Better Days

NATASHA POV:

As soon as I walked in the house, FRIDAY was informing me that the team was in dire need of me. I was confused but as I got closer and Wanda's cries became louder, the need became clear.

Wanda was sobbing in Pepper's lap while the majority of the team was crowded around them, doing whatever they could to console her. 

"What's going on?" I asked as I rushed to Wanda, rubbing her back. Pepper glared at me and I was confused. What did I do?

"I don't know?" Tony yelled. "Why don't you tell us what's going on? Tell us why you decided to leave your daughter like this?" He sounded pissed and I knew I messed up when Wanda didn't even look at me and instead stayed glued to Pepper.

"What?" I questioned again, feeling dumb but not knowing what was going on. I had left to go for a walk to the lake and then come back, just to clear my head. I hadn't even thought of what Wanda would think. I didn't think she would've even noticed me being gone since she had her appointment with Sam. I know I had left a little heatedly but Sam would work through it with her.

"I'm sorry! Please don't hate me," I heard Wanda cry from Pepper's lap. 

Ignoring all of the glares that I got from the team, I moved closer to Wanda, crouching in front of her so she could see my face. She tried to turn her head to the other side of Pepper but I caught her eyes and said, "Wanda, look at me baby." She stayed looking at me, tears still streaming down her face. "I could never hate you. I'm sorry I left, I just went for a walk to clear my head. I didn't think you were going to know that I left because I knew Sam was coming to get you. I planned to be back way before you finished with Sam. I'm so sorry baby, I never would have left if I knew that you were going to be upset."

"But what about what I said?" she questioned worriedly.

"I'll be honest, I was hurt by what you said but Wanda, I know you didn't mean it and it was said out of anger. We can work on that later but for right now, I want you to get better sweetie, I could never hate you, never, no matter what you say."

She turned to face me, tears continuing to fall but I could see hope in her eyes. "Are you sure?" she asked and her quivering tone made my heart break.

"I'm 100% sure baby," I told her, opening my arms for a hug. I was filled with relief when she quickly leaned into my arms, climbing off of Pepper's lap. "I love you honey," I whispered to her, rubbing her back as I held her close. I had promised myself that I wouldn't leave her or make her feel unwanted after she had left and gotten kidnapped but I had already messed that up. I felt guilt settling into my stomach. 

Tony and Pepper were glaring at me the hardest and I felt absolutely horrible. I slowly lifted her to a standing position so I could hug her better. She kept her face buried in my shoulder, crying silently, the only sign of her sobs were the occasional gasp for breath and her shaking shoulders. 

"How about we go to another room?" Sam suggested, placing a hand on Wanda's back. I nodded, whispering in Wanda's ear that we were going to go. She stayed tucked into my side as I walked down the hall to the living room on the floor. I had to support her greatly as we moved through the hallway due to her mental state and the fact that she didn't have her crutch.

We sat on the couch, her staying curled into me as Sam sat next to us. "Want to tell me what's going on in your head right now Wanda?" he asked gently.

She shook her head. "Please Wanda," I coaxed gently. "It may make you feel better."

"I thought Nat left forever because of me," she told Sam quietly, voice hitching.

"Why did you think that?" he continued. I wanted to interrupt so badly and tell her that I would never leave her but she was talking, if I interrupted there was a chance she would clam up again.

"Because I compared her to the-" she paused for a second, deciding whether or not to say racists. She settled on, "-men who hurt me when I was kidnapped and she left quickly, seeming mad."

"Okay, what were you feeling when you compared her to those men?" he was acting as though I wasn't there and it only made my guilt worse. I needed to go talk to Clint after this but right now, I needed to be with Wanda.

"I was angry," she replied sheepishly. Her tears had stopped by now but her body was still shaking slightly.

"Angry about what?"

"I was angry about talking to you." She hid her face when she said this, and I assumed it was because she was worried he was going to be mad. "I didn't want to be forced to do anything. I've been forced to do things for the majority of my life, I just really didn't want to do this."

"That's understandable Wanda," Sam replied, his voice full of care. "Do you know the difference between being forced to talk to a therapist and being forced to do other things you don't want to do?"

