Chapter 20
Peter woke up first, by like a second, the moment he woke up his body tensed as he forgot where he was, his tensing awaking Natasha. The moment he realised what had happened though he sank back into Natasha’s arms, this was the first time he had felt safe since leaving, he didn’t want to leave, he didn’t want to have to face what was coming. He heard Natasha chuckle when he sank back down, but her arms tightened around him again.
“Are you doing okay?” She asked him, running her hand through his hair once again, something she had found out early on was the quickest way to calm him down, something he himself hadn’t known. No one had ever done it before her, May had never offered him any comfort when they were alone, only ever hugging him when they were around others.
“I don’t know. No? I left the blanket I took with me on the roof.” He mumbled back at her, still refusing to remove herself from her arms.
“Don’t worry about the blanket we can have James get it on the way back, if it’s not there Tony can buy the exact same one don’t worry about that. Do you want to talk about any of it? A lot has happened in a really short time.” She asked him softly, continuing to run her hand through his hair.
Did he want to speak about it? Part of him did and part of him didn’t, there was so much to say that he didn’t know how to explain. Was he supposed to be describing what they did to him, what they said? Was he supposed to talk about his month on the street? Did she want to know about the time before he left?
“I, I’m not sure. Where would I even start?” He asked her, what did Natasha want to know?
“That’s understandable, why don’t you try telling me what happened before you left? What happened there? Why didn’t you tell us about May and how did you hide all of that from us?” Natasha asked him softly, okay he could talk about that, that was the easiest part. Well not really the easiest part, the way May had treated him was wrong Peter knew that, but he had still cared for her and it still hurt.
“I didn’t tell you about May because it’s all I knew, you know she never wanted a child, never wanted to have to look after me but Ben convinced her that it was what they needed to do since I had no where else to go. That it was the safest option. I don’t think she ever loved me, but I thought she did, my family was never a family that comforted each other, there was no hugs no nothing. Unless we were in public, then it was all praises and comfort and physical affection because that’s what the public knew the Parkers to be but that’s not who they were and I was that weird Parker, the bubbly child that loved affection and so they tried to squash it out of me. Ben was the only one there who offered some amount of comfort, the only one who I think truly loved me and May put up with it because she loved him but when he was gone she had no reason to pretend that she even cared about me when we were alone, Ben was always trying to build a bond between us. May would always make comments towards me, but it wasn’t until around four months before I left that she started to get really cruel. She hated me before all of this, but when she realised that I thought of here as home she loathed me, she would begin to throw things at me, not to hit me but enough to scare me.” Peter doesn’t know when he began to cry but he felt Natasha hug him tighter before placing a kiss on his head. “May was supposed to take care of me, supposed to love me, but she didn’t. She wanted me out and so I left.”
“But why didn’t you tell us that, we would have sorted it out.” Natasha tells him.
“May made comments about you guys all of the time, kept telling me that eventually all of you would see the truth, that you’d see that she was right, and I knew believing it was dumb but I couldn’t help it, I feared if I stayed here it would come true. Can we do something else now? I don’t want to talk about any of it anymore, please.” Peter was tired of thinking about all of it, he knew eventually he would have to talk about it, and he would, but he felt too drained to do that now.
Thankfully Natasha picked up on it, “Should we go bake?” For the first time in so long Peter allowed himself to smile, now baking, that was something he did have the energy for.
“Can we bake cookies?” He asked her, finally looking into her eyes, to which Natasha began to softly laugh and nodded to him, her and Bucky knew of his weakness for cookies, he loved a good cookie. Natasha got up from the bed first before holding out a hand for him to pull himself up, once he was up Peter all but ran to the kitchen, he had missed baking with them. He could hear Natasha continue to laugh from behind him, he’s missed her, and he knew eventually they’d have to talk about what he wrote, that they’d have to talk about him seeing her and Bucky as his parents, but for now he’s going to let himself enjoy this. And when that conversation came up, hopefully they wouldn’t ask him to leave, they wouldn’t want him to be their son he knew this but for now he could pretend.
Watching their cookies bake in the oven Peter realised he hadn’t seen Wolfie since he had woken up. “Tasha, where’s Wolfie?” He asked her, moving to look at her. At his voice she turned from the sink where she’d been washing the utensils they’d used, he was used to seeing her like this now after spending so much time with her, but the first time he’d saw her, well not just her but the whole team, doing domestic actions such as washing plates he had been shocked. He still isn’t sure why.
