The Handler

"You will never own me again"-

Muse, The Handler

Sam swallowed and slowly creeped out from behind Ayo. Bucky's form was trembling and his breath hitched every other inhale. He was certain he's never seen the soldier this unhinged. 

The man's dark ringed eyes darted around at every movement and tracked every sound. He could see the madness spirling in those impossibly blue orbs as the man's fingers twitched into claws and he clawed at his head. 

Both Ayo and Zemo watched in mild horror at the sight of the soldier and Sam couldn't blame them. 

"Bucky?" Sam called out weakly. 

The man's head snapped towards him and Sam took the liberty to be thankful that the secluded alley hasn't drawn any unwanted attention from civilians. 

He's erratic. 

Bucky bared his teeth and mumbled to himself as he pulled himself up to his feet and swayed slightly. 

"It's still there S'm," the delirious man mumbled. "St'll th'r." 

Sam frowned at the slurred words and started to slowly creep towards Bucky while praying that Zemo and Ayo stayed back. He had heard Bucky's words earlier, even saw the threat in his stance. He cannot mess this up. 

"Bucky's let's go, yeah? Wanna head to Zemo's safehouse and continue the mission?" 

The word seemed to creep into Bucky's delirious awareness and he twitched again. 

"Mission."

Sam cringed. Shit, bad word choice. 

"Yeah, mission, buddy," he agreed. 

Once he was close enough to where he could see the sweat beading down the man's skin he held his hand out, hoping and praying that he didn't get lashed out at. 

"Sam," Bucky reached forward and took his hand in his sweaty, but firm grip. 

"That's my name," the shorter man agreed with false cheer. 

"Sam," this time it was Ayo saying his name, "be careful. We still don't know if-" 

"Thanks, Ayo, really," he interrupted her, "but I've got it from here. He just needs some TLC." 

Ayo eyed him and Zemo distrustfully and Sam is reminded about what she initially came here for. 

"Trust me, I don't like this plan any more than you do, it was his idea." He nodded towards Bucky, who was holding his hand like a lost child and frowning. 

"The Wolf would not-" 

"It's true," Zemo spoke up, breaking his silent spell. "James broke me out of The Raft."

The man twitched as his name was said and Sam put a steadying hand on the small of his back. 

Sam spoke. "We are searching for a woman named Donya to help find a woman named Karli. She leads a group of super soldiers called the Flag Smashers and they need to be stopped."

Ayo shifted as she thought about their problem. Sam wasn't sure how much Ayo knew about the Flag Smashers, but it seemed like she knew enough to be wary. 

"He broke our law, he broke our trust!" She spat at Bucky while not addressing him completely. 

Sam slowly held Bucky closer to him as the nonverbal man began to whine and shake his head. He swore he felt his heart break. 

The Wakandan woman continued after a deep breath, "but you can have him until you find your woman. I see what James has gone through since you've broken him out and..." she shook her head, "it is no matter. When we come for him again, you give him up."

Sam swallowed at the intimidating woman's glare and nodded. 

Not gonna argue with her on that one, Sam thought. 

He turned his eyes to Zemo and took a heavy breath. When he glanced back, Ayo was gone. 

Damn stealth masters. 

"Alright," Sam tried to pull himself together, "let's get to this safehouse of yours. I wasn't lying when I said that Barnes needed some TLC." 

Zemo nodded and lead them out of the alley. "Right," he chuckled lightly, "Barnes." 

He hoped that nobody would glance at them suspiciously as Sam lead a mostly catatonic Bucky down the street. 

"Yes," Sam growled, "Barnes. It's still him in there, you saw after-" 

Zemo interrupted him. "After he started raving on about himself in the third person? Or whenever he started to talk about "the asset" or whenever he went hours being the Winter Soldier as if he never left HYDRA?" 

"Shut it!" Sam warned as he gripped Bucky tighter. He loosened his grip and apologized softly when Bucky started to whine low in his throat again. 

Zemo's mouth snapped shut and he suddenly stopped in the middle of the sidewalk. 

"We're here," he announced. 

Sam glanced up at the beautiful building and internally appraised it. 

Even if he's a huge asshole, Zemo likes to travel in style. Better than Bucky and I alone could do. 