He paused for a second, letting her answer. She nodded but didn't answer.

"Okay, so you know Nat was trying to encourage you to talk to me because she cares about you and wants to help you. She may force you to do things like talk to me, go to school, or eat, but that's because she wants what's best for you, even if you don't want to do it." I had forgotten to tell him about the new school situation but he would figure it out eventually. "Those other people forced you to do things to pleasure themselves and to hurt you. You already knew that though, right?"

She nodded, tears filling back up in her eyes. I knew she was probably feeling guilty but I was the one who deserved to feel guilty. She did say something hurtful in the moment but she has gone through so much, I didn't blame her in the slightest.

"Natasha, do you have anything you want to say?" Sam asked.

"Wanda, you know I could never, ever hate you, right?" She nodded in response. "You may get mad at me sometimes and I may get upset with you sometimes but that doesn't mean I hate you or would leave you, I will always stick with you, no matter what, I promise. I left to clear my head a little bit, I swear Wanda, if I would've known how you were going to react, I never would have left the compound. I love you and nothing you do will ever stop that. I'm your mom, I'm with you till the end, okay?" Her tears had started up again during my small rant but she gripped onto my shirt tighter, showing me that her tears weren't from anger or sadness.

"I'm so sorry mama," she cried quietly.

"Nuh-uh," I told her. "I don't wanna hear that you're sorry, there's nothing to be sorry for and you already apologized earlier. I'm the one who needs to be apologizing and I'm so sorry for leaving you angrily. I'll work on not reacting that way in anger as long as you promise to work with me on what you say in anger. I know you've been through a lot and it's hard to control but we can work on it together, deal?"

"Deal," she whispered. 

"I'll come back another day but for now, I think you guys should relax." Sam told us. I smiled at him and he smiled back. At least one person on the team didn't hate me.

"I'll talk to the team," he mouthed silently to me as he left the room.

"Thanks," I whispered back, knowing that they were all angry at me right now. The entire team has become so protective over Wanda that it hurt them when she was crying or in pain and in this case, she was upset because of something I had done.

Wanda pushed himself up. "We can stay if you want," I told her.

"Can we go back to our room?"

"Of course," I told her.

"Let me go get your crutch since you still don't have your brace. Tony should be done with it soon."

She gripped onto my shirt, "I don't want you to go," she told me quietly.

"Okay, what if I help you upstairs and then we can get your crutch later?"

She nodded. I was slightly worried she was developing separation anxiety but I was hoping that she was just clingy because of what had just happened. I helped her off the couch, basically carrying her upstairs. 

We got to our room and she lied on the bed. She looked absolutely exhausted, no doubt from all of the crying. Her eyes were puffy and bloodshot and she looked miserable.

"Get some sleep baby, I'll be right here," I told her as I crawled in next to her. She buried herself in my chest and was out within 5 minutes.

As soon as I was sure she was asleep, I carefully and slowly moved out of her grasp, making my way out of the room, all the way to Clint's room. He was on a face-time call with Laura when I walked in.

"Oh, sorry," I told him, closing the door as I went to leave.

"No Nat, come in!" he called out. I slowly walked in, going over to where Clint was. 

"Hey," I said to Laura.

"Hey honey! We miss you!"

"I miss you guys too."

"Where's Wanda?"

"She's napping," I replied, leaving out the part about her recent meltdown and our argument.

"Oh, the kids and I miss her. When can you guys come up next?"

"Is Auntie Nat and Wanda coming soon?" I heard Lila question in the background and I laughed slightly.

"Well, Wanda and I just decided that she doesn't actually have to go to school and she's recovered to the point where she can walk and move now so I don't see why we can't come over soon." 

"What about tomorrow?" Laura exclaimed excitedly. 

"I don't see why not," I laughed.

"Perfect, then it's decided, you and Clint will come back tomorrow."

"They're coming?" Lila basically screeched.

"Yup, they'll be here tomorrow but that means you need to clean your room," Laura said with her stern mother voice that still made my insides squirm a little bit.

"Okay!" I heard her say, not even phased by the fact that she had to clean her room. "I'll go clean it right now so Wanda and I can play!" It never ceased to amaze me how much energy that kid had.

