Chapter 19
“Hey Wanda.”
“Hello Peter. I’ve missed you.”
Hearing Wanda’s voice in his head made Peter want to cry, finally a voice that wouldn’t bring him pain, not that Tasha would of course, but none of the voices he had heard while after leaving and being taken were like this. None of them could speak to him from inside his head. He was safe. He was home.
So why didn’t he feel it. Peter knew where he was, knew none of the people in this building would lay a hand upon him that he didn’t want yet he was still waiting for the trick, for them to pull back the curtain and for him to be back on that table being experimented on.
“Helen told me that it’s possible for you to be moved to your room would you like for that to happen? Or would you want to stay here? We can arrange either it’s not a problem.”
“I want to get out of here.” Here. Peter had been here, in the medical room, for far too long. He only stayed in here for so long when something was truly wrong, and he was sick and tired of them being wrong.
“Of course, we can set off now. Are you comfortable in your clothing or would you like to change?”
Looking down at what he was wearing Peter thought he was fine, even if he didn’t, he doubts he had the energy to change. He just wants to leave this room.
“I’m fine can we just go? Can Tasha come with us?” At his question he saw Wanda smile at him, not looking high enough to see her eyes, enough to see her smile. “She told me she would wait outside.” He told her, fiddling with his blanket, “Did she?”
“Of course, she is, she’s been sat outside this entire time. She only left once before you woke up when Bucky came back so that she could go and clean herself up, other than that she’s been sat outside from the moment she brought you back.”
“Oh. Okay.”
“Come on then let’s go.” Peter climbed out of the bed when she said that and he followed behind like a lost duckling, he felt weak.
“Nat, come on we’re getting him settled in his room.” Wanda called out while she walked through the door.
Natasha looked shocked at that but followed them to the elevator anyway. What she was shocked about Peter wasn’t sure, that he wanted her to come with or that he was actually allowed to leave medical. He hoped it was the latter, he hated having her leave while he had to be looked over by Cho, but he didn’t want her to have to see his injuries more than she already had. He was Spider-Man he was fine, he could do this alone, but the entire time she was outside he had longed for her to be sat next to him. But he wasn’t a child, he needed to deal with it alone.
When they were actually in the elevator Peter began to panic, Friday was taking them down to Peter’s floor. Wanda must have sensed his fear because she turned back around to look at him, concerned.
“Peter, are you okay?”
“I don’t want to go down to my floor.”
“Oh, I thought you wanted to go to your room?”
“I mean I do. I just, well I, would you ask Tasha if I could stay in the room, the room that I used to stay in that’s on her floor?”
Understanding flooded Wanda’s eyes before she turned back to face Natasha, “Hey Nat.” Natasha eyes moved from Peter to Wanda as she hummed in acknowledgment, “Pete wants to know if he can stay on your floor, like he used to?”
For the first time since he had woken up Peter saw part of the tension release from Natasha’s shoulders as she breathed, turning to him. “Of course, you can Peter. Always.” Without even having to ask, Friday changed the destination of the elevator, going from Peter’s floor to Natasha’s.
Peter was home, he knew it, yet he still couldn’t feel it. Couldn’t feel safe.
Finally building up the courage, Peter reached out, tentatively grabbing Natasha’s hand, feeling a sense of safety flood into him as she gripped his hand back. Accepting his touch, welcoming it. Maybe this could become home once more.
Natasha wasn’t sure what to do with herself, she was happy that Peter wanted her to come with him and Wanda to take him to his room, but he also knew she was sat out waiting for him. There was no way Peter would have just left her sitting out there, also as much as she knew she would have to she didn’t want to just drop him off into his room and then leave him there. Peter hadn’t wanted her with him in medical, why would he want her on his floor?
Or so she thought she would have to leave him, watching Wanda turn to Peter, knowing they were speaking to one another, she hated that she felt left out. She was a grown woman, feeling left out wasn’t something she should be feeling, she should be dealing with. Until Wanda tells her Peter wants to stay on her floor, that was the room he wanted to stay in and for the first time since Peter had turned away Natasha allowed herself to hope once again, maybe he wanted to be close to her, maybe this could go back to some version of what it was before and of course she said yes.
The moment Peter actually reaches out to hold her hand is the moment Natasha allows herself to breathe clearly, gripping his hand back. He still wouldn’t look at her, but this was something, this was a start, he was literally physically reaching out to her.
A few moments of silence later the elevator reached her floor and Natasha for a moment felt the fear seep back in, she didn’t want to make Peter uncomfortable, but she also really didn’t want to let go. She finally has her child back and she didn’t want to let go, even if letting go meant dropping his hand, fearing she’d lose the connection and he would disappear once again. But he didn’t release her hand, only grabbing it tighter, did he feel the same way she did. Did he think she would disappear?
Wanda didn’t step out with them, instead turning to Peter, “Do you want me to come with? It’s no problem if you want me to or not, I don’t want to crowd you though.” There was a second of silence before Peter shook his head, most likely saying no to Wanda but then realising Natasha couldn’t hear him, to which Wanda smiled and waved at him before the elevator closed in front of them.
Peter’s grip on Natasha’s hand tightened just a little bit more, nothing close to uncomfortable seeing as his initial grip had been tentative, and he turned to look at her, well turned to her while still looking at the floor, that was okay she can work with this.
