorry," I told her, the tears coming back. "Is Clint mad?" I asked, scared for her answer. 

"No honey, he's not mad, he's worried but not mad. No one is mad at you, everyone understands."

"I could have hurt the kids," I cried out, remembering my limited control over my powers. If a kid had been there, I don't know what would have happened. 

"No you wouldn't have," she told me firmly, although she didn't sound angry, just sure about what she was saying. "You wouldn't have hurt the kids and you didn't hurt the kids. They are okay, they miss you and want to know when you can play again. They aren't hurt at all."

"But I could have," I said, burying my face into her chest, the tears returning.

"Wanda, listen to me," she said, trying to tip my chin up but I kept it firmly tucked into her chest. She sighed but continued. "The kids are fine, Clint is fine, Laura is fine, everyone is fine. We will work on power control when we get to the compound but you didn't hurt anyone. Everyone is okay."

"I hurt Clint," I sobbed, feeling horrible. He had passed out before I left. 

"He's fine Wanda, he's downstairs right now playing with the kids. He's not mad and he's not too hurt, he's just got some bruises but he gets those when we spar, he'll be okay." I shifted on Nat and heard her hiss slightly, I stopped, immediately looking at her.

"Are you okay?" I asked.

"Yeah baby, I'm fine," she told me but I didn't believe her. I felt something on her stomach and moved her shirt slightly to see a piece of gauze. I moved backward as I looked at it. 

"What happened?" I questioned, horrified at the slightly blood-stained gauze.

"I'm okay baby," she tried to assure me, pulling me back to her chest, but I fought back, wanting to know what happened.

"No, what happened?" I asked again, tears filling my eyes yet again. 

"I got shot," she replied and I felt my eyes go wide.

"You got shot? Are you okay? I'm so sorry mama, I never should have left, then I never would have gotten kidnapped, I'm so sorry, then you never would have had to go and you never would have been shot and then you wouldn't be in pain and the-"

"Wanda!" Nat snapped and I looked at her, tears streaming down my face. She had been trying to stop me but I kept going, wanting her to know how sorry I was. When she snapped at me, I broke into sobs again. I was sensitive right now and I was still scared and slightly confused. It was all just a bit overwhelming right now.

"Aww, honey, I'm sorry, shh, c'mere," she said, pulling my back to her chest. I leaned against her, sobs taking over my body. "I'm sorry I snapped but you were working yourself up. Me getting shot wasn't your fault, okay?" I nodded, sniffling against her. "The mission is not your fault, me getting hurt is not your fault, none of this is your fault. Besides, I'm fine, they're already healing." I noticed that she said 'they're' as in there's more than one.

I voiced my worry to her, "There's more than one?"

"I got shot twice, I'm okay though honey. One went into my thigh, the other went into my stomach, they're healing though and I can barely even feel them." I was sitting in her lap, most likely sitting on one of the gunshot wounds, so I pulled away, quickly getting off her lap.

"I'm sorry! Did I hurt you?" I asked, worried that she had been in pain.

"No honey, they don't hurt that much, I promise. They're just a little sore. C'mere," she responded, opening her arms for me to collapse into again. I was exhausted, I had missed her so much though and didn't want to fall back asleep just yet.

"I know that your mission was about me, I'm sorry," I told her, having calmed down already.

"Don't apologize," she told me. "The mission wasn't fully about you. We had to shut down a HYDRA base that you just so happened to have been kidnapped by. You aren't the reason we went though, okay?" I nodded, not fully believing her though. It did make me feel a tiny bit better though so I went with it. 

"Do we have to leave?" I asked after a few seconds of silence.

"Yeah baby, we do," she said and I felt my heart skip a beat. So Clint didn't want me here after all. He was probably too worried that I would hurt his kids. What if he never wanted me around them again? I was working myself up again and Nat must have felt my erratic breathing because she said, "Hey, calm down, we can come back. I just have to go talk to Fury after the mission and we have to get your cast off. We can definitely plan another trip here though."