"Well Lila's excited," Laura said with a laugh. 

"I'm excited too and I bet Wanda will be stoked," I replied with a smile. I missed them.

"Alright, well I'll see you soon babe," Clint said to Laura. 

"Love you," Laura replied.

"Love you too." They hung up and Clint turned to face me. I let a bit of my happy facade drop. I was happy but I was also full of guilt.

"What's up?" he asked as soon as he saw a bit of my actual emotion. 

"I left Wanda."

"What do you mean?"

"We were arguing about her talking to Sam and she told me that I couldn't force her to do anything. She compared me to the rapists, saying that I wasn't any better than them."

"What?" Clint shouted. "Why would she say that?" he seemed angry and I knew I had to diffuse it before anything happened.

"She was angry about the therapy and the second she said it, she felt horrible and tried apologizing but I was too hurt to listen."

"That kid needs to keep her anger under control," he growled.

"She's gone through a lot, she deserves to have a hard day but we're going to work on her anger management. Anyway, I left the room, saying that Sam would be there soon. She tried following after me but she was much slower on crutches and I figured she would run into Sam so I could cool off. I left the compound, deciding to go for a walk outside to clear my head. By the time I came back, Wanda was having a meltdown with the rest of the team. Luckily Pepper and Tony were there immediately to help her get through the immediate shock of me not being there and prevent a full panic attack but she had a hard time. I feel horrible Clint."

He blew some air out of his mouth before looking at me. "You left the compound?"

"Yeah, but I just walked to the lake. I didn't even think she was going to know I had left."

"What about what happened last time you pushed her away?" he questioned gently, seeming to know that he was treading on a fragile area. Tears sprung to my eyes and I blinked them away, trying to not cry in front of him. I had before but I didn't want him to worry about comforting me when I had done something so bad.

"I know Clint," I said, hating the shakiness in my voice. "I promised myself and her that I would never leave again, especially after a heated argument but I completely threw that out the window with this one. I don't know what to do." I could no longer hold all of the tears back and one fell down my cheek. I hastily reached up and wiped it away though.

"Well, how did Wanda react when you came back?"

"She didn't want me at first. She was crying into Pepper and didn't even want to look at me. She eventually decided to come to me and we had a very short session with Sam but she's still upset. She's sleeping right now but she might now want me when she wakes up." A sob escaped me. "I don't know what to do Clint!"

He got up and walked over to me, pulling me into him silently. I soaked up the comfort, tears falling down my face, feeling horrible because I didn't think that I deserved the love and comfort. 

"Shh, you're okay," I heard Clint say a couple of times as he embraced me. He rubbed my back slightly. All of this made me feel as though I was a kid again, when I lived with Clint and Laura.

I pulled away a few seconds later, wiping my face to rid it of any tears. "Sorry," I mumbled.

"Don't apologize, you're fine." I nodded, still feeling bad and guilty.

"I just feel so guilty Clint," I told him after a few seconds of silence.

"Well, I could do what we used to do when you felt guilty but I thought you were a little old." I blanched when I realized what he was insinuating.

"No! It's okay, you don't need to do that," I told him quickly, blush painting my cheeks.

"What do you need from me? Is Wanda okay?"

"Wanda should be fine but I feel horrible. I made her have a full on meltdown for no reason."

"What I'm hearing is that she needs professional help. We can't help her ourselves anymore. She is obviously suffering from trauma and if she refuses to talk to Sam or another therapist, there isn't much we can do."

"But I can't force her to talk to someone if she doesn't want to. That's literally the whole reason there was a problem."

"You can, you're her mom, she needs to listen to you. Laura forced you to do a lot of things you didn't want to do when it came to dealing with your emotions and you turned out fine."

I sighed, I knew he was right. "Okay," I huffed. "If she hates me though, it's your fault," I joked.

He laughed along. "Well it should be nice for both of you to come to the farm and relax for a little bit. Laura and the kids love both of you and it may be good for Wanda to get out of the compound."

"She's still on crutches," I informed him.

"That's okay, she can take it easy and the kids will be gentle with her."

I nodded, knowing he was right. "Alright, well, if we're leaving tomorrow, I better go get Wanda packed and ready."