“Well then lets get you into bed, you okay with that.” Peter’s nod was quicker this time, no hesitance this time and so Natasha instantly began to walk to the room Peter used to stay in before all of this went wrong, she didn’t want to falter and cause Peter to freak out over his actions and wonder if he’d done something wrong. So she tried to not give him time to.
His room on her floor hadn’t changed since the last time he had been in there, Natasha was the only one who had gone in there and she refused to move or change anything, but that room was the only place where she had felt close to Peter for over a month while he was gone. Hopefully, seeing the room the way he had left it would make Peter feel safer.
Walking into the room she felt Peter falter, at first, she doubted herself, was leaving his room this way the wrong idea? But after a moment she saw how his shoulders fell and some of the tension fall from his body as he breathed out, and for the first time since he had woken up his eyes actually roamed the room. He looked at everything in his room as if he was seeing it again for the first time, perhaps in a way he was.
Natasha had to let go of his hand as Peter crawled into his bed, although she knew she didn’t have to she couldn’t help but tuck him in and make sure he was comfortable. Yes he was fifteen, she knew he could make himself comfortable enough to fall asleep but she couldn’t help it. Natasha needed to do it, she may have been stalling so that she didn’t have to leave him alone but eventually she had to.
Standing up Natasha wasn’t quite sure how to leave, wasn’t sure how she could just walk out of the room, but Peter continued to stare at the wall. Maybe she could begin to cook or bake something to occupy her time, Helen said that he needs nutrients so Natasha could go and do something to help with that, that sounded like a plan, once again checking that Peter was comfortable, she walked to the door.
“Tasha?” Hearing Peter’s voice Natasha swirled back around, his voice was quiet, but he’d gone from laying down to now sat up, once again fiddling with his blanket was looking down. Peter was nervous, that was clear, but Natasha could wait, she would wait for him forever if that’s what he needed. “This is going to sound really dumb, and you don’t have to if you don’t want to, but could you stay?” His voice was quiet, almost a whisper but the silence in the room made it clear.
Before he could even take it back, she immediately walked back to the bed, slow enough not to spook him but fast enough that he knew what she was doing, and Peter shuffled to the side, pulling the blanket down enough for her to be able to sit next to him. By the time she had settled down Peter had already turned around and went back to staring at the wall, but Natasha couldn’t sense the tension that had been in the room before, he seemed to finally feel safe with her sat next to him, so she wasn’t moving until he asked her to, not that she was going to anyway.
Natasha would sit here all night if he wanted her too, and for a few minutes that’s how they stayed. That was until she felt Peter shift, but when she turned to look at him, he was still, which made her think he was just shifting to make himself comfortable, until he moved again. Then again, until his head was touching her thigh, Natasha made sure not to move as she knew that right now Peter needed to choose what contact he wanted and when, to be perfectly honest she thought this was all he wanted, some slight contact to remember someone else was there.
Until he moved again, and Natasha used everything she had learned growing up to not react as Peter slowly laid his head on her stomach, curling his body to fit into hers as he gripped onto her shirt. Now she sensed fear in him, but now she knew what to do, he was worried he was overstepping, worried she didn’t want to offer him the comfort he needed, but she’d been waiting for over a month to comfort him.
Slowly Natasha lifted him up enough that she would be able to lay down next to him rather than sitting, the moment she lifted Peter slightly his body tensed up, so she knew she had to work quick. Quickly laying down next to him she manoeuvred him so that his head was placed under her chin and his body was tucked into hers, and at the moment Peter clung to her like a koala and began to cry into her shirt.
“I’m sorry Tasha.” He sobbed out to her while she tried to comfort him, wrapping her arms around him tighter he seemed so much younger in this moment. He was a child, he was fifteen but most of the time, with what he did he seemed older, the fact he went out and faced what he had to face made them forget how young he was. Natasha never forgot how young he is, but in this moment, it was clear, the way he buried his face into her shirt while he cried, his hands coming to wrap around her, trying to absorb as much comfort as he could, he seemed so much smaller than he ever had before.
“You need to listen to me Peter, and I will say this as many times as you need to hear it, you did nothing wrong.” Natasha whispered to him, continuing to hold him trying to calm him down, but also allowing him to feel what he needed to. “You didn’t do a thing wrong; you did what you thought you had to do to ensure no one got hurt. They threatened you and you didn’t react, which we do need to work on Peter, you deserve help okay, you don’t deserve danger, or hurt and what they did to you was wrong. It was the moment they threatened us that you moved into action, you wouldn’t allow anyone you loved to get hurt. You did nothing wrong and you’re home now, you did what you had to do to ensure we were safe now it’s our turn. Let us help you, let us keep you safe.”
Peter didn’t speak again after that, his sobbing taking over his ability to speak and so Natasha continued to hold him, holding him as tight as comfortably possible, trying to offer him as much comfort as she could as he fell asleep, her hand coming up to run through his hair, trying her best to ground him the way she knew how. Once Peter actually fell asleep, Natasha wasn’t sure how long she laid there before falling asleep with one thought in her mind; her son was finally back where he belonged. Now all they needed was James to come back home.