Chapter 20
"You're seriously going to join us for sparring?" Gamora asks in shock and I scoff softly.
"Yes, I am. But, we're doing this my way."
"What's your way?" Morgan asks, interested, and I go over to the wall, putting in the CD from my CD Walkman. "What's that?" I press the button next to it and music surrounds us at a low volume, making me grin slightly as I go back over to them. "Music?"
"Yeah, music." It'll help me stay out of survival mode so that I don't hurt you guys too badly. I hope...
"How do you do that kick you used on that soldier?" Petey asks and I look at him.
"Well, be flexible, first of all. And, second of all, very carefully."
"Can you show us?" I shrug one shoulder and notice a dummy in the corner.
"If you bring that over, yeah." He goes to get it with Gamora and Indri and they set it on the floor near me. "Alright. First, you need to be in a good stance that has your weight evenly distributed between your feet." I shift into mine easily and the watch. "In case you don't know, you should also have your dominant hand back with your dominant foot behind the other one. Because when you punch something with your dominant hand, you'll put the force of your whole body into it. Yeah?" They nod and I nod back.
"So, you're in your stance, feet about shoulder-width apart. Now, you want to shift your back leg back a bit farther. For me, it's my right foot. So, I shift it back. Then, you put your weight on the ball of your front foot, left for me, and start to spin your body. While you're doing that, you kick your foot up and you end up kicking target. Like this." I open my hands slightly before closing them again and shift my right foot back slightly. I spin my body and kick my right foot up as I do, kicking the dummy hard enough in the head to send it tumbling to the floor while I spin to get my feet back to where they were.
"Wow... Talk about a reason to never skip leg day," Peter says and I snort, chuckling softly as I go pick it up.
"Your guys' turns. Let's go."
"Wait, seriously? Already?"
"Yeah. Come on. Do what I did. Let's go." They do it and a lot of them do pretty badly, most of them falling.
"Damnit!" Kraglin yells from his place on the floor and I chuckle, pulling him to his feet.
"You've got to work on balance first, alright?" He nods and goes over to the other kids, Stark and Leta the only two left.
"Aaah," Leta coos and points at the dummy.
"You wanna try?" She coos and I smile a bit. "OK. Have at it." She smiles brightly and toddles over, hitting it. It falls over and I smile, ruffling her hair gently as I pick her up. "Good job, Leta! So strong!" She giggles and I pick it up since Stark was bouncing, wanting to try too. "Go ahead and hit it, little guy." He smiles brightly at me and goes toward the dummy.
"Ah!" He kicks it the way I did and sends it across the room, which goes silent.
Leta screeches in laughter and claps while Stark giggles. "Holy shit," Peter says and I look at Stark.
"That... Was... Fucking awesome." I crouch and he hugs me suddenly, knocking me onto my ass. Maiko and Solstice look at us, clearly wanting hugs too, and I notice. "If you want a hug, you can come over here." All of the kids come over and I get knocked onto my back at the sudden hugs, grunting. "Instant regret. Gods," I mutter with a soft smile and hug them back, gently ruffling their hair.
"Alright, get off of me and go back to practicing," I say after a bit and they reluctantly listen before I stand, rolling my eyes slightly as I dust myself off. The kids spar with each other, Stark and Leta too and that's just fucking adorable.
"You going to spar with somebody, Captain?" Bucky asks and I look at him, raising an eyebrow slightly.
"Sure. You wanna go?" He looks surprised at that and I wait for his response.
"Um... Sure..."
"OK. Since I offered to spar with you, you aren't going to get into deep shit for that. OK?" He nods and seems to relax at that information. "And teaching moment." He rolls his eyes and comes over to me while I whistle to get the kids' attention. "Now, all of you are on the smaller side. Because of that, when you're against an opponent, assume they're stronger than you. No matter how big or strong you are. The worst thing to do in a fight is underestimating your opponent."
"OK, that makes sense."
"Pay attention to how they move and don't take your eyes off of them. Or else they can get the drop on you." Bucky swings at me and I barely dodge it. "Like that. Find their weaknesses and use them to your advantage. Widespread will usually be the eyes, throat, groin, and most of the time stomach."
"What's a groin?" Indri asks and I look at Bucky.
"It's the front of your pants, between your legs," He explains quickly and Indri nods a bit while I chuckle softly.
"Won't it only hurt boys, though?" Keiko asks and they look at me.
"No. It hurts girls too," Michelle says and I shrug slightly.
"I'd trust her on this because I have no clue and I'm not in the mood to find out. Anyways, the best ways to deliver the blows are with the hard parts of your body. For Bucky, his entire arm would work. For you guys, your knees or elbows. For example," I look at Bucky and he attacks me. I land a kick to his stomach and he stumbles slightly before coming at me again. I catch him and slam my knee into his stomach, lightening up slightly to not hurt him too much. "That will wind your opponent." He had his hands on his knees and I look at him. "You good?"
