Revelations
Todd chokes on a bite of just to one side of overdone pasta, hacking as he bends in half over Tabby’s coffee table. Kurt leans over to thump him on the back while Tabby just grins at him with a mouthful of noodles, like the wicked benevolent witch she is.
“You didn’t tell him?” Kurt asks, his hand still a warm pleasant weight between Todd’s shoulder blades.
“Of course I told him! Years ago like, two months after we first did it.” Tabby says.
“We were fucking shitfaced, I thought you were bullshitting me, yo.” Todd says, finally sucking in enough air that he can speak again, “Why the fuck would I believe you and fuzzy here did porn together?”
Kurt has the gall to look offended, leaning back from Todd with the same pout he’d worn years ago when Todd told him his cropped fuzzy sweater made him look like a sesame street muppet. Which it did. It also made Todd want to run his hands all over the blue mutant’s torso, see if he could tell where the sweater ended and fur began with just his hands, but Todd never told him that.
“If you think blue’s not the type, then I think you’re missing some memories from that last year with good daddy Mags.” Tabby says, and this time Todd and Kurt both choke.
“Please never call Magneto that again.” Kurt says, gulping from his red wine like he’s trying to drown the phrase from his brain.
Tabby shrugs, unrepentant as she swirls her own drink with a giggle.
“Do the other X-Geeks know?” Todd asks, swiveling his head back and forth between Tabby and Kurt. He half feels like he passed out in front of Tabby’s TV and this is just the prelude to some montage reel of all the wet dreams he’s had in the last six years.
Wrong question to ask. Tabby sucks her teeth. She holds out a hand and wobbles it in a so so gesture, swiveling her head in sync with the motion. Kurt’s face turns thunderous, something bitter in the way he sets his jaws.
“They do.” He says, an ocean drifting underneath those words.
Kurt stares into his mug of wine like he’s about to debate with it, before very deliberately setting it down without drinking. Under the table, Tabby bumps his knee with her own. Todd swallows, darting his eyes over to Tabby in a question.
“Not everyone was great about it.” She says.
“Meaning Scott was a huge dick about it, and I will probably punch him in the face if it comes up in conversation.” Kurt says, stuffing a bite even Todd would struggle to fit into his mouth.
Todd grimaces. He could count the number of times he’d heard Major Lazer swear on one hand, and any time sex had come up in Brotherhood X-Geek gatherings, the guy had sputtered like someone chucked him in the deep end of the pool.
“He did always seem like either he had one of those full rubber face masks hidden in his closet or he was a full sex with the lights off missionary dude.” He says.
Kurt shakes his head, the movement jerky and harsh.
“He thought I should go to counseling.” He says.
Todd laughs before he can help it, hand flying to his mouth. He shoots Kurt a wide-eyed look, but the blue mutant gives him a wry smile in return, not angry.
“Doin porn is what made Lazer Face suggest you need therapy?” Todd asks, struggling to keep his voice even, “Nothing else before that point might have seemed like a more significant red flag?”
Tabby is giggling, listing over to lean against Todd’s shoulder. She smells like oranges and something a little sharp and smokey, the familiar musk of her sweat underneath. Todd leans back into her without thinking, huffing a laugh.
Kurt props himself up on his elbows, the memory of anger slipping from his face as he smiles at the two of them.
“Nope.” He pops his lips on the word, “Apparently being abducted by a malevolent government agency after spending years in some weirdo's child army pales in comparison to willingly getting railed on camera for money.”
“We can’t tell the difference between good attention and bad attention, Todd.” Tabby says, her eyes cartoonishly round “Did you know that?”
Kurt laughs through his nose, a long high pitched sound before he buries his face in his hands, snickering as he mutters, “Eselhengst.”
Todd jerks with a laugh, “Well shit, Tabby-cat, I thought good attention was when a client gives me $100 off the top, and bad attention was when they try to get shit for free.”
Kurt waves a hand in the air, “No, no, good attention is when people like your shirtless instagrams, bad attention is when you make them pay for them.”
“You’re both wrong. Good attention is when men on the subway ask me to give them a smile. Bad attention is when they drop $200 an hour for me to dump mealworms all over their dick.” She says.
Both men fall silent and turn to her as one.
“Why do you have the coolest job?” Kurt says after a moment.
“Because when Cyclops tells me I need therapy I tell him to shrink his own head first.” Tabby says.
“I imagine after you mentioned the porn thing his head really needed shrinking.” Todd mutters into his cup.
Kurt snorts his drink, spraying red wine over the table. He purses his lips and glares at Todd, who leans back and watches him utterly uncowed.
“I can’t imagine he’s seen it.” Tabby says.
Kurt shoots her a look that speaks volumes, “Oh, I wouldn’t be sure.”
“How many of the others even know?” Todd asks.
Kurt waves a hand, “Everyone important. Wait, you did tell the rest of the Brotherhood, ja?” he asks, glancing at Tabby.
“Of fucking course, their reactions are framed in the gallery of my mind.” She says, then points at Kurt, “I guarantee you Pietro’s jacked off to that one scene where that twink calls you daddy.”
Todd screeches, a laugh that rolls through all of him, shaking Tabby against his side. Kurt attempts to twist his face into a disapproving scowl, but breaks into giggles, slouching forward so his hand bumps Todd’s on the table.
“Why must you make me consider these things?” He asks.
“Todd. Todd. Tell me I’m wrong.” Tabby says, “Does Pi or does Pi not, lose his shit anytime a dude with a deep voice makes eyes like this and says, ‘hey’?”
