'Till the end of the line

Dear Stevie,
God how I miss you. You have no idea how hard it is to be here without you, Everyone keeps talking about their girls and showing off pictures and I just sit in silence and look at the one picture of you and my sister. I wish this war was over soon but I fear it will not be soon enough. I wanted to write to you and tell you I’m getting shipped to the front line tomorrow…You can reply at any point but if I don’t reply don’t worry.
I keep thinking of our last night together and the memory is slowly fading away. I can’t wait to just hold you and let you know how much I love you. The guys keep looking over my shoulder as I write this. Thank God they think it's a girl. I’ve been keeping my head down and focusing on winning this war so I can come back to you. I do hope for you in the love department but another part of me is wishing you will wait. I want to just beg you to wait for me, But that isn’t fair to you. I know it isn’t and I can’t be selfish with you no matter how much it pains me…
What I miss most is your cooking the melty potatoes and the perfectly seasoned meatloaf it makes my stomach warm. I yearn for even the smell of your apple pie and to watch your favorite Ice cream drip down the sides. If I make it out of this hell I’m expecting a dinner when I get back Punk! Haha
How I wish I could hear your laugh now. It could cover even the darkest of memories I have right now. I’m scared Steve. I don’t know what destruction waits for me beyond this camp and I pray for your safety everyday. I hope you aren’t getting into fights you can’t finish and I want you to know I love you.

‘Till the end of the line.
Forever yours,

Sergeant James Barnes

Steve’s eyes filled with tears as he finished Bucky’s note and he dropped the paper on his table. Trying to catch his breath he stumbled over to the cabinet and pulled out his inhaler. Taking in a few puffs he wiped his face clean from his tears. He sat against the kitchen cabinets and thought of Bucky’s voice, his smell, anything about him that he could remember. He felt like sobbing but he picked himself up off the ground and laid out a clean sheet of paper. He held the pen for what seemed like hours but nothing was being written down. Steve let out a heavy sigh as he glanced at his watch. Stumbling over his own feet Steve rushed out the door and down to the next door diner. He had agreed to meet a nice girl for lunch from his workspace and was running late. He got caught up in the letter from Bucky and wanted to just forget about it. But he was trying to do what Bucky said.

Pushing open the heavy door Steve saw the girl sitting at a table nursing a coffee in her right hand. She smiled as he locked eyes with her and made his way over. She straightened her posture as Steve sat down and picked up the small menu. Steve smiled quaintly at her as he fakly perused the menu. A waitress soon appeared to break the awkward silence between them and Steve just asked for water with whatever the girl wanted. He didn’t really pay attention, he was too busy going over Bucky’s letter in his mind. She tried making simple conversation but Steve was lost in his thoughts.
“I’m sorry. I just have a lot on my mind today.”
“Hey, I get it. It’s hard with everyone over there and us stuck here.”
“Yeah! I just miss them so much. I don’t understand why they just can’t come home already.”
“At least you have someone that can come home.”
“Oh, I’m sorry-I didn’t mean to.” Steve held his head down as the girl avoided eye contact with him.
“It’s fine. I’m trying to remind myself he died for his country.”
“Yeah…” Steve took a pause to think of Bucky firing a gun for their freedom and rushing into battle for him. The waitress set down Steve’s water glass with the girl’s meal and he thanked her. Steve and the girl sat silently as they each looked around the small diner they were in. Steve cleared his throat awkwardly and noticed her eyes perking up as if he was going to speak.
“I, Uh, I’m not that good at this, I’m sorry. Just nervous I guess.”
“Why would you be nervous Steve?”
“Well out to lunch with a pretty girl like you. There’s a lot to be nervous about.” Steve adjusted his sleeve as she smiled while neatly eating a fry from her plate. Steve wet his throat as he took a large sip of water and politely nodded to the gentleman watching them from the corner. Seeing him make his way to their table he rolled his eyes and tucked his face towards the window.
“Hey baby, Why don’t you let me take you out instead of this stick here?”
“No thanks.” Her voice was full of annoyance and she tried to focus her attention back to Steve.
“Come on Baby...I bet I can please you more than this stick.” The man leaned over the table which caused Steve to stand up.
“I think the lady said no.” Steve cleared his throat as he watched the man’s demon change to violence.
“Well clearly she isn’t right in the head.” THe man squared up evenly with Steve and towered over his frail body.
“Apologize. Now.”
“Why don’t you make me pipsqueak.” The man’s fist collided with Steve’s face and he fell on the floor of the diner. Steve quickly scrambled off the floor and third to throw a punch before the man caught his fist and pushed him down again. Before Steve could get up one more time he heard the loud clicking of heels running away from the area. WIth the girl gone the man who was attacking Steve stopped and let Steve run away from the scene. Steve wiped the pooling blood away from his lip and headed back home. Grumbling to himself as he stepped in the small apartment. He relaxed against the small sofa he had added to the decor recently and looked over Bucky’s note again. Tears welled into his eyes and he let them pour out and drip against his clothes. He felt himself shaking from the emotions he released and tried to take a few deep breaths. He felt his chest tighten and tried to calm himself down. Steve brushed through his hair as he let out a breath of pent up anger. Pacing through his small living area Steve tightened his fist, crushing the letter from Bucky. He heard the crushing from the paper and quickly tried to flatten it out.
“How am I supposed to find a dame when I can’t even defend one at lunch!” Steve tossed his boots off in anger and slammed open the closet door. Seeing Bucky’s clothes made tears well in his eyes again. He grabbed Bucky’s dark blue button up and slipped it over himself. Tucking his nose into the collar he felt his muscles loosen and a sense of calm flush over him. Even having Bucky’s scent helped him, He wished he could just hold Bucky and have his soft muscles pressed into him.