"Yeah... Just... Give me a minute..."
"Yeah, OK." I look at the kids and they look at me. "When you go for the eyes, use your thumbs. The heel of your boot or foot will also work because you shouldn't hurt yourself as much as if you were to kick with your toes. When you do that kick from earlier, your hitting with the top of your foot instead of your toes so you aren't breaking anything on your body."
"What about the other person's body?"
"Depends on how hard you kick them. But, we aren't talking about that right now. Bucky, you wanna grab me?"
"No."
"Fine. Loki, come here." He seems hesitant but listens and I give him a slight smile. "Grab me." He puts one arm around my throat lightly and I feel my heart speed up slightly, knowing he felt it too. "Now, in this predicament, you have a few options. Option one," I slam my heel onto his foot and he lets go of me before I throw him to the ground, pinning him with his arm behind his back. "Is that. Once you learn all of it... But, mainly slamming your heel onto their foot." I let Loki up and he glances at me.
"Could you have been a little more gentle on my foot?" He asks in a murmur and I smirk slightly.
"Another thing I could've done was slam my elbow into his ribcage. Or, my fist into his groin. Both would cause pain and could cause him to let me go, especially the groin hit. Now, I have something I could've done, but I'm not sure if you can."
"What's that?"
"Well, for this, I'll need someone who is about my height to sneak up behind me and grab me from behind like they're gonna kill me." No footsteps. "And they won't get into any shit."
Someone suddenly grabs me from behind with one arm around my throat and another around my torso. "Good. Now, I can do two things that will get me out of this and them on the floor. Option one or two?"
"Two."
"Option two it is. I love this one." I lean forward slightly and use my boots to go into a flip over them. Steve lands on his back on the floor while I land on my feet, deactivating my boots, and I look at him.
"What was option one?" I pull him to his feet and motion for him to grab me again. He does and I grab the arm around my throat by the forearm and bicep, flipping him over my shoulder onto the floor. "Ow."
"I bet." I pull him to his feet again and the kids looked so amazed.
"When can I do that?" Morgan asks excitedly and I chuckle softly.
"Not sure, but you will be able to. Eventually. All of you will, alright?" They nod and I smile slightly, heart still racing. "Well, you guys work on sparring." They do that and I watch for a bit before leaving, feeling my control slipping away. I head to Controls and lean against a wall to watch the stars in able to regain my control, breathing slowly.
"Why was your heart beating so fast?" Steve asks and I glance over to see that the Avengers had come in, Loki looking at me worriedly. I look at them all and rest my head against the wall as I look back out at the stars.
"Every little speck of light out that window is dead and we just see it because light takes a long time to travel."
"What does that have to do with anything?"
"You still think I'm a terrible person, Steve?"
"Yes, without a doubt."
"I agree with you. I'm selfish, rude, arrogant at times, obnoxious at others, and, all-around, difficult to be around. I believe that one of those stars could be Hala, the Kree homeworld. Where I fought and killed to keep my children and family alive and free from slavery. I don't know if the people I killed had family off of the planet, I didn't care at the time. I killed a lot of Kree that day. I've killed a lot of every race. After a while, you learn to be numb to it and the emotions."
"There a point to this?"
"I could never go numb. The best I could do was go into my survival mode and have all of it crashing down on me when I came out of it. I honestly don't think I wanted to go numb. I went pliant, unresponsive, and docile. But never numb. If you go numb to the bad stuff, you go numb to the good stuff too. So, now, I lay awake at night wondering where the Hell it all went wrong. Wondering why. Or, I sleep. I sleep and have everyone that I've ever seen die, die again in my head after I run from them in an endless labyrinth of an empty building. Have everyone I've ever killed begging for mercy... And the only way I know that would work got turned to dust by the Kree and I can't have a crewmate randomly walking in and out of my Quarters because then people will talk and we have a lovely little mutiny on our hands." I let out a wet laugh and rub my face, wiping away the tears I had unknowingly shed as I clear my throat.
"So, yeah... I am a terrible person. I kill people and do it with a smile on my face. To keep from showing pain during a fight and to let the people watching the fight who care about me think that I'm OK. Just like on Terra. Get beat up, find my sister, get cleaned up while telling her I'm fine even while I'm bleeding... So, yeah. I'm a terrible, selfish person who only cares about myself. Obviously." I lick my lips slightly as I stand straight and rub my face again.
"Gods... I need a drink and you guys need to get back to whatever you were doing before this." All of them but Loki leaves, most of them glaring at Steve, and he looks at me sadly. "Please," I whisper and he nods slightly, leaving. I go to my Quarters and pour a glass of Rhone for myself, downing it quickly. "Gods..." I put the glass down and rub at my face, sighing as I go to make sure it's cleaned up.
I leave my Quarters and head to the Hangar to work on my ship as I sometimes do when I'm upset or need to calm down, plugging one earpiece into my ear from my wrist com to listen to a song on repeat, something else I do when I want to calm down.