"So Clint doesn't want me to leave?" I asked carefully. "He's not too afraid I'll hurt his kids?"

"No, not at all honey," she told me. "He absolutely loves you, so do Laura and the kids, but I have some stuff to take care of after the mission and we need to get that cast off," she said, pointing at my still casted arm. I was so ready for this to come off. 

"How's your leg doing?" she asked after I had calmed down almost completely, just enjoying being held by my mama.

"It's good," I told her. The truth was, it ached a little bit, probably from my recent running episode, but it was okay. That made me think of something. "How long have you been back?"

"Almost a day," she told me. That meant that if she was angry earlier, she would have had plenty of time to think over her anger, getting over it by this point. 

"How long have I been out?" I asked, wondering if it had been longer.

"Almost a day," she replied with a slight laugh due to her previous response. "I got back right after you passed out in the woods."

"Were you mad?" I asked.

"About what?" she responded.

"When you heard about my powers?" I mumbled, almost hoping she didn't hear me.

"No, I really wasn't Wanda. I knew that you were hurting and although you are never to use your powers on a member of the team again, I get that you were scared and confused and in that moment, you had a hard time controlling it. That's why we'll work on control later but right now, I'm good with hanging with you," she told me with a smile and I nodded, glad to hear that she wasn't angry.

"When do we have to leave?" I asked.

"Soon," she sighed. "We'll go home with Steve, Tony, and Pepper, but we've got at least a few hours. They may even wait until tomorrow since it's getting late. The kids are already home from school." I knew it couldn't be too late by the sun still shining through the window but it was approaching late afternoon. I hoped they waited, I wasn't ready to leave the family just yet.

I could feel my eyes closing but before I could fall asleep, Nat said, "hold on baby, I know you're tired but you've got to go eat. You haven't eaten in a while and I don't want you getting sick. Did you eat and sleep while I was gone?" she asked me with a pointed look and I nodded.

"I tried," I responded honestly. 

"I'll take it," she smiled, giving me one last big hug before we both got off of the bed. I stayed close to her, holding her hand with my good hand as we walked down the hall. I knew I wasn't reforming the separation anxiety, I had just missed her terribly and was so happy that she was home. Especially since my last thought of her was that she was gone. I couldn't survive without her so I was extraordinarily happy that she was back.

We got downstairs and I felt embarrassed. Everyone was there, staring at me and Nat as we walked into the room. I knew that my face was probably still splotchy and red from crying, showing everyone how much of a baby I was. I also was horrified to spot the crumbling wall behind Tony. The drywall had been cracked and parts of it were missing. I felt my breathing pick up slightly as I looked at it but Nat quickly guided me away as she squeezed my hand.

Clint and Laura were in the kitchen, making dinner, while Tony and Pepper sat around talking. Steve was playing with the kids in the living room. 

"Wanda!" Lila yelled out as she ran over to jump onto me. I was weak and tried to hold her but fell into Nat instead, quickly but gently setting Lila down before I dropped her. Nat's hands steadied me as Lila looked confused but thankfully, Pepper saved the day as she swung Lila into her arms.

Lila giggled as Pepper carried her back into the living room where Cooper was emerging. He came over to me and hugged me but luckily didn't jump. I hugged him back, smiling as I felt his warm embrace, before Nat guided me to a chair. 

I found that I couldn't meet Clint or Laura's eyes. I couldn't look at them after I had destroyed part of their home and hurt Clint. 

"How're you doing?" I heard Clint ask me. 

"Good," I mumbled, looking down at my hands while I responded. 

He and Laura conversed with Tony, Pepper, Steve, and Nat while I sat there, not responding. They mainly talked about summer plans, how the company was going, and other small talk topics, not going near anything about the mission or what had happened earlier.

