Chapter 1
AAAGGGHHH
is all I can hear as I hurtled through space and time. I am pretty sure it is me who is making the sound. Why did I take the Tesseract??? I think. Just my luck it drags me to a weird place in space, hey that rhymed! As you can see, I obviously am losing my mind. Suddenly the all too familiar sense of falling overcomes me. I see the ground hurtle towards me. I’m good as long as there is NO Hulk here..
Those are my last thoughts as I crash onto the planet.
I kick the weird dark figure that just fell from the sky screaming like a little girl. He rolls over and groans. “Ow. That hurt.” He mutters. “Please refrain from kicking me again, and it would be great if you could introduce yourself. Thank you for calling, I have gone to voicemail.” He rambles.
I stare at him. “What in the world is voicemail?”
He grins suddenly and looks up at me. “So what’s the year?”
“1347.”
“YUSSSSSSS!” he yells. “NO GREEN SUPER STRONG MIDGARDR BLOBS FOR ME!!!!” He weakly pumps an armored fist into the air.
“Are you some sort of barbaric knight?”
“Possibly. I am very barbaric. Totally. Hey do you have chocolate? Wait is that even invented yet? I hardly remember my 1300’s… This IS Earth right? Wait do you guys still think the sun revolves around the Earth?” The man looks up at me with a cheeky grin.
“Who the hell are you?” I demand.
“I’m… Loki… and you?”
“Hamlet, Prince of Denmark.” I glare at him. “That’s a very Nordic name. Are you a spy?”
“HELHEIM NO!” Loki yells “I HATE THOSE GUYS! PLUS MY BROTHER IS A JERK!” He pauses and slowly stands up.”they’re the ones who made me this hurt.”
I stare at his attire. “Have you ever killed someone?”
“I would say no, but that would be a lie. Like, a really big lie.” He leans against a tree for support.
I smile. “Would you like to help me kill the king?”
“Killing Kings!” He brightens up considerably. “Wait… you said you are a prince… isn’t this dude like your dad or something?”
“Please! He might be married to my mother but he is NOT my father! My uncle killed him… He has to pay.”
“What is up with royal dads being royal pains in the butts?” Loki muses to himself. “No but really, that’s relatable.”
I hold out my arm. “So you’ll help me?”
“YEET” yells Loki. Then he looks confused and says “yeah. I meant yeah… sorry I always get my centuries mixed up. You humans change so fast you know.”
“...no I have no idea what you mean. But as long as you’ll help me kill my uncle then were all set.”
“Great” He replies looking relieved. “You seem like a nice kid, and if you killed me I would have to kill you and that would be mildly upsetting.”
I stare at him for a moment. “Fair enough.”
He grins and pats me on the back. “Let’s go!” He sings cheerfully, and promptly walks in the wrong direction.
“Hey! Loki!” I point to the obvious towering castle. “This way!”
“Oh.” Is all he says and then follows me, leaving me to wonder whether this was actually a good idea.