The Cabin

You woke with a jolt, the water in the tub flowing over the sides. Damn, the bathwater had turned your body into a raisin and you were fucking freezing. The only source of light was the moon outside reflecting off the snow that coated the ground. You thought you left the light on, did the generator shut down? Pushing yourself out of the bath and hoping it was near dawn, you peered outside, disappointed as the moon shined brightly. Couldn't be after 1am.

The dream replayed in your head, why did that specific memory bring itself to light? Bucky was stirring up all the muck that you had forced down when you left the Avengers and it was infuriating. You spent so long trying to forget about him.

The mutual respect you and Bucky had embraced after that day was palpable. He knew you were aware of the feelings he kept for his arm and he never held back on you during a spar. The atmosphere you two created was filled with light banter and allowed Bucky to come out of his shell around the others. Everything was starting to warm up around the tower, no more eggshells were walked on or broken around Bucky.

You were inseparable. Until that night.

“Uuuuuuuuuugh.” With a groan you dried off, threw on sweats and a sweatshirt, and crawled into bed, hoping the cold would wear off if you bundled yourself tightly enough with the blankets.

Of course, it didn’t.

The evil voice in your head cooed, “you knoooow Bucky is a furnace, he’d warm you up in a heartbeat.”

The wind picked up outside, making the window shake causing you to violently flinch. Your body started to shiver and reluctantly, you tossed the blankets away and grumbled your way to his room.

Coming to a halt in front of his door, you hesitated. Would this be too weird? You didn’t exactly end on a good note with him after dinner, maybe this was a bad idea. Yeah. This was stupid. As you were about to retrace your steps back to your cold dungeon, Bucky opened the door. Half asleep and hair astray, he stood in front of you rubbing his eyes. Damn his super hearing.

“Jordan, what’s wrong? Did something happen? Why are the lights off?” God, his sleepy voice was so raspy, it sent a shiver down your spine.

“Nothing’s wrong really, I fell asleep in the bathtub and the water got cold so I got cold and there's no heater because I think the generator died and my bed is freezing and-” he cut you off,

“So why are you here?”

Hesitation colored his words until you glanced down at his torso, itching to touch him as you could feel the heat radiating off him even though he stood a few feet away from you. Realization took over and with a smug look, he reached for your hand, tugging you into the bedroom.

“Come on, I don’t want you freezing to death.”

He lightly pushed you over to the bed before he crawled in and held open the covers with a pointed look.

“It's alright, I won't bite unless you think that’ll warm you up faster?”

“Bucky shut the fuck up and scoot over.” As much as he aggravated you, all sense of anger dissolved as you snuggled your face into his chest and he tightened the covers over your back. He hummed to himself as you shoved your leg between his, pressing your freezing toes to his calves. Your left arm slinked around his torso, sliding your hand under his shirt to press your fingers into his back.

The shivering began to subside as you matched your breathing with his. You stayed like this for a few minutes, neither of you falling asleep. The tension in his body hadn’t completely relaxed yet. He was having another internal battle with you in his arms, he knew you were freezing and wanted to warm you into sleep but the vulnerability of your position was too tempting for him not to finally speak his mind.

His face was in your hair before he slowly began to move it down to your face. For a split second, you thought he was about to kiss you and you were about to reluctantly shove him away until he began to speak with that honey, sleep-laced voice.

“I don’t regret that night we had. It was one of the best of my entire life. We finally crossed the threshold into the next step in our relationship and I couldn’t be happier to do it with you. You were always so good to me at the tower and you didn’t hold back around me and you made me finally feel comfortable with my new life.”

You were about to rattle off something childish but he clamped a hand over your mouth,

“Jordan seriously, just let me finish,” he clipped at you, sliding his hand off and placing it lightly on your cheek, thumb making slow circles.

“I finally had someone who was there for me no matter what, who took me for all that I was and didn’t make me feel ashamed of what I’ve been through. You… you helped me become the person I wanted to be. You were unapologetically you, and you allowed me to be unapologetically me.”

His voice was thick with emotion, more emotion than you had ever heard from him. He was silent for a few seconds before a deep breath rattled through his chest and he started again in a rush,

“I… you... I didn’t deserve that from you. I’ve done so much damage to so many people's lives, HYDRA made me into this thing that doesn’t deserve the kindness and love that you gave me, I was not- am not worthy of you and all the things you did for me, you were too good for me, I was going to fuck up everything we had built and I couldn’t-”

In one swift motion, you rolled him onto his back, straddling him as you placed both hands firmly on his chest, pushing him into the bed to keep yourself steady. Disbelief painted your face, and surprise his, and you took a few seconds to calm yourself as anger and sadness coursed through your body.

“So you're telling me… that you got up and left me after that night… and threw away our relationship… because you thought you weren't WORTHY?”

He stayed silent and stared into your eyes, his answer swimming in the steely blue holes in his stupid, handsome face.

