vacation
Steve came to the rescue a few days later, taking Bucky back to the tower, and you back to your apartment. The following days at the cabin had been filled with sex and pasta, but no talk of feelings. You both enjoyed the days of seclusion and didn’t want to ruin any semblance of forgiveness.
Your mission was ultimately called off by Steve, it was too close a call for you to go back out into the field. The White Raven disappeared, and you were nothing short of happy about it. While being in the field again was exhilarating and rejuvenating, the new scar that showed on your back was a reminder of the dangers you wanted to leave behind. Your exposure to Bucky also served as a reminder that you really didn't want to go back to work in the tower. Being alone with him was loud and messy and sexy, and you wanted to keep it to yourself.
The two of you didn't get a chance to talk about your feelings or what your relationship had turned into, but the look he gave you as he left the jet was nothing more than resolution and acceptance, hardening his face. It pulled a little at your chest but spending 2 days fucking Bucky Barnes would make anyone want more.
As you made your way into your little apartment, you collapsed into the couch, absolutely exhausted. The past few months took a lot out of you with the mission and Bucky and healing. All you wanted was to fall asleep for 3 weeks and wake up a new woman. Maybe you'd take a vacation. When you left the tower, Tony made sure to send you off with enough money to keep you stable "for a few years," but it could probably keep you afloat for pretty much the rest of your life.
You took your notebook out from the drawer of your coffee table and flipped to your destination page. When you lived in the tower, You and Natasha made a list of places you wanted to visit someday without the threat of terrorists or a mission or any type of disturbances.
DESTINATIONS!!!!!
Switzerland
Belize
Moracco
Rome
New Zealand
While your eyes glazed over imagining all the alcohol and hot men you'd drink up, a sharp rap rap rap sounded at your front door. God damn, one day of peace, that's it. That's all I need, you thought as you lugged yourself to the door. You pulled it open without looking through the peephole and were surprised to find Bucky standing there. You checked your watch,
"Jesus Bucky, it's been less than an hour and you already miss me?"
He looked up without any humor and your amusement promptly dissipated.
"What is it?"
"Can I come in before I dump my feelings on you?"
With a cringe, you let him in. You figured the, "we need to discuss what happened" talk was coming but hoped for at least a few more days, if not weeks before that happened. Hopefully, you'd be in Belize by then. Huh, guess it's decided, Belize it is.
"Listen Jordan, we never talked about what was going to happen with us once we got back and-"
"Buck, I'm gonna stop you right there. I get it," he quirked an eyebrow, "we had fun in the cabin but it wouldn't work because those feelings we had were 5 years old and-"
"5 years old?"
"Uh... yea?" Were they not 5 years old? Does he actually still-
"I still have the same feelings Jordan. I wouldn't have said or done all those things if I had moved on. I made a mistake shutting you out. And I'm not going to make that mistake again. If you don't feel the same anymore I get it, but I wanted to not be a dick and actually communicate with you what I was feeling. I'm sorry if this is weird and cringy but... what?"
The look on your face stopped him in his tracks. He still had feelings for you? The pull in your chest came back, but it held a different feeling.
"You still have feelings? I thought you- or well we- were just horny..."
His face fell as he took in the gravity of your words... so you just wanted a fuck. Alright. He turned to leave, disappointment radiating off his body,
"Okay I get it, I'll leave now. Hope the best for you Jordan."
Wait what- oh SHIT.
"WAIT NO, FUCK, BUCKY!!," you lunged towards him and grabbed his arm, "I just meant that I didn't know there were feelings behind the sex. I had those feelings too. I just didn't want to ruin the next day with you, we were finally not fighting each other and-"
"You have the same feelings?" He cut you off, surprise taking over.
"...yeah Buck, of course. You were my best friend. It's kinda hard to get over that. And well, of course, the sex is amaz-"
He took one step forward tightly wrapping you in his arms, lifting your feet off the ground, causing you to shriek and wrap your legs around his waist. He held you for a few seconds before drawing back and gripping your cheek,
"So you like me, and I like you?"
With a blush, you nodded. A grin took over both of your mouths.
"Will you come back to the tower?"
Your grin faded, his shortly after.
"Bucky... I don't want to go back. I didn't like being in the spotlight 24/7 and I like my little apartment and I want to get a low maintenance job and just enjoy the rest of my life-"
"Okay okay, I get it." He slowly let you down, his hands finding the curve of your shoulders and neck, his thumbs gently rubbed your cheeks. For a long moment, you stared at each other.
"What if you... stayed here with me?" You asked hesitantly.
His eyebrows jutted up with surprise, "you want me to move in with you?"
"If you want to... I want this to work between us. I... I like you Buck. I want us to work."
His eyes glazed over for a beat, the intention behind your words clear as day.
"Okay listen, how about this," you started, attempting to distract from what you actually wanted to say, "I want to take a vacation, well, I need to take a vacation. Come with me. We can go away from all this for a while and just be with each other, no distractions. Then we can talk about it again, okay?"
He rocked back and forth on his feet, swaying both of you slightly.
"Where to?"
"I was thinking Belize?"
"Belize? Hmmm..."
He was silent for a moment, pondering his decision. Your eyes racked up and down his face as he thought. His eyes left yours and they were scanning the windows to your back. They were red-rimmed you noticed, had he been crying, or did he not sleep well at the cabin? You had a lot of sex, but you still got your fair share of sleep-
"Okay."
"Yeah?"
"Yes." The smile returned to his face and he looked down at your pink face and leaned in, giving you the most gentle kiss you've ever experienced. There was no urgency behind it, no aggression, like all the ones you shared at the cabin. It was firm and gentle, full of promises and love. It left you breathless.
