A Call
“So, I had to find out Booms and the furball fucked on camera two years after the fact because none of you yabbos thought to mention that little tidbit to me?” Todd asks as he exhales a plume of smoke while pacing the roof of Tabby’s apartment complex.
He’d slipped out for a smoke after their human puddle on the sofa broke up, snatching up his Bluetooth and phone along with his papers and tobacco. Tabby’d given him a wave from where she was slouched over her computer chair editing footage in he and Kurt’s temporary bedroom/her actual office. Kurt had shot him a mildly scolding look from where he was still dick out on the couch rifling through some kind of file he wouldn’t tell either Todd or Tabby more than a few words about. Todd had hopped out the window with a two-fingered salute, calling that he bought his shit organic, thank you very much.
The shadows were just beginning to stretch with the lazy late afternoon sun when Todd got the other Brotherhood boys on the line. He knew looping Wanda in would just be grounds for a zap on their next meeting, and having both twins on the phone in conversations about sex was a party foul that understandably earned an angry earful from them both and potentially a sudden, unpleasant visit from the speedster. There were some lessons Todd only needed once.
“I thought Tabby told you?” Lance asks, having the nerve to sound genuinely confused.
“She did tell him, I was fucking there, how shitfaced were you that night?” Freddy says voice creeping into that tone he’d get when the other Brotherhood members refused to put their shit in the hamper as kids.
“I didn’t think she was serious!” Todd says, “She says you fuckers have seen it!”
“I am not discussing my porn habits with you dweebs.” Pietro says, fast enough the words stack up on each other, and it’s a confession without saying anything.
“Then how did you know so much about that one scene Gav was talking about when you two got in an argument about whether or not Wagnerd counts as a fucking Daddy that one time?” Lance asks, and Todd chokes in his inhale laughing.
“Excuse me? Lancelot was your boyfriend arguing in favor or against Daddy status?” Todd asks, thumping his chest.
“A Daddy named is not a Daddy embodied.” Pietro says with a huff.
There’s a muffled voice on the line and then suddenly Shatterstar’s voice comes loud over Lance’s line, “A Daddy by any other name is still a tender top, Quickie-boy. We’ve seen that bitch live in person and at least three people at that party were ready to drop the ‘D’ word, the second he put that growl in his voice and gave them the fucky eyes.”
“Babe!” Lance yelps with a laugh and there’s the wet smack of a kiss and a more distant call of “Later boys” as Shatterstar makes his exit.
“Lance, your taste, man.” Freddy says laughter under the words.
“Is impeccable I know.” Lance replies, sounding smug.
“You went to an orgy with Nightcreeper, Lancelot?” Pietro asks, which Todd appreciates because now he doesn’t have to.
Todd can hear Lance rolling his eyes, “Star wanted to tag along when Kurt mentioned having an invite. They’re interdimensional sword fighting bros or whatever. It’s not like I fucked him, bro code, you know?”
“I don’t get how bro code’s a factor here.” Todd says, hopping up on the edge of the roof to look down the long slope of Tabby’s street, watching a bus wend its way up before disappearing around a corner.
“Toddles.” Pietro says in that tone that suggests Todd is both extremely gifted and extremely clueless.
“Dude, you two spent the last two years of high school circling each other like horny piranhas. Don’t act like it wasn’t a thing when you probably still have his fucking cum on you right now.” Lance says.
Pietro and Freddy make a horrified chorus, sounding like they’d sat down on the bus only to find the seat soaking wet. When Todd’s pointedly silent, biting his lip to keep himself from laughing or snapping out a defense with all the fortitude of a wet Kleenex, Pietro’s voice hits that high affronted octave it’d get when they started riffing on him for being a Daddy’s boy as kids.
“I have no idea what gave you that impression, Lancelot, I might have showered before calling.” Todd drawls, stubbing out the remains of his cigarette and flicking it into the bucket full of butts in the corner of the roof.
“Oh God, this is your post-sex voice isn’t it? I just thought you were stoned.” Pietro yelps like he wants to drop his phone and Todd cackles.
“Like you’d take that much time when you’re wanting to chew us out.” Freddy says right as Lance goes, “Because Tabby sent a bunch of goddamn eggplant emojis with that weird drunk face one in the Brotherhood group chat and I know both you and the furball are crashing at hers.”
Todd feels a little thrill of pride run warm down his back, the ritual announcing of a nut in the Brotherhood chat was reserved for particularly noteworthy occasions. “Tabby’s job involves fucking hot people on the regular, what makes you assume I was part of that emoji announcement?”
“Quit acting like the smugness isn’t radiating through the phone, T.” Freddy says, but Todd can hear the smile in his voice.
“Is there any other purpose to this call other than to yell at us for shit you already knew about and expose us to your post-sex radiation, Toddles?” Pietro asks right as Todd hears a familiar thunderclap behind him.
“Tabby sent me to get your order. She wants to get takeout because we fucked all day without eating and she doesn’t want either of us to faint.” Kurt says, waving his phone at Todd as the shorter mutant twists around from his perch on the ledge to look over at the blue mutant.