The kids were called back into the kitchen while Laura grabbed Nate. They sat down around the table while dinner was served. I didn't have an appetite though. I found my gaze floating back to the wall. All I could see was Clint going flying back into the wall, my red powers surrounding his body, forcing him to go crashing into the drywall, his body falling to the ground.

"Wanda," I heard and I realized that everyone was staring at me, the room going silent, the only sound being Nate's occasional babble. 

"Yeah, sorry," I quickly said, looking at Nat. Everyone quickly went back to light conversation while Nat looked at me with a concerned look on her face.

"You've got to eat something hun," she told me and I nodded, putting a spoonful of mashed potatoes into my mouth. They didn't have much flavor and they made me nauseous but I managed to swallow them, shooting a small smile at Nat. In response, she tucked some hair behind my ear before joining back in on the conversation. 

I went back to looking at the wall, getting sucked back into mini flashbacks of what had happened before I passed out. Throwing Clint into a wall, feeling my skin burn from releasing my powers, feeling utter panic and despair, the pain in my leg as I ran, falling to the ground, my entire body shaking, hearing that Nat was fine but barely believing it, finally stopping my powers, expecting to be killed, kicked out, or send back to HYDRA, and then finally welcoming the black embrace of unconsciousness. 

I got pulled back when a warm hand gently touched my back. I looked up, the flashbacks disappearing, and saw the kids gone, Laura gone, Tony and Pepper gone, leaving just Clint, Steve, Nat, and me. I had only eaten one bite of potatoes, the rest of my food sitting untouched on my plate. 

"Where is everybody?" I asked Nat quietly, wanting desperately to get the attention off of me. 

"Laura's putting the kids to bed and Tony and Pepper went upstairs," she gently explained. I could feel a conversation coming on and I definitely didn't want that.

Steve cleared his throat lightly before getting up to leave. Now it was just Clint, Nat, and me, something that meant that this conversation was coming sooner rather than later. 

"I'm tired, sorry I didn't eat," I told her, standing up to leave. She placed a hand on my arm though, stopping me.

"Sit down sweetie," she told me gently. 

"I'm not super hungry, I'm sorry for wasting food," I continued, wanting to get out of this situation quickly. "I can put it in a container and I'll eat it later," I tried.

"It's okay, we can try something else, just hold on," she told me.

"We just want to talk Wanda," I heard Clint say. I glanced in his direction but quickly looked back at Nat, my eyes begging her to just let me go back upstairs. She looked at me with sympathy but didn't let me leave, keeping her hand on my arm to keep me in my chair. 

Laura returned, sitting down next to Clint. I noticed that my plate was the only one still on the table, meaning that everyone else had cleaned up while I was still stuck in a flashback. 

"I don't want to do this," I said, standing up and moving towards the stairs.

"Hey," Nat said, coming to stop me. She put her hands on my shoulders as she looked at me. "Calm down, deep breaths Wanda. We are just going to have a quick conversation okay? No one is mad and you aren't in trouble." I nodded but still really didn't want to. "Once we're done, we can go back upstairs," she told me and I sighed, knowing I wasn't going to get out of this. 

I let her lead me into the living room this time. Apparently they had decided that this conversation would be better in the living room than the kitchen but I didn't complain as it meant I could be closer to Nat. 

Clint and Laura were sitting on one of the couches and Nat and I sat on the other one. I sat tucked into Nat's side while Clint and Laura leaned forward so that they could see my face from their spot in the living room.

"Wanda," Laura started gently. "We aren't mad at you honey, we just want to talk to you about earlier. Can you look at me?" she asked and I let my eyes wander to her eyes, quickly removing them when I saw her gentle expression. I couldn't look at her, I would start crying again and then I probably wouldn't stop. I also couldn't look at Clint, I had hurt him, if I looked at her, that meant I would have to look at him. 

"Wanda," Nat said softly. "No one is mad, I promise, can you look at Laura?" I didn't want to ignore her so I brought my eyes up to meet Laura. I felt tears fill my eyes as I looked at her. I loved Laura so much and I may have ruined our relationship by losing control of my powers.