When he pulled away, he touched his forehead to yours and you stood, slightly swaying, for a few minutes until he placed a small kiss on your forehead and pulled away.
"So, when are we leaving?"
----
3 WEEKS LATER
When the final plane landed back home, you were exhausted, the I just had an amazing vacation type of exhausted. The trip was amazing, the beaches warm, and the alcohol tasty. You and Bucky didn't talk about the implications of your relationship, you just lived in it. Everything came easy to the both of you and it was the most relaxed you had been in years.
The drive home was quiet and comfortable. You both decided spending the night at your place would be the easiest, and when you got to your apartment, you threw down all your suitcases and slumped to the couch with an oof.
It took about 5 minutes for either one of you to break the silence.
"Want to take a shower with me?" You asked, turning your gaze on him.
"Of course," he sent you a small smirk before you threw a pillow at him.
The shower ultimately ran its course without any inappropriate activities. He washed your hair for you which was a surprisingly intimate gesture. You let yourself lean your back into his front as he massaged your scalp and down your neck. You repaid the favor, though it was hard as he was so much bigger than you. With lots of laughs and burning soap in his eyes, you both got out of the shower and crawled into bed naked.
"Jordan?"
"Bucky?"
"I'd love to move in with you."
You jerked up on your elbow, "Really?"
He gave you a small, tired smile and pulled you down to his lips, placing a gentle kiss on the corner of your mouth before whispering, "yes, my love," in your ear.
Before you could stop yourself, you threw yourself on top of him and placed hundreds of tiny kisses all over his face. He giggled at your affection and grabbed your face to force you to kiss him on the lips. It started out gentle, but you felt him quickly grow against your damp center, reigniting the fire you had been tending while you vacationed in Belize. You ground down on him and he grabbed your jaw harshly, breaking the kiss,
"Someone's excited," he hissed as you pressed down again, coating him.
"How could I not be James, I'll have you underneath me whenever I want," you said with a pointed look.
He swiftly flipped you over, pinning you to the mattress. Instead of kissing you like you were expecting, he loosened his grip on your jaw and slid his hand to your cheek. His eyes burned with a new look as you squirmed underneath him, blushing suddenly at the intensity. He shifted slightly to press his cock firmly on your clit and your breath hitched. He watched you like a hawk as he kept moving ever so slightly, giving you the smallest amount of friction before pulling away.
"God, you're so beautiful," he said as he dipped his thumb into your mouth, "I could do this to you for the rest of my life."
When you wrapped your lips around his thumb and sucked, his cock twitched and he dipped his head slightly, eliciting a long moan.
"Fuck, Jordan, I'll never get enough of you." He took his newly wet thumb out of your mouth and dipped it in between your bodies, skillfully finding your clit while looking back up at your face. He circled your nub before sliding his middle finger between your folds, coating his cock with your arousal. The breathlessness of your moan was quickly replaced by a guttural cry as he pressed into you with ease. His torso shook when he bottomed out, his left arm reaching up to grab your wrist and trap it above your head.
"James, God, you're so good- you feel so good-" your words died at your lips when he started slowly moving, each thrust as gentle as the next one, his eyes never leaving yours. That same intensity was there and you felt your body heat up at the fire in his eyes. He was moving too slow, you squeezed your pussy around him, his eyes rolled into the back of his head as the air left his lungs.
He quickened his pace, your bed frame hitting the wall at a steady pace. His hand made its way back to your clit before you ripped your wrist from his grasp and rolled him over so you were on top, the sensation overwhelming. He hit that spot when you started moving, started grinding on his waist. His hands found your hips as he helped move you, back and forth before bringing you up and down on his cock. The sounds were slapping throughout the bedroom, your cries loud and dirty as his hand felt for your clit. The familiar tightness in your abdomen built up, tightening your pussy around him. His resolve was breaking and he pulled you down to him, bringing his hips up to meet yours as he fucked you from underneath.
The tightness expanded into your chest and arms and legs as his thrusts became more erratic. Your hand slid in between your bodies once more, only needing a singular touch to your clit before the tension snapped and you bit down hard on his shoulder as the heat shot to your fingers and toes. With a groan, he released into you, grunting dirty Russian words into the air as you rode out his orgasm.
When you could feel your feet again, you raised your head to meet his eyes. He was already looking down at you with a weird expression on his face.
"Why does your face look like that?" You croaked out.
"Mmmmm... I have something to say and I'm not sure how you're going to react..." He seemed nervous which was an interesting look.
"Well spit it out Buck, I need to go pee-"
"I love you- I'm in love with you, Jordan..." he said in a rush, his arms tightening around you like you were going to run away from his words.
"Oh... my God," you said with a start, your heart threatening to beat out of your chest.
"Jesus, that's not what I wanted to hear-"
"I fucking knew it! You love me!! HA, Bucky Barnes loves me-"
He pushed you off him, astonished at your exclamation.
"Jordan, what the fu-"
"Oh James, I love you too-" you cut yourself off by reaching over and kissing him hard. He smiled into the kiss and grabbed your face with his hands, deepening the kiss with a relieved sigh while rolling over on top of you. When he broke away to look at you, his eyes were shining with happiness.
"I've known for a while, I just wanted to see if you were going to say it before I did," you told him with a mischievous look. He gaped,
"Jordan, what the Hell. That's so mean," he said without any malice before kissing you again.
"I don't care, I love you, I love you, I love you, James Barnes."
Before you both fell asleep, you whispered back and forth I love you's until you were sure your dreams would be filled with nothing but each other.