When Zemo opened the door and led them both inside, Sam lead Bucky to the couch and sat him down gently. 

"Bucky can you hear me?" Sam asked softly. 

His only answer was blank eyes and heavy breathing. 

"He has officially checked out," Zemo supplied helpfully from where he was opening cabinets. 

He ignored the other man and sat down in front of the super soldier, "is there anything you need?" 

No answer once again. 

Shit. 

"Buck?"

"My name," Bucky mumbled with a thick Russian accent. 

Sam was thrilled to get any reaction out of him. "Yes!" He crowed. 

Bucky startled slightly and finally made eye contact with Sam. 

"My name is meaningless." Bucky's eyes shifted downwards, "there are too many of them." 

Sam swallowed, the reaction was disheartening, but not unexpected. 

"You do have a lot of titles," he agreed. Bucky's breath hitched, "you have Soldat, Winter Soldier, the Asset, Ghost..." when Sam trailed off Bucky started to silently cry. "But you also have Bucky, Bucky, James, Barnes, jerk, asshole..." 

Bucky's leaking eyes met his and Sam had the thought of holding back his tears, but instead let them fall.  Fuck it, he gets to be emotional about this too.

"You were Steve's best friend and now you're mine too. Bucky, I know this is a lot. I can't even begin to understand about what you've gone through, but man, you've got to stop lying to yourself. You are James Bucky Barnes, but you're also the Winter Soldier. You are him and he is you, just like you said. That doesn't make me like you any less. You're my closest friend I trust you with my life. I can only hope you trust me somewhat too." 

Bucky's was now shaking on the couch while fat tears dripped down his face. Sam leant forward and clasped both of his mismatched hands in his and also cried. He did not care that Zemo was observing them from his corner in the kitchen. Bucky needed him now, not Zemo. 

"Bucky, you're a good man. All of you." 

Sam's words pierced Bucky and he threw himself at Sam and locked his hands around his back in a desperate embrace. 

"Thank you, Sam, thank you. I'm-I'm sorry, sorry, sorry, I'm-" Bucky's chin and arms dug uncomfortably into his skin, but he ignored the pain and squeezed Bucky back with all the strength he had back. 

Sam shushed the man from his frantic apologies, "you're okay, you're okay," he cooed into Bucky's fluffy hair. He rubbed his hand soothingly down the super soldier's back and didn't even realize that Zemo had moved until he was a few feet away from them with two glasses of water in his hands. 

"I figured you guys might need this," Zemo offered the glasses. 

Sam glanced at him and gratefully took the two cool glasses. 

"Thanks, man," he said reluctantly. He saw Zemo nod awkwardly and go and sit back at his spot in the kitchen. 

He peeled the trembling man off of him and offered Bucky a glass, to which the other man stared at blankly before taking it with a trembling metal hand. 

"Spasibo, Sam," Bucky mumbled before flinching violently. 

"Shh, it's okay," Sam took a long drink of water before encouraging Bucky to do the same. "It's okay."

Bucky's lips trembled as he swiped his tongue out and got rid of the excess water. 

"I can't believe that happened," he reluctantly admitted. 

Sam nodded patiently and let him talk. 

"I can't believe I'm still a killer. I can't believe that all the work that everybody has done, the work that Steve and you've done, can be undone with one bad day. The words aren't even there anymore." 

Sam softly encouraged the man to take another drink of water before speaking. He had noticed Bucky's accent slipping back into Russian during a few of the sentences, but didn't dare say anything. 

"Bucky, even when you were the Winter Soldier you still protected me. Your mission was to protect me! You were strong enough to show through your Winter Soldier personality." Sam patted the other man's leg. 

Bucky's red eyes stared at him warily before weakly protesting, "you're wrong, I'm not strong." 

"Buck," Sam moved his hands to his shoulder, "you are the strongest man I know. Not Steve, not Riley, you." 

Bucky's jaw worked before he gently put the water on the small end table and pulled Sam into an embrace once again. 

 "Thank you, Sam, thank you," he whispered against Sam's cheek. Sam tucked his head into the crook of Bucky's neck and breathed him in. 

"You're welcome," Sam murmured with a smile on his face. 

They will be just fine.