James POV
I’m left in the hall even more confused than when I arrived. Regulus didn’t want to be my friend and I don’t understand. He seemed so kind, allowing me to be upset and telling me that I could. My whole life I had been the person to change myself so people liked me. Growing up I was alone, I was an only child and the older kids in the neighborhood didn’t want to play with me.
When I went to Hogwarts I decided I wasn’t going to be alone anymore. I was going to make people like me. So I became this bright bubbly person. I decided that I would help people. That would be my thing, and I enjoyed it. I love seeing a smile on my friend's face as I give them presents. I love being someone people can trust and confide with. I love being a shoulder to cry on and an ear to tall to.
But some days are hard. I should be happy all the time, I have no reason not to. My parents are the most amazing people in the world. My mom is warm and smells of cinnamon. My father was full of bright laughter and eyes twinkled with mischief. I was blessed with some of the most amazing friends and yet sometimes I still was unhappy.
I feel ungrateful for the things I have been given. I have never wanted after anything I have never got. I love my life but sometimes I wish for more. Regulus is the first person who’s told me that’s okay.
My friends and family are great but I doubt that they’d understand. They all have real issues, Sirius’ family is shit. Remus is stuck with a secret for the rest of his life, Peter's sister is nowhere to be found. I couldn’t possibly tell them. My parents would listen but they worry enough as it is.
The rest of my day is filled with one thing.
Regulus.
Regulus.
“Regulus my dear boy come in,” my head shoots straight up and I blink disoriented. After my run in with Regulus I went to lunch and made my way to Slughorn's classroom but in a daze.
“What’s he doing here?” I hiss towards Peter sitting in front of me.
“If you didn’t zone out so much you’d know that he’s joining our class,” Peter hisses annoyed.
“But why is he a year younger than us?”
“Yes and he’s much too talented to be with his classmates so Slughorn moved him up a year,” Remus explained before shooting him a wink and moving up a row to sit with Sirius and Peter, “so you can sit with lover boy.”
“Ah perfect, you’ll work with Mr. Potter and Miss Evans,” Slughorn says and Regulus lifts his eyes slightly, hair falling in front of his face which is void of emotions.
“Hi, darling,” I smile brightly as Regulus sits next to me but doesn’t respond so I lean closer, “people are watching Reggie, they think we’re dating.”
He huffs but puts a small smile on his face and I’m momentarily star struck, it's not much but god he looks so much younger and softer.
“Hello, love,” my heart skips a beat. I reach for his hand when he’s finished sitting and he pulls away, “what are you doing?”
“Holding your hand,” I look him in the eyes, “is that okay?”
His eyes flash with so many emotions I can’t make them all out until they finally soften and he nods slightly.
I don't take his hand fully, just rest my hand on top and wrap my fingers around his slightly. He acts like he doesn’t notice but his cheeks are dusted pink. It's one of my favorite looks on him.
Lily shifts beside me and I remember that Regulus and I aren’t the only two in the room so I look over and shoot her a small smile. She gives a smile back but something is off. I shrug anyways and turn back to slughorn enjoying the feeling of Regulus’ hand under mine.