Goodbye my love
Peter flinched as the door slammed shut. He turned to face Morgan. “Mom and dad will be mad at him now. He was supposed to watch us.”
Morgan agreed. “Yeah. But now we’re all alone.”
“Maybe we should go look for mom and dad in the lobby.” Peter suggested since he didn’t like being alone. Especially without his parents.
Morgan shrugged. She jumped onto the bed and laid down, Peter followed her, lying down next to her and staring at the ceiling. She sighed. “Don’t ever go away again. I missed you so much it hurt my chest lots.”
It wasn't like Peter wanted to go away. He had no choice. “Sorry. I missed you too. Did Aiser miss me?”
“Uh huh. He just sleeps on your carpet in your room all day. He’s sad. He doesn’t even know where you are.” Morgan told Peter who immediately felt guilty.
“When we get home later today, I’m just gonna cuddle him all day.” Peter missed his dog so much. He missed his home and his family more than anything though.
“Daddy’s sad too. You made him sad. And mommy. She just stayed in your room the whole time.”
Peter felt incredibly guilty at that. He knew it wasn’t his fault but it still didn’t stop the strong guilt. “Oh. Well, maybe I’ll sleep with them tonight. I think I will. I missed them too.”
“I wanna sleep with them too.”
Peter didn’t want that. “No. You can’t. Only I can, you’ll just get in the way. I want to be between both of them.”
“Okay. That’s okay, Petey.” Morgan patted his head. It was her responsibility to care for Peter now since no one else was in the hotel room.
Peter rolled onto his stomach and turned his head to face Morgan. “What would you do if you never saw me again? If-if dad never found me and I stayed with them forever?”
“I don’t like that question. Please don’t ask me that.” The ten year old stuck out her bottom lip. She thought about it when that could have very much been the outcome and it scared her.
“I’ll tell you what I’d do.” Peter paused for anticipation. “I’d kill myself.”
Morgan sat up and crossed her arms. “I don’t like this conversation. I wanna talk about something else.”
Peter shrugged. “It’s true. I would run out in front of a truck and get hit by it. Or I’d drown myself in the bath but… he was always there, so I couldn’t drown myself.”
“Why are you saying that? Then I’d never see you again.” Morgan moved closer to her brother, she didn’t want to have to go to his funeral and watch them put him in the ground after only knowing him for four years. She wanted longer than that.
“Because… it’s true. If I couldn’t see you again or mom or dad or Harley, I’d just kill myself.” It was the truth. Peter considered it. He couldn’t go seven more years without his family.
Morgan hit him. “I’ll tell on you. I don’t like it.”
“I don’t care.” Peter sat up and narrowed his eyes at her, not understanding that Morgan was too young to hear her brother say those things. “That’s how I feel. Are you saying that my feelings aren’t valid?”
Morgan shook her head quickly. “I’m sorry. Don’t be mad at me.”
Peter laid back down and chewed on his thumb. “I’m not mad at you.”
“Oh. Who are you mad at then?” Morgan asked, lying back down.
Peter thought about it. He was mad at a lot of people. “I’m mad at Steve. And Bucky. And Ross, the one who took me from my school. It makes me feel… a bad emotion.”
“I don’t like bad emotions.” Morgan agreed with her brother. “Are Steve and Bucky nice? Do you love you like mom and daddy do?”
Peter thought about it. He didn’t know how to answer that question. “Um… no. They’re just fake nice. But I can only see it the second time.”
“But do they love you?” Morgan asked again since the first time went unanswered.
Peter thought about that question too. “Ummm… I don’t know. Maybe. Dad says it’s a different kind of love. But… I thought there was only one kind.”
Morgan perked up at that. “I know the different kinds of loves. One love is like how you love your friends. I love my best friend Maddy but… I could live without her and… and I wouldn’t cry everyday if I couldn’t see her no more. And I love you. But… I can’t live without you and I’d cry all hours of the day if I couldn’t see you no more and I would hurt someone if they tried to hurt you.”
That felt good to hear. Peter smiled. “I would cry all day and all night if I couldn’t see you anymore either, Morgan.”
Morgan wiggled her nose at Peter, causing him to giggle.
Peter then sat up. “Where is everyone? They should be back by now.”
