TELL HIM ABOUT THE GHOST. YOU COULD REALLY USE SOME HELP.
Great idea, DIPPER!
UNCLE AZ is calming, and smart, and SLIGHTLY INDESTRUCTIBLE, IN THE WAY THAT ONLY A BEING FORGED FROM THE HEART OF A DYING STAR CAN BE, so getting him in on the loop is probably a safe bet.
(At the very least, it would make you feel better, and it can’t make things worse.)
"Well, uh…” Oh dear god. Please clear your throat any decade now. You sound like one of those squeaky dolls. “A-Hem. There is something, actually. Pacifica- the host's daughter, you remember her, right? Mabel’s friend?”
“Oh, her. Kind of a nervous kid, reminds me of me. Maybe.” AZ squints distantly. “Probably. Not in a nice way.”
WELL THEN, WE DON’T HAVE TIME TO UNPACK ALL THAT.
“Yeaaaah. Her." You shake your head, moving on. "So, uh, she kind of called me and Ford up to deal with a… a supernatural thing? There was apparently a small tornado created in the ballroom this morning and a voice with demands alongside it. We figured it was a ghost or specter."
You rock casually on your feet, stuffing your hands in your pockets LIKE SOME KIND OF CLOWN. A BUFFOON, IF YOU WILL.
“And, uh- kind of turns out that it was a lot bigger and scarier than we thought it was gonna be and now it’s hiding somewhere in the estate and then the party started and if we tell anyone it’s gonna flip the fuck out and probably kill everyone-”
AZ lightly presses down on your head like an off-switch. “Slow down, Mason. Can we rewind that a little there?”
Okay. Slow down. BREATHE.
“We’re kind of in over our heads,” you hastily summarize. “But we kind of- we don’t really have a choice but to deal with it right here, right now while keeping it as much of a secret as possible. And it’ll probably turn into a fight.”
AZ surprisingly seems to brighten at the prospect. “Oh, well that’s just business as usual, then! And here I thought something really went sideways."
You make a non-committal noise, shrugging. “I mean, it’s probably at least a little different than you’re used to. I don’t know if you guys have, like, space ghosts out there, but Earth ghosts are immune to most conventional weaponry or forms of direct combat. Perks of metaphysical intangibility."
AZ hums with new understanding, promptly putting away the ENTIRE REAL ACTUAL GUN that he had been loading just a second before.
A GUN.
ASTERIA DIAMOND HAS A GUN.
ASTERIA FUCKING DIAMOND, EVERYBODY. JUST WHEN YOU THINK YOU WERE SETTLED WITH THE WEIRD.
It is occurring to you, just now, that Gems probably have no concept of concealed carry laws.
“Uncle Az, why do you have a gun at a private party?”
“Connie insisted,” AZ says with a smile, as if that explained literally anything. “Not that I was going to use it. It just felt kind of rude for you to be unarmed when I’ve got-” He gestures to himself vaguely, his smile quirking to the side. "I don't exactly require the assist. But if it is one of your human ghost things, I guess that’s probably useless."
His expression flattens.
“Actually, can’t be too careful. Just take it anyway.”
>ASTERIA DIAMOND GIVES DIPPER PINES A [GUN OF UNCERTAIN AND ALIEN ORIGIN]. IT LOOKS KIND OF FAMILIAR FOR SOME REASON. DON'T GET INTO TOO MUCH TROUBLE WITH IT!
Your quivering hands barely manage to shove the weapon into your waistband. Sure, you'd imagined using guns like this before- after training and figuring out what you needed to do with it- but to have it so suddenly was an entirely different animal.
Performance anxiety! It’s real, it’s here, and oh boy howdy you done got it.
“I’ll tell Connie to be on the lookout for… actually, I don’t know what we’re looking for. I have never seen a human ghost in my life.” AZ blinks. “What are we supposed to do when we find it?”
FUCK. You didn’t think you’d make it this far.
>[IMPROVISE, DIPPER PINES. IT’S WHAT YOU’RE GOOD AT.]
“I think,” you slowly decide, “you contact us if you see it so we can all take it down together. You can still do that signal hacky thing to get on our phones, right? NSA whammy it?"
“Last I checked, yes.”
“Yeah, do that if something comes up. I know you can, uh, definitely look out for yourself, but it’s better not to go it alone, right?”
“Sure is!” AZ easily agrees.
“And if you do see the ghost, try to herd it away from everyone else?” You hesitantly add. “I mean sure, we’re trying to contain this mess, but protecting the guests takes priority, you know?”
AZ’S smile softens. “You’re a good kid, Mason. You know that?”
You try not to let your face get too red over the praise. “Yeah, whatever. Just-” You give an AWKWARD LITTLE HUMAN SALUTE as you walk off. “-keep an eye out. Enjoy the party until something goes crazy.”
You need to meet up with STANFORD PINES. You found backup, now you need information.
WHAT DO YOU NEED TO KNOW FIRST?
>[POSSIBLE LOCATIONS. YOU NEED TO KNOW WHAT AREAS TO PAY MORE ATTENTION TO DURING THE ONGOING SEARCH.]
>[STAN AND FORD SAW THE GHOST. WHAT DID IT LOOK LIKE? WHAT POWERS DOES IT HAVE RIGHT NOW?]
>[WHERE IS EVERYONE STATIONED? FORM BATTLE STRATEGIES, GET YOUR THOUGHTS TOGETHER FOR WHEN YOU NEED TO FIGHT.]
>[THIS PLACE IS FULL OF LIVING HIDING PLACES FOR YOUR TARGET. WHO IS MOST AT RISK TO BE POSSESSED? WHO IS THE WEAKEST AMONG US?]