Better Days

NATASHA POV:

Wanda woke up once in the middle of the night due to a nightmare but other than that, she slept soundly. The more I thought about it, the happier I was that she had made the decision not to go back to school. I had initially wanted her to get some experience with other kids but I think her old group of friends gave her enough experience for a lifetime.

The next morning was nice. Wanda worked on moving around herself using the crutch and she did phenomenal. She could move around our entire floor without any help and I couldn't be prouder. She had even started spending more time around the team. 

Tony had come down to check on her recovery and see if there was anything he could help with to make her more comfortable. She wasn't completely comfortable around him but she didn't flinch every time he moved which was nice. After he left though, I did notice that there was a damper on her mood.

"Hey," I started after he had left. "How did that go? How'd you feel around him?"

I thought it was a pretty harmless question. I figured she'd answer it quickly and then move to another topic. Instead, she got angry. "It was fine! Oh my gosh Natasha! Do you need to ask me anytime I'm around anybody?"

I was so surprised I didn't say anything at first. I replayed the conversation, seeing if there was anything that I had said that upset her. I also noted that she called me 'Natasha,' something she usually only calls me when she's mad.

"Watch it," I warned quietly. "I just asked you a simple question, there was no need for that reaction."

"Oh my gosh," she huffed, rolling her eyes.

"Wanda," I snapped. Why was she acting like this? "What is going on with you?"

"Nothing," she snapped back.

"Nuh uh," I told her. "You need to watch your attitude and you do not snap at me. Tell me what is going on right now or you can stand in the corner and then tell me."

"Something doesn't have to be going on with me every minute of every day!" That's it.

"Corner," I told her. 

"No!" she shouted as she crossed her arms as best as she could with her crutch.

"Now, don't make me put you there, trust me, you won't like it," I told her, deep curiosity burning inside of me. She doesn't just act like this. She made no effort to move so I walked over calmly, putting my hand on her back as I gently pushed her towards the corner. I couldn't be too rough as she was on crutches.

"Hey!" she shouted, turning around sharply. This caused her to lose her balance with the one crutch, causing her to go crashing to the ground. Her recently healed leg bent sharply, causing her to yelp.

"You okay?" I asked, kneeling down in front of her. 

Tears were falling down her cheeks but she was pushing them away quickly, sniffling harshly. "Get away from me!" she screamed. I backed up slightly, wondering if she was in a flashback.

"Can I look at your leg?" I asked gently, keeping my tone calm and soft. She shook her head, pulling it to her chest. It wasn't broken but the braces made it so that it could only bend so far, just to build back up muscle, and it had gone past that point, breaking one of the braces. "Does it still hurt?" I asked to which she ignored me. "Wanda, I need you to communicate with me so I can help you."

"You bitch!" she shouted before quickly pushing off of the ground and crutching to her room. I was stunned, what the hell was wrong with her? There was obviously something wrong but I didn't know what it was.

I debated following her or letting her cool off. I decided on the latter as I went to the gym to cool down myself.

Steve was there, punching one of his special bags. "Hey Nat, where's Wanda?" he asked. I hadn't left her side since the recovery.

"In her room being a brat," I replied.

"What's going on?"

"I don't know," I said, wrapping my wrists to start punching. "She was fine until I asked her how she dealt with Tony being in the room. She freaked out on me, screaming at me saying that nothing was wrong. Then, when I tried to get her to stand in the corner, she turned, losing her balance and falling. She tweaked her leg a bit and when I tried to check on her, she called me a bitch before heading to her room. I don't know what I did," I answered honestly. I needed someone to talk to because she hadn't acted like this since before the kidnapping.

"Wow," he replied. "Did anything happen with Tony?"

"Not that I know of," I told him. "He just checked on her leg to make sure it was recovering correctly and then left. Nothing else really happened."

"I don't know Nat, that's not like her."

"Yeah, I know. I wish I knew what was going on so I could help her."

"Maybe talk to Sam, he may know more?"

"Yeah," I sighed. "I'll try that." I decided that finding out what was wrong with my girl was more important than cooling down myself so I left the room after telling Steve a quick thanks.

I made my way to Sam's office after FRIDAY told me that's where he was. 

