Chapter 20
As the months pass they find their way to their (technical) one year anniversary. Or rather the first time Steve got a very curious letter back from the resident of the house he had rented out. They aren't able to do much on the day, both too busy. Bucky, jokingly, expresses some regret at not saving his complicated date plans for their anniversary instead,especially since it falls on Valentines Day for Steve (the day after for Bucky). Since it was technically Valentines night for one and then morning after for the other they settle on the 15th for their 'official' day. They decide to both watch a movie together at the same time, this time Steve's suggestion: Princess Bride.
Bucky was almost afraid to admit to Steve he's never seen it when he sends the letter back to him. He's always heard wonderful things and has seen bits and pieces when it's shown up on his tv channel flipping but never sat down and watched beginning to end.
Steve goes from the movie just being a suggestion to a vital WE HAVE TO WATCH IT! at Bucky's confession.
So that's what they do. Watch one of the greatest movies of the 80's (Steve's unbiased opinion) and order take out, both sitting on the couch in the Lakehouse in 2 different years.
The movie ends and of course Steve had requested an essay from Bucky on why he did (or god forbid didn't) like the movie. Bucky delivers. Luckily it was the former so Steve didn't have to temporarily disown his boyfriend.
In conclusion, Bucky ends his letter. This really was a cute, hilarious, sweet movie and I'm immensely upset at myself for not watching it sooner but at least my first time was with you. :) Thank you. And I suppose it was ONE of the greatest movies (in the 80's) but my choice for that is still Indiana Jones (minus, of course, some of his questionable relationships).
Steve writes back his first memories of watching Princess Bride and agrees the Indiana Jones movies were great in their own right (and God a young Harrison Ford!). He suggests to Bucky that they do something like this once a month. At first suggests once a week but realized that'd be too hard to coordinate and he's also not sure if he'd be able to watch that many movies.
Bucky agrees that that would be a nice idea and asks him what he's doing the rest of the weekend since it was technically Friday for Steve (Tuesday for himself).
Sam is actually coming down for the week. Says he has some business on Saturday (won't say what and it seemed like he didn't really want to talk about it so I dropped it) but he did extend an invite for dinner that night or Sunday or at least to grab a cup of coffee. Hopefully I'll get to see him and catch up.
And avoid mentioning you somehow Steve doesn't write but thinks of as his pen hits paper.
That sounds like fun! Bucky writes in his letter back. Tell him I said hi haha. Steve won't. I, on the other hand, have another 2 days of work and then I'll be off a few days after. Nothing really planned. Just me, the lake, and Jack. Bucky was back to full time in the Lakehouse again but this time inviting people over...sometimes. He still enjoys the peace and quiet and being alone but also understands that's probably not best for him, especially after, well, everything. His Sam comes over a few times a month and spends the night or two. He still tries to get Bucky to like fishing, he doesn't. Steve asks him about his writing and how it's going but it's one of the few things Bucky keeps from him. He tells him it's going sometimes tells him it's going good but doesn't really detail it at all.
Steve sends Sam a quick message on Saturday morning asking what his plans are and what day and food option would suit him best. For a second he forgot the reason of Sam's visit and hopes he didn't send the message to him at an awkward time. It was still early though (7am) so if Sam was silent he could not be awake yet.
He gets a message a few minutes later.
Not sure when I'll be done today. Will let you know after.
He still doesn't indicate exactly what it is that will have him the whole day but Steve's not going to ask either, mostly for fear of upsetting Sam again. He'll also keep the dinner (or coffee) conversation pretty surface level. Just "catching up" talk: How've you been? How's work? How's the new city? Ect ect.
Steve goes about his day. He runs some errands, cleans, walks through some shops at the town near the lake house, then goes home and flips through tv. He orders dinner, a pizza, and puts on a movie. He finally gets a text from Sam around 8 asking if coffee or breakfast the next morning will be okay as he was trying to get a flight for Sunday night. Steve answers that that will work before he realizes that Sam is cutting his trip down much shorter than originally planned. He thinks to ask him why but figures he'd just mention it the next morning instead.
Sam texts back the name of a place for breakfast not going for their old usual place. It's fine Steve hasn't been back there either much. They settle on something closer to a brunch time.
