Darkness
The next day Yelena is revealed to the press, they happily snap photo after photo and try to get quotes and information, but Nat is protective of her sister and shields her from any too deep or emotional jabs about the White Widow
The White Widow
That was the name we decided for her. A mirror of her sisters, a nod to s clean start, a nod to the hell that made her a killer and a nod to familiarity, a reminder on exactly who you would be messing with if you touched Yelena Belova. After that we get takeaway pizza, it seems a tradition now, whenever somethings major happens, or a battle is won pizza is called.
Halfway through the meal though Nat stands up abruptly pushing her chair back with a harsh scrape, glaring at tony with all the force she could muster
‘What did you just say’ she growls, her voice is not that of Natasha or Auntie Nat-it is the Black Widows.
‘I…ur..’ Tony stutters. Everyone’s eyes grow wide. What did Tony do this time?
‘Repeat what you just said’ she says, slowly getting her long dagger to and twirling it between us menacingly.
The billionaire visibly gulps ‘nothing’ he manages to stammer out. In a trice Nat is across the room, tiny pistol aimed and pointed directly at the back of him skull. No one moves an inch but Yelena who stands and walks up behind her sister, who’s standing muscles taunt hands shaking.
‘нет нац, не дай им победить, не дай им вернуться. Думать’ she whispers, gently reaching out, Nat flinches away from her touch (Nat, do not let them control you, do not let them back in)
‘они не выигрывают, я все контролирую он обидел тебя’ (this is me. I am in control, he offended you) she replies huskily
‘что он сказал? что он сказал, что каралось смертью’ Yelena sounds desperate now as the click of the gun cocking fills the empty air
She turns to us, last time I saw her nearly kill a friend her eyes were cold and empty but they were not today, they are full of fire and love and protection
‘He said the Red Room wasn’t as bad as we made it out to be’ Tony blanches and she continues, watching Yelena’s eyes fill with the same hatred ‘He said the others needed to be careful of us’ she finishes in a whisper, dropping the gun to the ground with a crash and walk out, leaving Yelena to complete the death glare and stalk out after her.
Clint and I stand up and start yelling at the exact same time, dawn glowing inside me, but his hand on his collarbone, clutching the necklace which had replaced his partner in crime. I look at him
‘after you’ I say and settle down to watch the show, anger boiling underneath my cool exterior
‘YOU LITTLE S, YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT SHE WENT THROUGH. AT 3 SHE WAS TAKEN FROM THE PEOPLE THAT LOVE HER AND FROM THAT DAY ON SHE WENT THROUGH HELL. WHAT WAS THE WORST THING IN YOUR LIFE HUH TONY? WHAT WAS THE WORST THING THAT HAPPENED IN YOUR LIFE?’ Clint yells at the man. Tony, decides to fight this battle, he tilts his head calculatingly and looks Clint up and down
‘Both my parents were killed, I never got to say goodbye’ he states. Hawkeye erupt again
‘YOU DIDN’T BLOODY GET TO SAY GOODBYE STARK? YOU HAVE MEMORIES. CAN YOU SEE YOUR MOTHERS FACE IF YOU CONCENTRATE. CAN YOU GOOGLE YOUR DAD IF YOU WANT TO KNOW HIS LAST NAME?’ Tony seems to realise what he did and nods slowly, but the archer is far from done.
‘That woman is not Natasha Romanoff’ Steve looks confused and Thor’s eyebrows burrow ‘that woman is not Natalia Alianova Romanova, not Natalie Rushman. She doent even know her real name BUT she is an incredible young woman that was abused in ways you can’t even have nightmares about and she came out the other side guns blazing for us. For the ‘good guys’ she could have stayed on their side, she could have become. No scratch that-continued to be the most feared assassin known but did she. No. she fought along side a super soldier, a god, a scientific phenomenon and a billionaire in a tin suit with only her guns and the skills they cut into her’
He is running out of steam now, tears beginning to make their way down is cheeks. He slumps onto the sofa and adds in a low voice
‘Nat didn’t even know her fathers name until red skull told her. That’s right, Red Skull. Remember that? When she sacrificed her fucking life for billions of people. Do you know what she said when she fell? She said I have no place in this world. Even after saving the world for the 3rd time she thought she didn’t belong. She thought she had no place in the world’ the tears fell freely, and he too stands.
‘Next time you think you are unlucky because the Wi-Fi goes down in the middle of a call or your favourite restaurant cant book you think of a little girl who was ripped from her loved ones, forced into blood and injections, collars and handcuffs and be grateful. Be fucking grateful’ he leaps up, into the vents above his head and the room is silent for a few second before, with a soft thwap an arrow hits the wall behind Tony’s head, quivering an inch from his ear
‘Be grateful’ a threatening voice from the ceiling says ‘I don’t usually miss’
It’s my turn next, but look at the others first
‘Please leave’ I request, it is not a question but a threat, if they don’t ill put Tony and I in a soundproof dome.
‘Do not kill him’ is all Steve says before filing out of the room, just before Banner leaves he turns to me, as if asking what to do
‘Call Maria’ I say quickly ‘and leave her and Lena alone, unless it is Ria, she wont want to see anyone else. And for Gods sake make sure there are no handcuffs hanging around’ he looks perplexed but nods and as the door shuts behind him I turn to the man.
Stark may have been the one that found me, paid for my recruitment, my training, covered my food, my living. Let me stay in his tower. But do I care right now.
No-flipping-way.
‘Did you know that Nat still handcuffs herself to her bed at night when she has nightmares’ I say slowly, sitting down opposite him and putting my feet on the table. He shakes his head, hurt and regret in his eyes, I know he would run and apologise if he could, he knew what he said was wrong and he wants to take it back but I wont let him, he cant ever make a comment like that ever, ever again
‘I know about the Red Room from hacking you couldn’t even do’ I think back to reading the files in Epic, hiding them from al as she read thor’s in awe
‘When I read about what they did I threw up 4 times’ I grimace softly and he averts my eyes ‘She was 3 when she was brought in. Abused the day after. Incitation they called in, electric shock collar and a butt load of needles. She was 5 when she could shoot bullseye. 6 when she was forced onto pointe, she has broken her ankles 3 times. She could kill silently by the time she was 7, raped for the first time at 8’ my heart breaks in that moment and I end my illusion, showing the tears raging down my mascara streaked face. Stark is almost crying too now. But I have a few more thing to say
‘She has experimented on, used as a weapon, a test subject. She cant get drunk, she sews herself up with zip ties’ his distress is evident now ‘she can’t even have children because of what they did to her. And as for Yelena. The exact same thing happened to her but she was older than Nat when she came in, she can still name her mothers hair colour. But Nat still took her under her wing, as a 9 year old she had gone through things most people die without, that should never happen to a human. Never. But she chose someone to love and she protected them’ I finish with a sigh, wiping the tears from my face and the dawn from my arms.
‘goodbye mr stark’ I say and shut the door behind me, not stopping to Steve or Bruce’s calls of my name.
I don’t stop until I reach my room, until I have manually locked the door (not even FRIDAY could let people in)
I don’t stop until I find the knife Val gave me the day after our first fight.
I don’t stop until the blood flows freely from my arms, the deep crimson staining the bathroom tiles.
I don’t stop until the blood shows that I am human
I only stop as I survey what I have done, the knife abandoned on the floor, my blood, rich red blood pouring from my veins.
‘I have no place in the world’ I whisper as I feel a familiar tug in the back of my mind, my eyes transferring to green
‘I have no place in this world’ I repeat in a whisper before this world wraps its arms around me, enveloping me in a void of darkness.