Morgan sat up as well. “They went down to the lobby. They said thirty minutes.”
Peter checked the time on the tv box. “How long ago?”
“I don’t know. I can’t tell time.” Morgan shrugged and Peter glared at her.
“Really? I could tell time at like five.” Peter slid off the bed and looked for shoes but he couldn’t find any. “We should go find them. Maybe they’re waiting for us.”
Morgan followed him. “But… daddy says stay here.”
Peter grabbed her hand. “I’m not going alone. Come with me.”
Morgan hesitated at first but then she followed Peter out of their hotel room. They ran down the hallway and over to the elevator. When they got inside, Peter pushed Morgan out of the way to press the lobby button first. “I beat you.”
“Do you remember when we spent two months in Bali in that house in the jungle?” Morgan asked.
Peter didn’t know how he could forget. It was the best two months of his life. Him and Morgan spent the whole day by the beach and then the whole night in the pool then got carried up to bed every night. Peter would love to go back. Especially now.
“Obviously.”
“Well… I beat you every single pool fight we had so now, all your other wins are insignificant to mine.” Morgan crossed her arms over her chest so Peter pushed her just as the elevator doors opened up.
Peter stopped and looked around. It was a big lobby but it wasn’t that busy. “Where should we look first?”
Morgan shrugged. “Maybe the front desk?”
“I don’t see them over there. Let’s go check the pool.” Peter didn’t think their parents would be there but he really wanted to check the pool out so the two of them made their way down some hallways until they were at the pool. “Woah! It’s so big.”
When Morgan went to open the door, it was locked. “Do you have the key card?”
Peter shook his head then an older lady was walking up to them. “Excuse me? Are you kids lost? Where are your parents?”
Morgan gave the woman a dirty look and pulled Peter away. “None of your business, lady.”
Peter sighed. “I don’t even know where they are. We should go find some food. I’m hungry.”
“But we don’t have any money.” Morgan took a seat on a sofa couch in the middle of the hallway and Peter followed her.
“We’re lost. Now we can’t even get back into our room.” Peter groaned. They should have never left their hotel room.
“Peter? Morgan?”
Peter snapped his head and saw his mom and dad walking towards them, looking a mix of confused and angry. “Dad! Mom!”
Tony pulled Peter in for a side hug and looked around. “Where’s Harley? What are you guys doing down here?”
Peter shrugged. “Harley left. Me and Morgan came looking for you guys.”
“What? Harley left? Where did he go?” Pepper asked this time, sounding livid.
Both kids turned to each other and shrugged. Peter tugged on Tony’s necklace as he spoke. “He went to the hospital cause he forgot his phone there. I’m hungry. Can we get fries?”
“He went to the hospital?” Tony couldn’t believe it. He could not believe Harley.
Pepper wrapped an arm around her kids. It was scary that they were wandering the hotel by themselves.
Tony stood up and pulled out his phone. He knew Harley wasn’t going back for his phone, he saw Harley texting on it this morning.
What the hell was Harley up to?
“I’m gonna go get Harley while you stay in the hotel with the kids.” Tony ordered, grabbing Peter’s hand and pulling him to his feet but Peter was pulling him in the opposite direction.
“But I’m hungry.” Peter whined.
“We can pick out room service when we get upstairs.” Pepper told them, knowing they didn’t eat dinner the other day or breakfast.
Tony walked his family back to the hotel room and looked on the table for his car keys. “Peter, where are my keys?” He knew his kid had a habit of hiding car keys so no one would leave him. Now wasn’t the time for games though.
Peter pointed at the door. “Harley took them.”
“I swear, when I find him…” Tony said to Pepper in rage.
Harley was not only putting himself in danger but he put both of his younger siblings in danger. If Pepper and him hadn’t spotted their kids when they did, who knew what could have happened.
“Okay. You stay here with them. I’m gonna rent one of the hotel cars then.” Tony needed to get to Harley before he landed himself in jail trying to defend Peter’s honour.
.
.
.
Harley put his hood on and shoved his hands in his pocket as he walked down the hospital hallway, looking for someone.
He approached the nurses desk and took his hood off. “Excuse me, I’m looking for a man named Bucky Barnes. Can you tell me where I can find him?”
