Chapter 21
It's another late night at the bar but Bucky doesn't mind too much. He hasn't minded it in a while matter of fact. When he works late nights he likes to picture Steve is working the same late nights-sometimes in the future, sometimes even now. He's not sure what Steve in his time would be doing now though and it's not like he could ask Sam, wouldn't want to raise suspicion. Sam did know, however, that Bucky was seeing someone and he respected Bucky's secrecy...reluctantly.
A group of men walked into the bar an hour ago and are still relentlessly flirting with Bucky. He's pretty used to it but since writing to Steve it brings him a different kind of feeling. He wanted his boyfriend to walk through the doors, flirt with him, and kiss him. Really shut up the customers that offered to get him laid. Definitely shock some people including his employees who thought he'd always be single and even in the change in Bucky, and him finally admitting he was technically seeing someone, they still believed Steve to not be real or jokingly say he's probably some chick on the other end playing a joke. Of course Bucky knew this to not be true but it's hard convincing people when you have minimal proof or proof that won't make you seem insane.
It's the 20th "Come on, (insert some sort of pet name here). You got a boyfriend?" To which Bucky always answers "Yes."
Sometimes the conversation stops there sometimes it carries on. Number 20 carried on.
"How come I never see him in here then, huh?" Another common question. Bucky usually goes with "he's very busy" followed by the fact Steve works in the ER or uses the long distance stance. This time he uses the first as he tops another customer's drink.
"Ohhh doctor, huh?" The guy carries on. "You like em with some money hmm. Maybe I'll got take the BAR exam, make a rich lawyer out of me. Or you could just take me on this bar."
The guy winks at him and Bucky wants to laugh because this had to be one of the worst flirting he's ever heard and he knows the only reason the guy gets away with it is because he is pretty attractive...not that Bucky was really looking. Plus messy flirting, especially relentlessly, was a huge turn off for him. If he was out and this happened he'd just leave but since he does work here he can't exactly do that. Of course since he owns the place he could kick him out but he was getting a good amount of tips and the guy and his friends were getting the top shelf shit so he lets it go. He's used to it by now anyways it doesn't bother him too much. Matter of fact the only part that does bother him is that the guy is right, Steve isn't here and it wasn't just because he's working late.
As the night progresses and it starts to get too much on Bucky. Again not so much the flirting just the potential for there to be someone, physically right there with you. And it's not that he'd change what they had he just wanted Steve with him, present, in whatever way he could. And he was tired of it. Tired of just being able to write, tired of not being able to tell anyone, tired of not being able to see Steve and feel him, hold him, and love him. He missed Steve in ways he never experienced with him. And he missed his words even though it had only been a few days since he sent his previous letter.
Things start winding down a bit and he lets his other workers know he's going to take off. Before he can ask if that's okay with them they tell him that it's all good with them and to have a good night. He supposes being the boss he wouldn't have to explain himself and perhaps he does more than a normal boss would in his position (and he's been told as such a few times) but he'll always feel guilty about leaving "early".
"You guys okay locking up?" Bucky asks.
"Of course, boss," One says.
"Yeah, Bucky. We're good," Says the other.
Alfie is still in the back helping Bucky with the shipment orders.
"Hey, I'm gonna head home," Bucky peaks his head in the door.
"Okay," Alfie says cheerfully. "See you tomorrow?"
Bucky smiles. "We'll see.."
"You doing okay?" Alfie asks innocently.
"Yeah. Why?"
"Nothing you just seem down. Especially after that group earlier."
"Oh yeah. I'm good," Alfie doesn't look convinced. "Just missing someone..."
Alfie nods."Sam been around?"
Bucky shrugs. "Here and there. He's been busy with his new practice."
"Oh that's right.” Alfie recalls “So the ‘missing someone’... its this guy you've been talking with then?"
Bucky is shocked by Alfie's sudden prying. It's not like him but then again maybe he was worried. Of all the people that worked with him Alfie was the one most aware of his struggles.
"Yeah. It's all good though” Bucky says quickly to not raise further concern in his coworker. “ It just sucks seeing all these guys and how easy it'd be to get with one of them when the one I want is...so far away," Bucky explains.
Alfie nods.
"But don't worry," Bucky assures him. “I think I have a plan..sort of."
"Gonna finally meet up with him?"
"In a way," He gives Alfie a confident smile but also lets him know he couldn't tell him more. "How much work do you got left?" He asks, noticing the papers spread about the desk.
"Ah not much. Maybe another hour or so," Alfie pushes papers around to make the desk look more organized.
“You can leave that for tomorrow or something if you want? Hell I can take it home with me in case I don’t stop by?” Bucky offers.
“Oh no no,” Alfie stops Bucky as he reaches down for the papers. “I got this. You head home.”
