Chapter 15
Steve sits on the couch, with Bucky sleeping soundly in his arms. He's so happy that Bucky remembers again, and is no longer scared. He really missed just being able to hold him and cuddle like this. He's grateful for the twins, especially Wanda for helping Bucky remember.
The twins are watching TV on the other couch. There hasn't been much talking besides Steve profusely thanking Wanda for healing Bucky, and Wanda telling him not to thank him, that she cares about Bucky and was glad to help. Now Bucky is asleep, and everyone is quiet.
"So how did twins come out with such different abilities?" Steve asks, deciding to break the silence.
"Oh, we weren't born enhanced. HYDRA gave us our powers through experimenting on us." Pietro says.
"We didn't know they were the bad guys when we volunteered." Says Wanda.
"You volunteered?" Steve asks.
"Yes. Maybe we shouldn't have. But we were just kids, and we wanted to get strong to avenge the death of our parents. I guess we were vulnerable, and HYDRA must have known it. So when they offered us the chance to get strong and gain powers and we just took it."
"I'm sorry to hear about your parents." Steve asks. "May I ask what happened?"
"When we were children, just ten years old, there was war in Sokovia. A missile destroyed our home. Our parents died instantly. Hopefully quick and painless. But when the second one hit, Pietro and I were hiding under the bed. It landed right next to us. We stayed there for days, waiting for it to go off. Waiting to die. We lived in fear for days under there, starving and terrified. But it never went off. It must have been defective." Says Wanda.
"I'm very sorry to hear that." Steve says.
"It was a long time ago." Says Wanda. "We'd rather not talk about it."
"Yes, I understand. Sorry for bringing it up."
"It's alright. You were just curious." Says Pietro.
The silence after that is awkward. Wanda and Pietro eventually decide to retire to the common floor, where they'll be staying while their own floor is being furnished and renovated.
Steve turns off the TV. He's happy to just sit here and watch Bucky sleeping in his lap. He looks so peaceful, and Steve is glad knowing that he's not afraid and confused.
Soon enough Bucky's opening his eyes, and looking up at Steve. "Steve." He says, and signs for "hungry."
"Of course, sweetheart. I'll make you something right now." Steve says. He kisses Bucky's cheek and they get up.
Once Bucky is fed, they cuddle on the couch some more. Bucky kisses Steve. Soon cuddling turns to making out. They kiss deeply and passionately, Bucky straddling Steve's lap.
"Stevie." Bucky whispers against Steve's lips.
"I love you, Buck. I'm so glad you can remember. I'll always love you and take care of you. And I promise we'll do everything we can to keep you safe." Says Steve.
They keep making out until Steve's phone tells him Bucky needs to be changed.
"Come on, doll. Let's get you cleaned up." Steve says.
They go to the bedroom where Bucky lays down while Steve grabs the diaper and wipes. He's maybe a little too happy and proud when Bucky doesn't cry as Steve gets his pants down. Knowing Bucky is happy and not scared is such a relief to him.
He opens Bucky's diaper to see him hard. He's not surprised, they were getting pretty hot and heavy on the couch. He's hard too.
He gently wipes the urine from Bucky's skin, but he can't help but notice Bucky shiver at the contact of the wipe on his erect penis.
"You feeling pretty good, Buck?" Steve asks. "Can I help you with this?"
Bucky nods.
So Steve finishes cleaning Bucky, and then sets the wet diaper and used wipes aside. He gives Bucky's dick a few pumps. Bucky moans in pleasure.
Steve leans down, licking up the underside of Bucky's cock.
"Stevie..." Bucky moans.
Steve takes that as his cue to take the whole thing. He swallows down Bucky's cock, wrapping his lips around the base and sucking like his life depends on it.
He can faintly taste the baby wipes he'd just cleaned Bucky with, but he doesn't care. All he cares about is making Bucky feel good, and he's loving the sounds he's making, letting him know he's succeeding.
"Steve." Bucky gasps, reaching down to grasp at Steve's hair.
Steve keeps it up until Bucky's cock is pulsing in his mouth, shooting cum down his throat. And Steve swallows it all like he's dying of thirst.
"Stevie." Bucky sighs as Steve pulls off. He puts his hand over his heart.
"I love you too, Buck. So much." Steve says. He gets Bucky into a new diaper and throws out the old one, and brushes his teeth, before joining Bucky in bed.
"Steve." Bucky says. He rests his hand over the tent in Steve's pants, where he's still hard.
"It's okay, doll. You don't have to." Steve says.
"Steve." Bucky says again, starting to rub Steve through his pants.
"Well I guess if you insist." Says Steve with a smile. He pulls his own cock out, and Bucky strokes him off until he cums, shooting upwards and landing on the front of his shirt.
He changes and goes back to bed with Bucky.
"I love you." Steve says, pulling Bucky close and kissing him.
"Steve." Bucky answers, laying his head on Steve's chest.
"I wish you could speak more. I know it's not your fault you can't. Don't feel bad. I just miss chatting with you." Steve admits.
Bucky nods. "Steve." He says.
"I'll try to help you learn. If you've learned to say my name, and learned those signs, maybe there's hope. And even if you can't learn to speak verbally, I'm sure you could fully learn sign language. It didn't take long at all for Clint to teach you the few you know."