A nurse barley made eye contact with him. “What’s your relationship to him?”
Harley hesitated. “... I’m his son. He’s my dad and he was shot, I only just got here now and I’m really worried about him.”
“Can I see some identification?”
Harley hesitated again, pretending to feel around in his pockets. “You know what… I was in such a rush to get here that I must have forgotten. Can you just please tell me where I can find my father?”
“Sorry, sir. I can’t give that information away without some proof of relationship.” The nurse then grabbed some charts and walked off.
Harley mentally swore. He put his hood back on and continued to walk down the hallway, trying to find someone that could help him or find Bucky's room.
He just wanted to make sure no one was going to hurt his little brother again.
After what felt like an hour of walking and searching and his phone buzzing in his pocket about thirty times, Harley finally turned a corner and found two policemen standing outside of a room so he made his way towards them.
He didn’t know what he expected to see inside the guarded room. Part of him hoped it was Bucky so he could kill him but he wasn’t thinking straight. He would put himself behind bars and would be useless to Peter.
He turned around and walked down the opposite hallway, leaning against the wall to try and breathe properly and figure out what the hell he was going to do next.
“Fuck.” He swore, rubbing his face aggressively.
“Excuse me. Are you okay?” A gentle voice asked him.
He looked up and met eyes with a young woman, around his age. She had on light blue scrubs and her deep blue eyes were filled with concern.
Harley stood up straighter. “Yeah. Yeah, I actually just got called in to identify my fathers body. Can you take me to the morgue?”
“I’m so sorry for your loss. Follow me.”
Harley could not believe this worked.
He was starting to regret it as they got closer to the morgue. He had no idea what kind of laws he was breaking by doing this or what kind of trouble he was going to get this girl in but he needed to follow through what he came here to do.
He gave the name to the nurse and she was then opening up one of the morgues fridges, pulling out a body with a white sheet covering it.
Harley froze.
“Again, I’m so sorry for your loss.” She said before beginning to pull the sheet down to reveal the face that had been haunting Harley for his entire life.
Before he even knew what the man looked like, he was ruining Harley's life by kidnapping his baby brother and now, he was looking at the lifeless body of that same man.
He let out a sob, unrecognisable to himself.
It was over.
It was finally over.
Peter was finally safe.
Steve was dead.
Bucky was going to prison.
Harley wiped at his face and looked away from the body. He came here and did what he needed to do and now he wanted to get the hell out of that hospital and hold Peter.
He didn’t know half the stuff Peter went through or how this was going to change him but he wanted to be there for him.
So, Harley began walking out of the morgue, not really knowing where he was going but wanting to get out of there.
He walked outside, feeling like a complete zombie. He took a seat on the curb outside and put his head in his hands.
Time was irrelevant at that moment.
Harley didn’t know how long he was outside for when he heard a car pull up in front of him and he saw his dad walk out. He knew he was in shit.
Tony was relieved more than anything to see Harley sitting outside the hospital. He got out of the rental car and slammed the door. “Please tell me you didn’t do it.”
“Do what?” Harley knew what his dad was referring to but he wanted to hear the words.
Tony stood tall in front of him crossing his arms over his chest. “I don’t know, you tell me why the fuck you left your little brother and sister alone in the hotel room to come here.”
Harley remained silent.
“Do you have any idea how idiotic and irresponsible this was? Any idea?” Tony was full of rage. Not only for Harley leaving the little ones unattended but because Harley put himself in danger.
“They’re fine. They probably just bounced on the bed and dug in the mini fridge.” The twenty year old waved his father off, trying to downplay what he did.
Tony flipped. “They left the fucking hotel room and were wandering fucking barefoot in the lobby. If your mother and I didn’t spot them when we did, I don’t know what would have happened.”
“How’s that my fault. Peter’s fourteen and acts like a four year old sometimes. He’s… he’s more immature than Morgan is or ever was.” Harley lashed out. He felt bad for saying that but it was the truth. The sad truth.
Tony knew that. All their work together was destroyed in four days. He was well aware of that. “And who do you think is responsible for that?! Huh? Who the fuck do you think? Because it certainly isn’t your mom or I. You think I want to give my fourteen year old child a goddamn bottle? No. But I have to because he did that and Peter can’t cope without it now.”
