Chapter 1
“And what about Bucky?”
The question took him by surprise. Zemo was a smart man, with a strong and simple and solid ideology.
Every super soldier needs to die.
Zemo’s purpose in life was to kill every super soldier he met.
Karli Morgenthau was a super soldier.
Zemo had to kill Karli Morgenthau.
Simple. Mathematical. No hesitation. The simple idea of killing her brought Zemo calm and comfort, and it felt like a wave of peace washing over him.
Every super soldier needs to die.
Zemo’s purpose in life was to kill every super soldier he met.
James Barnes was a super soldier.
Zemo had to...
He could not even verbalize the thoughts, and it felt like he would throw up if he tried. James Barnes could not die. And Zemo could never lay a hand on him. Was it because he was scared? Was he so afraid of James Barnes that he could not even form the thoughts of fighting against him?
Zemo knew his weaknesses and own mortality more than anyone else. He knew that he, a mere human, was fighting against gods amongst men. He was scared. Always has been, always will be. But it never stopped him. It never made him sick or hesitant. Killing super soldier never had been an easy task, yet he had done it countless times by now - even though he did count them all.
Killing James Barnes while he was sleeping, comfortably curled up on Zemo’s privet jet’s seat, would have been extremely easy.
He did not even think about it then.
He could not even think about it now.
Just how pathetic was that.
Zemo always took pride in his strong, simple and solid ideology. But how solid was it now that he felt ready to destroy the world to protect one of the people he swore to destroy? How simple was it now that he fought body and soul to make an exception?
Zemo was a smart man. A criminal mastermind, an expert in psychology. He didn’t need therapy to know exactly what was going on with himself. He was falling.
He just wanted to avenge his wife. His child. His family. How did they feel now, looking down upon him catching feelings for the enemy?
Zemo knew that, come one day, he will be forced to face James Barnes, a gun in his hand. That, at this instant, it will become a kill or be killed situation.
Good thing he didn’t have any reason to live anymore.
“You are a good man, James Barnes.” He whispered without even looking back. He didn’t need to, he could recognize those careful yet strong footsteps anywhere.
“Stop this, Zemo.” James’ hand, the flesh one, holding the gun did not even quiver. His eyes focused on him – his target, his prey.
He knew it would not have taken long for the former Winter Soldier to find him after he had escaped the Dora Milaje. He had just bought himself some time. Just enough time to fly back to Sokovia - well, to where it once was at least - and kneel at the memorial that represents everything he ever had, everything he ever lost. It also gave him some time to think, to come to term with his own realizations and disgust. “I am sorry, Heike”, he thought in a loop, as his fingers slowly danced on the marble, in an ultime caress. “My last shred of love should have been for you and Carl.”
Funny how grieving became harder and harder as time passed by.
“I know that you and Samuel think you know me.” Zemo straightened up and faced his opponent for what he intended to be their last face to face. “I know you think that every word I say, every smile I have, all is so I can play with your head. And maybe some are. But not right now.”
“Stop talking, this will not get you anywhere.” James spat, and Helmut Zemo smirked even wider. There is nowhere he wanted to go. Nowhere else he’d rather be. No one else’s hand he’d rather die from.
“The Dora Milaje will be here any minute now, there is no escaping this.”
“Because if I try to flee, you will shoot me, right?”
“Exactly.”
And as every fiber of his body screamed for him to kneel and beg for James to put an end to his misery, Zemo just smiled and started to walk towards him. He was a trained soldier, a very good one at that. He was not about to lose his composure in front of the enemy. Not now, not ever.
“Stop moving, I’m not kidding.”
“It’s ok, James. You can do it. Let me give you this.” He whispered, keeping his feline pace towards Bucky.
“Give me what?! Stop moving right the fuck now, Zemo, I’m not joking around!” And there it was, the small quiver of his hand he was looking for earlier, proof of the anger and confusion rising inside Bucky’s brain.
“Give you peace. Give you your revenge.”
“What the fuck are you going on about?!” He was screaming now, and it would have been extremely funny to the Baron, if this wasn’t the last chapter of the tragedy that has become of his life.
“I know what you think every time you look at me, James. I know you will never be at peace as long as I’m still alive somewhere. Even locked up on the other side of the planet, I know that not a day will pass without you wondering if I broke free.”
“Believe it or not, my world does not revolve around you.” And oh, did the words hurt.
