He misses it some days, mostly on the days he misses Bucky, which is to say, most days.
Steve misses being small, misses the way he fit in Bucky's arms, against his chest, head tucked beneath Bucky's chin as they cuddled close.
He misses the feeling of safety it gave him, the warmth he got from Bucky being wrapped around him so completely, a warmth he hasn't felt since he watched Bucky fall, his hand so close and yet so far, too far.
Steve hadn't fit right after the Serum, not really, and neither had Bucky, his torture at Hydra's hands changing him. He'd held Steve just a touch too tightly, Steve could handle it but Bucky hadn't held him the same way after the Rescue, Bucky had held Steve like Steve would disappear if he loosened his grip even the tiniest bit.
Steve sometimes things that they might fit together just right now, like they had before the Serum and the Torture, because sometimes Steve felt like he was drifting, away or with the flow of the tide he wasn't quite sure but he could use Bucky's tight hold to ground him.
Don't get Steve mistaken, he liked being healthy, liked that he could walk down the street without his lungs rebelling, loved that the slightest cold weather didn't send him to bed with a wet cough settled into his lungs.
He liked that if Bucky were with him he wouldn't have to worry if this sickness would be the one that had him digging a grave.
But Steve hated that the Serum had kept him alive in the Ice when he should have died, when he had wanted to die.
When he had wanted to join Bucky in Heaven or Hell, whichever God decided, it wouldn't have mattered as long as they were together.
Perhaps that was why Steve lived, a punishment for all his wrongdoings, a life without Bucky was more Hell than eternal damnation and torture could ever be.
Steve sighed as he looked out the window of Stark Tower, where Tony was letting them stay while they got used to being a team.
Sometimes he just missed Bucky and the way he had fit in his arms when he was small.
But mostly he just missed Bucky.
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A/n: okay, first , don't get mad at me, second just me wondering if Steve missed being small or not and thus this practically wrote itself.
Third as I was writing this I thought of another idea, but I feel like it would or should be a long fic and I don't have the energy to write a long fic so I'm going to put the prompt here and if it inspires you then go forth and write, but let me know, I might want to read it.
Anyway, prompt thought: what if it wasn't SHIELD that thawed Captain America, i mean they all expected him to be dead so they had a little ceremony and a coffin and what not.
Only Hydra now had the means to research and recreate the Serum they failed to retrieve so long ago and so they Steal Steve's body.
What they did not expect was the man to revive, which that is not really a downside to them.
Que some medical torture and research and the usual Hydra nonsense.
And then they wake the Winter Soldier who at first thinks nothing of the blond hair man laying strapped to a medical bed insensible until he begins to recall memories about the man that he does not remember making.
Thus the Winter Soldier decides to rescue Steve and they end up at Stark Tower for whatever reason and Tony is just like 'WTF is going on here, you're supposed to be dead'.