James POV
“Prong you know I love you and would do anything for you but I need something to work with here,” Sirius says above me but I can barely hear him through the sobs cutting through my body, somehow I manage to mumble, “Lily kissed me.”
“I’m sorry did I hear that right, Lily Evans, girl who has rejected you since first year kissed you,” Peter asks and I assume blinks but my eyes are sticky and I can’t see so I just nod.
“Then why are you crying mate?” Sirius asks, “If the love of my life for seven years kissed me I would be overjoyed.”
“Actually, if I remember correctly, you did cry the first time we kissed, “Remus cuts in, “unless I’m not the love of your life?”
“No of course you are but that was different,” Sirius sighs.
“How?” Peter quips and I’m happy to let them ramble on as I think about the night.
“Well I didn’t know I loved Remus, James knows he loves Lily,” and for some reason that makes me cry harder.
“James please,” Sirius begs from beside me.
“Regulus,” is all I manage to choke out.
“Regulus? Did he just say Regulus?”
“Yes,” Peter confirms.
“What does my brother have to do with this?”
There's silence for a minute before Remus goes, “oh.”
“What? What ‘oh’?” Sirius asks frantically looking between me and Remus.
“Sirius, James is in love,” Remus says quietly and I let the tears falls quietly down my face.
“Yeah we know that, we’ve known that for years,” Sirius says confused.
“No not with Lily.”
“Oh,” Peter whispers.
“Will you just stop with the Oh’s and tell me what's going on?”
I look up at Sirius then through my wet eyes and whisper, “Sirius.”
He looks at me confused for a second before his face softens.
“Oh, it’s Regulus isn’t it?” I just nod and look down, I feel like a fool for falling for him and surely Sirius is going to hate me. I mean that’s his little brother we’re talking about, “James, I’m not mad at you. I am, however, going to pay a visit to my little brother.”
“No Sirius don’t,” I whisper hoarsely.
“He hurt you,” Sirius protests.
“He didn’t mean to, he doesn’t know.”
“Know what?”
“My feelings,” I can’t say it. I know I should but I can’t admit it, not yet.
“Then what the hell happened cause I’m really not understanding,” Sirius snaps and I flinch.
“Okay Pads that’s enough for now yeah?” Remus guides Sirius away from me and to sit on his bed. I know I should tell him what happened but I’m still trying to figure out my own feelings. I thought I loved Lily but now, I don’t know.
Peter walks over to me and hands me a mug. When he had time to leave I have no idea, “Emery is worried about you.”
I look at him before taking a sip, “You know Emmery?”
“We all have our hideouts, James,” he gives me a small knowing smile.
“Did you ever..” I trail off but I don’t need to finish the sentence for him to understand.
“No, I never ran into him, I always peaked before going in. I let him have his privacy.”
“So you know?”
“About the astronomy tower? Yeah I’ve known since first year.”
“How?”
“No one can be happy all the time, not even you. Plus I know what your room looks like.”
“Thank you for not telling.”
“It’s not my secret to tell, never was,” he shrugs, “now drink that before it gets cold.”
I look at him for a moment before I take a sip. The drink is warm but not hot anymore from the time it took to talk to Pete. It’s still delicious, the rich chocolate coating my mouth and gathering in my stomach warming me completely. I sigh and lean against Pete ignoring everything else for now.