“I believe you. But my world does revolve around you, and you know it.” Voicing the truth got his heart to feel a little lighter, but his steps became even heavier. This was the end of the line. His only consolation resided in the look of absolute confusion on the face of the man before him, as he slowly, unconsciously, lowered his gun. “My entire existence has but one goal now: the destruction of every super soldier. And that is what you are.”
“So, what? You gonna kill me? Go ahead and try that, let’s see what’s gonna happen.” James screamed as he put his gun away and reached out for the knife he kept at his hips. A shiver of fear and excitement shooked the Baron’s body. This was better, so much more intimate than a bullet in his skull.
“I wish I could, James. It would have made things easier for me.” He stopped walking, ten steps before and sighed. “I meant what I said, in Berlin. It was never personal.”
“I am not having this conversation with you.”
“I know what you’ve been through.” Zemo kept going, like Bucky didn’t just made it clear that he didn’t want to talk. “And I truly am sorry that I added to your traumas. But I want to thank you.”
As Bucky’s expression grew more and more confused, Zemo resumed his walk towards the former Winter Soldier, ever so slowly and gracious.
“When I lost my wife and my child, my world… It turned upside down. But you, your simple existence… It gave me hope for revenge. It gave me… A purpose. And I know that we didn’t live this part of our history the same way. I know that my dream caused your nightmares - or, well, at least some of them. And I do apologize for that. But I also need to genuinely thank you. Thank you, for giving me a reason to live for a little more.”
“Stop fooling around, Zemo, I’m not buying it.” Bucky’s jaw was clenched and his fingers that were holding the knife kept twitching “What do you want?”
“My sentence, it broke me.” Once again, Helmut Zemo didn’t even acknowledge Bucky’s word and kept reciting his monologue “I am not talking about the whole solitary confinement situation, it wasn’t so bad, in all honesty. It’s just… It wasn’t part of my plan.”
“What, getting caught?” James spat, and Zemo chuckled as his steps came to an end. He was now inches away from the other man. He could almost feel his breath mix with his own.
“Surviving.” He whispered. “The plan was simple. Avenge their death and reunite with them at last. But, as a great King once said to me, the living weren’t done with me yet. And so I got imprisoned for years. Kept from my wife, kept from my son. The worst punishment. But I guessed I deserved it. No happy endings for people like me, right?”
“A suicide is not a happy ending, Zemo” Bucky breathed, and when the Sokovian chuckled, he said it again, louder this time. “A suicide is never a happy ending.”
“Let’s face it, James, I don’t deserve a happy ending anyway. But you do. And that is what I’m offering you.” The Baron spread his arm and tilted his head in humility. “Take it. Take your revenge and be at peace.”
“You’re completely nuts.”
“Come on, James.” Zemo hissed, like the snake he was. “We both know you want to.”
“Trust me, I do. But I am not failing rule number 2 because of you.”
“... What is rule number 2?” Zemo asks, curious.
And James just shrugged and responded in an obviously annoyed tone:
“The most important rule of my therapist, in accordance with my presidential pardon. “Don’t hurt anyone” and whatnot.”
Zemo took some time to let that sink into his brain and nodded briefly, before a simple frown marked his face for a brief instant. “Why isn’t it rule number 1, if it's the most important rule ?”
“I know, right?” Bucky chuckled, and Zemo felt his face heating up under the love and disgust he was feeling at the same time. Heike and Carl, his late wife and son, reminded to him, as a supreme punishment for feelings he had no right to feel for anyone else now. This had to end, right here, right now. For them.
“You have commitment to your rules then. Alright. I understand, любовь моя (my love). And I will not make you disobey them, not if you don’t want to.”
Bucky frown, confused “ любовь моя (my love)?”
Using his confusion, Zemo acted quickly and, in what felt like a quarter of a second, he snatched James’ knife from his hand and went to plant it at his own heart. And if the Sokovian was disappointed by the fact that he couldn’t die from James’ hand, he still took pride that he was able to end it with his personal weapon. He closed his eyes, waiting for the pain to kick in once the knife would find his target, but a metallic sound made him widen his eyes and look into James’ intense and focused gaze.
Bucky had been quicker and had put his vibranium hand on his chest, grabbing his shirt like his life depended on it, shielding his heart from the blade.
