Chapter 7
He laid awake in his room, pale moonlight illuminating his cut features. After downing four glasses of water and a whole pizza on his own, he realized with disdain that the Asset didn't take care of himself while he was under control.
Bucky curled his lip.
Of course, he needed to be ordered to eat and drink like he was a fucking baby. Pathetic, Bucky thought to himself, absolutely pathetic.
He shuddered on the floor and curled the too small blanket closer around his mismatched shoulders. The floor was hard and grounding under him, but he questioned his decision to take off his shirt. Even though it was colder, he found out early on that letting the vibranium arm breathe was good for it. Even though Shuri had built in an internal cooling system (something that HYDRA didn't really care to install) his arm had been recallibrating nonstop for the past couple hours after he's retreated to his room and it needs to cool down.
He sighed heavily out of his nose and curled up into an even tighter ball as he tried to ignore the settling and clanking of his plates.
A sharp knock interrupted his thoughts.
Fuck, what if something went wrong? What is Sam got into trouble, what if Zemo-
"Buck?" He heard a soft voice outside of his door. Sam.
"Told you not to call me that," he replied weakly to the closed door.
Apparently, Sam took that as a sign to come in.
Of course.
"Hey, man, I just wanted to check up on you after everything that happened today and-"
"I'm fine, Sam," he interrupted the other man sharply. He knew he was being an ass, but he couldn't bring himself to care at the moment.
Thankfully, the bed was between him and the door so even though he has a larger than average body, he's able to hide from Sam's concerned eyes as the other man hovered in the doorway.
Sam cleared his throat, "nobody would be fine after what happened to you, Bucky. Nobody."
His chest felt uncomfortably tight and he shoved away the thought of crying. There was no fucking way he was crying again after blubbering all over Sam earlier like some kind of child.
"Well, I am."
He used his superior night vision to his advantage and watched as Sam's throat bobbed uncomfortably. Of course, he would uncomfortable, he's standing in the doorway of a murderer, of a man that doesn't even remember who he fucking is during day to day life, a person who's not even a fucking person-
"Bullshit," the other man snapped at him. Bucky's chest felt tight again, but this time it wasn't sadness, but fear.
What did I do wrong? How did I upset the Handler? How can I make him feel better? How can I comply-
"Shit, Barnes, 'm sorry, I shouldn't have snapped, I'm so sorry," Sam was suddenly right fucking in front of him, causing him to shake even harder and throw himself back into the wall. The cherry on top of the night was the feeling of the dry wall crumbling behind his back. The serum that he never wanted helped that. The advantage he never asked for. Steve should have just left him on that table to fucking die.
"Woah there," Sam's voice came from his left side, his stronger side (whether or not that was deliberate, that was a dumb move. Even if it did make him feel safer). "Can I touch you Bucky?"
Sam's asking him if he can touch him. The strangeness of the question had him pausing his whirlwind of thoughts and cocking his head. It's been so long since anybody has asked him that.
He wanted to say no, to snarl and bare his teeth and scare the man out of the room, but his traitorous mouth answered without his brain's consent.
"Yes," he breathed out. "Please," he added as an afterthought.
That's what people do right? They use manners?
Warm hands touched his bare shoulders and he barely contained a flinch.
"You're doing great, buddy. Let's take some deep breaths yeah?"
He locked eyes with Sam and pressed himself into Sam's warm palms while also taking in heaving breaths that rolled the plates on his arms.
"Doing great," the other man repeated again. The praise had him internally preening and caused a warm blush to rise to his cheeks.
Nobody ever says he's "good" anymore.
"Thanks," he mumbled to Sam once he got his bearings about himself. "You didn't have to do that."
"Yeah, right," the other man scoffed, "like I was going to leave you here alone."
Bucky didn't voice out loud that that was exactly what he expected Sam to do.
"Let's get you cleaned up, yeah?" Sam stood and offered him a hand up.