Harley felt incredibly bad. It wasn’t like he was stupid, sure, what he did was stupid but he knew Peter was struggling mentally.
“I just needed to make sure they weren’t going to hurt Peter again. I needed to know that and see it for myself, not just hear it.” Harley explained to his dad but it was still difficult.
“You saw them, didn’t you?” Harley nodded. Tony sighed in remorse. He took a seat next to his oldest on the curb. “I’m sorry you had to see that. It’s never easy seeing the face of the people who’ve hurt your family.”
Harley learned that the hard way.
“Let’s go back to the hotel then get the hell out of this town.”
.
.
.
Peter was incredibly irritable.
It was making Morgan frustrated which made Pepper frustrated and then the whole car was tense.
Tony sat in between both of his kids in the backseat while Pepper drove and Harley sat in the passenger seat.
Peter kicked the back of Pepper’s seat for the fifth time. “Peter, enough already.”
Peter ignored his mom. He kicked the back of her seat again, not really knowing why he was even doing it. He wanted attention from his parents but he had both of their attention so he didn’t know what was wrong with him.
Tony grabbed his leg. “Enough. What’s wrong, Peter? Stop kicking the back of the seat.”
Peter arched his back, wanting to throw himself onto the car floor. He peeked over at Morgan and reached across to pinch her arm, waiting for a reaction.
“Ow! That hurt! Mom, Peter pinched me!” Morgan rubbed her sore arm and glared at Peter.
“Tony.” Pepper said since she couldn’t do much from the front seat while driving.
“Peter, that was rude. Morgan didn’t even do anything to you.” Tony pulled his hand away from his mouth which caused Peter to smack him. “Hey. Watch it.”
Peter leaned over Tony to see what Morgan was doing but Tony pushed his head back into the seat. “Morgan’s looking at me and I don’t like it.”
“Ignore it.” Tony was exhausted. He hadn’t gotten a proper night sleep since Peter was kidnapped again and it was really starting to take a toll on his body. All he wanted to do was change into pyjamas and fall asleep in his bed with Peter.
That’s probably what he was going to do when they got home. If they ever got home at this rate. They still had about two hours to go.
Tony grabbed Pepper’s purse and grabbed the bottle they bought for Peter last night and filled it with milk. Peter was already reaching for it before Tony even handed it to him and it hurt the father that the only way he knew how to get Peter to settle down now was to use Steve’s tactics.
Peter held the bottle up to his mouth with one hand and the other went to fiddle with Tony’s shirt as he laid his head on his arm but continued moving for the next ten minutes.
Tony expected Peter to fall asleep but that never happened so Tony had to keep Peter entertained for the remainder of the car ride. He knew the drugs were still working through Peter’s system and that it was difficult for the boy, along with his other emotions that he was going through so he understood why Peter was crying and irritable for those reasons.
By the time they arrived at home, everyone basically jumped out of the car to get away from the constant crying and whining.
Tony got out of the car and Peter followed him, grabbing onto his arm. “Why are you walking away from me?”
“I’m not, Peter. We’re home. Don’t you wanna go inside and see Aiser? He misses you so much.” Tony honestly forgot about their dog, Pepper was the one who had their neighbours feeding him and making sure he was taken care of while they were with Peter.
Peter suddenly stopped like he was just realizing where he was. He looked up at the house.
It felt like he had been gone for years when in reality it had only been a week.
In those long few days, so much happened and now he felt like a totally different person and he hated who he had become. He absolutely hated Steve for ripping him from his life and erasing all his hard work and recovery.
He didn’t want to go inside.
Peter fell onto the driveway and broke down. He couldn’t do this anymore. He couldn’t recover from this all over again.
Tony kneeled down and rubbed Peter’s back. “Hey, it’s okay. We’re home now, Peter. You’re home.”
Peter shook his head. He knew he was home but it didn’t feel that way. It felt like he was millions of miles from home and he had no one to bring him back.
Tony grabbed onto his hand and squeezed it, unaware that Pepper had told Harley to bring Morgan inside. She then appeared at Peter’s side but didn’t touch him or say anything.