I use my visor to find problems with my ship and fix them, head bobbing slightly to the song.
"Um, Captain?" I put my earpiece up and look at Steve, quirking an eyebrow at him. "I want to apologize... I shouldn't have said or assumed those things... It wasn't fair to you with everything you've gone through... I'm sorry..." He rubs the back of his neck and I look him over, nodding slightly.
"Alright. Apology accepted. Get back to work." He nods and leaves while I feel slightly better, but finish what I was doing.
My head feels clearer and I feel lighter by the time I'm done, taking a deep breath as I put the tools up.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The lunar cycles go by in a flash and we're landing on Terra for Christmas, all of the kids excited, even Gamora, despite trying to seem disinterested. Tony gets ahold of his people to get stuff made for my kids so they can ski or snowboard with all of the stuff that's needed and I smile a bit, seeing the cabin had been repaired. "Who..."
"My people handled it," Tony explains and I look at it, at a slight loss for words.
"Thank you," I whisper and he nods while we go inside. I notice a familiar face and smile. "Hey, Doc!" Doc turns and smiles at me, coming over.
"R- I mean, Captain. It is lovely to see you."
"Rogue's fine, Doc. You kept me from dying when I was a dumbass, you've earned the right to not have to call me Captain."
"Are you sure?"
"Absolutely."
"Alright. You have... Grown since the last time I saw you."
"I know. My old form just couldn't match the level of awesome exuding from me. So, it had to grow to match it." I had gotten broader and buffer with a few more inches, slightly taller than Charlie-27 now. They chuckle and shake their heads slightly.
"If you say so, Ca- Rogue."
"Is it alright if I give you a hug?" They look surprised and smile, nodding. I lean down to hug them and they hug me back. "I've missed you, Doc," I say as I let them go and they smile.
"It has been a while since we have last seen each other."
"Yeah. I didn't see you, last annual cycle. You not with Yondu's crew anymore?"
"No, actually. Captain Bently offered me a position as First Mate after I was informed you had died... So... I took it." They look at the kids and smile gently. "Hello, Indri, children. Who do the lot of you belong to?"
"Congratulations on the promotion, then. And... Me, they're my kids."
"Oh! Congratulations, Rogue. Their names?"
"OK. Petey, Gamora, Jay, Jason, Raziah, Keiko, Yondu, Kraglin, Senso, Lumes, Charlie, Kruthin, Maiko, Solstice, Stark, and Leta." I point them out and they were scattered, the youngest two flitting between the other pairs.
"You named two of them after Captain Udonta and Kraglin? And you're still alive?"
"Surprisingly." I chuckle and they smile, noticing how I keep glancing at Loki.
"Rogue, if you don't mind me giving you my opinion."
"Not at all."
"The only thing that matters in a relationship is how the people in it feel. What doesn't matter is what anyone else thinks of them. Do you get what I'm saying?"
"Stop being an idiot and just let people know because it doesn't matter?"
"Exactly. You always were the smart one between you and Quill. I'm sorry to hear he's in the stars... With Jay and Gamora..."
"Yeah... But, the people that put them there are littering the ground of Hala."
"Good."
"Is it just me or has this break from being Ravagers keep getting longer?"
"The Ogords enjoy spending time with their small family and the other Captains so they try to extend it as far as they can. They never go past a month."
"Because they are itching to get back to it by the end of it." They chuckle as they nod their agreement and I smile, having truly missed them. "I seriously have missed you, Doc."
"I have missed you as well, Rogue. I am truly grateful that you're back with us."
"So am I... So am I..." The Avengers come over with my kids and they all look at Doc.
"Who's this?"
"Doc."
"OK. What's their name?"
"Doc..."
"You go by Doc?" They chuckle and nod.
"I was the Lead Doc in Captain Udonta's crew for many years and I helped patch Rogue up for most of them."
"Yeah... I was in Med a lot."
"Yes, you were. It gave me time to study how your systems worked and to figure out your Celstialness."
"Glad I could help, Doc." I chuckle with a soft smile and the others look at me. "Doc was a good part of me growing up. They filled the role of my Mom, more or less. But, they helped me become who I am today. So, thank you, Doc. Truly. And I apologize deeply that I didn't thank you sooner." I rest my fist over my heart and bow slightly, showing them all of the respect that they deserve.
"No need and you are most welcome." I straighten up and they smile at me. "Now, you need to get something to eat and drink. Because I know that you haven't done either of those things yet this solar cycle. Go."
"As you wish, Moddy." They roll their eyes with a soft smile and I go to do as I was told.
"What's Moddy mean?"
"It's a gender-neutral term for a parent that Rogue would call me from time to time when I would scold her for not taking care of herself. She did a lot of research to make sure I felt comfortable and that she didn't mess up. Anyone who becomes her partner is lucky to have her and they should never screw it up." I smile and lean against the counter.