Steve gets there first, granted it was a full half hour before Sam said, you never know if you need to get there early. It was out of the city more so it was possible to actually walk in there.
Steve orders coffee for himself and is about to wave the waitress over to refill for his second when Sam walks in. He doesn't see his face at first, he's asking the host something and the host points to Steve. Steve gives an awkward wave and Sam walks over. As he comes into clearer view Steve's heart warms at seeing his friend again. It's been a while.
"Hey Sam!" Steve says as he gets up. He holds out his hand for a shake and then shakes his head, what was he thinking? He pulls Sam in for a hug instead. Sam reciprocates.
"Hey, Steve," He says softer and gives Steve a small smile. That was very odd for him. Usually he was big smiles and cracking jokes as soon as he walks in somewhere.
"Good to see you," Steve says as he motions for Sam to sit down.
"Yeah. You too."
Their waitress comes as soon as Sam sits down and asks Steve it he wants a refill.
"Please," Steve says to her moving his cup closer. As she pours Steve looks at his friend, pretending he's reading the menu. Sam looks different, he looks worn, tired, maybe even sad. Maybe he had a lot of stress. Maybe this was supposed to be a vacation but he got called in, causing him to cut it short. Steve's not sure but something was definitely changed about his friend. Is this really Sam post Bucky friendship? Is this really something they couldn't have fixed? Or is it even Bucky at all? Sam did have a lot on his plate. Moving to a different city, getting a different job with a lot of different responsibilities than he was used to. Maybe it was just life.
"And for you?" he hears the waitress ask Sam, taking from his thoughts.
"Coffee for now," Sam says and gives her a smile. She fills the empty cup in Sam's place and tells them to call her over when they're ready to order food. They both look over their menus and a few minutes later read their orders to the waitress.
"So how's...everything?" Steve's the first to break into the conversation.
"It's," Sam stops. "It's okay. You know...or as okay as it can be."
Steve wants to pressure on but he's not sure how to read his friend anymore. "Just okay?"
"Yeah," Sam answers sadly and looks down, picking at his nails.
"Business not great?"
Sam breathes in, "No uh business is good or great actually. Just...personal things." He shrugs.
"Oh," Steve says. "You know you can always talk to me...about it or anything?" Steve offers. It shouldn't feel awkward. It was something he always offered to Sam, or Sam to him. Most of the time it was Steve needing to vent, mostly about Peggy.
"Yeah, yeah. I know..." Sam stops and Steve thinks he's not going to continue as he takes a sip of now his orange juice, his coffee was replaced with the citrus beverage. "It's just hard thinking about it...accepting it."
"I understand..." Steve says even though he's not exactly sure what Sam is talking about.
"What about you?" Sam asks, in a more cheery voice. "You seem happy. Or happier then when I left."
Steve starts beaming. "Well uh...yeah I am." Steve nods. "I guess I am."
Sam gives him a slightly bigger smile than before. "What's their name?"
Steve rolls his head back in fake annoyance. "How do you know it's someone? Maybe I found a dog?"
"You just got that 'I'm in love' heart eyes permanently chiseled on your face is all."
"Do not!"
"So...?"
"It's kinda complicated..." Steve says.
"How so?"
"It's a bit of a long distance thing, " Steve says, techincally it wasn't a lie.
"Long distance, huh? How far?"
How far? Oh just 2 years in the past is all.
"Well umm they're kinda ...behind in time...."
"Oh so like different time zone?"
"In a way."
"How far? Like 5 hours or 14? "
"14 is definitely closer."
"So you guys just think of a time to call when you're both up? Those ER hours work out in your favor?"
"No we umm....we write letters."
"Letters?" Sam thinks for a minute and nods. "Very old fashion of you."
"Yeah well. It has a sort of romance edge it too."
"I can see that," Sam nods again.
Just as Steve is sure Sam is about to ask more questions their food comes to their table.
"Well I'm glad you're happy," Sam says. "Maybe someday you'll actually get to meet them," He says and Steve must've given some sad expression on his face at the meeting mention because Sam quickly switched it to talking about how great the food looks.