Before he knew what was happening, you grabbed the pillow next to his head and started pounding his face with it.

“BUCKY,” smack, “YOU,” smack, “DUMBMOTHERFUCKER,” smack smack. Through noises of disbelief, he tried to grab the pillow away but you were relentless. Years of pent-up anger and aggression finally spilled over as you finally knew the reason why he left you and it was so stupid that you couldn’t put down the God damn pillow.

With a grunt, he grabbed the pillow from you and rolled you over so he was on top of you, effectively pinning down your arms. The pillow fell off the bed with a sad, final smack.

“JORDAN oh my GOD, why are you hitti-”

“BECAUSE YOU ARE THE MOST IGNORANT MAN I HAVE EVER MET,” you yelled in his face. Silence coated the bedroom, tension filled the air, and Bucky looked like you just doused him with ice water.

“Wha-”

“Bucky. Listen. Don’t you think that maybe I treated you the way that I treated you because I wanted to? None of that “oh Bucky, you deserve kindness because of what you’ve been through” bullshit, but actual, real, genuine feelings of friendship? I treated you like you were worth it, not because of the shit you went through, but because I liked you. I thought you were nice and quiet, and a good person so I was kind to you. No “because of’s”. You don’t deserve kindness because you went through something terrible, you deserve it in spite of that. You are not your trauma.”

His grip loosened on your wrists, your face filled with such genuine, rough emotion as he absorbed your words.

“I can’t believe that is the reason you thought you had to walk away. And you didn’t think to talk to me about it. Hadn’t I shown you that I liked you for you? Was I not clear enough about my feelings for you when I asked you to come into the bedroom with me that night. Bucky we had such a solid friendship, we understood each other and I respected you so much and I loved you-” you quickly cut yourself off when you felt him slightly tighten his grip on your wrists, and you started again, “I loved the relationship we had. I’m sorry if I ruined it by asking you to come to the bedroom with me that night-”

He effectively shut you up with a searing kiss, his mouth heavy and desperate as it stole the remaining words off your lips. The sudden heat of the gesture shot directly to your core, igniting the fire you thought would lay dim for the remainder of your sexual encounters. A gasping moan escaped from your chest and he took advantage by tonguing your open mouth. It was messy and breathless and so fucking hot.

He pulled away too soon, holding himself back in an attempt to be the bigger person and actually talk to you instead of fucking your brains out. His full body weight was crushing you with each ragged breath he took, his eyes light with desire.

“Jordan… I’m so… I’m sorry,” he finally stuttered out. “I didn’t know… I’m still not sure how to... properly express how I feel without getting freaked out.”

“Bucky… I probably shouldn’t have left after you shut me out, I should’ve tried harder-”

He cut you off again with another open-mouthed kiss, this time wrapping his flesh hand around your throat.

Breaking away, exasperated, “Jordan, I swear to God if you try to apologize or justify my shitty actions one more time I’ll-”

“You’ll what?” You teased out, “choke me harder?”

His eyes darkened and his hand instinctively tightened, cutting off the blood to your head for a few seconds before he slowly released you. He started to talk again before you cut him off,

“James… I’m pretty sure we’re on the same page right now with our feelings so I need you to shut up and kis-”

For what you’re hoping was the final time, he cut you off with a kiss. This time it’s hard and to the point; touching comes now, feelings later.

The kiss unraveled into a messy, loud, wet disaster of a make-out session. Your legs wrapped tightly around his waist, fingers wound in his hair, desperate for friction as his hands were everywhere. They traveled up your back, around your shoulders, in your hair, back down your back, grabbing your ass, raking fingernails over your thighs. His grip moved to your hips and he ground his length into your pussy, eliciting from you the breathiest version of a moan you’ve ever heard.

This flipped a switch for him and he immediately took control.

“Too many clothes,” he groaned out as he sat up and pulled his shirt off, his abs taught and tan. The short hair coating his chest hit differently as you noticed he's far more chiseled than the last time you saw him. In your ogling, he impatiently forced your sweatshirt off to find you shirtless and braless underneath. For a moment, you remembered that you’re skinnier than you used to be, that your breasts have shrunk and your curves have disappeared-

“Ohhh fuck,” you breathed out. Lusty haze took over your insecurities as he bent down and took your right nipple between his teeth, it disappeared as he swirled his tongue around it. A low ache began in your abdomen, shockingly fast, and he tugged on it before releasing it, his breath coating it in a cold shock and goosebumps erupted up and down your body. Your back arched, still desperate for some sort of friction as he began to slowly move down your stomach, kissing and licking and sucking every scar on your torso, worshipping them.

When he looked up at you from the waistband of your sweats, all sense of resolve you had broke.

“James please touch me- I need you- fuck I need something-”

He peeled down your sweats in one swift motion, throwing them to the side, to find you’re also not wearing panties. God, him kneeling over you like that made the knot in your abdomen tighten, he looked so possessive and dangerous and your pussy absolutely throbbed at the sight.