As soon as I got there, I knocked, waiting impatiently for him to let me in. 

"Hey Nat, is everything okay?" he asked as he saw my frantic expression.

"Yeah, something is off about Wanda though."

"Is she okay?" he asked, starting to go find her. 

"I think so," I said, grabbing his arm to show him that he doesn't need to go find her. He instead walked back into his office, sitting on the couch. I joined him, telling him everything that had happened this morning and her reaction. He too asked me if anything had happened while Tony was there and I said not that I knew of.

"Okay, I have a few ideas. Either something happened while Tony was there that freaked her out, causing her to act this way, or she's starting to feel better which means that her body is going to focus on mental recovery. We knew this would happen but I figured it would result in sadness, not anger, people process differently though. She went through a major trauma, being kidnapped and tortured causes a significant effect on the body, especially mentally. She will get through it but her emotions will be all over the place as she recovers. She is fighting against the trauma, trying to ignore the fact that she went through a traumatic event. Now that her body is almost completely healed physically, her brain is going to try to recover but she doesn't want to, that's where the anger comes from."

"Oh," I sighed, wishing I had picked up on that earlier, before I tried to punish her. "What do I do to help her?"

"There's not much you can do, she has to decide to go through it, you can't force it. Right now, being there for her and having patience is important. You can try to push her slightly, if you get her close enough to the edge, she'll break down, possibly opening up and kick starting her recovery. It can just cause her emotional trauma though, that's why this is so hard. She'll be okay though Nat, just be there for her. I can try talking to her too."

"That would be good," I replied. "Do you think you could try later today?"

"Yeah, I can do that. Just let me know when you think she's ready. Do you want me to go with you to check on her and talk with her or do you want to try by yourself first?"

"I'll try by myself first. I don't want her to be too overwhelmed. Thanks Sam."

"No problem."

I left his office and headed straight to our room. I knocked first, wanting to warn her that I was coming in.

"Go away," I heard her angry voice say. Well that wasn't an option. I opened the door but was surprised when the door slammed in my face. There were red wisps still covering the door and I had to take some deep breaths, knowing that she was going through some serious emotional pain. If she wasn't, she would've already been over my knee as we had this talk. 

"Wanda, I just want to talk," I told her as gently as possible. My firm side was pushing through but I tried to stay calm.

"I don't want to talk," she replied from inside. 

"Fine, but I need to check your leg, then I'll leave."

She didn't reply but I pushed into the room before she could stop me. I saw a small ball of red surrounding her hands. "Don't you dare," I told her firmly. She knew that using her powers on me was not allowed. Fortunately, she listened and the red ball dissipated.

"What is going on with you?" I asked, anger getting the best of me.

"You said we weren't going to talk." I nodded, dropping my earlier question as I slowly walked to the bottom of the bed. She had taken the braces off and was sitting against the head of the bed. I crawled onto the end of the bed and moved up the bed until I was at her leg.

"How's it feel? Are you hurt?" I asked.

"I'm fine," she replied, crossing her arms as she watched me check her leg. I gently rolled it over in my hand, checking to see if there was any damage. Besides the bruising from where it hit the floor, it was fine. 

"Can we talk about what happened earlier?" I asked gently as I sat on the edge of the bed. "I'm not angry, I just want to know what's going on."

"No, nothing happened, I'm fine." 

"You called me a bitch Wanda," I said calmly and I watched her flinch.

"Sorry," she mumbled.

"I wanted to come in here as soon as you ran off and punish you but I went to talk to Sam instead." That made her look at me. 

"What did you say?" She sounded nervous.

"Nothing much," I said, showing her what it felt like. I knew it was childish but her saying 'nothing' to everything was getting annoying. 

"Nat," she whined.

"I told him about what happened this morning and we talked about what to do."

"You can't tell him that!" she told me, getting angrier. 

"Yes I can Wanda, you don't get to control what I tell him. You threw a temper tantrum this morning, so I talked to him about it."

"Whatever," she huffed, looking away from me.

"Wanda, tell me what's going on," I basically pleaded with her as I set a hand on her leg. She immediately shoved my hand off with her good hand and it took some willpower not to snap at her.

"Nothing is going on," she grit out through clenched teeth. "I'm fine!"