Oh yeah, he almost threw himself through damn a wall because he was too damn scared of his friend hurting him.
Jesus.
"Yeah," he agreed.
Taking Sam's palm with his flesh hand, Bucky heaved himself up with ease and winced at the feeling of plaster falling off of his shirtless back. He frowned when he felt something wet slide down his back, had he really impaled himself with part of the wall?
"Let's go to the bathroom," Sam lead him out of his bare room and towards his destination. "Zemo should have these things stocked full with all the weird shit he does."
He looked at Bucky and quirked a smile like it was an inside joke. He didn't know what he was supposed to find funny.
"Alright then."
Sam filled the air with meaningless chatter as he ushered him into the bathroom and hunted through the expensive looking cabinets to find medical supplies.
With a soft quirk of his lips, Bucky realized that he enjoyed the chatter that Sam was filling the awkward air with. It put less pressure on him to reply.
"What're smilin' at Barnes?" The shorter man pulled out a first aid kit from the cabinet and set it on the porcelain sink. "You laughin' at the story of when Steve almost got himself beaten by an old four foot tall Romanian lady that wouldn't give up any info on you?"
Four foot tall Romanian hardass...that sounded like...
"Simona?" He rasped in disbelief.
Sam grinned at him as he took out the disinfectant and bandages.
"Yeah, that was her name! She lived in the apartment next to you, right?"
He nodded slowly as fond memories filled his head. Well, not too fond. Yes, he was on the run from everybody in the world, but it was also his first taste of freedom. Returning to the country that his mother loved so dearly left him with a feeling of being home. Seeing all the sights his mother had told him stories about and eating the food that she had made when they could afford the spices...it was almost magical.
"Romania," he whispered. He could tell that his accent was slipping through, but this time he didn't try to suppress it like usual.
"It was a beautiful country," Sam smiled at him fondly.
Bucky shook his head, "sorry I was just-"
"Buck," Sam interrupted him with a laugh, "you don't have to apologize, you're fine."
He nodded and gave him a sheepish smile.
"Alright, I'm gonna get this drywall outta your back, this might hurt a little."
He turned himself slightly so that he could watch Sam in the mirror as the other man pulled pieces of drywall out of his back with a pair of tweezers. He numbly realized that he didn't feel any pain at all. The man had a gentle way about him, he talked to him with a soothing voice as his steady hands wiped away the blood and dropped the ruined wall into the trash can next to the sink.
He zoned out and watched the shorter man with half lidded eyes as he continued his work. Once he pulled out the bandages though, Bucky interrupted.
"No, I don't need those I'm fine. I can already feel them healing up," he gave Sam a flat grin and sunk into the corner.
Sam sighed. "I know you can heal, man, but it would make me feel a lot better knowing you're not sleeping on the floor and bleeding all over your too small blanket."
He huffed out a breath through his nose and clenched his jaw when he realized Sam was right. He could barely feel the pain, but he could already feel the blood dripping down his back again after Sam had wiped it down multiple times. If he was not a super soldier he might've needed stitches.
"Fine," he grunted and turned around.
Bucky jumped when he felt the first press of the bandage to his back and clenched his eyes to stand still.
"Sorry," Sam whispered as he rolled the bandage through his tense arms and around his chest.
He had to concentrate hard to prevent his arm from clanking and adjusting like crazy.
"All done," Sam announced proudly after he had wrapped the bandage around his chest a few more times.
The taller man let out a shaky breath that he didn't know he was holding and offered Sam a wobbly smile. He did help him after all.
"Thank you, Sam, really," he smiled warmly at the man.
The shorter man laughed at him, exposing the gap between his front teeth that's just one of those flaws that made him even more charming.
"It's no problem, Buck, anytime."
When they went back to bed later, with Sam on top of the bed and Bucky laying on the floor next to him, Bucky realized that he didn't mind that Sam had called him Buck.