"Sweetie, can you tell us what happened earlier?" she started and I was slightly surprised she jumped in that quickly. 

I shook my head, I really didn't want to say anything.

"How about we start with when you took my phone?" Clint spoke for the first time since we sat down and I felt my heart rate spike. "I'm not mad, let's just walk through what happened. When did you take it?"

I still hadn't met his eyes the entire time, instead choosing to look at my hands.

"It was on the counter, you and Laura had left," I told him quickly and shortly.

"Okay, what did you do once you found it?"

"I took it upstairs. I logged in and found that Nat hadn't texted you."

"What did you think when you saw that I hadn't been texting Clint?" Nat stepped in.

"Sad, angry, panicky," I told her. "I thought you were dead," I whispered, looking at her while trying to keep my tears at bay. She squeezed my good hand comfortingly as Clint spoke again.

"I'm sorry for lying to you kiddo," he said. "I thought that it would save you some panic but I know I was wrong. I should have told you the truth, then none of this would have happened." I felt more tears pool in my eyes at his apology. I never would have hurt him or destroyed the house were the unspoken words in his apology. 

"I'm sorry I hurt you," I said, tears falling down over my cheeks. "I didn't mean to, I was scared and confused, I'm sorry and I understand if you're done with me." Nat squeezed my hand and arm but I felt the couch indent next to me, Clint had moved. I didn't want to look at him but Nat moved away from me slightly so I was forced to look at him. I kept my eyes down instead of looking at his face.

"Wanda," he said, his tone extremely gentle and soft, almost as if he was afraid I would break if he was any louder or rougher. "I am not mad at you kiddo. I never was mad at you, I was worried."

"But I hurt you," I choked out, keeping my eyes down as I fidgeted with my hands. 

"Kiddo," he breathed out as he gently placed one of his hands over mine. "I hurt you first by lying and I'm sorry." My body shook with a sob as I tried to curl into myself. 

"What if I hurt one of your kids?" I questioned, tears falling as I finally looked up at him. That thought had been gnawing at the back of my mind this entire time. 

"Wanda, you wouldn't have," he said, his voice confident. "You love them and I know that you would never hurt them."

"But I love you and I hurt you," I told him through sobs as I crossed my arms over my stomach to try to block myself out of the world. 

"C'mere," I heard him mumble before I felt his arms wrapping around me, pulling me into him. I tensed and resisted at first but I quickly melted into his embrace. I had been scared that he would have hated me and never want to talk to me again so this was a big win. 

"I'm so sorry," I cried into him, forgetting for a second that Nat and Laura were still in the room. 

"It's okay honey, I've got you," he mumbled and it reminded me of what Nat would tell me when she was comforting me. I briefly wondered if that's where she got it from but didn't think too much on it as I held onto Clint, letting the worry disappear, relief filling its place. 

Eventually, after an embarrassing amount of time crying into Clint, I pulled away, wiping my face as I tried to stop crying completely. 

I thought I would be fine and be able to calm down but when I saw the wall again, more worry filled my stomach. I knew that they weren't mad but something about that wall made me feel absolutely horrible. Clint followed my gaze at the wall and then stood up, moving his body slightly to cover the wall and allow my eyes to fall on him instead.

"I'm sorry," I mumbled.

"Wanda," Clint started but Laura cut in.

"Sweetie, look at me," she said and there was a slightly firm edge to her voice. It was mostly gentle though but it did get me to look at her. "We aren't mad at you and we will tell you that as many times as you need," she continued, making me feel slightly better.

"What if that had been Lila or Cooper thrown into the wall?" I asked, losing my composure once again. I loved the entire Barton family but the kids held a special place in my heart and I would never be able to live with myself if I had hurt them.

I heard some sharp intakes of breath as Nat moved closer to me once again to rub my back. This time, Laura moved in front of me, gently gripping my chin so that I was forced to look at her.