"Okay, fine Wanda, you don't have to tell me what's going on but you have another appointment with Sam this afternoon." Her attitude was starting to piss me off again.

"I'm not talking to him," she protested.

"Yes you are, this is not up for discussion."

"I'll sit there but I'm not talking."

"He will stay for as long as it takes for you to talk. Something is going on and since you don't want to talk to me about it, you can talk to Sam about it." I could see her getting angrier and angrier.

"I don't want to talk to him." She had climbed out of bed at this point, using the edge of the bed to steady herself instead of her crutches.

"Well that's too bad sweetie because you're talking to him whether you want to or not," I told her matter-of-factly. Apparently that's what pushed her over the edge. Her power came back and it flowed through the air, shoving books off the shelf, messing up the bed, and throwing all of the items around the room. Fortunately for her, she made sure not to touch me at all, only touching the items in the room.

I let her finish throwing her temper tantrum, knowing now to say anything while she was in the middle of using her powers, and then, once it was all over, I said, "Since you decided to throw a temper tantrum, you can clean this all up. Sam will be here in 2 hours and it better be clean by then." 

She glared at me. "Get out," she spoke calmly. I decided to leave, knowing my presence was only pissing her off. As soon as I closed the door, I heard her burst into tears. I felt bad but I wasn't going to tell her she didn't have to clean. Yes, she had gone through a traumatic experience, but that didn't give her the right to destroy her room and give me an attitude.

I sighed, I felt like a monster and had to fight against every urge to run into her room to pick her up and comfort her. I moved away from the door, heading to Tony to get a new brace since he was the one who designed the first one for her.

WANDA POV:

Natasha was pissing me off. Everything she said seemed like a direct target to me. I didn't know why I was so angry. I was starting to feel better. With that though came more and more memories of the kidnapping. I kept pushing them away, not ready to remember everything that happened.

I had just "thrown a temper tantrum" as Nat called it and she is making me clean up the entire room. Her smug face made me even angrier. She left the room and I couldn't contain my emotions anymore.

Tears flowed down my cheeks as I sat on the edge of the bed, trying to breathe. I put my hands on my knees, taking heavy breaths as my head hung down. I was emotionally tired and I didn't want to fight the emotions anymore. I wanted Nat but there was no way she was going to come in and comfort me now, I had ruined that.

I could feel my breathing getting more erratic and I couldn't calm it down no matter how hard I tried.

Someone gently knocked on my door but could barely hear it through my panic. The door opened and I turned around, hoping it was Nat. It wasn't. Steve stood there, looking at me, watching me as he tried to decide what to do. I was more comfortable with him in the room than I thought, I think it was due to my panicky state where I wanted absolutely anyone to comfort me. 

"Are you okay?" he asked, seeming almost uncomfortable. I didn't respond so he followed up with, "Do you want me to get Nat?" I shook my head, not wanting to upset Nat given the state of my room. I hadn't cleaned it at all. I noticed his eyes glance around the room, looking at the mess my powers made.

It looked as if he was deciding what to do. He took a step into the room, gently closing the door behind him. I felt my heart pick up a bit, knowing that we were alone in this room, but I kept reminding myself that Steve would never do that. He was good, he wouldn't do that.

"Can I come closer?" he asked.

I was shaking but I nodded. He came to the other side of the bed and sat down. He was still an entire bed length away so I felt a bit more comfortable.

"Are you in pain?" My leg was throbbing from the fall earlier but I shook my head, not wanting to say anything. I tried calming down but the more I tried, the harder I cried, causing me to have problems breathing. I was gasping for air between my sobs as I focused on the wall.

I felt a hand on my back and I jumped slightly, turning to see Steve now sitting next to me. I had forgotten that he was even in the room with me due to my panic. 

"I can't breathe Steve," I cried.

"You're okay," he said. "If you can talk, you can breathe."

"But I can't!" I cried, pulling the neck of my shirt away from my throat.

He gently grabbed my hand, pulling it down. "Deep breaths Wanda," he told me as he pulled me into a hug. He wrapped his arms around me and I managed not to panic. For the first minute or so, I was very uncomfortable, trying to tell myself that Steve was good, but as time went on, I realized that I didn't mind this. I missed Steve's hugs. I hadn't gotten too many in my time here but the ones that I had had always brought me comfort.