"Sounds good, you're doing good, just try to relax Nat and if the guilt gets to be too much, Laura can take care of it." I wasn't happy with what he was hinting at as I thought of myself as too old for that but Laura had always told me that I would never get too old. I definitely wasn't itching for that to happen so I was ready to hide the guilt, even if it tried to overcome me. Hopefully Wanda wouldn't be too mad at me and that alone would help with the guilt.

I left Clint's room, heading back to Wanda and my room. I ran into Pepper on my way back. She stared at me but there was no heat behind her eyes this time.

"Where's Wanda?" she asked gently. Ever since I had met Pepper when I was still undercover, we had gotten along well so I wasn't used to her being mad at me. She was 10 years older than me so she had been like an older sister to me throughout my time with the Avengers.

"She's sleeping, thank you so much for taking care of her Pepper," I thanked her. "I didn't mean to make her upset, I didn't think that she would have realized that I had left, I promise." My eyes were still slightly puffy and red from my earlier tears so she was gentle with me.

"It's okay Nat, I know you would have never hurt her on purpose. And, I agree with you and the therapy, she's struggling but with her past, I wouldn't be surprised if she's trying to push through it without showing any signs of it, not something that is helpful for her. If you ever need support in getting her professional help, let me know and I'll help you." I smiled lightly at her. 

"Thank you so much Pep, I really appreciate it."

"No problem sweetie," she told me as she pulled me into a quick hug.

"We're going to go visit Clint's family for a few days," I told her after we pulled away from each other. Everyone knew about Clint's family now that we had to use his house as a safe-house during Ultron so I didn't feel bad mentioning them. 

"That should be nice, gives you two some time to relax."

"Yeah, definitely," I told her. "Thank you again for taking care of Wanda when I wasn't here, I know she appreciates it and that she loves you."

"No problem Nat," she smiled at me and I felt some of the guilt dissipate knowing that I had fixed my relationship with one member in the compound. Now it was on to Tony to get Wanda's braces.

I continued down the hallway, heading to his lab after checking with FRIDAY to make sure that Wanda was still asleep, which she was. Tony was in his lab, just like I had expected.

He, unlike Pepper, glared at me as I walked in. "Look who's here," Tony growled.

"Hey, I wanted to thank you for taking care of Wanda earlier."

He scoffed. "Yeah, cause someone decided to leave her alone, bad move Romanoff." He said it under his breath but I could still make out every word and I felt my eyes narrowing.

"Hey! I would never have left her if I knew how she would react."

"Oh, you mean like how you didn't mean to push her away when she was kidnapped?"

"Fuck you Tony," I hissed, he had crossed a line and he knew it. Everyone on the team knew how torn apart I had been after she had been taken. I turned to leave his lab and said, "Wanda and I are going to the farm tomorrow morning, please get us the new braces before then," over my shoulder as I slammed his door, going back to our room.

I opened the door quietly to see that Wanda was still asleep. If she slept much longer, she wasn't going to be able to sleep tonight so although I felt bad, I walked over to her to wake her up. I wanted to let her sleep as she was sleeping without any interruptions from nightmares but she needed to sleep tonight.

I gently shook her arm, coaxing her awake. "Wanda, it's time to get up sweetie."

She groaned as she rolled over, face down to keep her face buried in the pillows. I laughed lightly as I grabbed her arm and flipped her over.

"Mama, let me sleep," she whined.

"I know baby, but if you sleep now, you won't sleep tonight. You just need to eat dinner and then you can go back to sleep if you want to."

She rubbed her eyes as she let out a yawn and I almost cooed at how adorable she looked. She sat up, leaning into me.

"I love you mama," she told me. Although it was cute, I was slightly worried as she never acted like this. I pulled her into a hug though and chalked her actions up to the emotional stress she had gone through earlier. 

"I love you too baby, how'd you sleep?" 

"Good," she replied. "No nightmares for once," she laughed.

"Well that's good. I have some exciting news."

"What?" she asked, looking almost worried.

"We're going to go visit Laura and the kids tomorrow."

"What? Really?" she seemed excited so I was glad. I was slightly nervous to see how she took it. She loved them but she was still recovering.