“God sweetheart, look at you. You’re fucking incredible,” he moaned out, eyes not leaving your center as he grabbed your leg and began kissing down your calf, to your knee, to your thigh, your breath coming out heavier and harsher with every movement downward until he finally, finally met your-

The most disgusting noise left your mouth as he took one long swipe with his tongue up your pussy, reveling in the taste of you. He couldn't help his eyes rolling into the back of his head and he groaned as he finally got to taste you again, the vibrations sending little shocks to your core. You bucked at the sensations and he harshly forced your hips to the bed with his metal arm slung over your stomach, the coldness shocking and deliberate. It was like he’s the last man on Earth, and your pussy was his last drop of water before he’s sure to die from dehydration. The man was devouring you, not letting a single drop of your arousal go to waste. That tension in your abdomen traveled up your torso into your chest and bloomed into your arms and legs and you knew you’re close he just needed to-

“James, fuc-” you cried as one hard suck on your clit and an inserted finger sent you over the edge, your body jerking and twitching against his arm as he lengthened the orgasm with another finger, moving with the motions of your body. The broken tension sent heat pulsing through all your extremities and you couldn't feel your feet anymore and his metal arm was warm against your body and you finally came down, his fingers slowly leaving you and you attempted to slow your breathing.

Opening your eyes at a new sensation, you watched as he trailed his sopping wet fingers up your torso, licking up the arousal they left behind. He did this all the way up to your mouth before he placed his fingers on your bottom lip,

“Open,” he cooed and you happily obliged taking his fingers in your mouth, the taste of your arousal summoned another heatwave, and a soft moan vibrated in your throat. His eyes glossed over, and he’s in possessive mode again, efficiently pulling his shorts and underwear off to reveal his monster cock.

The view was so erotic.

He sat back on his haunches between your legs, eyes dark with lust, mouth slightly parted, heavy grip at the base of his cock as he slowly racked his eyes down your body, slow breaths expanded his chest. He’s towering over you and he did the thing you’ve been waiting for. He started fucking talking.

“You did so good coming for me like that, do you want another one?” He’s purring at you and all you can do was nod as you felt yourself get even wetter.

“Let me hear you sweetheart, tell me you want another one- tell me you need it.”

“Fuck, James please- I need it,” you almost hated how desperate you sounded, not that you could help it, and he let out a clipped whoosh of breath at your plea.

“God, you’re so good for me,” he’s leaning down over you, “I haven’t had anyone since you doll face,” he’s on you now, his tip brushed your entrance and you gasped, “I haven’t wanted anyone but you,” he glided his cock over your entrance, readying himself with your slick. He pressed into you by an inch and stilled. You locked eyes for half a second and you’re about to ask what’s wrong when he firmly pushed all the way in, bottoming out, eliciting loud moans from both of you.

For a long moment, you both laid there, panting heavily, feeling every inch of each other, feeling the familiarity and security you’ve both desperately missed.

His movements started slow, he’s basking in the sensations and noises you emit, wanting to drag more out and make you beg for it. He hiked one of your thighs up, wrapping his hand under your knee, and pressed deeper inside you, hitting that spot over and over and over again, the sounds coming from you absolutely pornographic.

“Cmon’, let it out baby- fuck, let me hear how good I make you feel,” his accent growled out harsh and thick, impossibly turning you on more, and the slick of your pussy squelched as he thrust into you hard.

The familiar tightness returned to your core when his metal fingers pinched your left nipple a little too hard and you cried out, only to have him capture it in his mouth as he crashed down to your lips. His thrusts became more erratic and rough and you knew he’s getting close, but as he moved his metal fingers from your nipple to your clit, the coldness juxtaposing the heat of your pussy, the tightness traveled up to your chest once again.

“James- fuck, I’m close, I’m close- fuck yes, James-”

“You feel so good Jordan, fuck I’m gonna-”

You both come hard and loud. The heat exploding in your chest is met with hot ropes of him being shot deep inside you, his body jerking on top of you, and his desperate moans in your ear. Your feet go numb again and your mind goes blank except for the white stars dancing behind your eyelids. The tingling doesn't leave your abdomen for a long time and his arms don’t stop shaking until well after that.

With a moan and a gasp, he pulled out of you, both sets of fluid wetting the sheets. He flopped down next to you, breathing still uneven and you see him turn to look at you in your peripheral. You face him and you stare at each other, unmoving, for what seems like an eternity. The room slowly silences as the breathing slows.

He’s the first one to speak.

“So... is it time to talk about our feelings now?” You can feel the guarded edge in his voice so you roll yourself over to him, slinging your arm around his chest and leg around his stomach. He wraps himself around you and you feel those walls break down.

“We can talk about it tomorrow Buck because it’s time for sleep,” you murmur, sleep slowly taking over.

You felt a soft chuckle rumble through his chest and heard him whisper,

“Sweet dreams, my love.”