She tilts her head, lifting her chin to look down at Todd with heavy lidded eyes. She drops her voice into a husky register that short circuits Todd’s brain a minute, and he forgets she’s asked a question.
Kurt drops his face into his hands, his laugh somewhere between hilarity and embarrassment.
“I do not sound like that.” He says.
“You totally fucking do and it’s hot as hell. Which you’d know if you fucking watched it.” Tabby says, leaning over the table to bop the back of his curly head.
“You haven’t watched your own fucking porn?” Todd asks, turning to look at Kurt.
“He’s watched every other scene in the collection but the ones that he’s in.” Tabby says, voice hinting this is an old argument.
Kurt folds his arms around his head, face down on the table. After a moment he turns his face up to the other two, something raw in his eyes. He shrugs.
“Doing it was easy, and I don’t regret it.” He says, “But watching myself feels…” He trails off, waving a hand over his head.
“I get that, dawg. Don’t want to pass out from nutting over yourself that much.” Todd says.
Kurt’s eyes go round like twin moons and he makes a noise somewhere between a giggle and a yelp. Tabby collapses into Todd, clinging to his shoulders as she howls with laughter.
“Our boy’s too scared of having to confront the reality that he’s hot enough to drop panties within a five block radius.” Tabby says, resting her head on Todd’s shoulder.
Her hand absently trails up and down Todd’s side, nails a hard pleasant line through the thin fabric of his tank top. He laughs softly, but reaches out to place his hand over Kurt’s running a webbed thumb over two furred blue knuckles.
“Want us to hold your hand as you watch the scary scary porn?” Todd asks, question slipping out before he can think of it.
“Want us to hold your dick?” Tabby adds and Todd jostles her. She jostles him back, unrepentant.
Kurt looks up at them through thick dark lashes, his face shy in a way that sends Todd reeling back to afternoons hiding away in faded bean bag chairs in the old lab, or stolen moments behind the bleachers when they should have been in class. He feels Tabby sigh against him and imagines the look hits just as hard for her.
“Is it weird that I want to say yes?” Kurt asks.
“Because in the grand scheme of knowing each other, watching porn together is definitely the weirdest shit we’ve done.” Todd says.
“Yes to handholding or dick holding?” Tabby asks, her hand slipping down Todd’s arm to join his on top of Kurt’s.
That shy look, shifts to something coy, something deliciously sharp creeping in underneath the softness, the likes of which danced in the corners of Todd’s dreams since he was fifteen.
“Yes.” Kurt says.
----
The next afternoon, Tabby rolls herself over the back of the couch the other two mutants are sprawled on, a clear plastic bin about half the size of a milkcrate rattling in her hands.
“Gooning time, my lovely bitches.” She says.
She lands between the two men, holding the box aloft like it’s the holy grail. Todd catches a glimpse at what looks like a snake’s nest of vibrators and dildoes, a packet of condoms, at least two lube bottles, and a couple things that look like eggs tangled in among the bright silicone and plastic. Kurt snorts at her.
“Is this an interactive viewing?” He asks, catching Todd’s eye over her shoulder.
Todd feels a thrill of anticipation skitter up his spine like fingertips.
“You did say yes to hand and dick holding.” Tabby says, then glances between the two of them, “If that still sounds fun.”
Todd shrugs, “First time for everything.”
Tabby looks delighted, “Why Toddles, you’ve never jerked off to porn with someone? I’ve left this critical gap in your education.”
Todd shrinks down into the couch a bit, ignoring the way his face heats up. There’s a tug on his ankle, and he glances down to see a blue tail worming teasing the hem of his sweatpants, warm and secure.
“My first time too. At least watching myself with anyone.” Kurt says, smiling at the amphibious mutant like Todd’s not the only one with a thrill of butterflies in his chest.
Tabby tugs them both closer to her, so they end up collapsed in a puddle on the couch.
“We aren’t watching the entire thing at once anyway. This is just a test run.” She says. “If we aren’t feeling it, we stop.”
The remotes in her hand, but she makes no move to start the show until the other two hum their agreement. Todd leans into her, pressing a kiss to her shoulder where her wide neck shirt has slid down. Kurt kisses the top of her head, his arm snaking around Tabby’s shoulders, hand finding Todd’s shoulder and squeezing softly.
“That goes for you too.” He says, placing his hand over hers as she holds the remote.
Todd squeezes her knee in agreement, running a thumb over the blond hairs on her leg.
Tabby huffs, “Okay, yes, yes. Tabby gets to have feelings too.”
“Always, beautiful.” Todd says, pressing a kiss to her neck, Kurt hums his agreement.
Tabby sighs, the sound familiar from lazy mornings tangled up in blankets hidden under trees and stolen kisses hiding from hall monitors. Kurt slides his hand down from her wrist to wrap around her waist and they all snuggle into the sofa a bit deeper. She tilts her head, pressing her lips to Todd’s ear.
“Get ready to never hear Kurt’s ‘serious voice’ without popping a boner, again.” Tabby says.
Kurt snorts, pink tongue darting out to lick Tabby’s neck. She scrunches up between them, giggling as she half-heartedly elbows him.
“Too late, I already have that problem.” Todd says.
He dares a glance at the blue mutant and catches Kurt giving him that coy burning look through his lashes again. Something tender and unbelieving lurking underneath that heat.
Tabby sighs, shifting to scoop them both up under her arms as she leans back. Todd buries his face in her neck, breathing her in. Kurt ducks lower to avoid headbutting the amphibious mutant, nuzzling his face into her side.
“Eye fuck each other later, darlings.” Tabby says, “The show is starting.”
Then she hits play.