"Yeah, Laura was on the phone and asked when we were coming back and since you're no longer in school, I saw no reason why we couldn't go back."

"Wait, we're leaving tomorrow?" 

"Yeah, why, did you have plans?" I asked, slightly joking but seriously wondering if there was a problem with us leaving tomorrow.

"Oh, no, I have nothing planned, we just need to pack!"

"Yup, I'll go grab the suitcases after dinner and we can pack but right now, we need to get some food into you."

She smiled as she slowly climbed off the bed. I had gotten her crutch from Tony's lab earlier and set it next to the bed so she grabbed it and moved out of the room, heading to the kitchen. We were having a team dinner and I was slightly worried how the rest of the team was going to react.

Wanda seemed to have forgiven me but it was only a matter of time before I brought up therapy again and then we were probably going to end right back up in square one.

Pepper, Steve, Tony, and Clint were already in the kitchen as we arrived. Everyone but Tony smiled at us. Tony decided to glare at me still. I glared right back until I noticed Clint's questioning look and then I stopped and looked away.

Steve was making dinner, some chicken dish, while the rest of the team sat around the table.

"I have your new brace done," Tony told Wanda. "I'll bring it up to you after dinner, how does that sound?"

"Great, thank you Tony," she replied.

"No problem kiddo, I made it so that it can bend both directions if you fall but otherwise, it will stay stiff and will limit movement."

"Cool, thanks."

The team chatted about random stuff while Tony and I glared at each other from across the table. Clint noticed and came to sit next to me, nudging my shoulder.

"Hey, what's going on between you and Tony?" he signed.

"He's being a dick," I signed back.

"What happened?"

"I went to go thank him for taking care of Wanda and when I tried to tell him that I never would've left if I knew Wanda was going to react that way, he brought up how my actions basically led her to be kidnapped." After I finished signing that, Clint shot a glare at Tony and he looked at me curiously, wondering what we were signing to each other as Tony didn't know sign language.

"That bitch," he signed back and I nodded. 

"Yeah, he's just doing it because he's protective over Wanda but don't worry, I told him to fuck off and then left."

"Yeah, he still shouldn't have said that though. You know that it's not true, right?" I nodded, although I still wondered if the rest of the team thought of me that way.

I watched as Clint got up and whispered something to Pepper. Pepper's eyes grew wide as they looked between me and Tony. I rolled my eyes slightly, knowing that Clint would go to Pepper to talk to Tony.

"Tony!" Pepper snapped. All conversation stopped as everyone looked at Pepper and Tony.

He looked at her and seemed slightly nervous. "Let's go," she told him before turning to the rest of the team and said, "We'll be back soon, don't worry about waiting for us if dinner finishes before we're back."

Tony glared at me once more before he got up to leave. 

"Pepper's got it," Clint told me with a smirk as he sat back down next to me.

"Really?" I questioned, trying to hide my own smirk.

"He'll be fine but Pepper will give him an earful." I almost felt bad for Tony, yeah he crossed a line today but he was doing it because he cared about Wanda and wanted to make sure that no one ever hurt her.

Wanda was oblivious to everything that was going on as she talked with Vision who just entered. Steve served dinner and I watched Wanda out of the corner of my eye. She looked at it and took a few bites before stopping. I didn't say anything though as the rest of the team chatted nicely.

Tony and Pepper came back a few minutes after we started eating. Tony looked guilty as he sat down, eyes avoiding mine. 

Wanda didn't eat anymore after the initial few bites and I nudged her slightly. She looked up at me. "Eat a little more please," I whispered to her as to not interrupt the conversation going on.

She nodded, picking up her fork as she ate a few more bites. She took the smallest bites but managed to eat all of her dinner. I was pleasantly surprised but didn't say anything as she moved her empty plate away from her slightly.

"Let's go get that brace fitted," Tony told Wanda, still avoiding my gaze. I got up to go with her, setting both of our plates in the dishwasher before following them to Tony's lab.

The brace fitting went quick, less than 5 minutes and it was on. I wanted to talk to Tony really quickly, now that my anger was no longer clouding my vision. "How about you head back to our room Wanda and I'll be right up with suitcases?" She nodded as she tested out her new brace. She seemed a lot happier now that she could bend her knee again instead of solely using the crutch.

