Come Home

It had been a month now. A month of radio silence after getting that one message from him. What did he mean by it? How could he not be in danger when someone is clearly threatening him?!

Natasha just sat there on her bed, her head against the wall just trying to figure out what on earth she should do. He said not to look for him, he said he would be in contact and then he went radio silent.

What does he need to fix?

Why couldn’t he come home? All she can do is sit there and remember when he was here, try to forget the gap he’s left behind, try to believe he’s just at school.

She’s unclear as to how long she’ll be allowed to sit here before one of her teammates come to get her. Try to convince her to do something, but she wants to stay here, if he’s going to bring her another letter then he wants to see him.

See with her own eyes that he’s okay.  

Eventually she was right, it’s Bucky’s turn today, he walked into her room and instead of trying to get her to speak he simply walked across to her bed and sat down with her. As soon as he was next to her Natasha moved her head to lay it on his shoulder and Bucky’s arm moved to wrap around her shoulder, they sat like this for who knows how long. Sat in silence just absorbing each other’s presence, all Natasha could do was close her eyes and try not to let her emotions overthrow her, trying her best not to break down.

After a while she felt Bucky’s head turn towards her and so she opened her eyes, the pain on his face made her desire to cry that much stronger. She knew he cared for Peter, she just wishes Peter knew it himself.

“I know you don’t want to do anything Nat, but you need to. Why don’t we go train? Turn everything you feel into anger.” He gently nudged her, “He wouldn’t want you to sit here moping about. You know he doesn’t want to see any of us, maybe he fears that if we try and convince him to stay that it’ll work. He wouldn’t give you a letter if he knew you’d see him doing it.”

Looking out across the window Natasha didn’t want to admit that he was true. Peter was out there; she knew he was. Turning back to James she decided maybe he was right, maybe Peter was waiting for her to move away so he could climb in and leave.

“Okay. Fine. Friday?”

“Yes Miss Romanoff?”

“If Peter comes in, unless he states otherwise, don’t alert any of us until he’s gone. I don’t want him to have to have to worry about hacking you again if I could just do what he wants. But will you let him know me and James are in the gym, that if he wants to see me, I would love to be able to see him too.”

“Of course, Miss.”

The two of them stood up, and before leaving the room Natasha glanced back at her window one more time.

Watching Natasha and Bucky leave, Peter gripped the two letters in his grasp a little tighter. Seeing Nat just sitting there hurt him. He knew she was waiting for him; he knew he had waited to give these letters way later than either of them expected but he needed to wait until he was completely sure it was safe.

He slowly made his way to her window, being covered by the shadow of the balcony above her room. As he opened the window Friday’s voice nearly made him jump off the side.

“Hello Peter, Miss Romanoff already told me not to alert anyone to your presence. However, she did in fact tell me to inform you that both her and Mr Barnes are in the gym, and that if you want to go there you are welcomed. She misses you Peter, we all do.”

Controlling his breathing, Peter had to squash his idea of going down there. Of running down there and letting them help. But he couldn’t.

“I know Friday, I miss all of them too. But I can’t okay? I have a letter for both Tasha and Wolfie, do you think I would be able to get to his room without being seen?”

Peter didn’t want to climb down the wall to get into Bucky’s room, it would decrease the risk of any of the team spotting him, but it was much easier, and quicker, to get to his room from inside the tower.

“From my viewpoint I would say it is very unlikely that anyone would spot you.”

“Okay great. Thank you Fri!”

Placing Natasha’s letter down on her pillow, he quickly ran out and made his way to Bucky’s room. Placing the letter down on his pillow and climbing out of his window before once again carefully sliding down the side of the tower.

It wasn’t until he was back onto the roof he had been occupying for the last month, where he could clearly see the tower and was close enough in case they were under attack but also far away enough that if they came looking for him again he would have some distance on them.

Peter angled himself so he was facing the tower, watching the light flicker on in Natasha’s room and then a minute or so later Bucky’s light also flickered on causing a smile to grow on his face.

While they were taking a break from training, Bucky from punching one of the solider bags Tony had specifically made which could deal with the strength Steve gained from the serum, and Natasha from the shooting range area, not missing a single shot, Friday’s voice rung through the room.

“Miss Romanoff, Mr Barnes Peter has left a letter for each of you on your beds.”

Natasha was out of the room before Friday had even finished, Bucky understood why she’d been waiting for something from Peter for a month now of course she wouldn’t waste any time getting to it.

There was a second though where Bucky just froze, he understood Peter leaving a letter for Romanoff, it was clear they were close before he ran. He was aware that Natasha had always wanted to be a mother but after the Red Room that was impossible, he also knew that she wasn’t aware that’s what she had become for Peter until after he left which really did explain the pain that she was in.

She didn’t realise she had exactly what she wanted until it was already gone.

What Bucky didn’t understand was why Peter had left a letter to him.

“Friday? Are you sure Peter left one for me?”

“Yes Sir, Peter dropped your letter off last before slipping out of your window.”

Oh. Okay.

When he was able to actually move his body he ran to his room, like Friday said sitting on his pillow was a single envelope with the name Wolfie scrawled across it in Peter’s familiar handwriting. He knew he should be careful, but he couldn’t help but tear the envelope open and pull the letter open needed to know what Peter could possibly want him to know.

Hey Wolfie,

I’m really sorry.

I know I’m a coward and I’m so sorry that I’m disappointing you, but I promise you that I’m trying. Please don’t tell Tasha, but I don’t think I can do this Wolfie. It hurts. I want to come home, but they won’t let me. He keeps saying I’ll make it out of this alive, but I don’t trust him. It’s a cat and mouse game and I just have to keep running.

I don’t know how to really explain it though, if I come home then he won’t stop hunting down those that I care about. I didn’t listen. I didn’t listen and Ben took the fall for it and I can’t do that again.

I know you could all help, but I’m scared it’ll go wrong, that you’ll fail and I won’t have listened and all of you will have to take the fall for it.

I need to fix this, and I will. I’m not sure how yet which I know is stupid, but I promise I’ll make you proud Wolfie. I promise you.

Take Care of Tasha please. I know she’s struggling.

PP.

Bucky just sat there on his bed staring at this single please of paper, he knew Peter was in pain, he knew something was wrong, but part of his brain was rejecting it. He hoped he was wrong, now he knew he was right.

Peter is in pain. Peter is hurt, and they still don’t know where he is.

They let him down. All of them, how could he ever think that Bucky was disappointed in him.