His stomach flips at the sight of Kurt wearing his tank top, likely rescued from the depths of the couch. Kurt’s just tall enough that it hits like a low crop top on him, and the cut open sides revealing more than they really cover. He’s got on the shorts he was wearing earlier, but from the looks of it hasn’t bothered with underwear. The hand not holding the phone holds one of Tabby’s fancy glass tupperwares, with what looks like chocolate chip cookies in it. The blue mutant has crumbs in the fur around his mouth.
“Oh my god, that’s the furball isn’t it?” Pietro says in Todd’s earpiece, and the amphibious mutant bites his lip to avoid laughing, “Now I have to know his post-sex voice too.”
“Like you didn’t already?” Freddy mutters in a sotto voice and Todd snickers. Kurt’s ears flicker and then he catches sight of Todd’s Bluetooth earpiece.
“Oh, sorry, I didn’t know you were on the phone.” He says, tail looping at his feet as he pulls his hands back, but Todd waves away the concern before the blue mutant can port away, taking cookie access with him.
Todd makes grabby hands at the Tupperware, hopping the distance between them, plucking the container up as soon as he’s in reach. Kurt laughs as Todd yanks open the lid and groans at the smell of sweet chocolatey heaven, and the guys chatter on the phone.
“Do not start round whatever while I’m still on the line.” Lance says, and Freddy makes a choked noise as Pietro hisses.
“Shut the fuck up, that’s at least five bucks a minute, Lancelot.” Todd says around a mouthful of cookie.
“Oh it’s Lance? How’s he and Gav?” Kurt asks, and Todd’s stomach twists as he considers that maybe this was a bit weird of a phone call to make right after a threesome.
“Uh, it’s actually the whole Brotherhood, 'cept Wanda and Tabs obviously.” Todd says, wincing, “I may have called them to bitch them out for not telling me about the porn thing.”
Rather than look offended, Kurt busts out laughing, and Todd’s shoulders relax before rocketing back up to his ears at the blue mutant’s next words, “Dude, Tabby told you! That is on you, mein freund.”
Kurt’s loud enough this close that the others can hear him and Todd’s treated to heckling from the guys as they point out the blue mutant’s taken their side.
“How the fuck was I--” Todd starts before cutting himself off, eyes studying the gravel rooftop “Sorry, I probably should have asked before calling them, they figured out what the three of us were up to.”
Kurt wraps his fingers around Todd’s wrist, thumb rubbing gentle circles on the soft skin of his inner wrist. He waits until Todd looks up at him, and the amphibious mutant’s heart skips a beat at the softness in the other mutant’s eyes, “I mean, I’m not here to judge you on talking about your porn habits with friends, dude.” Those molten gold eyes take on a harder, mischievous glint and Todd’s heart hammers for entirely different reasons, “I mean, it’s not like you gave them a play-by-play about how long it took us to find a position to fuck on the ceiling right?”
Todd grins back as the guys gag and spit on the line, biting his cheek to keep from cracking up, “Nah, I only got to that trick you showed me with that Norwegian thing Tabby has.”
“Alright, I’m out.” Lance says on the line, right as Pietro makes that high irritated noise he does whenever one of them is deliberately obtuse and Freddy goes, “I know you’re lying, but I still am haunted by images of what that lie might look like.”
“None of you fuckers can talk, Freddy is the only one of us that manages to keep his shit discreet, barring that one time one of his girlfriend’s got so loud she blew out all the windows in the place we were crashing at.” Todd drawls, smirking at the way Kurt’s eyes go round and the blue mutant bites his tongue and grins. Freddy’d given them all permission to share that one after he’d gotten over his initial embarrassment, and Todd made a point to drop that one often for the way it made the big mutant duck his head to hide that quiet, proud smile he got.
“S’not a big deal, y’all know that was just her powers.” Freddy says and the others all snort, Todd can hear the smile in his voice.
“Well, it’s not a mutation that every girl you’ve ever dated tries at least once for another ride on the Frederal Express.” Pietro says and Todd shrieks loud enough that Kurt jumps next to him. The blue mutant shoots him a baffled look, but Todd shakes his head.
“Welp,” Freddy says, popping the ‘p’, “I’m gonna go head and let y’all go, glad you’ve found the porn you already knew about, T.” He drops off the line and Pietro follows, but Gav grabs the phone from Lance before he can hang up.
“Tell Kurt he owes me a fucking duel!” Shatterstar shouts and the line goes dead, Todd yanks his earpiece out with a wince, turning to Kurt with a raised eyebrow.
“You owe Shatterstar a duel?” He asks, shrugging his shoulders, and Kurt laughs.
“I broke his winning streak when we bumped into each other in Miami.” He says with a grin, holding his phone out to Todd, “C’mon, I’m starving, pick something.”
Todd trades Kurt the cookies for his phone, snatching another out with his tongue before he lets the container go.
He takes the other mutant’s hand to port back inside as he scrolls through the menu, “Alright, but you’re telling this story over dinner.”