“You sure? I can take-”
“No trust me.” Alfie stops him again. “I just finished a cup of coffee so I’ll be wired for the next few hours.”
Bucky laughs. “Alright if you’re going to be up anyways.”
“Definitely. And if I don’t have something to do I’ll end up doing things you wouldn’t want me to do.”
“Like?” Bucky asks hesitantly.
“Like rearranging the whole bar,” Alife jokes and and light chuckle from Bucky follows.
“Yeah best to stick to that shipment then,” Bucky says walking back towards the office door. He hits the door frame softly. “Have a good night, Alfie.”
“You too si- Buck, sir. Bucky.”
There’s the Alfie he’s used to. Despite him working with Bucky for years he still has to remind him.
“I’ve told, Alfie. Just call me-.”
“Bucky! I know sir- Bucky.” He laughs. “Bucky.”
It’s not that Bucky scared Alfie or anything, if anything they were the closest to friends Bucky had with one of his coworkers, it was just that Alife had an issue with calling someone that was technically his boss by not only his first name but a nickname at that. Despite Bucky constantly reassuring him he didn’t have to call him sir, Alfie still does so.
Bucky shakes his head and heads back out to the bar. He says bye to his other workers again and walks out the door.
He makes his way back to the Lakehouse, beating his previous times. He wasn’t able to stop thinking about the idea that entered his head on his way back.
He quickly takes Jack out, Jack’s leash in one hand, a flashlight in the other.
He checks the mailbox, mostly out of curiosity, he was going to write his letter regardless if Steve sent him something or not.
He’s happy to find there is indeed a letter. He won't be able to read it in the dark with Jack attached by the leash in his other arm especially so he’ll wait until his dog is done doing his business.
The leash is a new thing, Jack started to wander closer to the road more often so Bucky thought it was time for a proper leash for Jack’s safety and Bucky’s worry. He had a little one during his apartment visit but that one was barely considered a leash. He pockets the letter and waits patiently for Jack as the dog walks over every spot of the yard before he finally decides on one, the same spot he peed in last time.
Bucky shakes his head amused at his furry companion and he steers Jack towards the walkway.
When they get inside Bucky lets Jack off the leash and watches as the dog runs to the family room and lays down right where he knows Bucky is about to sit. Bucky shakes his head again, amused at the animal.
“Yeah, yeah you know me so well huh?” He sits where Jack instructed him to and reads Steve’s letter.
The first part is the same old. How his week was, carrying on the conversation from the past few letters, asking about Bucky, talking about some movie he saw that they should watch for their monthly movie night. The second part saddens Bucky but warms his heart all at the same time.
Turns out there was a reason Bucky was feeling yearning for the physicality of Steve being with him instead of just through words, Steve was feeling the same way!
He describes how frustrating it is that he can’t just go look Bucky up and see him, regret at not remembering that fateful night of the party and not calling Bucky up himself. He talks in great detail all he would do if Bucky were there right by him.
Bucky can’t help it, he can’t wait. He finishes Steve’s letter, not even getting the time to put it away with the others. He quickly grabs a pen and paper and starts writing.
Steve!
I’m sorry this is so short I promise I’ll pen another letter carrying on the conversation but I just had to get this out. I too have been feeling the way you are. Having to hear everyone constantly talk about their significant other and what they did together and sitting here acting like I can do that when I can’t. Hell even hearing customers flirt with me makes me sad now (in a different way than previously) because I wish you were here to quiet them when they realize I’m taken. I’m tired of talking about you but not talking about you, you know. Anyways god get to the point Bucky! Umm so I think….FUCK IT. We should meet!
In your time of course but yeah. Just tell me a time, a place, ….a day. I’ll make a reservation for that night and ….2 years from now I’ll be there. Of course it’ll technically be me waiting for that long you’ll just have to wait a few days..or weeks or month or however long but I”m fine with that I just. I need something. This whole not knowing when...or if i’ll ever see you is killing me. So just….
Of course (GODDD) of course if you don’t want to do this I totally understand and there’s no pressure at all you know...but if we can’t do this maybe something because it’s killing me hahah. Well anyways I’ll mail this before I panic and tear it up and then I’ll probably send another one in a few hours. Hey look at me sending two letters like one of your first times you sent me something haha. Anyways I love you and always will regardless on your meeting decision <3
Love,
Bucky
He folds the paper up and runs towards the door, grabbing an envelope off the counter on his way out. Jack gets up to follow but Bucky is out the door before he even makes it past the living room.
Bucky, outside now with only the moon and the small streetlight lighting his way, runs back towards the mailbox. He stops in front of the box, his pulse quickening not just from the small jog. He hesitates, breathes in, and then throws the letter in the box shutting the lid before he can change his mind. He walks slowly back to the house thinking what to write in his other letter and trying not to think about what he’d do if Steve said no.