Weird Language
"Hey, uncle Steve, watcha making?" Peter asked, walking into the kitchen.
"Just some breakfast, you want any?" Steve lifted the pan off the stove so Peter could look.
"Nah, I'm in the mood for pop tarts, but thanks," Peter answered and opened the pantry. The box was on the top shelf since Thor was the one who ate the most pop tarts. Peter stood on his toes, pushed the spaghetti boxes out of the way, and grabbed the pop tarts. His fingers grazed the other boxes on his way down, and everything came down.
Peter chuckled. "Hurricane Katrina? More like hurricane tortilla." He knelt and picked up the boxes, stuffing them back in the pantry.
When Peter turned around, Steve was looking at him with an eyebrow raised. "What did you just say?"
Peter's eyes widened, and he stifled a laugh. "Oh, nothing." Peter left with his pop tarts, leaving Steve even more confused.
*
Peter was working on his English essay when his music paused because of an incoming call. Peter looked down at his phone and saw Ned's contact photo.
"Hey, man, what's up?" Peter asked after answering the call.
"Procrastinating the English essay," came Ned's answer.
Peter snorted. "I was just about to start it, actually."
Almost an hour and a half later, Peter and Ned were still speaking. Peter had left his room after the first ten minutes and was walking around the compound. They talked about the upcoming decathlon meeting, Peter's last night patrol, and their conversation somehow ended up on what vines are superior.
"Vine has been dead for eight years, Ned. Why are we still talking about this?" Peter asked as he started his way up the wall and towards the ceiling.
"That sounds like defeat," teased Ned. " 'I'm Jared. I'm 19, and I never fucking learned how to read' is the superior vine."
"No, absolutely not," Peter protested, walking around one of the common's rooms light fixtures. "The best one is 'So I was sitting there, barbecue sauce on my titties' no contest."
"I beg your pardon?"
Peter looked down and saw Loki on a lounge chair, a book in his hands. "Oh, hey, Loki, didn't see you there." Then Peter realized what Loki must've heard and chuckled. "Oh, yeah, that, don't worry about it."
Peter dropped to the ground and walked back to his room. "Ned, it's the out of context for me."
*
Peter webbed up one of the robots and swung it, so it smashed into another. "Wooo! You guys have been holding out on me!" Peter ran off a building and shot a web at the last minute. "This is fun!"
"We're fighting homicidal robots!" Clint yelled into the comms. "How is any of this fun?"
"Okay, yeah, I see your point," Peter conceded as he landed on a rooftop of a building that hasn't been destroyed yet. "But I raise you skipping out of gym final."
"You're missing a final?" Tony asked, and a sound that distinctively sounded like a building crashing in the background rang through the comms.
"No," Peter lied and electrocuted two robots. Another landed behind Peter, but Peter quickly disarmed him, literally. Peter waved the metal arm in the air. "Don't fuck with me! I have the power of God and anime on my side!" And with a battle cry, Peter shoved the robot's arm into its head.
"Spiderman!" Multiple voices yelled, and some were close enough that Peter heard the actual sound instead of an echo in the comms.
Peter raised a hand. "Sorry, yeah, not the time."
"And watch your language."
*
Peter ruffled his curls for what felt like the one-hundredth time that evening. It was Peter's first holiday with all the Avengers. Even Thor and Loki were coming even though they celebrate Yuletide, not
Christmas, but the dates line up, so they can depart for two days to be with the Avengers.
Peter was wearing a formal white button-up and black slacks, with some black dress shoes that Steve bought him. With a final spray of the cologne that Rhodey gave him, Peter left his bathroom. Peter looked at the wrapped presents in his closet with a smile before closing the closet door, then, for good measure, webbed up the handle.
Peter walked into the common area where everyone was talking and eating. Peter smiled at Maria and her wife before heading over to Thor and Loki. They were admiring the overly large Christmas tree that Tony swore was necessary. It was too perfect.
Peter stood in front of the tree and faced the two Gods. "Merry Chrysler!"
Thor and Loki shared a confused expression.
"I thought it was Christmas?" Thor asked more than stated.
Peter smirked and nodded. "It is. Enjoy the night, you two."
And with that, Peter left to stuff his mouth while the Asgardians went around asking if it was Chrysler or Christmas.
*
Peter was training with Bucky early in the morning, and honestly, it was too early. Peter didn't want to practice, but Bucky had asked the night before, and Peter misunderstood Bucky's definition of morning. Peter thought of 10 am when he said morning, but Bucky meant 6:30. Peter was still tired and was practically relying on his spider-sense, but even that didn't suitably work if Peter was tired. Peter was dragging his feet and barely dodging punches. Honestly, it was a miracle that Peter was still standing after an hour; he predicted he would fall after the first ten minutes, but Peter is less than optimistic when he's half awake and on an empty stomach.
"Keep your arms up, Peter," Bucky said, easily dodging Peter's kick.
Peter rolled his eyes, and he wished he hadn't because, in that split second, Bucky decked him straight on the nose. Peter's head snapped back, and since he wasn't fully awake, he didn't have much balance and fell on his ass.
Peter groaned and covered the bottom half of his face. "Ah, fuck. I can't believe you've done this." It just slipped out, Peter hadn't meant to say it, but it was the first thing that popped in his mind.
Bucky raised an eyebrow. "That was an insanely good British accent."
Peter chuckled. "Thanks." He was glad that Bucky didn't question further because Peter didn't have an explanation. Vines were its own language, and sometimes Peter slipped into it at odd times.
"Come on," Bucky extended his hand. "Let's get some food in you, weirdo."