“You probably don’t remember this since you were pretty out of it, but when I found you, I killed Strucker on the spot.” At that he nodded to her, he doesn’t remember that, not really, he remembers her picking him up but that’s it. “However, Osborn got away, so James and Steve have gone out to dispose of him, Tony was able to track him down, so you don’t have to worry about him anymore. James will make sure of that for you.” She came over to him after drying her hands and cupped his chin to make him look up at her. “I know you don’t like violence; I know you want everyone to get a fair trial, which is good I don’t want you to ever change about that, but people like Norman they know too many people, he would be out quicker than we could protest it. I’m sorry about that.”
Peter didn’t like violence and death, Natasha was right about that, but after everything that Norman had done to him, watched as he’d been tortured, inflicted some of that torture upon Peter himself, Peter knew Natasha was right, Osborn had to go. But that didn’t mean Peter wanted him to be in more pain than necessary.
“He’ll get rid of him quick right?” He asked her, to which she just nodded at him, “Good.” He stated before jumping down from the counter and walking into Natasha’s arms, to which she breathed out and hugged him back.
Bucky was exhausted, he couldn’t wait for the elevator to reach Natasha’s floor so he could just relax with his family. Tracking down Osborn was difficult, not half as difficult as finding Peter but still not easy, all Bucky had wanted to do when getting Peter back was stay with him and Natalia, but he had to make sure Norman was gone. Had to make sure Peter was safe from him.
When the elevator opened, he saw Peter sat on the counter in front of Natasha eating cookies that they must have baked together, but the moment Peter hears the elevator open his body tenses up as he puts his cookie down and turns to look at Bucky. At that reaction, Bucky’s eyes drift over to Natasha quickly nods her head, so Peter knew what he was off doing.
“You doing okay bud?” He softly asks Peter; he can imagine not. Right now, Peter seems fine, but this is usually how Peter deals with things, it hits him instantly, then he goes numb to it before he breaks.
“Is it done?” Is all that Peter asks him, his tone flat and detached in a way neither Natasha nor Bucky had ever heard it to be.
“Yeah bud, it’s done.”
“Was it quick?” Peter’s eyes showed Bucky nothing, he didn’t know if his answer would be what Peter wanted to hear but the truth was that it was, and so Bucky simply nodded to him. Peter seemed to let out a sigh of relief and looked back down “Good.”
“You okay?” Bucky asked him again, hoping that for once Peter would let them in without having to suffer alone any longer first, but he isn’t surprised by Peter’s answer.
“Yeah. Yeah I’m fine, I’m feeling a little tired though so I’m going to go back to bed. Night.” Peter doesn’t really give them time to react, swiftly getting down from the counter and walking to his room before he’s even finished speaking.
Once he’s out of the room Natalia walks over to him and he wraps his arms around her, he wasn’t here when Peter had woken up, but he knows everything. Knows he wouldn’t speak to her for a full day, wouldn’t look at her for longer, hearing Peter act like that broke his heart, he can’t imagine the pain Natasha must have felt witnessing it first-hand.
“We’ll figure it out Natalia, it’ll be okay.”
Wanda couldn’t help the guilt she was feeling, but she couldn’t help thinking this was her fault. Strucker was supposed to be dead and Wanda had just carried on with her life, not even questioning it and now he had hurt Peter. He had physically and mentally harmed one of her brothers, once again but she could have stopped this one. She should have known Strucker wasn’t dead, she should have felt it, she should have at least questioned his death, but she was too relieved when she had heard the news to have thought to do so and Peter had to pay for it.
That was all she could think of as she sat in her room, she had failed Peter, more than once. She didn’t notice his growing pain and she let the man who had experimented on her, torture Peter. Wanda wanted to see him, she had left him with Natasha because she needed to go be with herself to think, and she didn’t think she deserved to be around him after everything. But she had missed him so much and now he was so close, and she was avoiding him, so Wanda knew what she had to do, she had to apologise.
“Friday, would Peter be okay with me coming to see him for a little while?” Wanda waited for a couple of minutes, knowing that Friday was asking Peter before she could respond.
“He says you can Miss Maximoff.”
“Okay, thank you.” Alright then, Wanda grabbed the blanket she had bought the other week, she had seen the red blanket when she had gone out shopping and instantly noticed how soft it was. The other thing she realised instantly was that Peter would love it, they hadn’t found him yet when she had bought it, but she knew she needed to buy it, for when he was finally home. He was home now, and she could give it to him.
Thankfully, Natasha and Bucky weren’t around when she walked to Peter’s room, they were on the floor of course but Friday had told her he was hiding in his room, she saw the sorrow on Natasha’s face when Wanda was allowed into the medical room and she wasn’t, and she didn’t want to see that again. She understood why they felt that way, he was their kid, but he was her brother and so she was going to make sure he knew that, she had failed in doing it before. Now she had a chance to fix that.