I waited for her to leave the room before turning to Tony. "Hey, I'm sorry for earlier," I told him, even though I really wasn't that sorry. For cussing at him, sure, but I wasn't sorry for anything else.

"No Nat, you didn't do anything wrong, I went too far and I'm sorry. I was just so worried about Wanda, I didn't know where you had gone and you weren't answering your phone." 

"I left my phone inside because I didn't plan on being gone for long. I understand that you were mad at me though, I was mad at me too," I laughed, trying to cover up any awkwardness.

"I really am sorry though Nat, I went way too far, her getting kidnapped was not your fault, I said it out of anger and I'm sorry."

"It's okay, thank you for getting her brace made for her."

"You're welcome," he told me, smiling slightly.

"We'll be gone for at least a few days but when we come back we'll remove her cast on her arm and then she should be on the complete physical mend."

"Perfect, I'll work on a brace for her arm too, just to help strengthen it since she had a nasty break."

"Thank you Tony, we really appreciate it."

"No problem, you go have fun at the farm."

"We will," I told him before leaving the lab, heading up to go get packed. I grabbed two suitcases before heading back to our room.

Wanda was sorting through clothes when I got there, already getting started on her packing.

"I'm so excited to see Laura and the kids again. Do you think Nate will remember me?" she asked. Wanda had been close with Nate while we were at the farm so no wonder she was worried he would forget her.

"I'm sure Nate will remember you, he's a smart baby." She smiled at me as she handed me a pile of clothes to put in the suitcase. I put her suitcase on her bed while I got to work packing my own bag. 

I wasn't sure how long we were going to be there for but Wanda's cast was scheduled to come off at the end of the week, in a few days, so hopefully we would be able to spend all of our time before that at the farm. We still had to see how Wanda reacted though. She was excited to go and I was excited for her but she still needed therapy and other help. I was hoping Laura might be able to help her too since she always did with me.

I packed my suitcase quickly, moving onto helping Wanda with hers since she still couldn't move around super easily. 

Within half an hour, both of our suitcases were completely packed. We decided to turn in early tonight due to the long day that we had both had.

I turned off the light before crawling into bed with Wanda. Instead of curling into me like she normally did, she stayed an arm's length away, facing me.

"You okay Wanda?" I asked quietly, not wanting to push if something was wrong.

"Yeah, I just want to say that I'm really sorry for all of today. First, I was a brat for no reason and then I freaked out when you had just gone for a walk. I know that that caused a huge problem and I'm really, really sorry." I let her continue, wanting to butt in and say that she had no reason to be sorry but she rarely opened up, I wanted to let her. "I will work on controlling my anger." She paused before continuing, "and I guess talking to Sam wouldn't be the worst thing ever." I smiled at her, even though she could barely see it in the dark.

"Wanda, you have nothing to be sorry for. You have had a difficult life. Not only have you lost all of your family members but you've been experimented on, tortured, and sexually harassed." I knew that mentioning all of these things was a sensitive topic for Wanda but I hoped that she would be okay, maybe even show some of her emotions related to this. "Your life has been fucking hard and that has made you one of the strongest people I've ever met. You don't always have to be brave and strong though, you're allowed to break down and hate the things that happened to you. I'm glad you are beginning to come around to the idea of talking to Sam but you're right about what you said earlier. I can force you to sit in a room with him but that doesn't mean that you'll talk. If you ever decide that you don't want to do therapy, and I mean that you really can't do therapy for whatever reason, come to me and we can figure something out. I don't want you to be uncomfortable about emotions. I promise I'll try better to listen to what you want to do too. There are obviously still things that I won't be super lenient about such as eating and taking care of yourself but I will try Wanda, I promise. I love you and you are the best thing that has ever happened to me."

I could hear her sniffling and felt her move closer to me.

"I love you too mama," she told me before curling into my chest. I held her close.

"Try to get some sleep baby," I told her as I kissed her forehead. "I love you."

She mumbled something back before falling asleep and I had hope that recovery wouldn't be impossible.