I cried into his chest, trying to calm down. His hug managed to calm me down much faster and I pulled away slightly. "Sorry," I mumbled, wiping my eyes.

"It's okay," he said. "Are you okay?" I nodded.

"Nat hates me," I said, tears popping back up in my eyes.

"No she doesn't, I promise you, she could never hate you."

"But I called her a bitch and I yelled at her."

"That wasn't right and in my day, my mother would've put me right over her knee, but that doesn't mean Nat hates you. Yes, she may be hurt by it but she loves you so much Wanda."

"I feel so bad."

"Apologize, that's the best you can do right now. Can I ask you why you called her that?"

"I don't know," I said as a few more tears slipped down my cheeks. "I was just getting so angry." 

"Anger isn't a reason to call people names."

"I know, I'm sorry Steve."

"I'm not the one you should be saying sorry to."

"I know, I'll tell her sorry, but she'll be mad if I call her in here before I clean my room."

"Do you need help?"

"No, I need to do it by myself. I was the one who made the mess, I need to clean it." I gently pushed myself off of the bed, grabbing my crutch to help me move. My leg was aching but that wasn't an excuse. It was healed, it was only muscle pain.

"Are you sure?" he asked. 

I nodded as I started putting the books back on the shelf. He didn't question me how or why I made the mess but instead stayed with me as I cleaned it up. He neatened the bed, saying that he wasn't actually cleaning, he was just "tidying up." I laughed but let him continue, my leg hurt so bad, I didn't exactly want to be moving around.

We both finished quickly and I sat back on the bed, thanking Steve.

"No problem kiddo, are you sure you're okay?" I nodded, thanking him once again. 

He left reluctantly, after looking around the room one more time.

I lied back, relaxing on the bed as I tried to stay calm. I knew I needed to go apologize to Nat but I didn't feel ready. I still couldn't shake the feeling that she hated me, even if Steve said she could never hate me. 

Some time passed and another soft knock came from my door. "Come in," I called out, hoping it wasn't Sam. I wasn't ready yet.

Nat's head popped into the room and I felt a wave of relief come over me, even if it was slightly filled with guilt and panic.

"I heard you had a bit of a rough time after I left." Damn it Steve. "How're you feeling now?"

"Fine," I spoke softly. 

She paused, studying me for a moment before she said, "Thank you for cleaning the room."

"Steve helped," I admitted. "I told him I needed to do it by myself but he did it anyway. I'm sorry. I can redo it."

"No Wanda, it's okay, he can help, thank you for trying to take initiative though. How's your leg?"

"It's good, feels normal," I lied.

"Good, Tony is making a new brace now, he should be done this afternoon at the latest."

"Sorry for this morning mama," I apologized sheepishly.

She got onto the bed, moving to where I was as she hugged me. "It's okay, I know you're going through some stuff right now. I would be angry too if I went through what you went through."

I figured she was talking about my kidnapping but I hadn't really been going through anything in my opinion.

"I haven't been going through anything," I told her, confused. I didn't want her to be making excuses for me, I shouldn't have been rude.

"Sweet girl, you don't have to pretend. You went through a lot these last few weeks, not to mention your entire past."

I didn't want to go down this road so I stopped pushing, just agreeing with her to try to make this conversation end. 

"Do I really have to talk to Sam?" I asked, not at all excited for our upcoming talk.

"Yes Wanda, I know you don't want to but we need to get you through this trauma. You can't ignore it forever."

"I'm not ignoring it," I told her, getting angry again.

"Wanda," she warned and I stopped, mumbling an apology. "You are ignoring it but I don't blame you. I've ignored a lot about my past too and it took me a long time to finally talk about it. Trust me though, you'll be happy once you do."

"I'm already happy," I protested, not wanting her to think that I was sad all the time.

"You know what I mean. You'll be happier, lighter, I know, I've been through it. You've been doing a little better with sleeping but you're still having at least one nightmare each night."

"But I sleep after them!" 

"Stop shouting," she snapped at me. "I know you sleep after them but you need to stop having them altogether or at least limit the number of nightmares you have each week."

