Ch.2
Tony was a mess. Everyone who would walk in the room would immediately see it. Sitting at the bar drinking himself to unconsciousness. He couldn't help himself, he just wanted to drown in his sorrow and never have to open his eyes again.
The last time he ate was one day ago, half a sandwich. But he wasn't particularly hungry. Everytime he tried to get something into him, he felt nauseous and just wanted to vomit. But he was fine with it. He doesn't deserve to eat.
Last time he slept was 72 hours ago. All the nightmares he gathered through the years slowly began to creep back to him. Laying alone in bed was a weird feeling, that he never thought he would experience. Afterall he always had some willing chick to spend the night with him. It was a different feeling though. He wasn't with the person, he should be.
Tony wasn't sad and angry and feeling lonely because he hasn't got someone to sleep with him, he was sure he could find thousands of people who would throw themself at his feet, but because the only person he wanted, no, the only person he loved, just left him.
Pepper.
*******************************************
Tony was working in his workshop on his Iron Man gauntlets, he wanted to stabilize the repulsor beam even more, so it would have a wider firing range. Loud AC/DC music was playing in the background. The familiar whirling of the machines could be heard. Dum-E, U and Butterfingers were playing tag, like the children they were. Tony really sometimes considered them as his children, even though they weren't as advanced as Jarvis and he often threatened he would send them to kindergarten to entertain the kids, he still loved them.
So yeah, it was a pretty normal day for the inventor.
While the Mansion in Malibu was being restored after Killiams attack, he was staying at the Tower that was now renamed Avengers Tower, after he invited everyone to live with him. Some of his teammates were reluctant at first, with Steve having his own apartment, Bruce not liking crowded places and the two assassins working for Shield. But at the end everyone agreed and got their own room on the top floor. At first he was going to give them all a floor of their own, but first everything had to be prepared, so for now they had to do with a room.
Thor was a completely different story. Tony thought it would be difficult to convince the Thunderer, with being a prince and heir of Asgard, a completely different planet or realm or whatever, that was lightyear away from earth. But the god just nodded, grinned like a five year old kid that just has birthday, and even thanked him. Huh, he really looks like an overgrown puppy, Tony thought.
Light sounds of heels clicking interrupted his thoughts. He immediately recognised the person behind the noises. Turning around in his swivel chair he looked up, directly into the lovely eyes of his girlfriend that was standing a few feet away. Standing up, he strolled up to her and gave her a light kiss on the lips. After it ended, Pepper reluctantly, with a sad expression on her face, stepped a few paces back.
"Tony...I wanted to talk to you about something." she finished hesitantly.
The tone of her voice immediately alarmed Tony. Brows furrowed, he tried to reach for her, but she took another step back.
"Pep, wha-" he didn't get to end the sentence, when she started speaking again.
"Tony, I-I just can't anymore, I've seen you almost d-die four times now and I just-" she broke up and started sniffling.
"Hey Pep, what are you talking about, don't cry everything is going to be alright." Tony tried to assure her, but deep in his chest he had a feeling he knew what was going to happen.
"No it's not Tony, don't you see, that in the last years since you became Iron Man, you nearly lost your life on numerous occasions. Don't you understand I can't see you die. I can't see you die, Tony." her tone raised, but the last sentence came out as a soft, broken whisper.
"Pep, we can figure this out, I'll make this work. I can give up Iron Ma-" he rushed.
"Don't. Don't finish that sentence, Tony. You can't give up being a hero. All the time before you built Iron Man, you looked like you didn't know what to do with yourself. And now you have a team of real friends, people who admire you. I see you smiling more often, a real smile, even when you have nightmares because of your enemies. I can't take that away from you, from the people who need you." she said in a final but smoothing voice.
"But-" Tony let out a broken sound.
"Tony, I will never leave you, I just can't do it right now, do this. I will always be there for you, just not in the way we are now. But as friends." she looked him in the eyes, like looking for agreement.
And Tony nodded. He fucking just nooded dumbly to loosing the most important person in his life. He felt hollow. And then there was the sound of heels clicking on the floor and she was gone. Ten minutes later Tony still was standing on the exact same spot, looking on the exact spot, where she had stood, and he was looking for the past ten minutes.
He felt numb.
****************************************
The memorie burned itself in Tony's mind no matter what he did. He just couldn't believe it, that he had just let her go this easily. He should have argued more. Should have found a way to make her stay. To make this work. He was a failure.
Two weeks passed since he has last seen her on that day. Tony still couldn't stop drinking. Steve was throwing him worried glances and even tried to get him to eat something (the sandwitch) but after a while he stopped. The same goes with Bruce. Even Clint brought him some food on occasions. Natasha was doing it more discreetly. An apple there on the bar counter, a snicker bar on the table in front of the couch, hoping he would eat it.
Three weeks ago Thor left saying he had some business to do with Asgard, so the always optimistic norse god could also not cheer him up with his stories of his home planet.
Suddenly there was a big thump and the Tower shook. Speaking of the devil.
"Hey Point Break already back from vikinger land?" he threw over his shoulder.
"Man of Iron it's good to see you again my friend." Thor's voice boomed from behind him and he was sweeped in a enormes hug.
He didn't mind, he got used to Thor's bone crushing hugs.
"Aye I have returned from Asgard, I would like to excuse myself that it has taken so long, there have been a... few complications, but I will explain later."
"Thor you can be away from the Tower however long you want, I'm not forcing you to live here." Tony explained in a snarky tone, rolling his eyes.
"Oh I'm sorry if you have misunderstood my words like that, I don't feel like a prisoner here." Thor said.
Tony couldn't help it, he rolled his eyes again, nodded and made a shoo-ing motion with his hand.
"Yeah, yeah, you're excused, go eat some pop-tarts or whatever." Tony dismissed the asgardian.
Happily smiling, Thor wandered into the kitchen.
****************************************
While eating his pop-tarts, Thor couldn't stop wondering what happened with Stark. Mayby he wasn't the most opserving person, but he wasn't dumb. He could feel something was off about his friend, but he wasn't sure what. He would have to ask the other Avengers, if they knew something, later.
Now he has to think about what he's going to tell his friends, about what happened at his home.