Peter opened his door before Wanda even lifted her hand to knock, he looked exhausted and she couldn’t help the concern that began to bleed out, she knew Peter hated when they got concerned, he always said he didn’t need it. None of them ever knew if he always said that because he didn’t want them to be concerned, didn’t want to deal with it or if he truly believed that he didn’t need their concern. It hurt her to think that though, especially now knowing everything, their concern was justified and even in some cases not enough.
He tried to smile at her, but she could tell he didn’t really have the energy.
“Can I hug you Pete?” The moment she’d seen in him medical all Wanda had wanted was to wrap him up in a hug, but she knew in that moment he wouldn’t want it. If he said no, she’d back off, of course she would, but part of her still couldn’t believe he was in front of her.
“Yeah, but can you come in and shut the door, I don’t really want to leave.” So, she did. The moment that Wanda had gotten in the room and closed the door she turned back to pull him into her arms, Peter let out a tired chuckle at her actions but melted into the hug all the same.
“I’m going to say it now before I get into what I actually came here to talk to you about,” Peter pulled back a little at that, not enough to remove himself from her arms, but enough for her to see the look of confusion he was sending her. “I know you’re feeling anxious over what you wrote in those letters, about Nat and Bucky, even me, even if I didn’t have my powers, I know you Parker. I can’t tell you what they think of it all because I’m not them and it’s not my place to say but I can answer for myself. And Peter, you are my little brother in all the ways that it counts, I need you to know that I’m honoured you see me as your sister because you’ve been my brother for nearly a year now. And I know, with all of my heart, that Pietro would love you.” That was the moment Peter broke, he pulled her back in as he cried into her shirt, she didn’t care about that though, she had her brother back now. “I love you Peter.”
“I love you too Wanda.” Peter managed to choke out through his cried, to which she just held him tighter for a moment, allowing herself to bask in this moment. But she came here to apologise, and she needed to, she needed him to hear what she had to say.
“As much as I would love to stand here all day, because I’ve missed you so much it’s unreal, I need to apologise to you so can we sit down on your bed, please?” Wanda didn’t want to admit it, but she was scared, she could see Peter was too, but she had no idea if he knew, if he already knew and was waiting to blow up at her, or if he didn’t and she was going to hand him the final piece of information that would make him completely distance himself from her.
Peter sat down first, his fear clear in his eyes, she hated that she’d done this to him. Hated that she’d let him down so much.
“I need to apologise to you Peter, for a lot of things actually, can you please wait for me to finish before you say anything so I can get it all out there?” Peter’s fear was slowly turning into confusion, Wanda could see it in his eyes, but still he nodded at her. “Okay, well the most blaring part is that I should have known about Strucker, should have known that he was still alive, because if I had then this wouldn’t have happened. He wouldn’t have done those things to you. I’m sorry I didn’t make sure he was dead, because even before all of this happened it should have applied to me that I should make sure he was gone, but I didn’t and I’m sorry.” Her breathe hitched as she spoke, trying so hard not to cry and true to his word Peter let her speak, but he did slip his hand into hers, she knew he was trying to offer her some form of comfort. “The other things I want to apologise is not knowing about everything, with how you were feeling, the way May was treating you, you graduating from school and Osborn threatening you, I should have noticed all of it, we all should have noticed it and I am so sorry you had to go through all that on your own. I’m sorry that you didn’t feel like you could tell us any of it. I’m so sorry Pete, I should have noticed, I should have done something, I should –“
Wanda didn’t finish her spiral because Peter had barrelled himself back into her arms, clutching her tightly as it was now her turn to cry into his shirt, and just like her he didn’t mind it, he just clutched her tighter.
“I need you to listen to me now, alright Wand?” She tried to pull back to look at him, give him the same attention that he had given her, but he wouldn’t let her. “No, can you please just stay hugging me?” Wanda nodded at that, she could give him that, she would gladly hug him for as long as he wanted to. “Strucker is not your fault, even if you had known he was alive and had gotten rid of him, chances are this would have still happened. You not knowing that he was alive didn’t change anything, Hydra’s been hunting me before he even came back. Everything else you said, that’s on me, you can’t know something that I didn’t tell you. Please, try to let go of this guilt you’re holding onto because you’ve done nothing wrong.” Peter told her, finally pulling back enough that Wanda was able to look him in the eyes. “Now as much as I wouldn’t mind talking more about this I’m really tired, want to have a sleepover?” The smile Peter gave her at his question was enough to say yes on its own, that with the added fact she wanted to spend time with him.
Her brother was home, but Wanda knew him well enough to know he was hiding something, knew whatever it was that it hurt.