"Wanda Maximoff, you have to stop beating yourself up," she said in a motherly tone. Nat's hand continued to rub circles on my back but my entire attention was on Laura right now. "I understand that what happened was scary but I already know that you've punished yourself enough. Everything was fine, Clint is okay, the kids are okay, I'm okay, everything is okay, got it?" she asked and I nodded as much as I could with her hold on my chin. She let go but I kept looking at her. 

"We love you, nothing you do will ever change that, okay?" I nodded, letting out another sob as I tried to wipe my tears away only for them to be replaced with new ones. "The kids absolutely adore you Wanda, and you didn't hurt them. We can go over the what-ifs all day but it wasn't them, you were scared and acted accordingly. Besides, I already know that you will work on power control when you go back to the compound. Please forgive yourself though Wanda, I don't want you beating yourself up anymore okay?"

"Okay Laura," I sniffed, still feeling bad but trying to get over it. 

She didn't say anything but pulled me into her. I felt Nat's hand leave my back but I knew she was just backing up so that Laura could hug me instead. Again, I melted into her embrace, so glad to hear that none of them were mad at me even after what I did. I would just have to refrain from looking at the wall until we left.

I pulled away from Laura after about a minute, leaning back into Nat. Although I enjoyed hugs from Laura and Clint, nothing would ever replace Nat's comfort. 

Nat wrapped an arm around me and I was content to just go to bed but Nat said, "You've still gotta eat sweetie." I wasn't happy about eating but I also didn't want to argue because I was so glad she was home so I nodded, slowly getting up off of the couch. 

Laura and Clint went upstairs while Steve came back downstairs, seeing that we had finished our conversation.

I didn't think my stomach could handle the dinner so Nat gave me a bowl of grapes and a piece of buttered toast. I really didn't want anything but this would be the easiest thing for my stomach so I didn't complain as I quickly finished all of the food.

"We're leaving first thing tomorrow so make sure you get some sleep," Steve told us and he looked tired. It was only then that I realized that he had also been on the mission with Nat.

I felt the need to apologize to him for forcing him to go on the mission so before he left again, I took a deep breath and said, "Hey Steve." I then paused a second for him to look at me. "I'm sorry for making you go on the mission, I know it was because of me an-"

"Wanda," Nat cut in, no doubt to stop me from apologizing about something that she thought wasn't my fault but I needed to do this.

"I need to do this," I told her, showing her that I wasn't going to feel better until I apologized, regardless of whether or not it was my fault. I turned back to Steve and continued. "I know what the mission was about and I'm sorry that you had to go. I hope you didn't get hurt, or at least not too bad, and I'm really sorry that my actions placed you in that horrible position."

"Wanda, the mission was not just because of you," he told me softly. "Nat and I would have needed to go on the mission anyway. I didn't get hurt too badly and even if I had been, it would never have been your fault, okay?" I nodded, wanting to apologize more but feeling content with my small apology. 

"Thank you Steve," I told him, shooting a small smile in his direction. 

"No problem Wanda," he told me.

"Go ahead and get to bed Wands," Nat told me. "I'll be right up." I knew better than to argue and said goodnight to Steve before heading upstairs. I paused on the stairs and I thought I heard something about Fury being mad but I just had to hope it either wasn't about me or that I misheard. I wanted to keep listening but I knew that I would get into trouble if Nat caught me eavesdropping so I continued my way up the stairs, getting into bed to wait for Nat.

She arrived a couple of minutes later and looked stressed but plastered a smile onto her face when she saw me.

"You okay mama?" I asked her, lying back against the pillows as I watched her.

"Yeah, I'm okay baby, just tired," she said as she got into bed next to me. I curled into her, enjoying the fact that she was home. In fact, I enjoyed it so much that I didn't even fight sleep, trusting her to help me deal with my nightmares when they inevitably came in a few hours. 

I drifted off to sleep enjoying the feeling of Nat's fingers carding through my hair, overcome by happiness at the fact that she was finally home with me.