"It's not like I try to have them," I mumbled under my breath.

"I know Wanda," she sighed, sounding annoyed. "That's not what I'm saying and you know it. I thought I told you earlier this wasn't up for discussion. I'm done arguing with you over therapy. You'll see Sam frequently until he thinks that you are doing better and the nightmares are limited."

"What?" I questioned, not knowing that this was the deal. "That could take months! Nightmares don't just stop!"

"Well then it will take months. And the nightmares don't have to completely stop, I just want to see improvements in how often you have them. If you have 2 a week, I'll be happy. I just don't want them nightly anymore, or worse, several times a night."

"That's stupid," I told her, crossing my arms as I moved away from her side. I was pissed that she was going to force me to talk to Sam until my nightmares stopped. I had been having nightmares since I was 10, when my parents first died. They had become a nightly occurrence a few months after that and then they got worse after HYDRA's involvement with Pietro and I, then again after Pietro's death, and once again after the kidnapping. They weren't just going to stop overnight. It would take me months.

"I know you don't like it Wanda, but try, please, for me?"

"I don't know why my nightmares need to stop. This is ridiculous. I've been having them for years, they aren't just going to stop because I talk about my feelings a couple of times."

"That's not all that therapy can do. Sam may find that you need a medication to sleep better."

"I'm not taking a medication," I interrupted.

"Okay," she sighed. "Therapy can do more than just let you talk about your feelings though. Talking about nightmares does help though. You have people here to help support you, use them."

"I don't need therapy."

"We're done talking about that, it's happening."

"You can't force me to talk to someone who I don't want to talk to. Then you're not any better than the guys who forced me to have sex with them." I knew as soon as I said it that I had gone too far. I heard Nat gasp as she jerked like she had just been slapped.

"Wanda," she said quietly, sounding almost like she was in tears.

"I'm sorry," I told her quickly. "I didn't mean it." But the words had already been said. I just compared her to rapists. She climbed out of the bed, heading for the door.

"Mama, stop, I'm sorry, please!"

"Sam will be here in a few minutes, talk to him please," she told me before she left. I felt tears fill my eyes. I had messed up. It wasn't Nat's fault that I had been raped, I knew that if she could've stopped it, she would've.

I climbed out of bed, grabbing my crutches, as I walked out of my room. I crutched down the hallway, trying to find Nat. I ran into Sam on my way to find her. 

"Hey Wanda, are you okay?" My eyes were filled with tears and I was wandering aimlessly through the compound so he probably thought something was wrong.

"Yeah," I replied. "I just have to find Nat real quick, I'll be right back."

I didn't wait for a response as I continued my search for her, picking up the pace as fast as I could on my weak leg.

"FRIDAY, where's Nat?" I asked aloud when I had been unsuccessful at finding her.

"She's not currently in the compound."

"What?" I questioned, coming to a stop. She had left me? My breathing started picking up. I didn't know what to do.

I started heading to the door of the compound, full on sobbing and in the middle of a panic attack but I was ready to go look for Nat when I ran into Tony. He was carrying my new brace. 

"Woah, slow down," he told me before he saw the tears and heard my strained breathing. He set the brace down and looked at me, grabbing my arm to help me stay standing. "Are you okay little red?" he asked me, sounding worried.

I shook my head. "Nat's gone," I choked out. "She left." 

"What? FRIDAY, where's Natasha?"

"She left the compound 7 minutes ago."

"Do you know where she's going?"

"No boss." I heard him cuss under his breath as he turned his attention back to me. 

"Hey, calm down, I'm sure she'll be back." He gripped both of my shoulders, trying to get me to calm down. "Let's sit down," he told me as he moved me to a chair. I still felt like I couldn't breathe. I had made Nat so angry she left. I didn't think I could do anything worse than drugging her, which we had finally gotten over but apparently comparing her to a rapist is what angers her even more.

I tried to take some deep breaths as I felt Tony's hand on my back. "Shh, calm down, deep breaths, I just texted Nat. She'll be back." What I didn't know was he tried to call her but she hadn't picked up.

Tears kept falling at a fast rate as I struggled to breathe. "Tony," I gasped between sobs.