Steve agrees and they both dig into their meals. Sam grateful saving him from the potential to bring Steve's happy mood down, and Steve grateful that he won't be able to reveal anything else about this mysterious pen pal.
They finish their meals both complimenting the chef when the waitress asks. She tells them she'll be right back with their checks.
"So you're leaving tonight?" Steve asks, wiping his mouth one last time.
"Yup. Got a midnight flight back." Sam says. "Why?"
"No I'm just surprised. Thought you said it'd be a week or so."
"Oh yeah." Sam scratches his head. "Well I was going to but then yesterday...kinda didn't want to be here much longer." He gives a wry laugh.
"You go by any of the old hangouts." Steve laughs at himself suddenly sounding like he was so much older than they were and as if old hangouts where from childhood not a few years prior.
"Yeah some. Went by the old apartment," Sam says and starts to say the address but Steve already knows which one he's talking about. The one where he technically met Bucky for the first time, if only he could remember.
"Oh yeah!" Steve sounds excited but Sam doesn't match his energy. "Thought you loved that place?"
"I did," Sam says. "Just...memories."
Steve is curious because he always thought the memories were good ones. Maybe this has something to do with why Sam's leaving so soon, or something to do with his feelings on Bucky, or both?
"Had some amazing parties there," Steve continues, hoping that'd bring Sam back to a better mood.
"Yeah," Sam comments, looking deep in thought now possibly trying to remember them.
"I was just talking to-" Steve stops himself. "Someone about one of the parties we went to."
"Oh yeah?" Sam ears perk up. "Who?"
Ah shit shit...who else was there? Who'd Bucky say he talked to besides him?
Sam eyes Steve curiously, wondering why it was taking him so long to answer who he talked with. "You probably don't remember," Steve says, ironic since he was the one that didn't. "H..umm… Clint! Ehem... Clint."
"Clint?" Sam laughs. "Clint is kinda hard to forget."
"Right...right." Steve laughs too. "Well to be honest I was forgetting a lot of people back then." Yes Steve. Joke about your alcohol problems from the past. That'll bring the mood up.
Sam nods. "That's fair. How'd you bump into Clint?"
"Oh I was just out with the guys," The guys being Dum Dum, Montgomery, Gabe, Jacques, and Jim. Sam knows this. "Must've seen him at a bar or something." Then Steve backtracks in case Sam still kept in touch with Clint or god forbid Clint was no longer here (both as in New York or as in ... alive. Things happen.) "Least I think it was Clint," Steve says. "I don't know it was a long day. But they knew you, recognized me from one of the parties, especially the first one you had in the new place."
"Ohhh yeah," Sam thinks and Steve catches a big smile escape his lips but only for a second. "That was a good one."
"It was," Steve recalls but for a different reason.
The waitress brings them their checks and let them know they take care of payments at the front. Steve and Sam put together money for the tip and leave that on the table.
After they pay they walk out of the resturant, each stuffing their hands in their pockets and looking at the other almost as if to find and excuse to depart.
"We should...stay in touch," Steve says. "I mean it was mostly my fault. I should've done better at getting back to you earlier on. Almost thought I was too late."
"No it's no problem. We're both busy." Sam says. "But you're right we should talk more. I hate being distanced from...people." It looks painful for Sam to get out and Steve's not fully sure why, but he has some suspicions. "I should take advantage of being around people I love while I still have them huh?" Sam says more quietly.
Steve just agrees, he doesn't push on. "Maybe I'll come visit you sometime?"
Sam smiles. "That'd be nice."
"You probably have to get going," Steve says, letting Sam go. "If I remember your mother at all she wants you to go by her place one more time before you go."
Sam actually laughs this time. "You're right," He checks his watch. "And yup I told her I'd be there in 45 minutes."
Steve laughs now because it was definitely going to take Sam at least an hour.
"Well I'll let you go," Steve says and pulls Sam in for a quick hug.
"Yeah, man. It was really nice seeing you."
"You too."
Sam pulls away, claps Steve's shoulder, and walks away.
Steve watches his friend go wondering what made his friend change so drastically? What made the friendship between his best friend and the man he loved fall away?