“Let’s go inside together.” Tony went to stand up and pull Peter up with him but Peter only shook his head harder. “Come, Peter. We can go lie down and try to sleep. Just you and me. You’re home now, baby. Come.”
Peter was scared.
He was scared that this time, he wasn’t going to get better. He was scared that he would never be the same again.
He eventually managed to make his way inside the house, holding tightly onto his dad’s hand. Asier was there to greet him at the door but Peter felt guilty for leaving his dog so he couldn’t face him. He turned and shoved his face into Tony’s chest. “Wanna go to your bed.”
“I know. Let’s go up.” He shared a look with Pepper but no one said anything. She shook the empty bottle in her hand where Peter couldn’t see it. Tony shook his head, silently telling her not to give it to Peter.
In the hotel was one thing but they were home now. Peter didn’t need it and they weren’t going to give in. Hopefully not.
When they got upstairs, Peter pulled back his parents bed and climbed in, patting the pillow for Tony to lay next to him.
After shutting the curtains and the lights, Tony climbed into bed, lying down and facing Peter.
He loved Peter so much but his heart broke while looking at him. He could see how sad, angry and confused Peter was.
Peter shoved his thumb into his mouth and sighed in contentment. He reached over with his free hand to play with his dad’s necklace. “Can I have milk?”
Tony didn’t want the crying to follow once he said no but he had to say it. “Not right now.”
“In five minutes?” Peter asked around his thumb.
“Not today, Petey. You don’t need it, baby.”
Peter removed his thumb to rub both eyes. “I do. I want it.”
“I know but you don’t need it. You have to get used to not having it anymore.” Tony could see that Peter was still tired and he knew the drugs were still running through his system so he remained patient with him.
Peter screamed and kicked his legs so Tony sat up to get a better grip on Peter so he could flip him onto his stomach. “Stop screaming. It’s time to sleep now. Do you want me to get your blanket and teddy?”
“Yeah.” Peter watched Tony leave the bedroom and as soon as he was gone, he climbed out of bed and ran down the stairs to search for his bottle.
“Peter, what’re you doing?” Pepper asked, following him into the kitchen.
Peter rubbed at his eyes and opened the fridge to grab the milk carton. “I want milk.”
Tony walked into the kitchen, shrugging his arms at Peter. “What was that? You made a mad dash down the stairs.”
Peter tugged on Pepper’s hand, knowing she would give in. “Please. Just once. I-I can’t fall asleep without it.”
“You need to try first. I know you can.” Pepper went to put the milk back but Peter shut the fridge door.
“No! Please. Just-just once.” He rubbed at his eyes, more desperately this time. He was so tired but he needed something to help him calm down.
Tony grabbed a glass from the cabinet and filled it half way with the milk, pacing it in front of Peter. “Here. You can drink it from a glass.”
Peter pushed it off the counter and it shattered onto the floor, glass and milk going everywhere.
As bad as the behaviour was, Tony couldn’t be mad at him. Peter wasn’t in the right mindset right now. He was overtired which was why he wasn’t sleeping and still fighting the drugs in his system.
“Peter, that was unacceptable.” Pepper said with no real heat behind her words. She looked over at Tony as Peter cried tiredly. She wanted to give in and so did Tony. “Should I give it to him?”
Tony thought about it but he didn’t want to get into that bad habit and start it at home. “No, I’ll fill up one of the water bottles and he can have that.”
He opened up the cabinet and grabbed one of Peter’s old water bottles that he brought to school with him when he was younger or used during car trips. It wasn’t exactly what Peter wanted but it would have to do.
Peter watched with wide eyes as Tony filled it up. “Let’s go up now.” He lifted Peter over the mess and placed him back on his feet to head back upstairs.
Peter grabbed the water bottle from his hand so Tony let him have it and led Peter back into his bedroom.
He made a beeline for the bed but waited for Tony to lay down next to him before he tried getting comfortable.
Tony held Peter and tried to pretend like everything was okay, like Peter wasn’t just kidnapped again but he could only pretend for so long since he had to fix it now.
Once the milk was done, Peter threw the water bottle at the wall and kicked his legs out.
“Don’t throw things.” Tony warned but there was no threat behind his words. He didn’t have it in him.
This was going to be hard.