"Yes?" he asked, immediately putting his hand back on my upper arm.

"I said something bad to Nat, she's angry at me, that's why she's gone."

"What'd you say?"

"I compared her to the guys who kidnapped me," I told him. I couldn't bring myself to say rapists.

"What?" he said with a raised tone. Not sounding angry but sounding surprised.

"I'm sorry!" I said as I started to cry harder. "I didn't mean to!"

"Hey, shh," he told me as he rubbed my back and arm. "You're okay, Nat will be back soon, I know it. Hey, I have an idea, maybe Pepper knows where Nat went, I could text her and ask her to come down?" I nodded, wanting the comfort Pepper brought me when Nat wasn't here.

I heard him call Pepper. I thought he was just going to text her but apparently he decided calling was better. It was a fast call but I heard him give her our location so I assumed she was coming here.

Within 3 minutes, Pepper had joined us. "Oh baby," she said as soon as she saw me. She pulled me into a hug, crouching down in front of where I was sitting. "You're okay," she told me over and over again. "I've got you."

"Do you know where Nat went?" I asked her.

"I don't but I'm sure she'll be back soon. She probably went out to get something."

"But I did something bad," I cried into her shoulder, wrapping my hands around her neck. 

"It doesn't matter what you did Wanda, she'll be back." At first, I thought I might have been suffering from separation anxiety again but then I realized this was different. With separation anxiety, I couldn't be without her, even if she gave me a logical explanation for why she would be gone. This time, she hadn't told me where she was going and left right after a fight. There was a chance she wasn't coming back and that terrified me, I couldn't survive without her. That line of thought made my sobs even harder. I now could barely breathe.

"Shh Wanda, it's okay honey," I heard Pepper shushing me as she held me. I could feel my body shaking in her embrace. I felt Pepper lifting my body up and I gripped on tighter, not wanting her to leave me too. My feet stayed on the ground but I felt her pivot as she was now sitting on the chair, my body in her lap. This was a lot more comfortable for both of us.

"Boss?" I heard FRIDAY say through my cries. "Mr. Wilson is asking for Wanda's location, may I give it to him?"

I heard Tony respond with his confirmation as I continued to cry into Pepper. "I want Nat, tell her I'm sorry," I told her. "Please."

"Shh," Pepper kept repeating. I felt Tony's hand rubbing my back as well. He was calling Nat over and over again but she never picked up. 

"What's going on?" I heard Sam's voice say a few minutes later. 

"Nat's gone and she's freaking out," Tony replied. 

"I just saw her a few minutes ago."

"Nat?"

"No, Wanda, she was fine. Where'd Natasha go?"

"We don't know, we're trying to find out."

I continued to cry into Pepper, barely paying attention to the conversation going on. She continued to shush me as she rocked me slightly, rubbing my back the entire time. Tony's hand was gone now though.

"Hey Wanda," I heard Sam say softly as Tony's hand was placed back on my back. "What's going on?"

"I said something bad to Nat and then she left!" I cried out, barely able to finish the sentence.

"What did you say to her?"

"I told her she was as bad as the guys who kidnapped me." Pepper's hand froze on my back for a second which made me cry even harder, if it was even possible. "I'm so sorry!" I cried as I gripped onto Pepper's shirt, making sure she couldn't pull me off. "I'm so sorry, I didn't mean it, I'm sorry."

"Calm down, I need you to take some deep breaths for me Wanda," Sam told me.

"But Nat left, she's not coming home because of me! I didn't mean to say it, I apologized but it was too late." It took me several seconds to get the full sentence out due to the force of my cries. "I'm so sorry, can you tell her I'm sorry? Please, I don't want her to leave!" I sobbed. I was imagining life without her and felt suicidal. I hadn't felt this way in a while but there was no way I was living without Nat. I had messed up even worse than the drugging.

"Hey, shh, calm down, work on some deep breaths."

"Nat will come back," Tony told me. "She loves you so much, I promise little witch." He squeezed my shoulder lightly before it went back to rubbing my back. I tried taking deep breaths but it wasn't working too well.

"Boss?" FRIDAY interrupted.

"What FRIDAY?"

"Ms. Romanoff has just entered the compound."