Bucky nods. He really wants to be able to communicate again, too.
They cuddle close and go to sleep.
☆
The next few days are busy. Firstly, Steve has Bucky examined by Bruce. Natasha had asked whether he'd been to a doctor yet, and Steve realized he hadn't. He doesn't know why he hadn't taken Bucky to a doctor. He just hadn't thought of it. Bucky hadn't been ready. Steve had been preoccupied taking care of him. Or maybe those are just excuses. Either way Steve feels guilty. Bucky smiled and hugs him. He doesn't want Steve to feel guilty. He would have fought against going to the doctor anyway when he thought he was the Soldier. He would have been scared. He wishes he could tell Steve that.
Bruce does plenty of tests and scans while Steve stays close, holding Bucky's hand through it all and watching carefully. He asks about everything Bruce is doing and whether it will hurt.
They learn that Bucky has extensive brain damage from all the shock torture. Bruce emphasizes how lucky he is. Bucky should be at best a vegetable, at worst dead, he says. He credits Bucky's survival to the serum. Without it, he says, Bucky would probably be on life support with Bruce urging Steve to pull the plug out of mercy.
But it doesn't mean he's fine.
They learn that Bucky has aphasia, specifically expressive aphasia, also known as Broca's aphasia. It's a loss of verbal comprehension and abilities often brought on by brain damage or stroke. Bruce says this type of aphasia means that Bucky can understand what others are saying, but can't form speech himself. He says that Bucky can learn to speak again, but minimally. Bucky may learn some words, and with effort be able to say them, even though he will struggle. But he won't be able to speak full sentences. He also may learn to read and write, but probably not coherently.
They also learn he has a neurogenic bladder. This means the signals between his brain and bladder are interuppted or absent. This is often caused by injuries to the brain or spinal cord or degenerative diseases. This is why he's incontinent. Bruce says Bucky's brain doesn't get the messages that his bladder is full or send the messages to close his urinary sphincter to hold it in. Bruce says this one could be worse. He says some people with neurogenic bladder have the opposite problem, where their urinary sphincters stay pinched shut, leaving them unable to pee at all and leading to pain, kidney problems, infections, etc. and need intermittent or even constant catheterization to manage it.
He also says that Bucky probably had retrograde amnesia, but that Wanda may have helped it. He added though, that Bucky's recent episode where he'd forgotten again isn't uncommon, and may happen sometimes. It's normal, he says.
Steve doesn't care if Bucky never gets better, he's just glad to have Bucky at all. And as long as he's not in pain or suffering, he doesn't mind changing diapers or helping him through periods where he may forget again.
Bucky is very excited to know that he may be able to speak. All the Avengers are very supportive. Clint and Nat come every day. Nat tries to teach him words with flashcards, and Clint helps teaching him the same words in sign language. Bucky so far has only been able to master the sign language, but he's working hard to try to speak the words as well. Each time he learns a new sign he excitedly shows off to Steve with a childish glee that Steve loves to see. He's happy that Bucky is happy.
Soon the day comes when it's time for the Avengers to go into action and protect Bucky.
Steve spends the morning anxious. This needs to be successful. Everything needs to be alright. He doesn't know what he'd do if they failed.
The morning goes as usual, changing and feeding Bucky, some cuddle time on the couch, communication lessons with Nat and Clint. But soon it's time to go.
Bruce is staying behind to look after Bucky, as well as Pepper, Happy, and Rhodey. Tony says they're trustworthy, and besides, all the other Avengers have to go, including Steve.
As soon as the Avengers leave the Tower will be locked down. Nobody should be able to get in. Bucky should be safe. Clint will be in a window of an adjacent office building ready to fire at anyone who may try anyway. JARVIS will be monitoring all doors and windows and keeping everyone up to date. A few SHIELD agents that have been proven to still be trustworthy are hiding throughout the Tower. If anyone does get in, they won't get far. Thor is off world and nobody knows how to reach him, and Steve, Nat, Sam, Tony, Wanda, and Pietro will all be out taking down Rumlow.
Everyone gets suited up and ready, and Bruce, Pepper, Rhodey and Happy come up to Steve's floor to stay with Bucky. Rhodey has his war machine suit.
"Its time for us to go, Buck. I'll come back to you, just like always. And I promise that after this, you'll be safe. We'll protect you, whatever it takes." Steve says.
"Steve." Bucky says. He signs for I love you.
"I love you too, Bucky. Be good, alright? I'll try to be back soon." Steve says. He kisses Bucky, and hugs him tight.
Wanda comes over, grabbing both their hands. "We don't want him to forget you again while you're gone." She says. She touches their hands together as her own glow pink. Steve and Bucky both see fond memories of each other in their heads.
"Thank you, Wanda." Steve says when she's done. Bucky nods his thanks as well.
Steve turns to his teammates. "Avengers, assemble."
The Avengers turn to leave. Steve looks back as the elevator doors close, seeing Bucky wave to him. He smiles and waves back. He hates to leave Bucky. Even more so after the last time. But he needs to keep Bucky safe. And this is what it takes.