Regulus POV
James interrupted my library time earlier today so I decided to go after classes before lunch, though I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t avoiding my dorm room. Evan and Barty were too invested in each other during transfiguration to corner me but that won’t last long and I’m honestly not sure what to tell them.
Do I tell them the truth, that it's all fake and James and I are just pretending? Or do I lead them on like the rest of the school? I know for a fact that James' friends, including my brother, know that it’s all fake but maybe a selfish part of me wants to live in the blissful fantasy.
I’m so caught up in my thoughts that I don’t even realize when I run into a wall. That's weird, I think. There's never been a wall here. There still isn't. I look up and barely contain a groan.
“Why are you always around?”
“What do you not like seeing me?”
“Hardly, Potter,” I roll my eyes and force myself from the warmth that is James Potter.
“You wounded me,” I can tell he’s teasing me like always but there’s something in his eyes that shows me he’s not all into it.
“Was there something you wanted?”
“Believe it or not, I wasn’t actually looking for you,” he scowls at my cold remark and I am suddenly reminded that I have only ever seen him look at me like that.
“Oh your precious redhead then?” I raise my eyebrow as his scowl darkens, huh so not the only one.
“No, I know where she is.”
“Trouble in paradise?”
“What does it matter to you?” His voice is low and cold, it reminds me of my own when someone prods to close to a nerve.
“Well, the sooner you win her over the sooner I get rid of you,” I shrug but something is pushing at me, I push back harder.
“What and get rid of the protection I give you?” Jame laughs dryly, “thought you’d want to use me a little longer than that.”
This startles me. Everything I’ve heard about James was that he was a ray of sunshine who never hurt anyone, was always kind, and always happy. This was not that James.
“Look whatever's got you bent out of shape has nothing to do with me so if you’re going to be a dick then move,” I try to push him out of the way.
“What, I'm supposed to be nice to you all the time and you just get to treat me like shit?”
“Please, Potter, you knew who you were getting involved with I have never been nice,” something flickers in his eyes and he holds my gaze searching for an answer, I look away.
“Yeah well who gets to decide I have to be nice all the time anyways,” he’s bitter and I look back up at him. His brows are furrowed and he looks… he looks sad.
“No one,” I can’t stop the words that come out of my mouth.
“What?” He looks startled like he forgot I was standing there.
“No one gets to decide how you act, Potter.”
“Yeah but-,” he tries to argue but I shut him down.
“You’re the only person who gets to decide what is and isn’t right for you,” I step closer, “it’s your life, James, do what you want, act how you want, be who you want. Fuck everyone else.”
For a second he stands there not saying anything, his eyes are wide and I can make out the green that swirls in the brown of his hazel eyes. His eyelashes fluttered slightly against his glasses. His breath is shallow.
“What?” I mean it comes out cold but it comes out in a strained whisper instead.
“You said my name,” I snorted slightly and rolled my eyes.
“Well yes, Potter, one normally does say one's name when talking to them. It’s only proper.”
“No you used my name, you said James.”
Oh.
“Yes well it was a slip up, it won’t happen again,” I go to move away because if I look at James any longer I’ll do something stupid like kiss him again.
“What if I want you to?”
“What?”
He steps closer, “What if I want you to call me James?”
My breath catches in my throat and my next sentence is strained, “why would you want that?”
He looks at me and his eyes flicker to my lips, and for a fleeting moment I think he’s going to kiss me, “Because I want us to be friends, can’t we be friends?”
I blink harshly and pull away, of course that’s why, “No, James, I don’t believe we can.”
The bell rings and the moment is over. James looks at me with a small frown not understanding. James is the sun, he is warm and bright and full of goodness and I am a star. We are destined to burn brightly, hotly. No, friendship would not do.