A moment passed where neither of them dared moving, staring into the soul of the other, searching for answers or clues as to what was happening. James was the one who got his senses back first. Seizing his knife from Zemo’s hand with his flesh one, he threw it away and secured the Baron’s body firmly against his, placing his right arm against his lower back, close to Zemo’s hips, while keeping his vibranium hand gripped on his shirt, too afraid to loosen it up.
“You’re not trying to die to bring me peace.” He mumbled. “You’re trying to die because you’re a coward. Stop running away.”
“I am not…” Zemo was breathless, at loss of words for one of the rare times of his life. He had a plan. And it was derailing. “I am not running. I am not...”
“You are trying to run away from me, right now.” Bucky’s grips tighten up a bit more. “ That’s what you said. “Любимый (darling)” right ?You haven’t even properly grieved for your wife and kid yet, did you?” and the intense loss that briefly passed in Zemo’s eyes answered the question for him. “You need a fucking therapy, man.”
“That’s not what I want, I want...” Zemo stuttered, but Bucky was having none of it.
“I don’t care about what you think you want, just like you don’t care about what I want!” he yelled, and it suddenly became very quiet around. So much that Zemo could have sworn he was able to hear James’ erratic heartbeat, not far from his own.
“I want…” Bucky murmured. “I want you to accept your sentence. To serve your time in Wakanda. I want you to mourn in peace, without plotting a nonsense revenge in your brain 24/7. I want you to get better, to grow out of this rampage road you’re on. I know what it feels to be… Lost. Having no dream, no hopes of anything getting better… No purpose. I struggle with that too. And it’s ok. It’s ok Любимый (darling).”
“Don’t.” Zemo breathed out, like he was afraid someone, a ghost, could hear them.
“She is gone.” Bucky said, and his hand caressed Zemo’s back slowly, in a reassuring movement. “She is gone. And you miss her, I get it. But if she loved you, and I’m sure she did, she wouldn’t want this for you. This… emotional misery. You, refusing to be happy, refusing to live, to… to care for someone again.” Bucky rested his forehead against his and breathed. “You are allowed to survive without her and to feel... Whatever it is you are feeling right now.”
The Sokovian shivered and closed his eyes. “You shouldn’t lead someone on like that, sergeant Barnes.”
“I’m not leading you on.”
And when Zemo opened his eyes again, he only had a small amount of time to actually look into James Barnes’ blue eyes before they closed as he was leaning in a small and chaste kiss. Zemo took a long time before melting into the kiss. It was, after all, the first kiss he ever had after the last one he had shared with his wife. It was hard, letting go.
Bucky slowly broke the kiss and his vibranium hand finally let go of Zemo’s shirt, falling along his body and resting on his hips on a small embrace. He seemed a bit shy, almost uncomfortable, and Zemo feared he had changed his mind.
“I am sorry, if this wasn’t… good?” Bucky chuckled. “I tried, I swear, but I just couldn’t get on with this new dating system that is going on and… Well, a lot of words to say that… It was actually my first kiss since the forties, so I don’t really know if my kissing techniques are up to date?”
The tension seemed to escape Zemo’s body all at once as he smirked. “It was perfect, солдат (soldat).”
“Yes, truly perfect солдат.” Ayo spat, and only now did Zemo remember that the Dora Milaje were searching for him. A wave of anger and disgust washed over him as he realised - James was probably only stalling for time.
“Alright, Ayo, calm down.” Bucky had let go of him and wasn’t looking at Zemo anymore, as three Dora Milaje seized him. “He’s gonna go with you. But when you’re done with him, I want him back.”
“And what makes you think we will ever be done with him, white wolf?”
“Your and Wakanda’s honor.”
Ayo puffed. “This man has crime he needs to respond for.”
“And he will. And then he will be rehabilitated, right? That’s how justice works.”
“He killed my King.” She growled
“Ayo.” Bucky’s tone was pleading and a small silence took place, while the White wolf and the chief of the Dora Milaje stared at each other for a moment.
Ayo then sighed and shook her head. “I’ll let you know what will be his sentence as soon as it is determined.”
“Thank you.” Bucky smiled at her and turned to Zemo, a very serious yet encouraging smile on his lips. “We’ll meet again, Любимый (darling)”
And as Zemo smiled - a real smile, not one of his usual smirk - Ayo groaned.
James forgot that she could understand russian.